


What Happens in Canto Bight

by SpaceWaffleHouseTM



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canto Bight, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Las Vegas Wedding, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Married Reylo, Married in Canto Bight, Married in Vegas trope, Mutual Pining, Not So Virgin Anymore I Guess, Oral Sex, Post TLJ, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, They Banter Like an Old Married Couple From Day One, What Happens in Canto Bight Stays in Canto Bight, smut possible, star crossed lovers, this is going to be a RIDE, virgin reylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 130,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/pseuds/SpaceWaffleHouseTM
Summary: Rey wakes up in her Canto Bight hotel room while on a mission for the Resistance unable to remember a thing from the night before, which wouldn't be a problem, if Kylo Ren hadn't woken up beside her and they weren't both wearing rings on their fingers.





	1. A Most Unconventional Wedding Night

**Author's Note:**

> I have been so excited to post this, I've seen a few Married in Vegas AUs, but I for some reason decided to imput one in canon... I'm aware that they probably don't have things like this in Star Wars, but for fic's sake, we're going with it.

All Rey felt when she woke up that first morning was an overwhelming pain. It pounded at her skull like nothing she’d ever felt before, but from the way many in the Resistance had talked about hangovers - on top of all that time she’d spent under Unkar Plutt’s terrible eye - she knew what it was instantly before she ever decided to open her eyes. She opened her mouth to groan, but her throat was too dry, too raw for any sound to come out.

Alcohol, she decided, was the galaxy’s biggest kriffing mistake.

It only got worse from there. She’d initially thought she’d be able to lie there in her misery, waiting patiently until it got better — after all, who was better at waiting than she was — but it only proceeded to worsen with nausea that gripped her tight and told her immediately she needed to make a mad dash for the fresher.

Rey, however, was not going to make it to the fresher. No, instead she simply leaned over the side of the bed a ways, and dumped the contents of her stomach into what must’ve been a waste bin if the sound of liquid hitting metal meant anything. Whoever had let her back into her hotel room the night before must’ve known this was a possibility. She made a mental note to thank them when she no longer felt like absolute death.

When she finished, she was finally able to roll back in bed, and continue resting. Sleep was no longer an option, the ache in her head pounded like nothing else she’d ever felt, and she’d encountered some _shit_ in her lifetime. Illnesses of various sorts had tried to take her at some point in her life, inducing powerful headaches that made her writhe in her sheets as she marked the days without her parents, and more recently her head sometimes hurt from when the force decided to continue connecting her and… just what was she supposed to call him these days?

Hilariously, her last memory happened to be of him. The last thing she could recall before waking up in her bed again - at least, she hoped it was her bed, she hadn’t even thought to open her eyes to check yet, and she’d heard stories about what the intoxicated tended to do — was spotting Ben — _Kylo —_ across the bar, and storming toward him angrily. After that, there was a brief haze of black in her vision, and she was throwing up into a bin, Kylo and everyone else in that bar completely gone as far as she could tell.

Shaking thoughts of Kylo Ren from her mind, Rey wrapped her arms around her stomach like she always did when she felt nauseous, convinced as usual that it would somehow help. It didn’t. She still felt absolutely miserable, and now her throat was on fire from having vomited. Internally, she was making the same, solemn vow everyone made after they’d had a bit too much to drink, _I’ll never drink again,_ which she would eventually break when she’d finally forgotten the feeling of this hangover.

It seemed that nothing she did was helping her to feel better, and with a soft grunt - more like a squeak, given her completely _shot_ vocal chords - she rolled over onto her other side, causing a fresh new wave of nausea as her head landed on a new, firm pillow. _Wait,_ that was no pillow.

Her eyes shot open to see that what she was resting on was not, in fact, a comfortable, beige hotel room pillow that the Resistance had paid for, but it was a black tunic made of a familiar looking thick fabric belonging to a man with a rather broad set of shoulders. Around her, she felt an instantly recognizable signature stirring in the force, a strong wave of dark with a significant dusting of light that could only belong to one person. _Oh no._

Swallowing dryly, Rey slowly turned her head up to see if her intuition was right, if her fears were about to be confirmed. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, though it was just as dry, and the action was useless. Nervous habits were hard to kick, she was realizing.

Eventually, she managed to get a look at a familiar, strong jaw line, an aquiline nose, and a scar bisecting it all that belonged to the one man she most certainly should never ever have woken up next to in bed — _especially_ after a night she couldn’t remember shit about — the Supreme Leader of the kriffing First Order. Her heart was absolutely pounding against her chest in perfect time to the ache in her head, but she found that for once she was able to perfectly ignore the feeling of her hangover as she tried to gauge something about what had happened.

The first time she’d ever gotten drunk with Poe Dameron, he’d given her a checklist of things to look for when she woke up after blacking out. Number one on that list was clothes. Was she still wearing all of her clothes? A quick, subtle shift of her body confirmed that Rey was still in her Resistance issue pants, her top — drapings and belt included — was still definitely on, but her arm wraps, shoes, and one sock were missing. It was as if she’d passed out midway through settling in for the night.

That was entirely plausible, she’d done it before while completely sober.

The second thing on Poe’s list was if the person she was laying next to was clothed. Ben was certainly wearing a top, and his arm guards, as a matter of fact, but his pants… She took in a deep, shaky breath, and slowly shifted her leg forward, nudging it against his to see if she felt fabric. The air in her lungs left in a rush when she realized his bottom half was mercifully fully clothed as well, which meant, according to Poe’s rules, that they hadn’t done anything they’d regret. Well, they hadn’t done anything they’d regret to one another’s bodies, he’d corrected himself a moment later when he realized there were many things besides the physical one could come to feel remorse for.

In position number three, she’d already failed miserably. Was the person in her bed friend or foe? Well, he was certainly supposed to be her enemy, but she wasn’t exactly clear on that most days. Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, whoever the hell he was, was a mystery.

That was about where Poe’s list ended, and if it went on, Rey’s brain was too wired and confused to remember it. She’d never woken up in someone’s bed before after all, though upon a further inspection of what little she could see of the room, she was certain the bed was actually hers.

At some point the night before, after their initial argument, apparently she and Kylo had gotten chummy enough that she decided to invite him… into her kriffing bed. Had there really been nowhere else Rey could’ve dumped him? Had she really run out of options to the point where she had to let him flop into bed right beside her?

Did she even want to remember what had happened the night before?

Beneath her, Kylo stirred, a soft groan leaving him that made her think he was starting to wake up, and panic rushed down her spine. Did she pretend she was asleep? Was she supposed to make some kind of escape? What the fuck did she do in this situation? She wasn’t exactly trespassing, this was her bed. She’d been shown to it yesterday by a very kind attendant who’d wished her a pleasant stay in the casino, and apparently she’d shown the supreme leader to it a few hours after that.

Slowly, Rey rolled away from him, somehow managing to get out of the bed, and onto the floor as she headed into the fresher, shutting the door to it behind her before she held herself up on either side of the sleek, black sink it boasted as automatic lights switched on. Another groan of pain attempted to leave her dried throat as the lights burned her eyes, shining more brightly than the crackling lightsabers she and Ben had fought with in the two instances they’d been in battle together.

After some time, her eyes adjusted, and she took her time tilting her head up, and glancing ahead of her. She was panting hard as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, noticing that she looked absolutely rough. Whatever had happened the night before must’ve been something for her hair to have fallen completely out of its three buns and the bags under her eyes to rival those of the man she’d woken up next to.

She shook him from her head again, and immediately turned the water on, splashing some onto her face before she ducked her head beneath the spray to drink from it. Since leaving Jakku, she’d been disappointed to learn that this sort of thing was generally frowned upon, but considering her throat was as dry as the deserts on her home planet, she figured the rules could piss off.

Once she had adjusted herself, Rey pushed away from the mirror, groaning at how her head still ached as she walked out of the fresher, momentarily forgetting about the man in her bed as she opened the door, searching the room for the missing shoes and wraps she’d worn in. She just needed to find her boots and get out of there until she inevitably saw him leave, then she could resume her mission on the planet as she’d discussed with Leia the night before she’d left.

Before the guilt could wash over her at the fact that she’d clearly gone off and had fun that first night instead, another deep groan left the bed, and she froze as she looked over, and saw Kylo’s eyes starting to blink open.

_So much for not getting caught._

It took him a few seconds to register that she was there, but once he did, his eyes went wide, and he was on his feet in an instant, his hand freezing at his side as if he were debating whether or not to reach for the saber still strapped to his side. There were several minutes where they both stood there staring at one another, panting slightly, the whole thing reminding her of the very first time the force had connected them.

“What…?” he started, his mouth continuing to move, but nothing came out as sheer disbelief crossed his face.

“I don’t know,” she said, barely withholding the hiss from her voice. “Care to explain to me why I woke up with _you_ in my hotel room?”

“ _Your_ hotel room?” Kylo asked, then he looked at his surroundings, and realization dawned on his face. “This isn’t…”

“No, this is real.” She nodded her confirmation, then she crossed her arms over her chest, and stepped forward. “So what the _hell_ are you doing in my room?”

“Do you not remember?” he asked, always looking at her with that interest of his that bordered on academic, like he was studying, learning, curious to know the answers while she just sat there fuming. It had been that way the first time the force connected them, and it was like that again now.

Rey tried to contain her rage, crushing her palm into a fist as she took in a deep breath. “No,” she replied tritely. “Do you?”

He shook his head. “You’ll be relieved to know that like you, I have no idea what happened to us last night.”

“I don’t know if I would consider it good,” she said, staring daggers at him as she watched him take a cautious step forward. “It means neither of us knows what happened that led to us _lying in bed together,_ Ben- _Kylo_.”

They both flinched at her slip of the tongue, then in unison, they exhaled slowly. “We must have drank…” He clutched his head as he spoke, as if his hangover were only just affecting him now that he’d had a moment to process what was happening. “We definitely drank too much.”

“Clearly.”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“Walking up to you in a blind rage… reaching for my…” She reached down to her side, feeling for a weapon that was by some miracle, still there. After leaving Crait, she’d managed to repair Luke’s broken saber, which now ran as smoothly as ever despite the damage it had been through. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“You pulling your weapon on me, trying to defend myself, and immediately getting told to take it outside.”

“Oh…” So he did remember more than she did, but not much.

“Yours missing?”

“No, it's here,” she snapped antagonistically, but she quickly lost all train of thought as she watched the hand that had finished patting her entire belt region. Her heart was again _pounding_ against her sternum, threatening to break the bone as she stared down at the foreign object that was on a finger on her left hand. A little golden band now decorated her calloused skin, shining against the pale color she’d earned from her night of too much fun with Kylo Ren, and Rey didn’t know much about rings, but she knew what that one stood for.

Rey was now _married._ But to whom?

Dread filled her as she realized the precise reason why she would wake up with a ring on her finger and a man in her bed. She’d heard stories about Canto Bight in the months since Crait from Rose, who told her all about the glitz and glamor of the planet, about its dark side, and about the much more stupid aspect of its whole business. People tended to get drunk and decide to elope no matter their relationship status, binding themselves together in legal weddings that permanently sealed their names together in a way that was very difficult to undo.

She’d just thought it tended to happen to the foolish, vacationing rich, not the focused Jedi on a mission and the supreme leader of the First Order. “Ben…?” she asked shakily, forgetting his other name for a moment in her panic.

“What?”

“Check your hand,” she said, noticing only just then that he was wearing his gloves still, the leather concealing both of his hands from view, and providing her with one last flicker of hope that her fears hadn’t become reality.

His brows furrowed at her in concern, then she repeated the command with more urgency, and he relented, taking the glove off of the exact hand she needed him to, and revealing his hand to her. Rey’s blood ran cold when she realized that he had a matching golden band wrapped around the same finger hers was on. _Oh no. oh no. Oh no._ “What?”

“Ben... I think we got married last night.”

“You think… _what?_ ” he asked, his voice rising up to a higher pitch than she had ever heard it as he too processed the stunning realization.

Swallowing her pride, Rey clenched her hands into fists, and she walked across the room, getting close enough for him to see her clearly as she raised her ringed hand up by her face. “We’re married.”

Kylo staggered backward, then he looked down at his own hand, and up at her, and his eyes went wider than she’d ever seen as he looked between them. Several seconds went by as she waited for him to say something, unsure of how to proceed with things now that he was her kriffing _husband._ The last Jedi was married to the Supreme Leader of the First Order. The man who had been named the Jedi killer, and there had never been a sweeter contradiction in the history of the universe.

She was fairly certain he was coming to much the same thinking about what this implied. The two people in the galaxy who absolutely should not by all rules and standards ever be married had gotten drunk together — she assumed she’d gotten drunk with him, after all, he was the last memory she had - and then eloped. It should’ve been an impossibility, even drunk, she should never have agreed to marry him, and if the discomfort she could feel in the force — in the bond between them — was anything to go by, he was having exactly the same thought.

“Canto bight,” Kylo murmured, then he turned around, and braced himself against the window, causing Rey to notice it was still dark outside, the only light coming in was from the city below. It lit his silhouette dimly, creating the dark shadow that was the supreme leader as she looked at him. “I had heard stories about people… making impulsive decisions…”

“As had I.”

“But I would never do that myself…” he muttered, shaking his head as he continued staring out into the city below. “At least, I thought…” Seeming exasperated, he pushed himself off of the window, and walked over to sit on the bed.

Rey didn’t know what to say for a moment, she simply stood there, staring at the place he’d been just a second prior. It took ages to come to her. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Neither do I,” he admitted, though he sounded like he was being held hostage at the business end of a saber when he said it. “All marriages here, even the drunken and foolish ones, are done under a legally binding contract. Our names are on a record for anyone to find… If this gets out…”

“We’re screwed, and possibly dead.”

“To put it mildly,” he replied. “We’re on opposing sides of a war, arguably the faces of the First Order and the Resistance. If one of our sides found out about this…”

“It wouldn’t be good,” she answered, then she walked over, and sat down with her back to the window he’d stood at moments earlier. It put her in a more vulnerable position, which she knew damn well she should never put herself in around him, but in that moment, he was in just as much danger as she was. This was a problem they’d created together, and it was going to have to be one they solved together. “How do we handle this, then?”

Kylo scoffed lightly. “I won’t come to your side-“

“I never asked you to.” _Presumptuous ass._

For a micro second he looked absolutely enraged, looked every bit the supreme leader she knew and loathed, but that was gone quickly, replaced by the calmer side of him. The side she’d seen on Ahch To, the one that had comforted her in a hut and told her she wasn’t alone. She missed that man sometimes, missed Ben Solo, but she’d never admit that to him. All she could do was wait for him to see what she had, and Rey was damn good at waiting. “I’m proposing a truce between you and I until we can end this.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “You’re proposing a _what?”_ Vaguely it struck her as amusing that he was proposing to her _after_ they were already married, but she could laugh at that later when they were separated and this was all just done nightmare she could put behind her.

“We need to work together to end this, You and I both agreed to wed at some point last night, and now we both agree we need to end it. For our safety amongst other reasons.”

“I’m glad we can agree on _something_ , I certainly don’t want to be married to you.”

“I don’t wish to be married to you either, sweetheart,” he grumbled, giving an oddly exaggerated scoff. “That’s why I am trying to end it.”

“How do we end it?”

“I don’t know… we need to figure out where we were last night…” Ben put his head into his hands, and Rey realized he was as lost as she was on just what the hell they were supposed to do. How did one handle a situation like theirs?

“How did we even get into a position where I would agree to marry you?” Rey asked, bewildered by the thought. “Even if we managed to push past how angry I am with you personally, did we really get so _plastered_ that we thought, us being us, that this would be a good idea?”

Ben shook his head. “Alcohol makes you susceptible to a lot of things, lowers your inhibitions.”

Rey had only been drunk a handful of times, and even then, she’d never blacked out, but by the way he was talking about his experiences, it certainly sounded like Ben had. But she wasn’t in the mood for a friendly conversation about his past, she wanted to end this marriage, get back to the resistance - which was expecting her later that afternoon, so she hoped they’d be able to end this quickly - and forget it ever happened.

Something told her, no matter how hard she tried, she would always remember what had transpired on Canto Bight.

“We need to make ourselves presentable,” he said, standing up off of the bed, and walking over to the fresher. “And keep a low profile.”

“Agreed, but won’t they notice it’s us?”

“Whoever married us either knows already and thinks it’s a joke, or they had no idea and were just as drunk as we were.” That was entirely possible. Even when Rey had still been sober, she had been hard pressed to find anyone who matched her state and wasn’t falling from their bar stools. Their chances of finding them were instantly slimmed down by that idea, however, and she shuddered to think of it.

“Where do you think we were married?”

“There’s a place in this hotel, some sort of chapel where I’ve heard it’s been done…” He left the door open, taking off his gloves before he splashed water on his face, the whole scene strikingly domestic despite the circumstances.

She blinked at him a few times. “How in the hell would you know that?”

“I’ve been here for a few days…” He answered her, then he wiped his hands on his tunic, and put his gloves back on. “Not that I’m telling you why."

Another roll of her eyes ensued. “I wasn’t expecting you to, you presumptuous _kriffing_ arse.”

Kylo smirked at her as he walked back out of the room. “Already our marriage is going _so_ well,” he said, then he walked around, and gathered his boots from the floor, shoving his feet into them as she watched from where she sat. “You going to put your boots on? I can’t divorce you by myself, scavenger.”

“My name is Rey,” she hissed, then she stood up from the ground, and marched over to him, pointing a finger at his chest. “You used to know that.”

All he gave her initially in response was an angry grunt as he watched her pick up her shoes and things from the floor. A few seconds later, though, he finally seemed to gather himself enough to form a response. “Maybe I would have, if you’d come with me.”

She could have slapped him. “We are _not_ having this discussion right now.” A grunt left her lips as she tugged on a boot, pulling it over her pant leg as she pointedly avoided his gaze. As she reached for the other one, though, the corners of her mouth turned upward ever so slightly. “But you used to know your name, too, Ben Solo.”

But Ben had a quicker wit than she gave him credit for, and when she looked up to meet his eyes, he was smirking again with his arms crossed over his chest. “If I remember my marriage law correctly…” he said slowly, stepping forward, and looking down at the ring on her finger. “That’s your name, too.”

It took all of her restraint not to slap him. All of it. She could sense she was red in the face as she stood up, and marched forward so that she was in his space, unsure of how to proceed from there. They simply stood there for a moment, staring at each other heatedly in the faint light of dawn and Canto Bight’s own glamor as the silence became overwhelming.

An eternity could’ve passed before Rey finally stepped back, and she wouldn’t have noticed, lost in the darkness of his eyes and trying to form little constellations out of the marks on his face. “Wouldn’t it be _Ren_ , if you’re so keen on that name?”

Kylo rolled his eyes, then he turned toward the door. “We’ve wasted enough time arguing. We should be going.”

Groaning, she walked up beside him, the two of them walking side by side on their way out the door. “I couldn’t agree more, I’ve been married to you for only a few hours and I already want you out of my sight.”

“And I want you out of mine!”

“Good!”

“Great!”

While she wanted desperately to argue with him more, there was a sudden humming at her wrist, and she looked down to see her comlink lighting up with a warning of an incoming call. “Kriff,” she muttered angrily, then she stopped walking, hearing Kylo come to a halt a few paces ahead of her as she answered it. “What is it?”

“Oh, wow, you sound rough,” the voice of Poe Dameron teased, sounding as charming as ever. “Did you imbibe in the luxuries of Canto Bight, Jedi?”

“Piss off.”

A raucous round of laughter sounded from the Commander. “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist,” he said, then he cleared his throat. “Did you get what we need?”

“I did,” she replied, then she glanced up at Kylo, who was staring at her in disbelief, probably because she was his enemy and discussing enemy business with one of the few people he probably hated more than her. “But I can’t discuss it right now.”

“Well, you can discuss it in person, we’re pulling you in…”

“What?”

“We found a potential security threat. Might have to—”

Rey held up a hand even though she knew damn well he couldn’t see her. “Poe, I’m going to need to ask you to stop talking immediately, I have company.”

“Bad company?”

“Yes,” she said, locking eyes with Kylo, who was looking very amused as he leaned against a nearby wall. “I’ll meet you at our rendezvous point later, alright?”

He took in a sharp breath, but then she could hear him smiling through the com. “Meet you later, and you’re going to tell Finn and I all about your wild, Canto Bight adventures.”

Giving him a quick dismissal of goodbye, Rey ended their communication with the press of a button, then she walked back into the hotel room swearing loudly. This was the last thing she needed. She was supposed to have another two days there, which she fully intended not to use when she got there, but once the situation with the kriffing Supreme Leader had arisen… She needed those days. Now their investigation would have to leave the planet, and she would have to hide a whole marriage from her closest friends, and… _Kylo’s mother._

Her blood ran cold at the thought of running into Leia, knowing she’d have to hide the fact that she was now _married to her son_ every time she was in a meeting with her. The general was a kind woman, she would honestly probably be thrilled that someone had married her son - but angry that she hadn’t been invited to the wedding - if the circumstances were different. Still the thoughts made her mind dizzy as she grabbed the supply pack the resistance had given her from off a chair near his side of the bed - _no,_ it was her bed, drunk Rey just happened to let him sleep in it. At least they hadn’t gone any further, and at least they hadn’t woken up in each other’s arms. She never would’ve been able to live that down if they had.

But if they were married… They’d definitely kissed, hadn’t they? Rey’s heart thudded in her chest as she realized the implications of a wedding. They’d gotten so plastered together that walls had been torn down, that their hearts had found a way to forgive each other for past transgressions, and feelings that existed maybe deep down in the pits of their stomachs had found their way into the light. She took in a shaky breath as she realized that at some point in the night before, one of them had looked at the other and suggested a marriage, and the other had agreed. It didn’t matter if it was her, or if it was him.

_This was the fault of them both._

Rey raised a hand to her lips, trying to remember if she had ever felt the feeling of his own pressed against them, if they were as soft and full as they looked, if they’d fit against hers like she’d dreamt at one point — _no_.

She couldn’t have those thoughts, they weren’t a luxury she was afforded. Whatever had started to build between the two of them, he’d killed when he’d tried to offer her the First Order instead of the lives of her friends. It was his fault that they stood where they were now, and thus his fault that they had wound up accidentally married on Canto Bight.

“I’m so sorry,” she said out loud, finding her voice for the first time in minutes as she felt his presence at the doorway. “I want to find a way to end this, I do… But they’ll be more suspicious if I try to stay.”

“Rey, we can’t investigate this from different sides of the galaxy.”

“We’re going to have to, Ben,” she said, wincing at the slip of his old name again as she walked forward. “Please, understand it will be that much more difficult for us if you try to stop me from leaving.”

He shook his head, moving out of the doorway. “I wasn’t planning to.”

“You’re just going to let me go?”

“We have a deal,” he explained, his expression sober as she walked out of the room, and turned to face him. “As long as this marriage is… active… we have a truce.”

Rey’s breathing continued to shudder thanks to the light tremble that ran through her entire body, and she swallowed as she gave him a nod. “I suppose we’ll just have to discuss it when the force… connects us…” she said, remembering the second time it had ever done so, when he’d appeared at the edge of Ahch To’s freezing water, just beyond the spray and asked her why it continued to do that very thing.

She tried not to think about that moment, tried desperately not to think of the almost nostalgia she felt for that brief time on the island that had led to one of the only times in her life where she hadn’t felt completely alone. To where they’d fought back to back and side by side; having complete trust in one another despite all the odds saying they shouldn’t have it.

By some miracle, she managed to succeed.

“So at some point tonight, then? Probably when one of us is in a state of undress?” he asked, providing her with what she could almost mistake for a smile.

The one she gave him in return was completely involuntary, and she would swear that on her life. “Probably. Make sure you keep a cowl on hand,” she said, then he let out a noise that was definitely a laugh, or at least a hint of one, causing her to blush. “We’ll discuss this later,” she added with a more business-like tone, turning around to hide the red coloring her cheeks. “Supreme Leader.”

“Goodbye, Rey,” he said, but she didn’t look back as she walked down the long corridor of the hotel, and made her exit from the building just as the sun was rising.

The ride back was quiet. The moment Poe picked her up outside of the city in an illegally obtained TIE, he was asking her questions. “So what do you remember?”

“Nothing much,” she answered him as she glanced down at the ring on her finger, trying to conjure up some place to hide it. “I had a few drinks, I danced with people… Lights out.”

A warm chuckle left the commander. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me… But… I’ve got the feeling you want to…” he said, guiding them up out of the planet’s atmosphere, where they would soon meet with the Falcon before disappearing into Hyperspace. “I know we don’t know each other too well, but you can trust me.”

_Not with this. I can’t trust anyone with this._

Instead of voicing her thoughts, she just gave him a smile as she finally found a good hiding place for her ring, slipping it silently off of her finger, and tucking it into the folds of her breast band before replying, “I know,” which he seemed satisfied with, since he left her alone for the remainder of their journey back to the Resistance’s new base.

That night, Rey tossed and turned in her bunk, groaning as she tried to sleep, but unconsciousness continued to evade her like it had been given the mission from General Organa herself. A few hours into this ceaseless tossing and turning, she sighed, and reached into her pillowcase for her wedding ring— she’d hidden it in there after she dressed for the night — still unable to believe all that had happened.

The gold band glinted in the dim light, seeming to stare at her as if it had a soul. She was married. She had a husband. Her husband was Kylo kriffing Ren. All those things were facts, and yet it was still so hard to believe them.

As if she’d somehow managed to summon the object of her thoughts, there was a soft humming noise, then the bond activated, and she felt his presence on the bed beside her. She opened her mouth to make some sort of joke about his timing, but then she heard the faintest snore in the whole galaxy. It was so soft, so quiet, she almost thought she’d imagined it, but no, she hadn’t.

Rey turned over in her bed slowly, careful not to wake what she suspected was a sleeping Ben Solo — _Kylo —_ as she moved. Upon successfully turning over, she realized her initial assumption about his state of being was right. His eyelids were closed, but his eyes moved behind them as he dreamed silently, his chest rising and falling in even beats. He looked so peaceful like this, as if all of the things that haunted him had happened to someone else. The only sign that it was him who had gone through all of those things was the scar bisecting his face, the one she’d given to him months ago.

Like she’d been in the hut the night she’d sat with him by the fire, Rey was tempted to reach out and touch him, to caress his cheek, to stroke his hair. She only just refrained from doing so, and instead closed her eyes, finding sleep came easier for some reason as she laid beside her husband in their force induced connection, which she supposed was a good thing. If they were going to be married, for however short a time, they ought to be able to share a bed. Even Kylo, who was already at peace, seemed to radiate a more calm aura beside her as he slept, his warmth calming her in turn as they slowly fell asleep together.

They were going to need all the rest they could get if they were going to survive working through this _together._


	2. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, here's another one. Later dudes.

 

Rey woke up the next morning — well, twenty minutes later — to find that the force was rudely still connecting them. Not only that, but the force had decided she was the big spoon. Her body was tucked up against the back of his in a perfect fit, her face nestled into the back of his neck, so close that she could feel his soft, silky hair brushing up against her with every breath she took. 

For a moment, she was frozen, unsure of what to do on this second morning that she woke up in bed with him, though at least this time it wasn’t because of a drunken parade. Unfortunately, the consequences of said drunken parade were still to be dealt with. The worst part was, she could have dealt with them easily. 

As it turned out, the reason Rey had been pulled in early from her mission — which had simply been to trade information on the first order for money — was because they had thought the first order had somehow surmised their location. This was quickly realized to be false, but not before the order had been sent out to retrieve the jedi from the field, and end her mission. 

When she found out about it, she’d been fuming, and it on top of all the other reasons she had to lie awake at night combined to create a perfect recipe for a thorough lack of sleep. 

Still she wondered just what in the last — it couldn’t have been more than thirty — several minutes she could have possibly done in her sleep to render herself in this position. The force had never connected them for this long, the longest they’d been connected before this was ten minutes, but she’d noticed with a sinking feeling of both dread and delight in her chest that each time was starting to get a little longer than the last. 

She was quickly realizing that the proper thing to do would’ve been to let go of him immediately, but how she would manage to do that without waking him was a whole other question she didn’t know the answer to. They were not terribly tangled up in each other, but Rey certainly had one hand fisting his curls and an arm draped over his waist, the hand attached to it gripping at his sleep shirt’s thin fabric while one of his rested over it—  _ holy shit _ .

It was no longer just that she was holding him, but he was holding her as well. His bare fingers were wrapped firmly around hers, and she could feel the hard metal of his wedding band pressing against her knuckle.  _ He’s still wearing it _ .

Her thoughts quickly turned back to her own ring, placed back beneath her pillow upon her realizing he was in her bed when she’d fallen asleep, and she slowly unwound her fingers from his hair, reaching beneath her own head until she found her ring, and again she held it in front of her. She could barely see it in the dim light, and she wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to do with it now that it was in her hands, but Rey was more than content to just hold it and think. 

They were really married, and there wasn’t much she could think of that could have possibly been more dangerous. If she were being honest, she’d started to harbor feelings for him back on Ahch To, when he’d said the right things to her at exactly the right moment, comforting her in ways she had desperately needed to be comforted, but she’d put them on hold after their battle on the Supremacy. She had to, or else her interests would’ve conflicted too greatly. She cared about Ben, but as long as he was the supreme leader, that would have to wait. 

If their marriage was discovered, though, by either of their opposing sides… Poe Dameron had quickly grown to love her like a sister, inviting her into his easy going friendship with Finn and Rose like he’d already known her for years, but the man  _ hated _ Kylo. On top of that, he was fiercely loyal to the Resistance, the cause was his life, if she was discovered by him, could she really trust he wouldn’t turn on her?

And then there was Finn, who had run from the first order on a mission he’d been on  _ with _ Kylo. He probably wouldn’t take too kindly to her situation either, but he was also more loyal to his friends than he was to any cause. If he were to find out about it, all she’d have to worry about is keeping him from spilling his guts to their commander. 

Rose was also fiercely loyal to the resistance, but unlike Poe, she was not in a position of power, and she also was significantly more easy going. She tended to dislike things, and occasionally pass judgement, but she was always supportive. If Rose found out, it wouldn’t be so bad.

If people on his side found out, though, Rey had heard quite a few things about the man Poe liked to call General Hugs. The First Order’s General was dangerous, probably the only other person besides Kylo who’d ever gotten remotely close to Snoke, and the most staunchly loyal toward his cause above all. Hux would not hesitate to shoot anyone who got in his way, and at one point during a meeting he’d been put on the Resistance’s watch list as most likely to throw a coup. 

Hux finding out would endanger Kylo in ways she didn’t want to think about. 

For now, this was their secret, one they’d have to take to their graves if they continued to remain on opposing sides as they were.  _ What the hell were they thinking? _

Something must’ve shifted between them that night —  _ last night  _ — that caused them to grow close enough that they’d agreed to legally seal their names together. It was entirely possible, though, and far more likely, that they hadn’t thought of that at all, and in their drunken bliss they’d found something that resembled some sort of love, and fallen into one another through that. 

Maybe she did care for Kylo, but she wasn’t quite sure in what way yet. She certainly didn’t want to figure it out through a marriage that endangered them both; one that they couldn’t even remember. Rey wished she could recall the wedding, not just the events that led up to it. There was so much more to that night than she knew, than they  _ both _ knew. It would just take time and the will of the force, whatever tricks it might’ve had up its sleeve.

Kylo shifted in her arms then, interrupting her thoughts, and she slipped the ring back under the pillow as his hand tightened its grip on hers in sleep, and he grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. She barely withheld a snort of laughter at the realization that Kylo Ren talked in his sleep, but somehow she managed to stay silent, and as a result he slept on, blissfully unaware that she was awake and had noticed such a thing. 

Again it occurred to her that she ought to try and remove herself from him, but Rey found herself getting quickly pulled back into the clutches of sleep, and instead opened her mouth in a silent yawn. Her eyes began to drift shut soon after that, and that drowsy, comfortable warmth that always accompanied sleep filled her body as she once again fell asleep in bed beside Kylo — beside her  _ husband  _ — managing to at last fall into a peaceful, dream filled sleep. 

When she woke up with the rising sun, he was gone. She noticed his absence before she even opened her eyes, and briefly chastised herself for mourning the loss of the warmth beside her. They needed to end the marriage between them, and that meant she needed to  _ not _ be thinking about holding him as they slept at night. It wasn’t like she was actually in love with him and their Canto Bight kriffing wedding  _ meant _ anything. 

It was a mistake, a drunken, foolish mistake, and she needed to remember that. 

Rey groaned as she opened her eyes, grateful that she wasn’t waking up with another hangover as she slowly sat up in bed, and glanced out the window at the planet beyond. Despite being gone from Jakku for more than four months now, she still had yet to grow tired of seeing different landscapes. The planet on which their base was currently located had been one of her favorites yet. Mountains rose high in the distance, snow-capped peaks causing the sun to reflect beautiful beams of light from them that made the entire world seem brighter somehow. A lush, green forest that could only be rivaled by Takodana grew from the bottom of the mountains, stretching out all the way down to the base, shrouding it in its infinite, green majesty. 

It was a miracle she could even see the land beyond at all, but she supposed her bunk being positioned in the exact spot in which there was a brief, two hundred meter break in the trees was a wonderful convenience. 

Unfortunately, this wasn’t a morning she had time to think about it. First thing after breakfast she was to attend a meeting with the General —  _ her mother in law _ — about what had happened on Canto Bight, a mission which she would be omitting quite a few details from. 

Yawning loudly, she walked over to the small wardrobe they’d placed in her bunk — standard issue, really, they had it in every bunk — and pulled open the sleek, black doors. All she had in there were various earth toned fabrics, but seeing them all laid out like that — much less seeing more than just the same one every day — was still dizzying to her. 

The Resistance was far from a charmed, perfect life, but it was more than she’d ever had in the desert. To Rey, this was riches from rags, and she’d never been more grateful to another group of people in her entire existence. 

For reasons she could not, and would not dare to explain, Rey picked out darker colors that day, opting for a bit more of a black and gray version of her usual ensemble, then she reached in and grabbed a spare piece of string from the back of the wardrobe. She dressed, then walked over to her pillowcase, and took the ring out from inside of it, looping the string through it before tying it around her neck, and burying it beneath the layers of her clothing. 

People walked in and out of rooms day in day out on the base. No room was truly private, and hers was no exception. She didn’t want to run the risk of a droid coming in to take her sheets for a wash and have the ring discovered. If she and Ben were going to keep this quiet, they were going to have to keep the rings on them at all times. He had his gloves, and she was just going to have to wear a necklace. 

Her heart raced in her chest as she grabbed her lightsaber from her nightstand, and clipped it onto her belt. “Okay,” she whispered to herself, fighting the weird urge to grip the ring for comfort as she strode out of her bunk, and into the hallways. 

Every time she passed another person — which there weren’t many of, their numbers were still down significantly after Crait — she felt like she had the secret plastered clear as day on her face. Rey had only been flustered notably one other time in her life, when the force had connected them while he’d been half naked, and she’d had to fight everything in her being not to look. 

That morning as she headed into the commissary, the jedi kept her head down until the moment she was sitting down with a tray of food, praying she was early enough for no one to notice that she was there. Of course, the force worked in mysterious ways, and not even a minute later came her first test in secret keeping. 

Rose Tico slid into the seat across from Rey with a bright smile on her face and a perky greeting in her voice that took three repetitions for her to register. “You okay?” was the first thing that actually managed to make any sense to her, and finally she blinked herself out of her comatose state of panic, her eyes snapping up to meet her friend’s.

“ _ Kriff, _ sorry,” she replied, leaning back in her seat while she took a sip of her caff, not even tasting it she was still so out of it. “What’s going on?”

“I was trying to ask you how Canto Bight went?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Was it as terrible as I said it was?”

_ Worse.  _ “It was…” She sighed, then a thought popped into her head, and she gave a false laugh. “I honestly can’t say.”

“Why?”

“I was…” She leaned forward, and lowered her voice. “I can’t remember a damn thing. I blacked out.”

“You  _ drank? _ ”

Rey pulled back, surprised. “What? Is that so hard to believe?” It shouldn’t have been. She’d gotten drunk with Rose, Poe, and Finn a couple of times since they’d all bonded after Crait, certainly the idea of a drunken jedi couldn’t be that foreign. 

Rose shook her head. “No, I just mean… On Canto Bight? Really?”

“I don’t even remember my decision to drink, Rose, I was…” She ran a hand nervously through her hair—tied up in a simple half up, half down style, like she’d worn since the fight on the supremacy — hoping her anxiety wasn’t as plain as she thought it was. “Very drunk… I… I don’t normally do that, but...”

There was a moment of silence after that, and she could feel the smaller woman’s eyes on her, as if they were staring into her soul. “You met someone, didn’t you?” Rose asked knowingly, then Rey’s eyes went wide of their own accord, betraying the true answer before she even thought to lie. “Did you sleep with a stranger, Rey?”

She was already caught, the only saving grace being that there was no way for Rose to know who she’d been with, and as long as she didn’t tell her the identity of the man she slept with, she’d probably be okay. Wouldn’t she? But she could trust her friend, she would keep a secret, and she was going to need someone to talk to other than Kylo about this situation, they were going to need someone to help, and Rose was a smart woman. If anyone would be capable of helping them to annul their marriage, it would be her. 

“I might have…” she said quietly, then she lowered her voice even more. “Listen, I need you not to react to what I’m telling you… and I need to tell you in the private, understand?”

“Are you sure you’re allowed to tell me anything about the mission? I know Poe wanted it kept quiet.”

“Poe can’t know about this part of it,” Rey insisted, then she held out her hand. “Can I trust you?”

An apprehensive look was shot her way, but without questioning her, Rose shook her hand, then gave her a firm nod. “You can,” she replied, her expression drawing neutral as she spoke. “We should finish eating, then. There’s a meeting in twenty minutes, if you’re gonna tell me anything, it’s gotta be fast.”

Humming in response, Rey raised her caff to her lips, and chugged the remnants, then she shoved her food into her mouth as quickly as her body would allow her to. Swearing quietly under her breath, Rose joined her, and soon enough the two were rushing out of the hall. They walked through the base until she found a spare room that had probably once been used for briefings, but was currently empty save for a few old chairs, and an ancient holo-projector table at the center. 

By the time they got there, though, Rose was more than a little out of breath, and she crossed her arms bitterly over her chest. “Now that you’ve made me run halfway across the base, would you mind telling me what the hell is so important that you have to hide it from—?”

Rey didn’t give her the opportunity to finish that sentence. She tugged on the string that held her wedding ring on the end, and exposed the gold band to the air. There was a moment of sheer quiet, then it finally seemed to register just what she was being shown. 

“Oh…” Rose breathed, walking forward to inspect the ring. She took the tiny little troublemaker into her hands, inspecting it carefully. “Rey… what happened in Canto Bight?”

“That needs to stay in Canto Bight,” she replied, then Rose cocked her head to the side, giving her that disappointed, but insistent look that said she wouldn’t back down until Rey spilled her guts. “I got married.”

“I can see that,” Rose said sarcastically, then she splayed her palms out in front of her. “But to whom? Do you even know?”

Again, Rey’s eyes widened involuntarily, giving her away as Rose’s widened in turn. “You do know… Who is it?”

“I need you to promise not to shout when I tell you.”

“Why? Do I know them?” Rose asked, then Rey bit her lower lip, and the other woman’s eyebrows shot up into her bangs. “I  _ do _ .”

“You haven’t met him, but you know who he is…” Rey replied, suddenly uncertain about telling Rose the identity of the man she was now married to. No one knew about the bond between herself and Kylo yet, was it even possible to explain their marriage and how she was going to need help without explaining the bond? Surely such a thing was possible, she’d just have to be careful, and stop giving herself away. 

This time the lie did make itself known to her before she was interrupted by her own involuntary reactions. Everyone knew by that point that she’d gone to the Supremacy to try and turn Kylo to the light, Rose, the General, Chewie, and Finn even knew that she hadn’t been the one to kill Snoke. It wouldn’t be so bad if she spun the lie that they’d managed to bond a little bit in that time and perhaps that was how they might’ve recognized each other if she had to. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, though.  _ Hopefully. _

“Now I’m even more confused. Do I even know what he looks like?”

_ You’ve seen him in meetings. He’s been on holos, images, data… you’ve seen him.  _

Rey nodded slowly. “Yeah, you do,” she replied, then she steeled herself, resting her arms at her side as she looked her in the eyes.”He’s in the first order?”

“Who do I know in the first order? And why would you—?” 

“It’s Kylo Ren.”

Rose stumbled backward, her hand seeking purchase on the back of one of the room’s abandoned chairs as she stared at Rey in complete and utter shock. “It’s  _ who?” _

“Kylo Ren…”

“You married _ the Supreme Leader? _ How kriffing drunk were you?” Rose shouted, and Rey quickly rushed forward to shush her, resting a palm carefully over her friend’s mouth as she gave her a look insisting how urgent it was that she shut up immediately. 

“I know, I know, I don’t know how it happened, but it did…” She rested her other hand on her head as she processed the news again for herself, then she reached down, and tucked her wedding band back into the shirt. “And now I need your help to end it. We can’t do this by ourselves.”

_ “We?”  _ Rose squeaked from behind Rey’s hand.

Another nod was given. “We agreed to put a truce between the two of us until we can figure out a way to end this.” She slowly removed her hand, certain now that her friend wouldn’t raise hell over her secret. “He woke up before I could leave. We… we had a talk. We were going to try to put an end to it in the casino, but… Poe pulled me out early, and I didn’t know how to explain to him that I needed time… It was all so sudden.”

“And Ren just  _ let you go?” _

Rey blinked a few times, trying to find a way to make her friend understand. “He had to. Kylo… This puts him in as much danger as it puts me.”

“If people find out you got married…” Rose breathed, realizing a number of things. “They could use it against you. The First Order could kill him, and there are people on this base who would kill you even if they knew it was a drunken mistake… Cause drunk or not… It means you got close enough to him to…”

“I know…” Rey walked over to one of the other chairs, and sat down. “And the First Order could use that to make me a target, and thus make all of you a target. This… absolutely cannot leave this room. I just need you to help me end this sham of a marriage, and… forget it ever happened after that, alright?”

Hesitation washed over Rose’s small frame, then she walked over to Rey, and held out her hand. “Okay, I’ll help you, just as long as you promise me this was an accident, and there’s nothing more going on.”

There was the tiniest, fraction of a second as Rey paused in her answer, knowing that there was, in fact, a small something going on, but she needed Rose’s help desperately. Lying was going to have to be a part of their deal. “There’s nothing more going on. Just… help me end this.” Rose gave her another firm nod, then she reached out, and shook her hand, relief flooding through her at the knowledge that she had an ally. 

“Okay, now we really have to go. They’re gonna be suspicious if we miss the meeting.”

“Right…” Rey said, then the two women walked out of the spare room, hearts heavy with the biggest secret the war had yet to wage on either side. 

The meeting managed to pass with ease, even despite the presence of her kriffing mother in law. Leia remained blissfully unaware of Rey’s internal crisis, or more accurately, she never showed any awareness on the outside. Internally, there was no telling what the General was thinking. She was force sensitive, a Skywalker by blood, if not by name, and her daughter in law had seen it in action the day that Luke sacrificed himself to save them all. They’d both felt his passing, both a little shaken but hopeful in their newfound safety just before they’d left Crait. 

“Thanks to Rey’s efforts on Canto Bight, we’ve secured the funds to fuel our ships, however few we may have at the moment,” Leia was saying as the woman she mentioned was brought back to reality, if only for a few seconds. “With the remaining amount… we need to work on continuing to find others who support our cause. I don’t need to tell you how poorly our numbers are still dwindling.”

Poe said something after that, but Rey wasn’t listening anymore, she was too distracted by the increasing heat of her ring as it was warmed by her body temperature. Every time Leia’s eyes locked onto hers, it felt as if the General was reading her mind. She’d never felt more nervous in the entire time she’d been with the Resistance, and by the time the meeting was over, she was practically bursting to get out of there. 

Once the General finally made the call for dismissal and to be on alert until further notice, Rey was out of that room, fully intending to head down the base halls to the room she’d transformed into her own personal training area, when she was stopped by the one person she prayed wouldn’t notice her. “Rey? May I see you for a moment?” Leia asked softly, her voice kinder than it usually was, less stern, like it had been when they talked about Luke’s death. 

Heart hammering against her chest, Rey slowly turned around, and gave her a nod. “Of course.”  _ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.  _ She was busted; she had to be, there was no other reason Leia could possibly want her lingering back, was there?

“Are you alright? I noticed you during that meeting, you seemed off,” she said, the concern in her voice sounding almost motherly in a way that she hadn’t heard in anyone aside from her before. 

“Off?”

“Aloof, inattentive, and you looked nervous when I’ve never seen you scared,” the general replied, and again she felt as if the other woman could read her mind and see into her soul. “What’s troubling you?”

“Nothing… I’m just distracted…” Rey knew that excuse was absolutely bull shit and only warranted more questions than it answered, but her ability to lie, to think quick on her feet, to use her survival instincts was rendered null around the general. At least, it was now that she was married to her kriffing son. 

A grown grew on Leia’s face. “I’m starting to get the impression you don’t want to tell me,” she said, then she sighed, and took a step back. “Go on, it's up to you when you decide to tell me what’s going on. You know where to find me.”

“Yes, General,” she replied, then she picked up her pace in a swift, and urgent exit from the meeting room. 

Rey resumed her course toward the training room, forcing herself to keep her eyes forward instead of downcast. If she was going to play this lie believably, she’d have to start working on her acting skills. Before this situation with Kylo had arisen, she fancied herself a decent liar, using whatever she could to get what she wanted or needed, but something about this situation, about the dangers and feelings it raised to the table made her uneasy. She was on edge, distracted in ways she hadn’t been in years, since she had first been adjusting to her life on Jakku, a time which she could barely even remember in the first place. 

She wished she knew how she’d gotten over it in the present; wished more than anything she could figure out a way to move past her distracted state. 

Things turned out so that she managed to be more distracted than she had when she’d made the decision to try not to be. Rey was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear the familiar vibrations of their connection starting, and it wasn’t until his footsteps were marching beside her that she noticed he was there. “I can’t do this now,” she whispered as they walked past an officer carrying a holo-pad, remaining blissfully unaware that his enemy was walking within inches of him. 

“Neither can I,” he said, his voice equally quiet as they rounded a corner together. She wondered where he was that their bases — though she suspected  _ he  _ was actually on a ship — wound up having hallways of similar lengths, but didn’t have too long to dwell on it as he spoke again. “But we need to talk.”

He was right, she knew he was, and so she slowly nodded, hoping he could see it. It would seem that he did, since he mimicked the gesture in turn out of the corner of her eye. Kylo took in a slow breath. “I’m about thirty paces from being clear. What about you?” 

“I have no idea, there isn’t anyone in the hall at the moment,” she told him, then she turned around, relieved to find there was no one behind her as well. “Thirty paces sounds fine.”

“Perfect, we’ll talk then.”

Not another word was spoken between them as they walked the thirty paces to where kylo declared they’d be safe, and Rey was relieved to find that the location was good for her as well, since it led to a little outdoor deck that overlooked the distant forest. He’d undoubtedly feel the breeze in the air, but his supreme ass could deal with a little chill. 

“Are we outside?” he asked the moment she shut the door behind them, listening to their security system beep as the lock engaged. 

“We are,” she replied, then before he could say anything else, she put a hand up. “Have you been able to find anything?”

Kylo shook his head, and she sighed with disappointment, but to be fair to him, she hadn’t found anything either. “I’ve been meaning to try and pull security footage from the casino— to see if I can find out what happened —“

“Why haven’t you?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, sweetheart, half of our predicament is because of  _ my  _ position within the First Order,” he muttered, sounding bitter as he turned toward his wife. “I don’t have time to myself anymore.”

Rey put her hands up again, then she groaned, and turned away from him again, placing her palms against the deck’s thick, concrete railing. “I can do it,” she said, thinking back to just before the meeting when she’d confessed her secret to Rose. “I have a friend who’s technically inclined, I’ll talk to her about getting that footage.”

“How will you explain to her why you need it?”

_ Oh, kriff.  _ She was going to have to tell him Rose knew, wasn’t she? Their alliance was unsteady enough, the rings they’d placed on their fingers, and a promise sealed with a kiss neither of them could remember the only thing preventing them from making war moves on each other. At least, it should’ve been, but she hadn’t seen Ben try even once since this had started to formulate an attack. Ever since the bond had been started, he’d never once looked at her viciously or with cruelty in his eyes, not even when she was leaving him behind on Crait. “Someone knows, I needed an ally, so I found someone I trusted, and… I’ve told her what happened.”

Kylo stared at her blankly. “You  _ what? _ ” He asked, but his voice was soft, not loud with rage like she’d expected. That may have been because he needed to keep his voice down, but there had been only one time when he’d ever yelled in her direction, and it was when he was begging her to join him. “Why?”

“Because we need help, Ben, we need someone on our side,” she told him, resisting the urge to turn to him, and take his hand in hers. They’d never held hands before they were married, there was no reason to start now, even if she had woken up that morning with him wrapped thoroughly in her arms. That had been an accident, and it wouldn’t be happening again. “We can’t do this by ourselves.”

Kylo looked at her apprehensively, but slowly came to his senses, and released a tense exhale of breath. “Fine, whatever gets us closer to ending this.”

“That’s fine by me, too.”

“Good.”

“Great,” she muttered, then they fell into an awkward silence that was only drowned out by the sound of distant birds chirping in the dense forest. 

After a while, Kylo shuffled on his feet, and she felt him standing at her side, looking out into the great beyond of whatever he could see on his end. For a moment it almost felt like they were actually standing there together staring out at the distance like they were true allies, and she was almost able to pretend that was reality. Just for a few precious seconds she envisioned a world where he’d come with her on the Supremacy instead of asking her to rule with him. Where the two were on the same side, friends, partners, or perhaps even one day married honorably and with their full memories of the occasion instead of a drunken casino wedding between two people whose lives were now in danger because of their mistake. 

But dreams, especially in the light of day, were always quickly revealed to be an illusion. Another couple of seconds later, he spoke again. “Have you had difficulty hiding it?”

“Hiding it?”

“Our… our marriage, Rey.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “Only emotionally,” she admitted, then she spared him a glance. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Has it been difficult for you?”

Kylo’s dark, soulful eyes turned on her, then, and his gaze told her everything he didn’t quite manage to say. “This won’t be easy, we need to be quick about ending it.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” she replied, then she slid her hand in his direction just a fraction of an inch on the railing. “Ben…” 

Whatever she was going to say, she never got the chance. The force, rude as ever, decided they’d talked for long enough, and he faded quickly in front of her eyes. She swore quietly under her breath, but quickly resigned herself to the change in situation. The conversation was over, and she had a marriage to end. Gathering her emotions, Rey undid the lock on the door without even touching it, and walked back into the base to find Rose. 


	3. A Series of Firsts

Ten minutes later, Rey was pacing back and forth behind Rose while she typed away, searching file after file on Canto Bight for any sign of the security footage both women were fully aware the casino most definitely had. The ring on her necklace hung hauntingly around her neck, a reminder of the potentially fatal wedding she couldn’t remember, but she was too distracted to notice it.

All she could think about was that last conversation with Kylo and the tension that had brewed between them… He’d been so close to her and for some reason that had sent her mind into a tailspin. As much as she tried to push those thoughts from her mind, it never seemed to work. He was becoming a constant fixture in her mind, rooting himself deep in the hallows of her subconscious

Normally she wasn’t nervous or jittery, but this situation… On top of the anxiety she had about potentially getting caught, there was another underlying anxiety about what would happen to him. They were enemies who had declared a truce, but still if things went badly his way… She wasn’t certain she’d be able to live with herself. Oddly enough, she cared for him, but she wasn’t sure exactly how.

“I think I found something,” Rose said after a minute, and Rey was at her side in an instant, her pacing forgotten as she knelt down beside her friend, watching as she tapped something on the screen, and suddenly a very angry, but still sober couple appeared on screen, weapons drawn in preparation for a fight. They began to swing at one another, sparks flying as people near them began to run for their safety, and as she watched security quickly ran out, pointing blasters at them both.

There was no audio on the tape, but they both decided to withdraw their weapons, and holster them back at their sides as they were escorted away from the deck. It appeared that they were outdoors, and as Rose switched from one camera to another, the two of them walked inside with bitter expressions on their faces. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but they were most certainly bickering. It was unmistakable in the way they were standing, walking, and the obscene gesture she threw him about midway into their walk through the casino.

The gesture made her snort quiet laughter. At least sober Rey, as usual, still had common sense. They walked through the casino, still bickering until they got closer to the end. Rose had to switch cameras three more times before they finally found something worthy of investigation. By the time they were walking through one door into the next, the bickering seemed to have quieted down, though the two were still visibly tense around one another. Kylo gestured toward something she couldn’t see on the tape, and Rey nodded, following him off of the screen.

“Where’s the next camera?” Rey asked the moment she and her husband disappeared from visibility. “I need to know what happened after that.”

“I know, but…” Rose touched the hologram a few times, searching desperately for what her friend needed. “I can’t find it. They must’ve labeled it under a different name, since it’s a different room.”

“What about schematics of the casino? Can you at least tell me where it was we went?”

“I can probably do both.” Another minute passed, then soon enough a map of the casino’s interior appeared on the screen in the form of bright outlines that were — thankfully — labeled. “Beyond the casino is the… oh no.”

“What?” Rey asked curiously.

All Rose did in response was point to what she was looking at. Rey’s face fell when she realized that what she and Kylo had apparently _agreed_ to walk into was a kriffing bar. That must’ve been where it all changed… where everything finally started to go either really well, or completely to the south. It depended on how she looked at it.

Whatever they’d done, they must’ve managed to work out the many, many issues between them long enough to agree to a marriage, and it must’ve somehow led to… some sort of romance… Even drunk Rey didn’t think she’d be the type to think about it as an excuse to get Kylo into bed. After all, they’d woken up with all their clothes on, they hadn’t slept together, not in _that_ sense of the word, at least. No, whatever it was that had led them to get married, it was much more genuine than the reasons people typically did such things. Something had happened between them, and it frustrated her more than anyone could know to not remember what.

“Kriff,” she breathed after a while, then she sat back on her heels, and buried her head in her hands. “I mean, I suppose it’s obvious we wound up there eventually… But… It’s odd to see it happen.”

“It’s a weird situation, Rey,” Rose told her, turning around in her chair to rest a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. “But what exactly happened in Canto Bight? That you can remember.”

A wave of distress washed over her as she thought over how it had felt to wake up in that hotel room with no memory of what had happened and a man in her bed whom she had such intense conflicting feelings about it was almost impossible to tell just what she felt for him. “We saw each other, I was angry… and then I woke up in bed with him…”

Rose’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t…”

Rey shook her head vehemently. “No! Force, no!” she cried. “I’ve never… No! We… we were fully clothed when we woke up. Both of us were.”

There was almost a hint of a smirk on Rose’s face, but she didn’t protest her friend’s statement. “Okay, I believe you, but now…” She didn’t get to finish that sentence. At that moment, they could hear voices sounding from outside the hallway, likely heading into this room to use the device they were most certainly not supposed to be using. Especially not to track down how one of the Resistance’s biggest heroes had wound up married to the Supreme Leader. That would be a fun thing to explain, and it would surely land both of them in prison. Leia could be forgiving, sure, but even she could not defend Rey from the entire Resistance.

“Kriff!” Rey muttered, then Rose set to work on closing down everything they’d opened up, and the two women made for the door, darting out into the hallway before anyone could realize what they’d been doing. Without a word, they crossed one hall into another, just as the voices of the men speaking rounded the corner, and Rey pulled Rose by her side as they watched Poe and Finn walk by, talking animatedly. They were so lost in each other, that neither man looked down the hall that Rey and Rose had rushed into, and both women let out a long sigh of relief once they were in the clear.

“That was too close,” Rose replied, then she shrugged. “I mean, they weren’t even going in there, but…”

“They could have been,” Rey finished, then she crossed her arms over her chest. “If we’re going to do that again, we’re going to need to come when no one is around.”

All she got in response was a nod, then Rose sighed, and the two of them began to walk down the hall. “Once we figure out where you two got married, we should be able to find a way to annul the marriage. I’m thinking we could probably sneak in there after hours and get another look at that footage.”

Through her life, Rey had always been an independent soul. She’d never relied on anyone to help her get through things, and prefered to work alone, but she had never been more grateful toward another person than she was to Rose in that moment. The smaller woman was saving her life one second at a time, and it was a miracle she had survived for so long without Rose Tico. A broad smile crossed her face, and she rested a hand on Rose’s arm. “Agreed, meet me back here after the evening shift begins?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here,” the smaller woman said, then she walked off down the hallway, leaving Rey to her own devices.

Once alone, Rey decided to do what she’d initially set off to before she’d run into Kylo, and made her way to the training room with her lightsaber hilt clutched firmly in one hand. The hours passed as she fought the various, unfortunate bots that the Resistance had manufactured to suit its soldier’s needs, rendering them all to pieces as she moved through the forms she’d learned from her time in her husband’s mind.

A part of her found it odd and weirdly comforting to refer to him by that title, and she ignored the butterflies that stirred in her gut every time she thought about the ring on his finger when his hand had held hers that morning when she’d awoken. It was an impossibility for them to be married, and yet it had somehow come to be. Frustration filled her as she slashed through another red painted bot, rendering it completely useless as she moved throughout the room; a tornado of vicious, pure intent.

She wished she’d known what he’d said to her to get her to agree to drink with him, the mistake that had started this whole thing in the first place. If she said she didn’t have theories, she’d be wrong, but all of them felt more out of place than the last. None of what happened on Canto Bight made a lick of sense, and as she slashed through the last of the bots, she wondered if it ever would.

Rey fell to her knees with the metallic clang of the final bot’s collapse, her saber deactivating as she clutched her thighs with it still in her hand, breathing hard as adrenaline continued pulsing through her system. A swear left her mouth in one of the languages she’d picked up on Jakku as she pulled the necklace out of her shirt, and stared at the ring that bound her to Kylo Ren in the most intimate way it was possible for two people to be bonded.

One tiny piece of jewelry had already caused them this much trouble. It was so small it could fit around her slim finger, and it had the potential to cost them both their lives. She’d had a day now, but she was still having trouble wrapping her head around the idea of the marriage, the wedding, and lack of her memory.

There wasn’t anything more she could do about it, though unless she got the chance to look through more data, and she wouldn’t get that chance until later in the evening when she and Rose would again have the opportunity to sneak back into that room. Until then…

Her stomach rumbled, interrupting whatever idea she was about to come up with, and she sighed. Ever since leaving Jakku, she’d actually stopped growing used to the feeling of hunger, and it now pained her the way it pained everyone else. She couldn’t exactly say she missed starving, but she certainly missed being able to tolerate it.

With a groan, Rey pushed herself off the ground, and headed back into the commissary, clipping her saber back onto her belt and putting in a maintenance request for the droids into her wrist com as she went.

The commissary was full of people sitting down for lunch, but Rey again isolated herself off to the corner in a table that no one touched. Probably because it was the one closest to the trash compactor and it smelled just poorly enough that most people didn’t want to touch it with a ten foot pole. It didn’t take long, though, before someone decided that the lone person by the compactor needed company, and soon enough Poe Dameron’s bright smile was occupying her line of sight, followed shortly after by Finn’s.

“Hey,” the Commander opened with, and Rey just gave him a hum of acknowledgement in response. On top of just not wanting to talk to people, her mouth was absolutely full of food and she didn’t need to draw further attention to herself by becoming an embarrassment.

“You alright, Rey?” Finn asked, then he gestured to the otherwise empty table. “You don’t usually sit by yourself like this.”

She swallowed her food, and gave them a nod. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I needed some peace and quiet…”

Poe snickered. “Canto Bight too much for you, desert dweller?”

“Something like that,” she muttered, picking at another bite of her food, some brown mush looking thing that she couldn’t quite put a label on. “I’m just tired, and I wanted to be left alone.”

Her friend’s face grew sympathetic, then he shook his head. “I don’t want to bother you, but I do need to ask you some follow-up questions about your mission.”

Her heart picked up its pace in her chest, and it took all her strength to keep her expression neutral. She couldn’t have another slip up like she did with Rose earlier. “Like what?”

“Basic stuff, like I need to know about the First Order’s presence there,” he said, then he lowered his voice slightly. “Were there stormtroopers?”

“I… I don’t know…” she replied, then she swallowed nervously. “Poe… you already know I don’t remember anything after making the information trade. I did my part on the mission, then I walked away…” _Saw Kylo Ren, and woke up in my hotel bed with a ring on my finger._ “And I woke up in bed.”

“Alone?” Poe asked, then Finn pressed a hand to his arm, and shook his head. “What?”

“That’s none of our business,” he replied. “We just need to know about the mission, remember?”

“Well, yeah, but… I’m…”

“Nosey?” Finn offered, and Poe smirked as he looked back at Rey, rolling his eyes at his friend’s suggestion that he could even be the slightest bit too interested in things that weren’t really any of his business.

Rey gave him a nod, hoping she looked convincing as she gave him her answer. “Yeah, I was alone. There was no one else in the bed.”

Poe quirked an eyebrow, then he shrugged. “Rey, you might be the only person I’ve heard of who woke up in Canto Bight alone.”

“Commander, not everyone is as promiscuous as you are,” she reminded him, then she took a sip of her water, and her friends both snorted their laughter, the aforementioned commander turning a tad pink.

“Alright, that’s fair…” he replied, then he crossed his arms, and his expression turned serious. “But what about on the morning you left? How strong would you say their presence was, then?”

 _How strong did he consider the presence of the Supreme Leader?_ “I didn’t see anyone,” she replied, nearly wincing at the lie she told. The more she lied, the worse off she’d be in the event that anyone found out about what she’d really done on Canto Bight. The thought of the Resistance’s reaction to what she’d done made her stomach turn, and suddenly she desperately didn’t want the food that sat on the tray in front of her.

“Are you feeling okay?” Poe asked, reaching out to press his hand gently against her forearm. “You’re looking a little bit green, Rey.”

“I’m fine.”

He still looked thoroughly concerned, exchanging a glance with Finn before he removed his hand, then he nodded, and scooted his chair back. “Get some rest, we’re having a meeting tomorrow morning. I’m thinking of planning another mission, and I want you and Finn as my right hand men.”

“I’ll be there,” she promised, then she gathered her things, and made a slightly too hasty exit from the commissary, nearly chucking in her wrist com along with her food into the trash compactor as she went. Rey didn’t look back as she made her way out of the main part of the base, and back toward her bunk.

The moment she was free from people, her head instantly felt better, but she collapsed against her door, her head falling into her hands as she thought through the close encounter she’d just had. It had been too close, and while Poe had been understanding of her need for space in the end, she still had anxiety over him — or even Finn — finding out her secret. Would he still want her as his right hand man if he knew her husband’s identity? He wouldn’t be able to trust her, since she couldn’t remember anything of what had happened in Canto Bight, and if she couldn’t accompany him on missions or go out and do missions herself, then she was borderline useless to the Resistance.

“ _Kriff,”_ she breathed. “Kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff…”

All she wanted to do was collapse into a ball and sit there for hours, but she couldn’t. She had to be stronger than that. Surely she’d faced worse in the desert than being married to her enemy. Rey was stronger than this, she’d survived all those years on her own, survived the former Supreme Leader’s torture, survived leaving Kylo behind on the Supremacy… She would survive this, too.

She just needed to shower first. She hadn’t showered since… _Before Canto Bight._

Groaning, Rey pushed herself up off the floor, and stretched all of the kinks out of her muscles before she strode over into the fresher area, turning the thing on, and using the time before it warmed up to begin undressing. She removed her hair from its half up, half down position, then sat down on the floor to remove her boots, undoing the laces with nimble fingers.

With two small grunts, she chucked those out into her bunk, then she grumbled as she undid the belt at her waist, letting it fall to the floor as she stood up, catching herself in the mirror over her sink as she slid the wraps she wore off of her shoulders, letting that fabric pool at her feet as well. She looked surprisingly well slept given how much stress she was under, but she wasn’t about to let herself think too deeply as to why. Still there were dark circles under her eyes, the tender skin there more purple than it usually was, and it certainly wasn’t helped by the dark colors of the fresher walls.

Shaking her own appearance from her thoughts, she turned away from the mirror as she slipped her deep purple top over her head, and let it fall to the ground beside the black wraps she’d worn that day so she was standing in her trousers and breast band. She was turning around to slip out of her trousers, when suddenly she heard a sound that made her heart drop into her stomach. _Oh no._ _Not now. Any time, but force, not now._

Unfortunately for her, the force wasn’t on her side just then. The slight, low humming sound that always accompanied Kylo’s arrival into her life sounded, and she could sense his presence somewhere behind her. Rey closed her eyes in resignation. This was going to happen no matter what she did, and she tried desperately not to think about the last time something like this had happened on Ahch To, when he had been the one shirtless and she’d been… _flustered._

Her eyes opened, and a subtle smile appeared on her face that she quickly dampened as she prepared herself to turn around. Rey wasn’t particularly petty, but she definitely held grudges, it had been the reason she’d shot him when the bond had first presented him to her. And she had a bone to pick with him for how nonchalant he’d been in the face of her embarrassment, too casual despite her obviously flustered demeanor.

Revenge was certainly something she could do.

Not giving herself another chance to overthink her next action, Rey turned around to see his back still to her. “You really need to work on your timing.”

A snort left him, and he sounded almost amused as he turned around. “Sweetheart, we both— _oh._ ” His retort was lost on his lips as he saw her, then his eyes shot downward, and he swallowed his anxiety. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he crossed his arms over his chest, and shifted his mouth in that way she thought she might find adorable if they weren’t enemies, resignation sweeping over _him_ as he tapped his foot nervously on the ground.

“It’s interesting to be on the other end, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t realize you were the type to gloat,” he replied, then he stepped off to the side, and she followed him carefully with her gaze, trying her best not to think on the way his eyes kept almost involuntarily flicking over her body, like he couldn’t help himself. In his defense, when he’d been the one in this position, she couldn’t help looking at him either.

Was he doing that exact same thing now? Were his eyes flicking down to the contours of her muscles without a command from his brain? Were they watching the way her chest rose and fell with every breath while his heart raced in his chest, and he felt almost a little lightheaded from how dizzy she was making him? Did he understand now what he’d done to her when he’d been like that?

_Was she the first person he’d seen in such a state of undress?_

“Not normally, but I find it funny the force has decided to do this to the both of us.”

“The force works—”

“If you say in mysterious ways, I’ll end this marriage by widowing myself,” she warned him, then he was doing that thing where he was almost smirking as he walked past her.

She watched him go for a few seconds, barely holding back laughter as he stepped over her clothes, then he turned back to face her. “Did you… Did you find anything?”

“A little, we got interrupted.”

“Interrupted?”

Rey nodded as she walked up to him, standing close enough that she had to look up in order to look him in the eyes, then she began to explain what had happened with Rose. “We found footage from the casino. You and I nearly got into a fight, but… Authorities stopped us with a warning, I guess, since we weren’t thrown out…”

Kylo was listening intently, his eyes switching back and forth between hers. “And then what? Did we take the fight somewhere else?”

“No, we argued through the entire building, and then we… I don’t know you asked me something, and we talked for another minute before I followed you somewhere.”

“Followed me? Why the hell would I ask you to follow me?” he asked, looking perplexed by the idea that he would ever do such a thing.

Did he forget that somehow they’d wound up married? The normal logic behind all their actions didn’t apply to this situation. “Ben, we got _kriffing_ married. Why would we do that?”

He stepped back again, then he slowly gave her a nod. “Fine, I’ll concede that point, but, Rey… what happened next?”

“I don’t know, that’s when we got interrupted.”

Kylo looked hesitant, but then he bowed his head in acknowledgment, still trying desperately to keep his gaze from falling on her half naked form. “I don’t…”

“You don’t _what?_ ”

“I don’t suppose that _you_ have something you could put on?”

“What, like a cowl?”

With a glare in her direction, Kylo immediately rolled his eyes, and Rey found she was reveling in his reaction to the whole situation. It was exactly like what had happened when he’d been the one without a shirt, except they’d been talking for at least five minutes this time. That connection really did seem to be lasting longer and longer each time they made it.

“What were you even doing without a…”

“A shirt? I could ask you the same.”

“That was months ago, and I was training.”

“I’m about to head into the fresher,” she told him, watching his cheeks turn a deeper shade of pink, then an idea struck her. She wasn’t sure if she had the courage to say what she said next, even sarcastically, but she seemed to thrive off of driving him a little crazy. Doing this was a damn necessity. “Unless you want to join me, I’d suggest turning around or closing this.”

Kylo gestured between them with his gloved hands in protest. “You and I both know I have no control over when this connection ends.”

Rey shrugged, attempting to keep her demeanor nonchalant as she crossed her arms over her stomach. “Then I guess…” She swallowed nervously, finding that she was unsure about finishing through with the removal of her clothes even as the water from the fresher dripped onto the floor. “I guess you’ll have to just sit there, then, but… turn around.”

A snort left him, but he complied, making a show out of turning to face the opposite direction. “You sound nervous, Rey.”

“I’m not,” she protested, working her thumbs beneath the waistband of her trousers. “I’ve just…” she let her hands fall to her sides. “I’ve never…” Closing her eyes, she gestured vaguely to her body as she sensed him turning around. “Been disrobed in front of someone before. In any context.”

“Neither have I,” he admitted, then her eyes popped open, meeting his the moment he turned back toward her. “Fitting then that we should be one another’s firsts, given the circumstances.”

Completely missing the joking tone in his voice, Rey scoffed. “What circumstances?” she asked, stepping closer to him to the point where she was invading his space. “We got married in a drunken ceremony we can’t remember on _Canto Bight_.”

“Rey…”

“There is _nothing special_ about our wedding other than that it was an illegal sham—“

“I know,” he interrupted, putting a hand between them that nearly skimmed over the fabric of her breast band from its proximity to her. “Rey, I wasn’t being serious.”

Her emotions finally draining away back to the depths of her soul, she could see it clearly now. She could hear the sarcastic tone in his voice, could see the smirk that had tilted the corners of his mouth, and could remember that Kylo had a rather dry sense of humor that could be hard to pick up on at times. It was hard enough that he instead of making her laugh had a habit of pissing her off. She’d thought she was getting better at understanding it lately, but this whole marriage situation had put her severely on edge.

At least one of them was capable of acting normal, and for some reason, she was grateful to him for it. “Oh,” she breathed, then she cleared her throat. “Right then, I suppose we just sit here until this ends?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll… I’ll put my shirt on.”

A slight choking noise followed her statement. “Good idea.”

She didn’t say a word as she walked over and turned off the water, then picked up her draping fabric from the floor, and covered herself with it as if it was a shawl.

“Now what?” she asked him.

Kylo looked as lost as she felt when she met his gaze. Neither of them ever knew what to do when the force decided to inconvenience them in this way, and most of the time they just ignored each other from beginning to end, but their wedding had thrown a massive wrench in the middle of their plans.

“Have you looked up your name in the records yet?” he asked. “I know not everyone changes theirs, but… if you decided to, you’re going to need to cover it up.”

“I know,” she replied, then she wrapped her makeshift shawl around herself a little more tightly. “I’ll have Rose help me with it when we meet later.”

He gave a weak hum in response, and she licked her lower lip before she called out his name, his real one, not the one he’d chosen under Snoke’s tutelage. “Thanks for the advice.”

“It’s nothing,” he said with a shrug. “What helps you helps me. It’s mutually beneficial.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know, but thanks anyway.”

Kylo seemed pleasantly surprised by her gratitude, and this time the crimson creeping up his cheeks she suspected had nothing to do with her decreased state of undress. He simply wasn’t used to people thanking him. She had a passing thought that she ought to amend that, and she had a lot more to thank him for, but then he faded away before her eyes for the second time, and again Rey was alone in her quarters.

Resigned to the fact that they would never finish a conversation, she turned around, dropped the fabric from her shoulders, and turned the fresher back on before resuming the removal of her clothing. She then let the minutes pass mindlessly as the hot water washed over her body, and she stared blankly at the wall. 

When they were still in the casino he’d antagonistically teased her about potentially changing her last name, and she’d teased him in turn, but she hadn’t really given it much thought since. The marriage was on a file somewhere, floating around as a burning piece of evidence in galactic record that had only gone unnoticed because no one had thought to check it. No one had any reason to suspect either of them of having been on Canto Bight outside of them and their causes much less to believe they’d gotten married, but if the records showed that Rey, previously nameless, had a last name?

_It’d be over before she could even try to explain._

Rey stepped out of the shower feeling her nerves completely on end as she redressed herself, and prepared for her meeting with Rose. Another hour passed before she was able to leave, the lights in the halls of the base dimming with the coming of night. Ordinarily, this would be the opposite, but with the Resistance as small as it was and trying its hardest to avoid detection, they needed to keep a lower profile, and thus the lights went dim.

This made for perfect cover for Rey to sneak along the halls of the base. Well, this and her usage of the force to get people to look the other way if they noticed her. She hoped Rose was faring okay even though she didn’t have the same skills. It would be rather difficult for her to investigate without the technically inclined woman’s assistance.

Lucky for her, Rose was already typing away when she slipped into the room. Rey let out a little shriek, in fact, when the door shut and her friend was jumping out of her chair and onto her feet with a blaster in her hands that was now pointed firmly at the jedi. “Oh, it’s just you,” she breathed, sighing with relief as she holstered her blaster.

“Yeah, it’s just me, so please don’t shoot.”

“Sorry,” Rose said, sitting down in her chair again. “But take a look at what I found.”

Rushing over to her side, Rey looked over to see Rose’s face illuminated by the green undertones on the screen, then she watched as her friend played a small clip showing the interior of the bar. On screen, she and Kylo sat down at a table to the rear corner of the room — as if they didn’t want to be seen — and ordered drinks from a passing waiter. The two appeared tense, and even from a distance on a shady recording she could see his gloved hand clenched into a fist.

Yet as the time passed, she watched them argue until suddenly he looked absolutely crestfallen, and she’d never wanted to hear a recording’s audio more. Still, she wagered even if it did have audio, she wouldn’t be able to hear it. The bar was packed, completely filled to the brim with people, and the two of them were as far away from the camera as it was possible to be.

She was going to have to go without that knowledge, but as she and Kylo started to knock back drink after drink, she wished she knew what they were saying more than anything. At one point after drink five, she watched his hand reach across for hers, a sorrowful expression on her face as they continued speaking. Rey shook her head. “Fast forward it, we need to know where we were married at. That’s the first step to ending all this.”

Rose looked a bit hesitant, but complied, pressing a button on the screen that sped up the footage, and Rey watched in fast motion as their apparent love story played out. By the time they finished more drinks, they were incredibly close, and rather touchy. She’d moved her seat by his, and they’d been holding hands for a while when suddenly she watched in fast motion as—

“Slow it down!” she shouted, and her friend slowed down the footage just as Kylo’s hand was coming up to caress her jaw, as he leaned in whispering something, and she gave him a nod in return. Rey’s heart was absolutely pounding in her chest as the pair on the screen leaned in closer and closer together until they were sharing an impossibly sweet kiss. Her jaw fell open, her fingers reaching up to gingerly brush against her lower lip as she watched her forgotten first kiss unfold on screen.

In a distant corner of her mind she could recall the feeling of his lips; they’d been warm and soft, the waves of his hair had been soothing beneath her calloused fingertips, and he’d been holding her close as if he’d never let go. Rey had thought that kissing him would feel cold and dark, but Kylo —no, this was _Ben—_ was impossibly warm, and light exploded behind her closed eyelids.

Through their bond and across the galaxy, she felt Ben jolt in his steps on the First Order’s new destroyer, one smaller than the Supremacy, but still deadly— that currently housed the First Order’s highest ranking soldiers— and hold himself up against a wall as the feelings of that memory washed over him as well. The kiss wasn’t frenzied, it wasn’t a product of hormones or desperation, or even the alcohol rushing through their veins and destroying their livers. It was born of something genuine, an actual connection between two people that woke something in them they hadn’t ever felt before.

Watching it happen on a screen, Rey nearly felt tears well up in her eyes, and it wasn’t until Rose rested a hand on her shoulder a minute later, her eyes full of concern when she met them that the spell was finally broken. “Are you okay?”

Rey nodded, sniffling as she wiped away a tear she hadn’t been aware she shed. “I remember that,” she told her, then she swallowed nervously at the confession she was about to give. “Rose, that was my first kiss.”

“Oh, wow…” Rose breathed, then her eyes flickered back to the screen. “Looks like it was a nice one.”

Rey gave a small chuckle. “It was…” Then she paused. “You’re not angry with me?”

“Why would I be?”

“Because I kissed Kylo Ren and it… it felt like coming home, and I don’t know why.”

“Rey… I don’t like who he is, but… I have eyes…” Rose turned in her chair, and took Rey’s hands in hers. “And what I just saw? Whatever happened between you two was genuine. You can’t make that up, and it didn’t look like it was just alcohol. And besides… I promised to help you no matter what. Your life matters more to me than who you might be in love with.”

At that, Rey thought she might have actually started crying, and without another word, she threw her arms around Rose’s shoulders, and the two women held each other close for a moment, letting the Rey and Kylo on screen walk off of it and out of the bar to revel in their newfound romance. They pulled away a moment later, and as she watched her past self follow Kylo out of the bar, she was struck with a memory of her earlier conversation with him. “Rose, could you pull up the files on me? I need to see if my name has changed.”

“You’d think that someone would’ve noticed by now if you had,” Rose pointed out, and while that was a perfectly good concern, Rey shook her head.

“Just… please.”

Without another question, Rose’s hands were swiping across the screen, and a moment later, Rey’s image filled her vision, and beside it, information listing her name, age, and planet of origin were written in large, blue font. Her smiling face was a contrast to the way she felt upon seeing the name scrawled by it in basic lettering.

She kept her eyes downcast as those results came in, and as Rey’s heart beat against her sternum, Rose’s eyes narrowed in curiosity at the sight of the basic blue lettering that bore her new surname. “Why the hell is your last name Solo?”


	4. How the Force Works

 

_Rey Solo. Rey Solo. Rey Solo. Rey Solo._

_Kriff. Kriff. Kriff…_

Rey’s palm slammed into her forehead, and she immediately let out a long overdue groan in response to Rose’s confused, innocent questioning of her new surname. _Solo._ A name known all across the galaxy that belonged to a hero and a smuggler, and also to his son… who was thought to be dead to most people who’d heard of him.

 _Solo. Rey Solo._ It was a crucial detail. It meant that the man she married hadn’t been Kylo Ren, but it had been Ben Solo. Her cheeks flushed red anew at this realization, and she couldn’t look Rose in the eye as the other woman called out to her in confusion. All she could think about was the warmth of a fire, cool fingertips pressing against hers, a lightsaber igniting, and an ally at her side as they fought like hell to get out alive.

It was Ben, not Kylo, not the Supreme Leader of the First Order, but the man who had told her she wasn’t alone, and somehow that changed everything.

“Rey?” Rose asked, then a hand was on her shoulder, and she jolted out of her state of shock. She stared at her friend with wide eyes as she suddenly remembered that the woman in front of her was amongst the majority that didn’t understand the true identity of her husband. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, rubbing at her temples as she felt her head start to spin. It still didn’t feel real sometimes, but it was. She was married, and her husband had willingly gone by his birth name when they’d exchanged vows. The thought of that almost put a smile on her face, but then she reminded herself where Ben Solo was now. He was on a ship in the far reaches of the galaxy doing his daily routine as the Supreme Leader, whatever that entailed, and feeling… whatever she’d started to feel was not something she could allow.

It didn’t help that Rose definitely didn’t believe her. When she finally decided to meet her eyes, she was quirking an inquisitive eyebrow that said, “Try again,” without having to open her mouth.

“I can’t explain it, and I know this is a lot for me to ask of you, but I just need you to trust me.”

“Why? If you married Kylo Ren, why is your last name So-”

“Rose.”

“Okay, okay,” she replied, putting her hands up as if to tell Rey not to shoot. “But… Are you okay? I know that was a lot to see.”

Rey gave her a nod. “I’ll manage.”

“So… Your first kiss, huh?”

Again, Rey’s cheeks flushed beet red, and she casually nudged Rose. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“How was it?”

The question was earnest, genuine, and asked without a hint of judgement for whom she’d kissed. It was almost as if Rose didn’t care that it was Kylo, even though the First Order had certainly made her life absolute hell from the get go. Perhaps it was that most of what had happened to her had been done under a different Supreme Leader, a crueler man with far worse ideals than those belonging to the current one. Or maybe the level of trust between them was actually high enough that she didn’t need to know the full story to understand that there was something deeper going on than just an accidental marriage between the two.

How she would answer it was another question entirely.

She knew how it felt, being kissed for the first time, and while she was sure she’d been kissed after that, she couldn’t recall the feeling of any of the others. It was only that one kiss. That was the sole thing which she could remember thus far out of the entire blank space from Canto Bight, but _force_ , she loved that memory already. It didn’t even matter that the identity of the man kissing her was someone she shouldn’t enjoy kissing, the damn thing had made her entire body feel alive — that much she _could_ remember — it had breached through the alcohol clouding her system and awakened her — and him in turn, she’d felt that through their connection — in ways she hadn’t known possible.

A minute ago she’d admitted that it felt like coming home, and she didn’t even know what home was, but she reckoned it was something like… _that… oh no…_ “I… I think I’m in trouble…”

“Why?” Rose asked, then she locked eyes with Rey, and her face fell. “Oh…” She swallowed nervously, then she cleared her throat. “I’m guessing there’s something I don’t know about him that’s making you feel this way?”

“There’s a lot no one knows…” Rey absentmindedly picked at a loose thread on her arm wraps, taking in a short breath. “I can’t tell you most of it, but… he’s not what he seems, there’s a light in there, and… I tried to bring it out of him. I failed.”

“I heard an old saying once when I was a kid, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” Rose pointed out, then Rey gave her a bleak smile, and the two women burst into light giggles before she again reached for the Jedi’s hands. “But tell me… Was he…” She gestured between them. “Good at it?”

Another snort left Rey, then she slowly nodded. “I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to, but… I guess it was rather wonderful.”

“Sorry if that was a bit too invasive, I was just… curious.”

“No, I don’t blame you, I’d probably be the same if I were in your position.” Rey leaned back in her chair, then she spared a glance at the time on the screen. “It’s getting late.”

Rose nodded. “Yeah, it is, but we shouldn’t waste time ending this, Rey.”

 _Oh right._ In all the rush of remembering her first kiss, she’d forgotten that they were only there in the first place to figure out a way to end the marriage she’d gotten herself into. _Kriff_. Rose was right, they did have to end it, but something in her was fighting the idea, wanting to push it aside till later. Her brain was reevaluating things, adjusting its priorities and desires, and it frightened her a little, if she were being honest.

“Can we do it in the morning?” she asked, then she gestured to the hallway. “Someone could walk in on us, that chance goes up the longer we stay in here.”

The other woman was looking at her through disbelieving eyes, but eventually, Rose leaned forward, and set the computer back to its resting state, wiping the traces of their search through the galactic database clean. “Let’s get out of here, then.”

Without another word, the two women crept out of the room, and back to their own bunks, both praying that they wouldn’t be caught — which wouldn’t be the worst thing, since the Resistance wasn’t the Order — and somehow making it back anyway.

That night, Rey laid awake in bed again, watching as the shadows on her wall grew long with the riding of one of the planet’s two moons in the sky. It was full that night, bathing her room in a blue light through her window that made the room a little bit too bright, but she’d slept in worse conditions. It wasn’t the light that was keeping her awake, it was the fear of the realization she’d come to while watching the footage with Rose.

Well, it was more of an almost realization. She knew one thing for certain; she really enjoyed kissing Kylo — or was he Ben now? Her married name was Solo, after all — and she wanted to do it again. What that meant, she wasn’t sure, but it had apparently been enough for her drunken self to realize they needed to be married even despite all of the reasons screaming at them why they shouldn’t.

Swears fell from her lips as she covered her face with her hands, groaning as she turned to face her wall, wishing more than anything that she could figure out what she was feeling, but then she heard that familiar whooshing, vibrating noise that indicated he was there in the force, and resignation filled her. Apparently the force worked in not only mysterious, but annoying ways. “Three times in one day,” Kylo murmured, then she rolled her eyes. “Will wonders ever cease?”

“The first day the force connected us, it was five,” she reminded him, refusing to turn around, since she was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to keep her eyes away from his lips if she did.

“I didn’t know you kept track,” he said, his voice tinged with amusement as he spoke.

“I keep track of how frequently you bother me,” she muttered, disguising her mixing feelings about him under layers of vitriol she knew how to spit out like it was no one’s business.

Another wave of amusement hit her, but this time it was in the emotions she sensed through the bond. Still she refused to turn around. As annoyed as she was, Rey was still too flustered to actually face him. If she looked at him then she might've actually been unable to control her reactions.

“Did… did you find anything else?” he asked, causing her to sense a familiar discomfort in his presence, followed by a rush of confused, curious delight not unlike what had filled her upon remembering the kiss. It was then that she remembered he felt it, too, and she realized he was probing to see if she was going to talk about it. Clearly, he didn’t want to be the one to bring it up first.

Unfortunately for him, Rey had a stubborn streak unmatched by most people in the galaxy.

“We found footage of us in the bar.”

“And…?”

“And we were quite drunk as the time went on.”

She heard Kylo shift from where he was. It sounded as if he was shifting his legs going from the quiet squeak of leather on leather, and she wagered wherever he was, he was sitting down. “Did we do anything that might… allude to what happened?”

Apparently, she was going to have to be the one to bring it up if he was going to word it so, but still, she put up one last bit of fight. “What do you mean?”

A frustrated grunt, then he sighed. “The kiss,” he said finally after a few seconds of awkward silence. “Was that real, or was it just a vivid daydream?”

Rey swallowed. “It was real.”

“ _Shit_ ,” he breathed, and out of all the things he could’ve said, she hadn’t quite been expecting that, though it wasn’t really the most surprising reaction. For some reason, though, she started giggling uncontrollably, and for the next minute or two, she couldn’t quite find it in her to stop. The entire time she could feel Kylo’s eyes on her, but still she managed to not give a damn as she processed his reaction to the kiss. She’d had an internal crisis, and out loud admitted to Rose the way it had felt, but all Ben could manage to say was a simple curse.

She couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t like she could read his face when she was facing her wall, and she had no intentions of revealing her true feelings about the kiss in front of him, either. “Shit,” was actually a rather appropriate reaction, especially when said breathlessly as he’d said it, like the knowledge that he’d really kissed her was powerful enough to knock the wind from his lungs.

“Have you gotten it out of your system?” he asked after a while, then she nodded.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Is there anything else?” he asked, his voice falling quiet as the concern dropped back into the bond.

 _Rey Solo_.

Her new last name was suddenly glaring out at her again, but she didn’t know how to bring it up. It was a danger to them both, and she had to tell him, but force help her, she didn’t want to. “There’s one more thing.”

In that moment, he seemed to sense the tension brewing within her, and she felt the pressure of his gaze lift off her back, allowing her to breathe properly for the first time since the force had decided to connect them that evening. Taking in a shuddering breath, Rey slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, but still refused to look at him as she spoke. “Remember how we were talking about my surname being different?”

Kylo was smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for, and she sensed the instant he picked up on the meaning of that question. He knew she wasn’t asking just because she wanted to know if he remembered, but she was also telling him that it had changed. “What is it now?”

Closing her eyes, she let out the air in her lungs ever so slowly. “Solo,” she answered him. “It’s Solo.”

There was a sharp pang of dread followed by a brief feeling of relief, and ending in a flourish of confusion as if he didn’t know what to feel about this revelation. “Rey Solo,” he breathed, then she heard the sound of something hard — presumably his head — striking the wall without much force on the far side of her room. “So I told the officiant my birth name.”

“Or I did.”

“But I agreed to it,” he replied, then she looked over to see him scratching his head, his eyes closed as he tilted his face up toward the ceiling. “Why… why would I tell them I’m Ben?”

“Because it’s your name?”

His eyes opened, dark brown irises meeting hers with disbelief in their depths. “Rey, I haven’t let anyone but you call me Ben Solo…” A shudder went through him, as if just thinking the name brought him physical pain. “Since I left Luke’s temple.”

“That seems to fit with the situation.”

Kylo shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t use it in public, if I was using it again…” He stood up abruptly, and turned away from her, facing the wall which bore her window. “... I…”

He was speechless, and she could only think of one other time in which she’d seen him this way. When they’d first met, and she was strapped down in the interrogation room on Starkiller, she’d rendered him speechless when she’d gone into his mind. He’d even left the room completely, allowing her to make her escape.

“What would it mean if you were using it again?” she asked, and this time she felt his nerves rattling from how he felt _her_ eyes on _his_ back. She stood up, and walked over to the window, wondering what he was seeing from wherever he was looking out. “Ben?” Rey gently rested a hand on his arm, still amazed that she could actually feel the ridges of his sleeve beneath her palm, though he was likely halfway across the galaxy and many, many light years away from her.

He didn’t look at her, but he also didn’t push her hand away. Instead, he reached up with his black-gloved one, and covered hers where it rested over the dense muscle beneath his sleeve. “I don’t know,” he replied in a way that suggested he did, but she didn’t press him. Yes, she wanted to figure out what had happened to them on Canto Bight, but if he wasn’t comfortable sharing his reasons, she wasn’t going to push him.

No one should care for their enemy’s feelings the way she cared for his, but Rey didn’t care about what they were supposed to feel, she only cared about what they did. “What about you? Have you learned anything?”

Kylo shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I haven’t. I’ve wanted to, but… Hux tracks my every move like a hawk. I can’t trust that he won’t find what I’ve been looking for and figure out what happened between us.” At this, he looked at her, and a low sigh left his lips. “If he learns about _you_ …”

Again, her feelings bubbled up within her, and she felt compelled to hold them back with that same anger she’d displayed earlier. “I didn’t realize you cared,” she replied half sarcastically.

“I-I don’t.” Yet she could see his cheeks flushing as he pointedly avoided her gaze, a familiar, heart fluttering feeling drifting in through the bond that told her a part of him was feeling the exact same way she felt. The realization of this had her breathing uneasily as their hands slowly fell back to their sides, and they both just stood there staring out the window.

“I wish I could remember it,” she said after a while. “And not just because we need to for our own safety, but at the end of the day… we did something I never thought I’d get the chance to do, and I feel like I missed it.”

Kylo looked over at her, then. “You wanted to get married?”

“I don’t know about an actual wedding, but I always thought it might be nice to have someone who loved me like that,” she admitted, scratching at the back of her neck. “Remember what I told you by the fire? I was alone most of my life. I’m used to being alone, but… I always heard stories, and wished that maybe one day I would get to live that sort of life, one with a happy ending.”

A gentle hum left him in response. “I never thought I’d get married either.”

“No?”

“No. I spent all that time with Luke training to be a Jedi, then… Snoke didn’t allow me to form any actual relationships within the first order beyond what was necessary.”

“What a kriffing arsehole.”

“There’s a reason I killed him,” he replied, then he shook his head, as if dismissing an unwanted thought, and crossed his arms over his chest. “But my point is… I was always scared of it. I’d seen my… _parents_ growing up. They were always touch and go, never consistently kind to each other, but never consistently at their throats either. I didn’t want my life to be like theirs.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I heard stories, too, though. Whenever I’d be alone at night, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like not to be.”

A smile tilted up the corners of her mouth. They weren’t so different, were they? Just two lonely children looking up at stars and dreaming of a day when they would have someone lying by their side to admire the twinkling balls of light with them. He’d told her once she wasn’t alone, and those words had never been more true than they were in that moment where they stood looking out the window into the dark wilderness beyond together, standing side by side in the light of the moon’s pale glow.

Rey tugged at the string on her neck, bringing her ring out into view as she held it in her open palm. “Be careful what you wish for, I guess,” she murmured as she admired the golden hue of the band.

A slightly crestfallen expression fell over him, but he quickly disguised it under a mildly amused smirk. “At least it was you, not someone else on your side.”

“I could say the same. That general of yours would probably have driven me mad by now.”

“Try actually working with him.”

“That’s fair,” she replied, a soft chuckle escaping her as she spared him a glance. “But since it’s you…”

Kylo turned to face her. “Since it’s me…?”

She turned around, and leaned against the wall, feeling shivers run up and down her spine at the contact with the cold metal, though that might’ve been from the intensity of his gaze as he looked down at her. “I… I don’t know, I… for some reason, though I really shouldn’t, I trust you.”

“I know the feeling,” he replied, nodding slowly. “I trust you, too.”

In that split second he’d never looked at her more earnestly, and she realized that whatever strange thing was occurring between them was mutual. At least, it was when it came to trust, and that was important to her. She’d met very few people in her life she had genuinely experienced it with, much less to the degree which she trusted him to. Maybe it was because she could read his emotions and had been inside his mind, but something in her gut told her the trust between them fam deeper than any logic she could attempt to apply.

Rey wasn’t sure what she’d say in response to that, but before she got the chance, there was a knock on her door, and she hurriedly shoved the ring back into the depths of her shirt before staring at Kylo— or at least, where he’d once stood. It felt like Luke had interrupted their hand hold by the fire all over again, and whoever was on the other side of that door was going to absolutely get a piece of her mind for ending that conversation before she was ready.

She stalked over to the door, throwing it open angrily with a “ _What?”_ shouted into the dark hallway, and directly into the face of a very unfortunate Rose Tico.

“Kriff, Rey, are you alright?” Rose asked, her voice so full of concern that Rey lost the venom that was fueling her, and relaxed her posture.

“I’m fine, sorry, I was just…”

“I thought I heard voices, is someone in there?”

“Um…” _Think fast._ “I was communicating with someone…” She looked down at the black device still attached to her wrist, and held it up to Rose. “On wrist coms.” She sure as hell wasn’t explaining the bond she shared with Ben to Rose. She’d barely managed to explain it to Leia a few months earlier, and she’d only explained it to her because she was his mother and she was also force sensitive. Once the force had connected them while they were in the same room, and the General had turned white as a sheet to see her son sitting there with Rey.

She’d had no choice but to explain it after that.

Rose on the other hand, she had a choice, and the bond was an intimate thing beyond the fact of just keeping it secret so no one knew how close she was to Kylo. She couldn’t explain it to her, not yet.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, positive, why, what’s going on?”

Rose raised her own wrist device to face level, then she pressed a button on it, and a little hologram displaying Rey’s file, complete with Rey Solo written by her image appeared above her wrist. “Watch this,” she said, then she pressed another button, and the Solo part of her name disappeared, and it was just Rey again, which filled her with relief, but also an odd disappointment.

“What did you do?”

“I went back and did some tinkering after you left? I didn’t find anymore footage from the casino but I figured out how to hack the database,” Rose explained, smiling broadly. “I couldn’t figure out how to undo your marriage since I don’t know where you did it or who officiated, but I figured I could change a record that was made on a Resistance computer.”

“My record.”

She nodded eagerly. “Exactly!” she cried delightedly. “So this means all we have to do is figure out where you got married and we can end this.”

Rose’s enthusiasm stung her for some reason, and she couldn’t place it. She wanted the marriage to end, this was a good thing, wasn’t it? Yet there was a tugging at her heart that she couldn’t place its origin, all she knew was she desperately didn’t want to think about it. “Right… ending it…” Without thinking, she stepped away from the door, suddenly feeling a bit nauseous at the prospect.

When the marriage had first happened, it had been all she wanted — to end it — but now… _Oh no, oh no, oh no._ She’d been slowly coming to the realization all day, but it was hitting her more and more by the second that the Canto Bight wedding had just pushed forth feelings she was trying desperately to deny already. “Kriff,” she breathed, sitting back on her bed, barely aware of Rose entering the room with her, and sitting down at her side.

“You do want to end it, don’t you?” she asked, then she raised disbelieving eyebrows as she locked eyes with Rey. “Holy shit.”

“I need to,” Rey said bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest as she collapsed onto her mattress. “For safety if not for…” She took in a deep breath. “How I feel…”

“Is this about those things you couldn’t tell me about him?” Rose shifted on the bed, kicking her boots off of her feet before crossing one leg over the other. “Is that why you’re in love with him?”

Rey’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t say that I was _in love,_ Rose.”

“Maybe not, but I’m starting to get the impression that if the wedding weren’t incredibly dangerous, you wouldn’t want to undo it,” Rose pointed out, and Rey’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to formulate a response that just wasn’t coming to fruition. “That’s what I thought. Maybe you’re not in love yet, but you’re in the beginning stages, that’s for damn sure.”

No… Surely it couldn’t be… No… She’d know if she was in love with him, and it was too soon to call it love, wasn’t it? But they shared so much; from an intimate connection that crossed lightyears of space and time, to a commonality that few others in the universe shared, and all the way to a marriage that she got the impression he only wanted to end for the same reasons she did.

“I can’t afford to be, so I’m not,” she replied, then she groaned. “There has to be a reason why we got married, there has to be.”

Rose laughed lightly. “Besides the alcohol?”

This time, her response was to hit her head into the mattress. “I don’t know, Rose…” she replied. “But I don’t think it was just the alcohol. That kiss…”

It had been so genuine, too much so for it to be purely alcohol induced, and it was the clearest memory she had of that night, even before the moment she blacked out. She could see the lights of the bar, a dim yellow shade that cast them both in an odd sort of glow, could feel the heat radiating from the heaters around them -- it was a cold night, wasn’t it? She hadn’t spent much time outside, but it was cold -- as they drew closer and closer to one another. Her own voice trembled in her ears as suddenly she remembered the moments before, how he had rested a gloved hand on her jaw, cupping it perfectly as he told her, _“I’ll do it,” and his voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him._

_“What?” she asked him in response, her own voice equally as quiet as she rested a hand over his. “You’ll go?”_

_“I don’t have a choice anymore, Rey… I… I…” His lower lip was trembling, and she had a passing thought that she really ought to stop it from shaking._

_She nodded. “I know, Ben… I’ll help you,” she replied._ The memory became fuzzy again, their voices becoming nothing more than hums and murmurs for a few seconds before she refocused.

_“This is absolutely mad,” she told him, their faces mere inches apart as her hand now began to stroke his hair. “We shouldn’t do this.”_

_“I want to, Rey,” he replied, and kriff, his touch was sending jolts of electricity along her spine as he began stroking her cheek with his thumb. “But only if you do.”_

_“I want to.”_

_“So is that a yes?” he asked, then she nodded eagerly, and broad smiles erupted on both of their faces as Ben leaned forward, and kissed her for the first time._ And there it was, those soft lips pressing against hers, the electricity in her veins, the feeling that after all those years of searching and waiting for a family that just wasn’t coming back, she’d finally come home, and the sense that there would never be a last after this first, no, this was the spark that would ignite the flame that was going to burn for years to come.

The alcohol burning through her liver was nothing, she was drunk on that kiss.

_She wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but eventually they did, and Rey gasped softly as she came up for air, feeling Ben’s hands at her waist, tangled up in the fabric of her wraps as he held her close. Both of them breathed hard, though the kiss wasn’t that long, it was more so the emotional impact that had worn them out completely, making them stare into one another’s eyes as if they were unable to comprehend what had just happened._

_It settled into them slowly, then the smiles returned, and Rey leaned forward to capture his lips again in another, more passionate kiss that felt almost all encompassing. For a moment she forgot who she was, who he was, and she just lost herself to that kiss. They weren’t the last Jedi and the Supreme Leader, they were Rey and Ben, and the galaxy and its troubles could pause for a few minutes while they basked in this moment together._

_“We’re doing it, then?” Ben asked as he pulled just a hair’s breadth away from her. “We’re getting married?”_

_She gave him another nod. “Yeah, we’re getting married,” she told him, then she kissed him again, wanting to spend a little more time learning Ben and the way he kissed, already getting the feeling that she was going to experience such a wonderful thing a lot more frequently._

“Rey?” Rose asked softly, interrupting her thoughts — or rather, memories — as they began to fade into that gray area again. “Are you okay?”

“I…” she sat up straight, running her fingers through her hair as she processed what had just happened. Those were real memories from that night. She hadn’t heard either of them actually ask the other’s hand in marriage, but she could guess what had happened either just before or during the kiss, it was difficult to tell from the dialogue she could recall, but either way… One thing was certain. “I think I just remembered us getting engaged.”

There was another pause, a moment of quiet, then Rose shifted on the bed. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, but… Rose, we were happy… He was saying something about how he’d go somewhere, and I was encouraging him, and… then we kissed, and after he asked if we were really getting married.”

“That’s it?”

“I’m missing a piece, but yeah,” she replied, blinking a tear she hadn’t even noticed developing from her eye. “I think that’s the moment we got engaged, what we saw in the tapes.”

“Congratulations,” Rose replied half-sarcastically, then the two women shared a laugh, and she pressed a hand to Rey’s shoulder. “But… are you okay? What are you gonna tell him about it?”

For a moment, Rey feared that the reason she asked such a question was because Rose had somehow figured out the force bond, but then she remembered that when she’d initially told her about what had happened on Canto Bight, she’d mentioned that they’d put together a truce. In order for that to work, there had to be some sort of communication between them, and thus of course she was sharing this information with him.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, picking at a loose thread on her shirt. “I haven’t ever been one to talk about how I felt.”

“Do you think he feels the same way about you?” Rose asked, then Rey’s cheeks flushed.

She’d seen the way he looked at her in their most recent conversation, the way they kept drifting together as they talked even if they started out far apart. Despite the lack of memories, just knowing that they were married seemed to be doing things to them both they wouldn’t normally do. When the force had connected them in the months since Crait, they’d mostly ignored each other, and even once gotten into an argument. That had been the reason she was so angry the last time she’d seen him, because he had just shown up in front of her after all those things they’d said and she was furious.

But now with an alliance forged by their accidental marriage, it was like their step back from one another — even though most of the battles they’d fought hadn’t been between themselves, but rather skirmishes between their two sides — had made them reevaluate the situation. She was slowly starting to realize that the feelings she’d sensed in herself were also coming out in him. It was as if a switch had been flipped, and suddenly their roles on their opposite sides were starting to matter less and less.

Still that didn’t mean that Kylo was in as deep as she was, and his actual feelings for her were up in the air. All those looks could be misread, but in the memory she had conjured to the surface, he’d looked at her like she was the most wonderful thing in the whole galaxy, and Rey wondered what she’d done to deserve to have someone looking at her like that. There was no faking the way the man on Canto Bight had gazed upon and talked to her; that man cared for her, and that man was him.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning o face Rose. “I can’t explain it, but… I think that it’s possible.”

“That thing you can’t tell me about again?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Okay,” Rose replied, then she yawned and stretched out her legs, then swung them over the bed before grabbing her boots. “I want to help you out, but it’s getting late and I need to sleep. We’ve got a long few days ahead of us before we figure out what the hell happened to you in that casino.”

She gave her friend a nod. “Yeah, we do,” she replied as she watched her friend walk toward the door. “Good night, Rose.”

“Night, Rey,” Rose said, then she disappeared into the hallway, and the door closed again, leaving Rey alone in her room for the first time since Ben had appeared what felt like hours earlier. A small smile appeared on her face as she crawled back beneath the sheets again, thinking about the moment they’d shared by the window.

 _At least it was you._ In a way, it was a confirmation that he was grateful to be married to her, but it was also a deflection, implying that he was just grateful it hadn’t been Poe that he’d accidentally married. With a connection like theirs, though, she’d sensed the blush creeping up his cheeks when he said it, and whether he had feelings like that for her or not, Kylo became flustered at his own positive reaction to being married to her.

Either way, she wasn’t going to say anything about it until he said something about it, and Rey was about ninety percent certain he wouldn’t, allowing ten percent for his unpredictability. Snickering slightly at her own thought, she let her eyes drift shut, and slowly begin to descend into sleep.

In the background of her mind as she got closer and closer to unconsciousness, a part of her vaguely registered the sound of the force connecting them, but by that point she was too far gone to notice as Kylo appeared beside her. She didn’t even sense the warm, muscular arm that had wrapped around her waist in his sleep, or the way he was pressed up against her backside. All she felt was an overwhelming sense of peace as the two of them slept on into the night, every bit the spitting image of a blissful, married couple.

At least, they would’ve been, if only they weren’t separated by an entire galaxy. _One of these days_ , she mused as she began to dream about bright lights and the smell of whiskey, _they would have to remedy that._

 


	5. A Waltz in the Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a minute, I um... I started two new WIPs, and now I have four. Sorry.

The next morning Rey woke up unsure of whether or not Ben was still in her bed, though given how frequently the force connected them, it was entirely possible he’d left and come back for a little while as they were both sleeping. Whatever it was that formed the balance between all living things, it had a wickedly terrible sense of humor, and she wanted to have a stern talking to with it when she got the chance. Something told her, though, that she’d have to wait until she became one with the force in a dead way to find out, and she didn’t fancy that anytime soon, thanks.

Upon opening her eyes, she realized the sun wasn’t quite up yet, and the only light coming in was from the graying light of dawn through an overcast sky. Apparently it was going to rain that day, and she felt a flutter of excitement pass through her at the prospect. She’d only experienced it a few times, but Rey kriffing loved the rain, even when it was cold and wet she adored it. Something about the sound it made as it impacted the ground, or maybe it was just the sight of it, made her feel so serene, so at peace, as if the war and every terrible thing that came with it was just background noise and it would never hurt her.

So far, her day was turning out to be pretty good.

As it began to fall, Rey smiled at the rain, then she sighed slowly, letting the air leave her lungs at a steady pace. The day was either going to be wonderful, or spectacularly shitty. She vaguely recalled her conversation with Poe from the day before, in which he’d confessed plans of a mission that would include her.

The prospect of that made her nervous. She was still in the middle of the investigation into the circumstances surrounding her marriage and had only just started to remember things that had happened. When the new memories had surfaced just before she’d slept, she had been too lost in her own mind to be certain he’d felt them too like he had last time.

There was a certainty she felt about it though a few moments later when she sensed his contentment through their bond. Ben… _oh_ . She was calling him Ben again, wasn’t she? The last time she’d done that had been… _kriff._ She really was starting to feel something for him. It wasn’t just a tiny crush, it was more than that, and as his own delight washed over her, she couldn’t help but basking in it.

Ben Solo was rarely happy. In months of being in his head and bonded to him, she had only seen him smile a scant few times, and he’d laughed only a couple that were mild snickers at best. He never tended to linger in a state of delight like he was now, and she honed in on that feeling as if it was the light of a sun and she wanted to bathe in its warmth.

The buzzing sound that always prefaced their bond came in a few seconds after that.

It was as if she had summoned him, like just by thinking about Ben, he’d appeared, and despite all the reasons she shouldn’t have smiled from the knowledge that he was now there in the room — but definitely somewhere behind her going by the fact that she couldn’t see him — she was practically beaming.

Quickly neutralizing her expression, she debated how to respond to the sudden connection. It all hinged on whether he was awake or asleep, and upon reaching out through the bond, she realized that Ben was still unconscious. So she didn’t have to say anything then. Great.

It was funny how they were halfway across the galaxy from one another, and yet somehow managed to be on the same sleep cycle. She wagered it had something to do with how they constantly felt one another’s emotions and physical feelings. If she felt exhausted, he felt it too and vice versa, and slowly over the last several months they’d started falling asleep at the same time.

Since they’d been married though, she’d woken up to find him in her bed just a bit more frequently. At least, more frequently in the two — or was it three — days since their wedding.

Ben shifted beside her, the bed creaking impossibly under his weight. It still amazed her sometimes how when the force connected them it seemed to physically put them in two places at once. It was an impossible feat that had become reality, and while the former supreme leader had claimed it was his doing, she doubted any being could truly be that powerful if the man sleeping beside her had managed to kill him just minutes after that confession.

That thought made her giggle a bit, but she quickly shut herself up, not wanting to disturb Ben as he slept. She wasn’t sure what she’d say to him if he woke up before their connection ended in light of the revelations she’d come to the night before, or the memories that had cropped up in her brain. They’d both been so happy; it was the most joy she could ever recall experiencing, and it had been because of him.

Behind her, he groaned loudly, the sound likely loud enough to be heard by anyone passing by her bunk. She could only hope that no one had. Through the bond she sensed him coming into consciousness, and she stiffened as he stretched out beside her, and she felt a cloth covered foot brush up against her calf before it froze. Already stiff from not knowing what to do, Rey involuntarily let her amusement at the fact that the Supreme Leader wore socks to bed waft through the bond, undoubtedly letting him know she was awake.

 _Worth it_.

“What’s so funny?” Ben grumbled, his voice still dry and cracked from his slumber, but low and deep in a way that nearly made her shiver.

“Good morning to you, too,” she replied with a scoff, converting the weird sort of lust she felt into more vitriol.

He gave her a little hum of acknowledgement that was oddly endearing, then sighed. “I remembered something last night.”

Rey’s heart picked up its pace in her chest. “Oh?”

“I remembered saying things to you,” he told her, then she could practically see his mouth shifting in that way only his did before he continued. “In the bar.”

“I think I remembered that, too.”

“So we’re on the same page, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Great.”

“Good.”

Rey paused after that, unsure of how to proceed. The memory they’d both recalled was thick with emotions, feelings of the light that were so powerful even the now awake Ben was still exuding wave after wave of positive energy over their bond. It was almost as if he’d given up control of it, and surrendered himself to bliss without even being aware he’d done so.

“I think this is my fault,” Ben said a moment later, his voice falling quiet. “I’m so sorry.”

Confusion breached into the bond from her side. “What for?”

“I think I asked you to marry me,” he replied, then Rey barely held back laughter as she took the ring necklace out of her shirt, and held it up in the faint morning light.

“Maybe so, but… I said yes… so I’m just as at fault as you are.”

Ben fell silent for a minute after that, his breathing shaking as he shifted behind her so she suspected he was on his back, and again she could sense the conflict in him. This time, though, it wasn’t just his usual light versus dark battle, but there was another battle waging within him, one of the emotions. He’d never been particularly skilled at hiding them, but they were particularly loud in that moment.

She saved him from having to say anything, not sure she was ready for whatever it was she thought he might say. “I don’t know how much more investigating I’ll be able to do. Poe says he wants me on a mission soon. We’re meeting this morning to discuss it.”

“I… Damn it…” he grumbled, then he cleared his throat. “That’s fine… You… It’d be of more risk to you if you didn’t go.”

Again she found herself touched by what he said, but that fire in her gut warred against showing it. “It almost sounds like you care about what happens to me.”

“Well, you are my wife,” he replied sarcastically, then she felt his emotions grow soft again, and he shrugged. “I don’t know… I… Rey, we have… something…”

“Something?”

“The-The bond. The force,” he elaborated quickly, and she could feel the blush creeping up on his cheeks through said bond. “If anything happened to you… It’d hurt me, too.”

“Oh.”

“And… yeah, I shouldn’t… But you’re probably the only person who’s ever given a damn about me, so… I care about what happens to you…”

 _“I realized I didn’t want it, Rey…”_ his voice popped into her head, then, and the image of him surrounded by a halo of stars as they swayed on a balcony high above the lights of Canto Bight’s casinos, above the glitz and the glamour. It was just the two of them, safe and sound in their own little world. The rest of the galaxy didn’t exist, and it never would again as far as they were concerned.

“Thanks,” she replied, then she frowned. “Did you hear that?”

“I… I don’t know what it means.” Ben shifted again, and this time she could tell he was facing her. “... but last night… I think we might be in more trouble than we realized.”

“Oh?”

“This was simple when we thought it was just a stupid, drunken mistake. But… the more I remember, the less accurate such a label feels.”

Again her heart was absolutely pounding in her chest. “What do you mean?”

Ben paused, then she felt the bed shift again, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him sitting up, his hair disheveled from sleep and sticking out in places. As she shifted onto her back, she realized she found it oddly charming, and again her cheeks burned crimson. “Rey, I don’t think we made that decision because we were drunkenly giggling and thought it would be funny.”

She shook her head, then she, too was sitting up, bringing her knees up to her chest as she looked at him, taking in the sight of a newly awakened Ben. When they’d been in their — _her_ — hotel room on Canto Bight he’d been just as hungover as she was. They’d also both still been in their daytime clothing. Now they were both in simple shirts and trousers designed for comfort and sleep. His, of course, were black, and hers leaned the more neutral way of the Resistance.

But Ben had under eye bags that almost seemed darker than the vacuum of space itself. It would seem life had not been kind to him in the days since they’d parted, and she could see lines on his face from how tense he was.

Without thinking, Rey placed a hand on his shoulder, and for a moment he tended further, but then he relaxed against her touch, melting into it. It was almost like the night before when they’d stood by her window. Their moment was interrupted then, would the same thing happen now?

“I think you may be right,” she replied, then she removed her hand from her husband’s shoulder, and groaned. “Why can’t we ever spend a normal day together? We always either end up in battle or get married.”

“Or both,” he joked, and it took her a minute too long to realize he was right.

“Or both.”

They shared a nervous laugh, but it was over all too quickly. “Has anyone suspected you yet? That you’ve been up to something?”

“No,” she replied, then worry rushed through her. “Why? Have they suspected you?”

“Hux has noticed how different I’ve been. I thought I was hiding it, but…”

“Maybe I only think this because of our connection, but… Ben your emotions give you away.”

“What?” he asked, as if she’d just suggested the most preposterous thing in the whole universe. “No… they don’t…” Frustration and contemplation filled their bond, then a hint of denial — no, not a hint, a kriffing tsunami.

“I can literally feel you denying it right now,” she replied, sparing him a glance to see the emotions were crystal clear on his face. “And see it.”

A little smile grew on his face, then he turned to look at her. “And what am I thinking now, Jedi?”

There was a pause as his emotions shifted, turning tail from the gray area of denial and light toward something warm akin to the delight she’d sensed in him earlier. Whatever it was, a grin parted her lips in response, and she watched his eyes drift down to them as her pulse picked up speed. Faintly, she heard his name fall from her lips, but she was brought back to attention by his voice as he called out to her again.

“Rey,” he whispered. “What am I thinking?”

“You’re thinking…” She began to steadily climb out of the trance he’d put her in, then a smirk blossomed on her face. “I’m a better kisser than you are.”

The tone of her voice was sarcastic, but still she watched as his irises darkened slightly, pupils dilating just the tiniest bit to drown out the golden flecks in his eyes as he processed that statement. “Rey…” He started to say something else, but then he disappeared before her eyes, and she was only left with a mutual feeling of disappointment.

Rey collapsed back into her mattress in the aftermath of their connectionwith a groan, feeling a new sort of frustration she hadn’t felt… well, ever. At least, she hadn’t felt it in recent memory, and the closest thing she could describe to it had been how she felt after Luke interrupted their conversation in her hut. That feeling had driven her to leave Ahch To and flee to find Ben the last time she’d felt it, and now that they were actually married and knew each other better, she could only wonder where it would take her this time.

Not wanting to give herself the chance to think about it and do something brash, Rey threw back her sheets, and dressed for the day, finding herself again in darker tones than usual. In fact, this time, the drapings she put on over her shirt were black, flowing at her sides in a way reminiscent of what her husband tended to wear.

She froze at that thought as she wrapped it around herself, wondering if it made it obvious what she’d done two days earlier, but then shook it off. The best way to not act suspicious was to stop thinking about what would make her suspicious… and to stop thinking about Ben’s clothes.

A few minutes later, Rey headed into the commissary, allowing herself to sit with Finn, Poe, and Rose this time when she found them gathered at a central table laughing amongst themselves. All three of them greeted her warmly with smiles wide on their faces as she sat down, sliding her tray into the spot in front of her as she took a sip of her caff.

“She lives!” Poe cried delightedly, clapping his hands together. “You feeling better today, Rey?”

“Yeah, I am, thanks,” she replied, giving Poe a half-hearted, but genuine smile. He was a bit invasive at times, and perhaps too enthusiastic, but the commander generally meant well — as long as he didn’t find out about her highly disallowed but weirdly legal marriage — and he did care about his friends. When he asked if someone was okay, he really wanted to find out, and wouldn’t settle for a fine if it wasn’t the true answer. “Sorry about yesterday, I had a lot on my mind.”

He shrugged. “Happens to the best of us, so… since I’ve got the three of you here… I need to talk to all of you about Canto Bight.”

Rey’s face went pale, and when she looked at Rose, the smaller woman was also wide eyed. “What about it?” Rose asked, casually propping her head up on her hand as her elbow rested on the table.

“I thought we had the money to secure proper funding, but we’re a little bit short,” he explained, then he cleared his throat. “I talked to the general last night, and she agrees the four of us work well together. The three of you know Canto Bight, and I am… sometimes a decent negotiator.”

“Sometimes?” Finn asked disbelievingly, then he, Rey, and Rose shared a laugh at their commander’s expense. “I’m kidding. Go on.”

“Thanks for the support, buddy.” Poe nudged his friend’s arm gently, then he leaned on his forearms against the table. “But basically, it’s the four of us needed for this mission. I’ve found another potential money source, he just wants to meet me in person. Doesn’t trust anything else, which I understand, so…”

No way, there was no way. It was too good to be true. When Poe had suggested a mission initially, she’d been panicked about the stalling of the investigation, but if he was implying what she thought he was implying… She might have a snowball’s chance at figuring out what had happened between herself and Ben Solo in that casino. “You’re suggesting we go back?”

Poe nodded. “Yeah, I am. We’re going back to Canto Bight, as long as everyone’s comfortable with it.”

Again her eyes went straight to Rose, both women barely hiding smiles as they nodded, then glanced at Poe. “We’re in,” they said at the same time, and Rey chuckled at the thought that maybe she was bound to her friend as well.

“Me too,” Finn replied, then he shrugged. “I’m practically your right hand man anyway.”

Poe gave him a wink, then he looked at the others. “Alright, then, it’s settled. I’ll have one more talk with Leia at lunch, then let you all know when we depart. Should be sometime early tomorrow morning if I have my way. Start packing your things when we’re done here.” They all shared a nod, then Poe grinned. “In the meantime… let’s enjoy some good ass food.”

Rose snorted. “Please, this is far from good food.”

“It’s not, but we’ve all had worse,” Rey pointed out, then the rest of the table hummed their assent as they dug into the mediocre, but edible food.

Her heart was still racing as she sat at the table eating with her friends. It was too good to be true, but they were going back to the place where this all started, and if ever there was a perfect chance for her to find out what had happened on the glamorous planet, it was to return. She’d heard from Poe himself that the best way to recall forgotten memories was to return to the place where she’d made them. Hopefully they’d be staying in the same casino, and even more importantly, she hoped with both sides of the force that no one there recognized her… or chose to ask her about her marriage in front of the commander.

It was going to be incredibly risky, going to Canto Bight, but if she could figure out what had happened, and — unfortunately — a way to end it, then maybe she stood half a chance at surviving.

She glanced at Rose as Poe dragged Finn into a conversation about X-wing mechanics. The two of them exchanged a nod in a silent acknowledgment that they would most certainly need to talk later. There were more logistics to this trip than either woman realized, and hiding the marriage from Poe would become extra difficult, even if it would be that much easier to bring to an end.

Pain shot through her again at the prospect of ending the marriage and she only just resisted slamming her palm into her forehead. _What the hell was wrong with her?_ She needed to want this. It was dangerous beyond belief — and maybe that was why she felt the way she did, because she couldn’t quite grasp the danger — and on top of that were they even ready for a marriage? No they were not. This was an accident, through and through.

Besides, even if she wanted to be married to him — which she was steadily acknowledging that a part of her did — did she really want it to be like that?

Another part of her supplied the thought that maybe once she remembered she would feel differently. Especially given what she was already able to recall. Already the night they married seemed softer, more tender and genuine than any other accidental Canto Bight marriage she’d ever heard of, and maybe they’d actually had a halfway decent reason to have done what they did.

That night when she met up with Rose, though, she was less sure about ending the marriage than ever, which she thought was absolutely ridiculous. She wasn’t even sure she was in love with him and hadn’t even entertained the thought until her friend brought it up the night before.

They sat in Rose’s bunk this time, with Rey pacing back and forth between the bed and the far wall as they talked through the possibilities of the new Canto Bight mission beneath the sound of the pouring rain slamming into the roof of the base. “I think our biggest problem is people recognizing you,” Rose pointed out, then she casually bit her lower lip. “If you walk past people you met that night… you’ll have to hope they don’t remember you.”

“It is a casino,” Rey replied, continuing her pacing. “Everyone there was as drunk as we were.”

“Don’t rely on that.”

“I know, but there’s… a chance, and I don’t want to give myself the opportunity to panic,” she said, then Rose nodded in understanding. “What I need to do is figure out where I went, and how much free time Poe is giving us on this mission.”

A slight smirk grew on Rose’s face, then she held up a finger. “It’s Poe, and he can’t resist having a little fun. If he gets his objective safely, he’s going to want to stick around and party for a minute.”

“That’s true.”

“And on top of that, just being there has to help. Have you told Kylo about it yet?” she asked.

Rey blinked at her disbelievingly. “You _want_ me to tell Kylo?”

Another shrug. “I don’t, but you said you had a truce, and I figured since you… for whatever reason… seem to care about him, you’d let him know.”

She nodded slowly, crossing her arms over her chest as she finally stopped pacing, leaning back against the far wall. “I plan to, I just don’t know when.”

“Well, you better do it soon, we’re going to be in hyperspace probably at this time tomorrow.” Rose leaned forward on her bed, then she sighed as she met Rey’s eyes. “How’s it going by the way? With him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you told him anything yet?” Rose asked, gesturing a bit excitedly. “I mean… Does he know?”

Did he? He might’ve figured it out by that point. Sure, she’d gotten onto him about how loudly he was projecting _his_ emotions onto the bond, but… she was just as loud if not louder, and at that point, whatever they were feeling was floating in the space between them — which was, admittedly, an extremely large amount of space — were definitely visible in a sense. Acknowledging them on the other hand… that was something neither of them were prepared to do with one another.

“He might,” Rey told her in the end, then she groaned as her head came in contact with the wall. “This was much simpler when it was just about ending a marriage.”

“You can’t control who you love, Rey,” Rose reminded her, then she stood up, and crossed her arms as she stood in the space between them. “It just… happens most of the time.”

“I don’t even know if I _am_ in love with him yet.”

“But you feel something. I think when we get to Canto Bight… you’ll have your answer.”

Rey swallowed nervously, then she gave a small yawn. “It’s getting late. We need to be up early,” she said, then she moved past Rose to head back to her own bunk, but was stopped when the other woman grabbed her wrist. “What?”

“I know it’s scary, but I’ll be there with you the whole way,” she said, then she let go of Rey’s wrist. “And it’s probably not as bad as you think.”

Nodding quietly, Rey slipped out of Rose’s bunk, and walked into the hallway, feeling an overwhelming and weird mixture of fear, dread, excitement, and happiness fighting for battle within her mind. She was so distracted, she was fairly certain she didn’t actually see or hear anything that was going on around her as she walked through the corridors of the Resistance base back to her own bunk.

This meant she didn’t register it at all when the force hummed around her, and all noise almost seemed to drown itself out as Ben was suddenly walking alongside her. _What was that Rose was saying about telling him?_

She didn’t even hear that he was trying to call out her name until they were midway down another hall, and she felt his hand on her harm. “Rey,” he breathed, and finally she spared him a glance, looking at him almost out of the corner of her eye as she walked. “Are you alright?”

Rey nodded, then she continued walking down the hall with him at her side, trying not to think about how she wished he was actually walking at her side rather than just being a projection of himself. “I’m fine, I was just… thinking,” she replied, hoping with all the force that he couldn’t sense her emotions.

“About what?”

“I’ve been assigned my mission,” she told him, then she took in a deep breath. “I’m going with a small group tomorrow morning.”

Ben’s curiosity flooded her mind, warm and light unlike the dark side he claimed to belong to. _How odd._ “Where are they sending you?”

“Canto Bight,” she told him, then they both stopped walking, and she turned to face him full on, watching the surprise fill his features. A small hint of a smile crossed his face, and a feeling not unlike what she felt toward him came in through the bond. She could feel heat flood her entire body at the realization of what it was, followed shortly after by fear of any sort of confirmation that the feeling of attraction was mutual.

“Canto Bight?” he asked in response, a hint of a smile growing on his lips, but quickly ending when he cleared his throat. “That… that will make things…”

“Both easier and difficult.”

“How will it make things more difficult?” He looked between her eyes for a moment before he stepped back, realizing the potential difficulties she’d encounter at the casino. “People might recognize you.”

“In front of Poe and Finn,” she told him nervously, then she looked up and down the hall to be sure no one else was there before she stepped closer to him. “And one of those two could cause us trouble if they find out. It’s risky, but I’m… I’m hopeful I’ll be able to figure everything out before they do.”

There was a pause, then Ben looked down at the ground. “By figure everything out, you mean… end it?” His voice was so soft as he spoke, it was almost a whisper, and she felt an ache in her heart that she couldn’t tell who it originated from. All she knew was she was in pain from the way he asked that question with a hopeful lilt in his voice that suggested he wanted the opposite.

Rey nodded slowly, swallowing back the lump she was feeling in her throat. “Yeah, I do… we… we have to end it… I… I want to end it, don’t you?” she asked, not meaning a single word of what she was saying in that sentence. A vague part of her wondered if he could tell that she was lying, or if he somehow managed to miss it. She felt like she was screaming her true feelings at him. It was as if her brain was yelling _No, I don’t want to end this and I never do,_ loud enough to project it across galaxies, let alone just the one.

Still she had to try and lie to him. The marriage was a risk to their lives at the end of the day, and she’d rather have Ben be alive and unattached to her than married to her and dead. Besides, they still had the bond, didn’t they? Unless she ruined it with what she was saying to him now.

As she watched, Ben’s mouth twitched in that specific way only belonging to him, and she almost smiled from how endearing she found it before he began to nod. “Yeah, I do… We have to…” He looked up at her, steeling his expression even as she could feel that same ache within his chest and she realized with absolute certainty that he was feeling as conflicted about this as she was, and he… he felt something for her, too. “For our safety.”

_But not because we want to._

Rey adjusted the drapings over her top unnecessarily, then tilted up her chin a little to try and display more pride than she was feeling as she felt her own heart breaking in her chest. “For our safety…” she said, then she reached up a hand, almost as if to caress his cheek, but then let it fall limply to her side. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he replied, his voice sounding heavy with emotions she couldn’t name, as if he were saying something else behind those words.

“If I had known we’d end up here, I would’ve just ignored you in that casino, but I let my emotions get the best of me, and --”

“Rey,” he put up a hand to stop her, and she saw the outline of his ring through the thick leather of his glove. It was only a small, insignificant bump to others, but she knew what caused it, and another little wave of pain washed through her. “It was my fault just as much as it was yours. You don’t have to blame yourself. I didn’t even really need to be there…”

“You didn’t?”

“No… I was… I was just… contemplating things,” he admitted, sounding like he wanted to say worlds more, but he didn’t have the courage to say it.

Stepping forward again, she realized she was perhaps a bit too close to him, but they’d been closer in her bed that morning, or on their wedding night two days before that. “Did you figure it out?”

“I can’t remember,” he replied, but she could tell he was lying just as she’d lied when she’d told him she didn’t want to stay married a minute earlier. It became clear to her that if she could tell he wasn’t telling the truth, he could tell when she wasn’t either.

Heart racing at this revelation, she allowed herself to touch him, then, brushing her hand against his briefly before she began to walk ahead, feeling his gaze on her the entire time she walked, feeling almost as if she were about to cry. This time it was she who neutralized her expression, forcing herself to maintain her composure as she walked down the hall toward her bunk, hearing the bond disconnect as she rounded the corner.

The moment Rey got into her bunk, the tears sprang to her eyes, and she collapsed onto her bed as they fell onto her cheeks, the lump in her throat threatening to break free as she stared up at the plain gray ceiling. Shuddering breaths left her lungs as she processed what had just happened between herself and Ben.

He cared for her just as much as she cared for him, and if he was anything like her, he’d cared for her long before they’d run into one another a few days earlier and decided to get married. She’d harbored some sort of feelings for him ever since Ahch To, and there had been a moment in the elevator back on the Supremacy where she’d thought he was going to lean in and kiss her for the first time, but… He’d waited until they were both drunk off their asses and still managed to make it so tender and sweet it broke through the haze of alcohol for her to remember it.

Rey groaned out loud as she slung an arm over her eyes, feeling more tears squeeze out from her cheeks as she fought back the sob that threatened to burst forth from her throat. She searched for something, anything to distract her, but found nothing, leaving her with only the thoughts of Ben and the love they definitely shouldn’t have had for each other.

Eventually, she gave up, and closed her eyes, figuring she could at least try and get a few hours’ rest before she had to be up in the morning to go back to where they’d been married with Poe to end her marriage.

A few seconds later, though, she heard the faint tricklings of music in her ears, and she held onto that sound, listening to the smooth, jazz sounding notes as they trickled in from somewhere beyond the walls of her room. No, not just the walls of her room, they came from beyond the base, off in the far reaches where Canto Bight sat in revolution around a star like most planets did as the rich partied in its glamorous lights.

It came from a memory.

_His hand was at her back, a hand gripping hers as they swayed across a balcony, listening to the music from below. Smiles were on both of their faces as he held her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead as the music swelled in the background. A cool breeze blew her hair from her shoulders, and as he pulled away, she found herself wishing that it would always be like this, that their time there never had to come to an end._

_“I’m sorry I’m so drunk,” she slurred, finding it difficult to keep her head still on her neck, or to look at him with anything more than hooded eyes. “I would be a better dancer otherwise.”_

_“No, me too,” he replied, giving her a light hearted chuckle. “But one day, I’ll have to teach you properly how to dance. We’ll go somewhere else, somewhere no one will know who we are, and I’ll show you everything I know.”_

_“And what do you know?” she asked, imagining it wasn’t much. He hadn’t exactly gotten around the galaxy by dancing his way through it._

_“You forget who my mother is.” He spun her out in a dizzying, unexpected twirl that had her giggling in delight as she spun back into his arms. “She made sure I knew.”_

_Rey nodded. “That makes a bit more sense,” she said, then she hummed contentedly, resting her head against his chest as they kept swaying. “But for now… this… this is nice, I’m… I’m glad we did this…”_

_“Me too.”_

_“Ben?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_She pulled away from him, then, and stood up on the tips of her toes, leaning forward to press another kiss to his lips that he quickly returned as his hand came up from where it held hers to cup her jaw, deepening the kiss as the music grew more soft and slow in the distance. A waltz was playing now, but Rey didn’t care. All she could think about was how wonderful it felt to kiss him, how right it was that the two of them were finally together instead of separated by lightyears of space._

_“I love you,” she told him quietly as she pulled away, then he smiled as he kissed her again in what must’ve been the shortest, but most passionate kiss known to the galaxy._

_Rey was grinning as he leaned his forehead against hers, then he sighed, his breath ghosting over her lips as he replied with, “I love you, too.” Then they continued swaying to the tune of an old waltz, the rest of the galaxy lost on them through a buzz of emotions and alcohol._

In her bunk on the Resistance base, Rey reached for the ring she hid in her shirt, gripping it tightly in her hand as she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. It was love that had driven them to do what they did, and she now knew that with as much certainty as he did. She could sense him across the galaxy, his gloves now removed as he, too laid down in bed, and twirled his ring around his finger.

Taking in another deep breath, she joined him, slipping the necklace from her neck, and slid her ring onto her finger, admiring the way it looked on her hand before she held it against her chest, and closed her eyes, blinking away more tears as sleep began to take over, dragging her away from this day into the next-- into the morning she would return to Canto Bight.

_Into the day she planned to reluctantly end her marriage._


	6. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, folks, just a quick announcement that this is definitely going to be longer than ten chapters, I'll update it with the next one. Catch y'all later.

The next morning, Rey’s ring was back to being worn as a necklace, and she was dressing quickly, hoping for a minute in the commissary before Poe finally decided to come for them and tell them it was time. Again she dressed in darker colors, though it had more to do with her mood than it did anything else. She swallowed back a lump in her throat as she tightened the leather of her belt around her waist, clipping her lightsaber to it as she tried desperately not to think about what they’d done the night before. 

_ “I want to end it? Don’t you?” _ she’d asked him in the worst lie she’d ever told another human. Instant regret had filled her then, and it was renewed in her veins now. If it were possible, she knew what she wanted — what they both wanted if they’d ever just admit it to one another. They both wanted to be together, but… as long as Ben had himself trapped within the throes of the First Order and she was ranking high with the Resistance… they couldn’t be. 

Even if they wanted to leave either of their sides, escaping would be difficult, especially for Ben. He was the Supreme Leader, and a man like that couldn’t escape undetected. It’d be damn near impossible. Rey barely resisted the urge to throw her fist into a wall, but held herself back at the last second. She had a mission, and she needed to focus. 

Not allowing herself anymore time to wallow in self-pity for a man she couldn’t have, Rey made her way out of her bunk, forcing herself to not think about him as best she could. 

That mission, however, was a failed endeavor. As she walked through the hallway toward the commissary, Rey couldn’t stop thinking of that last conversation between them. She had feelings for him, he had feelings for her, but love wasn’t going to be enough to save their lives if she caved in and let him think she didn’t want to end it as badly as he didn’t want to. 

The two of them would cause a galaxy to burn if they stayed together. 

In the commissary, Rey was greeted to what felt like an overwhelming silence, or maybe it just felt that way because she felt so hopeless. There was something deep between herself and Ben, and it had started a few months ago halfway across the galaxy and been brought to reality in Canto Bight. But doing anything about it would mean death for them both, and she’d rather have Ben alive and far away than close and dead. 

She’d said she wanted to end it, but what she’d wanted to say was “ _ I love you, _ ” more than anything. 

Rose sat down in front of her, but neither of them spoke. Apparently Rey gave off such a strong aura of sorrow that she sucked the life out of everyone around her, because when she met her friend’s eyes, she looked just as sad as she felt. 

It took a good ten minutes of just sitting there, eating their food, and occasionally staring at each other before one of them finally caved, and that occurred in the form of Rose groaning, and setting down the cup of caff she had. “Are you okay?”

“What?” Rey asked, blinking at her like she was coming out of a daze. If she were being honest, she was. “Um… yeah, I’m fine.”

Rose nodded, then she slowly, cautiously inquired, “Did you talk to Kylo last night about where we’re going?”

“I did,” she replied, trying to keep her expression neutral as she spoke. “I told him I wanted to end it… That we have to end it.”

“Oh, Rey,” Rose breathed, reaching a hand across the table to hold hers. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s what’s best for us. We have to… we have to do it to survive…” She swallowed back the lump that threatened to form in her throat as she spoke. “I don’t want him to die because of me.”

“And I don’t want you to die either,” Rose reminded her, then she sighed, and shook her head. “Maybe someday you can be together… however that’ll work out. But… Rey I’ve seen you fight every battle and come out stronger on the other side. You’ll win this one… One way or another, you’ll beat this, I promise.”

Rey felt uplifted by Rose’s words, and squeezed the other woman’s hand while giving her a weak smile. “Thank you, but… I think I have to accept that after this marriage is over, I’ll be letting him go… It’s… This war is no place for love.”

“I’d argue that’s exactly what we need,” Rose protested, then she let go of Rey’s hand, and leaned against the table, crossing her arms over each other. “You know I told Finn when I saved his life on Crait that this was how we were going to win. Not by fighting what we hate…”

“Saving what we love,” Rey finished, then she met her friend’s gaze. “Yeah… I know, um… thank you, Rose.”

The other woman beamed. “You know you can always come to me for my infinite wisdom anytime.” The two of them then shared a laugh, and the cloud that had been following Rey around all morning finally started to lift itself a bit. Maybe one day she’d learn how to be okay with this, maybe one day she’d be able to ignore Ben’s pain in the back of her head as he, too tried to cope with feelings he shouldn’t have on the other side of the galaxy. 

An hour later, the summons came over their wrist coms for them to head to the hangar where all their ships were being kept. Rey and Rose walked through rows of X-wings toward the back where they were keeping the Falcon. She was still a little bit lost in her own head, still grappling with all she’d come to realize over the last few days, to the point where she almost didn’t notice that Poe nor Finn, who had claimed to already be by the infamous ship, were present in the hangar. 

“They said they’d be here,” Rose grumbled with a frown, then she pressed a button on her com, and raised her wrist to her mouth. “Commander, we’re waiting for you.”

There was a crackle of static, then Poe Dameron’s voice rang clear as a bell through the com, but it sounded a bit breathy. “Oh, you are? Finally, I got bored, sorry…” he replied, then they heard the slightly distant sound of an X-wing roof opening, and as Rey looked behind her, she saw Poe climbing out of one of the ships they’d walked past a minute ago. Not long after, Finn followed suit, both men looking disheveled as they made their way out of what was supposed to be a one man ship.

Jealousy shot through Rey as the two men walked side by side up to her and Rose, watching as Finn casually reached for Poe’s hand, gripping it casually in his as they approached. It wasn’t just jealousy, though, but raw, unfiltered pain was sweeping through her system as well. There was something about seeing what she could never have right in front of her when she’d only just started to try and accept it that made her have a passing thought about abandoning the mission and returning to her bunk to stall the end of her marriage for a few more days. 

Luckily, she clamped that thought down as Poe let go of Finn’s hand, and clapped his together with a smile on his face. “I spoke to the General just before coming here. She’s fully aware of what we’re doing, and we’ve been supplied accordingly. So… Here’s the plan,” he said, then he took in a deep breath. “Since we can only take the Falcon —thank you, Kylo Ren for blowing up half the kriffing fleet —” Rey winced at that one, then steeled herself again as she listened to the mission plan. “We’re going to land just outside of the city limits and hike in. We’ve got clothes waiting for us on the Falcon that bear no insignias so no one there can tie us to either side, except for… maybe anyone recognizing Rey…”

“Hmm,” she hummed casually, then Poe winked. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll give them hell if anyone says anything.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Great, once we’re there, it’s back to the hotels, we’ll potentially be here a night or two until we finish our objective. The potential provider we’ve found is… a little jumpy…”

“Jumpy how?” Rose asked, placing her hands on her hips. “As in possibly working both sides?”

Poe shook his head. “No, I think he genuinely wants to help, but he doesn’t want to accidentally sell it to a First Order officer and get himself arrested, which I get… Hell knows what they’d do to him.”

Again Rey winced, but in the last months she’d noticed the First Order had eased back its cruelty in the aftermath of Ben’s takeover. It still was far from perfect, but a lot of the policies that had flown under Snoke had been crushed. Despite their separation, he seemed to have been sticking true to his word about letting the past die, and now with the added truce between them...

“Anyway,” Poe continued, then he ran a hand through his hair. “That’s about it. We need to get there, get the objective done, and get out in as little time as we can. Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads, then Poe grinned. “Let’s move out.”

An hour later, they were rushing through hyperspace, and Rey was lying down alone in the bunk space twirling the hilt of her lightsaber in her hands. Finn and Poe were busy piloting while Rose was sitting down in the room just down the hall, flicking through files on a holopad to try and see if she could find anything else from the previous mission that would inform them of where she and Ben had gotten married. So far, she hadn’t been successful. Apparently navigating on a holopad was more difficult than anyone thought. 

All that left Rey to do was try to convince herself that she wanted this, that it needed to happen, and they’d both be safer that way. To keep Ben safe, their marriage had to die. 

She tried first convincing herself that they’d gotten married in kriffing Canto Bight, and no connection created like that could last. Sure, maybe the marriage had been born of a genuine connection between them, but they’d still done it in a casino, and she couldn’t even remember them saying their vows even if everything else  _ was _ starting to come back in bits and pieces. If they were to be married, a part of her wished they’d done it in a better way, but this reason seemed to be the only one that convinced her that any part of it was remotely a mistake. 

Every other one, for some reason, failed her miserably. 

Still she tried for almost half the trip trying desperately to convince herself she was doing the right thing, that she couldn’t be with him like that because of their positions and the risk. She gave up midway through, and decided to instead focus on what happened in Canto Bight. Maybe if her mind wanted so desperately to think about the wedding and Ben, she ought to do just that to see if she could recall a lick of what they’d done. 

For another hour, Rey sat there blanking completely on what had happened. She relived all of the memories she and Ben had recalled so far, trying to see if her brain would fill in the blanks between them, or at least assure her of their chronological order, but it was utterly useless. 

Eventually, she gave up on that, too, and just laid there in the bunk for a while, staring up at the ceiling. 

This ship had once been a part of her husband’s life, and he’d probably been raised on it, having Han Solo for a father. A smile came to her face as she conjured to mind the image of a little toddler Ben running around the falcon, his dark, wavy hair flying into his face as he laughed and giggled without knowledge of what would become of him. She pictured him with his family on the Falcon, not even out of the hopes of bringing up her own memories, but in curiosity of what he must’ve been like before Snoke found him and pulled him into the dark. 

His light must have shone brilliantly once. 

It was in that moment that she was thinking of him, of the young boy who had his happiness stolen by years of neglect and manipulation, that he appeared to her, sitting down on top of a nearby night stand and nodding attentively at something she couldn’t see. At least, he was until he seemed to notice the bond had connected, then his eyes were drifting around the room until he found her, then they widened for the tiniest hint of a second before he neutralized his expression, and continued staring ahead. 

_ Oh. _ She must have interrupted him in the middle of a meeting. Ben looked more focused than she’d ever seen him, his hands resting firmly on his lap and his brows furrowed just slightly in concentration. He was dressed in his usual black, but with an added leather cape that flowed onto the floor behind him, causing the fabric to pool on the Falcon’s floor. 

Rey’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but she couldn’t think of anything to say to him. They’d interrupted one another during meetings before — that had been how Leia had found out about the bond, after all — but now if she were to get his attention… She’d have to be careful about it given their extremely delicate situation, if she startled him, she could incite questions on his end that he wouldn’t be able to answer. She had to be smart about this, but she also had to talk to him. They still had things to discuss, and they never knew when they’d have the opportunities to discuss them. 

“I’m on my way back to Canto Bight,” she told him, then saw one of his eyebrows lift slightly. Good, he was listening, then. “I’m trying to remember as much as I can before I get there. Have you remembered anything else?”

He gave her the slightest, most subtle shake of his head she’d ever seen. 

“Neither have I… I’m growing frustrated.” She groaned as she leaned her head further back into the pillow supporting it. “... I’m just trying to save both of our lives…”

Ben’s eyes flickered over to her direction, then, and his mouth shifted as he processed what she said. Through their bond, she could feel a nervous sort of excitement running through him, and he looked like he desperately wanted to say something, but he was at risk, he was in public. 

“Are you in a meeting?” she asked.

Another very, very tiny nod. 

“I take it it’s boring?”

A nod, then he spoke.“General, I think our resources are best spent trying to maintain negotiations instead of tracking down the Resistance,” he said in response to someone she couldn’t see, sounding exasperated. “It’d be a waste of time, their numbers are dwindling. They aren’t much of a threat to us anymore.” He glanced at Rey briefly, then he continued. “I’m not going to waste time pursuing an enemy that no longer bears significance so you can continue your pissing contest with Poe Dameron.”

Rey gave him an amused chuckle, the feeling running mutually through the bond. “Tell me, is that smarmy bastard stuttering and fuming?”

Another subtle nod.

“Thank you, though… for honoring the truce between us… I know… I sensed you last night. You were upset after our last conversation,” she said, knowing precisely why he’d been upset —she felt the same way, after all -- but not wanting to bring it up. “This has been difficult on the both of us.”

“Yes,” he replied, though whether it was to her or to someone else he was with, she wasn’t sure. 

Another few minutes passed before either of them spoke again, and she closed her eyes, building up the courage to say something, anything to him before he faded away. “Ben… I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I… I know you feel it, too, but we have to do this. We don’t have another choice.”

Nod. 

“Maybe someday when all this is over, we should meet again… In person… just to talk…” She swallowed nervously, then glanced over at him to find him struggling to keep his face impassive. Those feelings of heartbreak from the night before were swelling within them both anew. 

“Maybe…” he said quietly, then he shook his head, addressing someone else. “Thinking out loud, General.”

Another tiny grin crossed Rey’s features, and she watched as the corner of his mouth tilted up too for a fraction of a second. “Hopefully I’ll be able to remember more once I’m there… It’d be nice to remember what happened, no matter what.”

The tiniest nod yet, then he met her gaze for a few seconds before his eyes drifted down to his left hand, which she could see the outline of his ring through the leather covering his fingers. Without hesitating, she reached up, and pulled her own out of her shirt. She didn’t put it on, but she held it in the palm of her closed fist, watching as Ben’s attention was again captured by his meeting. 

“I… Even after we disband this… Ben? I hope you survive… I don’t…”  _ I don’t want to be alone again _ , went unsaid, in part because she lost her courage, and in part because he faded away before she got the chance to get it back. 

After he was gone, Rey sat up straight in the bed, wiping a tear she hadn’t even noticed forming from her eye as she placed the necklace back into her shirt, feeling as if the warmed, golden band was on fire against her skin as she sat there in the bunk, wishing she’d told him more. She didn’t even get time to process what she did say, though, because just seconds after the bond closed and she tucked her ring away, she heard a quiet voice whisper, “ _ What the hell? _ ” behind her.

Whipping around, she found herself face to face with a shell-shocked Rose, who was staring at her with a holopad looking as if it were going to fall from her hands at any second. “Rose!” she squeaked, quickly getting to her feet. 

“Were you just talking to… air?” Rose asked, her brows furrowing in curiosity. “I’m just… I’m confused… It sounded like you were talking to someone but… they weren’t there… and who’s Ben, anyway?”

_ Kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff. _

Rey’s heart was pounding in her chest, her mind scrambling to come up with a solution for what to do as she thought through every possible lie she could tell. If she’d used the name Kylo, perhaps she could have told Rose that she was just practicing saying something to him, but she’d said Ben, and on top of that, she didn’t know how much her friend had heard. 

“Would you believe me if I said I was?” she asked, then Rose shook her head, and Rey groaned as she sat down on the edge of the bunk. “I… Ben is… Kylo Ren…”

“Oh?” Rose walked over to the bed, and sat down beside her, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for Rey to continue. “Is that a nickname or something?”

A good minute or two went by as she internally warred with herself over how to respond to that, then she took in a deep breath, and stared directly ahead. “It’s his name. His birth name… Kylo Ren is an alias.”

Rose blinked a few times in disbelief, then she seemed to accept it for a few seconds. Her expression then shifted rapidly, though, to recognition. “Wait… you said — no — the record said your last name was Solo.”

Maybe according to the public, Ben Solo was dead, but his name was still known. Rose was putting two and two together, likely recognizing the similarities between Kylo Ren, the General, and Han Solo, putting together the pieces to a little known puzzle. Reyswallowed her fear. “I did.”

“Ben Solo?” Rose asked, then a bunch of gears visibly turned and clicked in her brain. “That’s the thing about him I don’t know isn’t it? He was… he was the general’s son.”

“He is, and yes, he’s alive,” Rey corrected, then she inhaled slowly. “But… more than that. Before I met you… something strange started happening. We started appearing in front of one another from halfway across the galaxy… and… we’ve talked…”

“That’s why you know so much about him, isn’t it? That’s why you’re…” Rose paused, seeming to not know what to say for a few seconds before she scoffed lightly. “Wow… are you… telepathic or something?”

“No… it’s the force,” Rey replied, then she looked at where Ben had been a moment earlier. “It’s how I’ve been communicating with him.”

Rose slowly seemed to be understanding what was happening, and Rey let her process it for a minute as they sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence. “So you’re married to… the general’s son?”

“I am.”

“... Leia Organa is your kriffing mother in law…” Rose breathed, then both women giggled. “You really couldn’t have picked a more complicated person to marry, could you?”

Rey gave her a weak smile. “No, I don’t think so…” Another pause, then, “Rose, I almost told him… I really wanted to tell him, but…”

“But you can’t,” Rose finished. 

“This is getting more and more difficult by the day.”

“It’s only been three, hasn’t it?” 

_ Three days?  _ All of this had transpired over a mere three days? Rey couldn’t believe it. An eternity had to have passed since the wedding she couldn’t remember, but it had barely been half a week.  _ Kriff.  _ Maybe it felt like longer because she’d realized she had feelings for him long before their wedding, or maybe it was that so much had happened, but either way, she couldn’t believe it. “That’s incredible.”

“Yeah, it is,” Rose replied, then she sat up straighter. “Anyway, I came to tell you, I found the shop you bought your rings at. It’s a couple blocks away from the casino we’re meeting Poe’s contact at. We can probably sneak away for a minute and investigate?”

Rey nodded. “I’d like that, I… that would really help me, thank you.”

“Always… I’m gonna see if I can find which chapel — by the way, there are sixty — you went to before we get there, but… can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You don’t seem to want to do this,” Rose observer, then Rey met her gaze, feeling worry pulse through her veins at what her friend might say next. “Does he still want to?”

Rey worked to maintain eye contact, looking into Rose’s hopeful, concerned eyes with what she didn’t doubt was fear in hers. “I don’t think he does, no, I… I can feel it.”

“I… I think you need to talk to him about it. Maybe you shouldn’t be married, maybe you should, but… you both clearly want to be together.”

“ _ What?” _ Rey asked, her voice bordering on a squeak. 

“Rey, we’re at war, and every day could be our last. You never know what’s going to happen on Canto Bight when we get there, or any moment after,” Rose explained, then she turned to face Rey completely. “What I’m saying is, don’t waste your time never knowing what it would be like to be together, just be careful with how you do it.”

Rose was right. She was entirely too correct. They both seemed to be pining for one another, both of them seeming to see what happened in a chapel they couldn’t remember as a catalyst for their feelings for one another. Neither had verbally spoken about it, but they both knew. Even in that moment when she was talking to Rose, she could feel the longing on Ben’s end of the bond drifting through to her. 

They both felt something that Rey knew too well could be considered love, and though he was still the supreme leader and he was still on another side of the war, what ran between them was deeper than that. It was forged in the force itself, and no matter what they did they would never truly be alone, but…

She sure as hell would feel like it until she told him, and it was like Rose said; she didn’t want to die not knowing what it was like to love and be loved by Ben. 

“Okay,” Rey said, then she took in a nervous, shaky breath. “You’re right.”

“I am?” Rose asked excitedly. 

Rey hesitated, but slowly exhaled. “Next time I see him, I’ll… I’ll talk to him.”

“Good. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, I’m happy for you… even if I find your choice in romantic partners…  _ interesting  _ to say the least.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“No problem.”

“But we do still need to figure out how to end it. Something tells me both our lifespans will be longer if we do.”

Rose was grinning at her then. “That sounds like a great idea. You can always get married again later.”

“Marrying the same person twice,” Rey muttered, finding the notion ridiculous. 

“Think about it this way, you’d get the chance to do it  _ right _ ,” Rose told her. “And remember it.”

“But What if we already did do it right?” She leaned back against the mattress, thinking about what they’d told one another during their waltz that wasn’t really a waltz. “Last night I remembered a bit more.”

“ _ Oh? _ ” 

“I told him I loved him.”

Rose’s jaw dropped at this. “Did he say it  _ back? _ ’ When she saw Rey’s nod, she scoffed in surprise. “Well… you were both drunk… I hate to say it, but—“

“No, we weren’t that far gone yet. I think we had more to drink  _ after  _ the dance and the wedding.” It still amazed her sometimes, using the words wedding, marriage, and husband to describe things pertaining to herself. Only a few days had passed, but it still felt like a really weird but good dream she’d never expected to have. 

Her friend hesitated for a second, then she stood up, and gripped her holopad tightly. “Then I think the only reason to end it if your safety, but it’s up to you,” she said, giving Rey a warm, genuine smile as she began to make her way out of the room. “I’m going to go see if I can track down that chapel… and Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“If you talk to him again, remember.  _ Tell him.” _

All Rey gave in response was a tiny hum of acknowledgement, then she watched her walk away, leaving the Jedi alone in the bunk once more. 

Newly alone, Rey began to twirl the lightsaber in her hands again, watching the metal hilt spin around her hand effortlessly. Her mind turned to the prospect of telling Ben how she felt, of confessing what she’d kept inside and let brew since one night in a hut on Ahch To. How would he react to what she had to say? Would he immediately say it back like he had on Cantonica? How would she handle hearing it from him? 

Most importantly, how would either of them handle actually being in a relationship behind the backs of either of their respective sides? Even if they dissolved the marriage, it would be phenomenally dangerous. They’d both still be at risk. They’d have to be careful about it, speaking only when they were one hundred percent sure they were alone. If there was even a chance someone else was present, speaking wouldn’t be an option, much less… 

_ Oh Kriff, if she told him, would he kiss her again? _

Would kissing him sober and lucid make her head spin as much as kissing him drunk? She had a feeling it would be even better, but still she warred with herself. 

These feelings were completely new and foreign. Drunk Rey had obviously told him what she felt, but sober Rey had no idea how she did it. How did one put into words that they loved the man they were married to and wanted to be with him? What the hell could she tell him? 

What she felt almost transcended words. It soared above all her knowledge of languages and surrounded her with confusion, but it was the most real and clear thing she’d ever experienced. Telling him that was going to be terrifying, but if she really, truly loved Ben, he deserved to hear it.  

They made landfall on Cantonica three hours later, and as she changed into a non-descript black ensemble that Poe had brought with them in the name of blending in, she was still overwhelmed with conflict. It didn’t help that Rose had approached her as they broke through the atmosphere to let her know that she hadn’t yet successfully found the location of which chapel she’d been married at. She wasn’t too disappointed, though. Her friend had spent most of the remaining time on their journey taking a much needed rest break, and Rey couldn’t blame her. They didn’t get that kind of chance often these days. 

The sun was starting to go down over the city of Canto Bight by the time they parked the Falcon in a little field five miles outside of the city, and as she, Rose, Finn, and Poe piled out of it, each of them looked more exhausted than the last. The only reason, Rey suspected, that no one completely collapsed was the mission at hand, and somehow remembering that seemed to help the four man crew trek the miles toward the casinos, glamor, and shining lights. 

Darkness slowly fell as they made their way through the terrain outside of where just three maybe four days ago, Rey and Ben had gotten married. Rose and Poe walked a ways ahead while Rey stayed a bit behind, and walked side by side with Finn. To this day, he still wore the jacket he’d retrieved from a burning TIE on Jakku, the one that had once belonged to Poe, but he’d accepted as a gift. The commander had been right in his telling of how they’d met and become friends; it suited him. 

“You and Poe,” she said suddenly, interrupting the silence that had accompanied them thus far on their walk. “When did that start?”

Finn laughed, then he turned his eyes on Rey. “Yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… we… I wanted to tell you, but… you looked pretty distracted last time I saw you,” he said, then concern filled his gaze. “Is everything okay?”

The answer to that question was complicated; both yes and no fit it a little too perfectly. Physically, she was fine, mentally, maybe a little bit less— no thanks to the battle she was waging within herself over how to handle telling her husband she loved him. “It’s fine.”

But Finn wasn’t stupid. He was her first friend that had actually stuck around and gotten to know her— the first person she really bonded with. He was the reason she’d finally left Jakku, and probably new her best aside from maybe Rose as of late. Those were probably the reasons he could sense the lie in her voice immediately, and didn’t hesitate to call her out on it. “You don’t sound like it.”

“I’m fine… I just… I've just been thinking about the past few months is all,” she told him, another lie he picked up on quickly. 

“Rey…”

“I’d prefer not to discuss it, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” Finn replied, then he shrugged. “Tell me when you’re ready?”

She thought about it for a minute, then she smiled. “Yeah, I’ll tell you… one day.” Maybe when she and Ben had figured themselves out and the war was over she’d say everything. Maybe then things could be different, and she wouldn’t be struggling so hard to say anything. 

They fell quiet after that until the four of them walked into the city, then once they were within the perimeter of the lights, Poe guided them toward the casino — the very same one Rey had met Ben at. Her heart raced as she made her way past the front where she’d first seen him, and they’d drawn their weapons on each other. It had been her last clear memory, and even now she could hear their sabers buzzing and cracking in the evening air. 

_ “You!”  _ she could hear her own voice shouting faintly as they walked. If she closed her eyes, she could see herself withdrawing her saber. She wasn’t sure why she was so angry, but perhaps the emotion stemmed from something else in hindsight. Rey just remembered feeling hurt, betrayed, and angry, remembering what he’d done the last time she’d seen him. 

When she came at Ben with her lit saber, though, he had hesitated before lighting his, igniting it only in self defense. Their battle hadn’t even gotten intense— she remembered now thanks to Rose’s found footage — before it was stopped, then…

_ “What are you doing here?” Ben was asking as she stalked angrily through the casino, keeping pace with her even as she speed walked away from the scene of their near fight.  _

_ “Don’t talk to me,” she growled, then he scoffed.  _

_ “Rey, you’re the one who attacked me first,” he pointed out, sounding more exasperated than he did angry. For some reason, that only made her more furious. Did he not remember how things ended? Why was Kylo Ren, whom she’d seen at his most emotionally volatile, so kriffing calm? It was the most puzzling thing she’d ever seen, and all she could think to do was throw him an obscene gesture she’d seen in a holo once, giving him her middle finger in hopes he’d take offense and leave.  _

_ No such luck.  _

_ “Would you please just talk to me?” he said quietly, his voice begging, almost pleading as they continued walking through the expanse of the casino. The damn thing was massive, but not large enough to stop him from talking to her. _

_ “No.” _

_ “Rey—“ _

_ “No.” _

_ “I need to talk to you about Crait—“ _

_ “Should’ve come with me then.” _

_ “Rey—“ _

That had gone on for a while, the bickering. If memory served they bickered all the way to the extreme far end of the casino, but the rest had been too fuzzy for her to remember, except… at some point she had stopped, and he’d stopped with her, and the argument had become a conversation. At some point they’d walked into a bar, gotten drunk, and somehow wound up kissing and engaged. After that, they’d gone to the balcony — or maybe they’d gotten married first — and shared a dance. By the end of the night they had been married and their lives changed forever, even though it had started with the angry, sparking, clash of sabers. 

Rey was brought back to attention by Poe stopping them midway through, and clapping his hands together. “I’m going to get us into the hotel,” he said, then he began to give out orders to everyone else. “Finn, you com our guy, let him know we’re here, pretend to be me if you have to. Rey and Rose? Check for the first order’s presence. If you see actual stormtroopers instead of the usual rich, asshole supporters, notify me immediately and we’ll pull out. We all clear?” He looked at them all as he finished speaking, then he crossed his arms over his chest as he watched them nod. “Great. Meet back here in an hour, hopefully we’ll be able to leave by morning.”

“See you soon, Poe, Finn,” Rose said, then she and Rey gave the two men waves as they made their way back out of the casino. “Typical Poe, splitting us up so he conveniently gets to go off with Finn.”

Rey wasn’t really listening, though. She was still focused on her memories, on trying to recall what she’d lost. Maybe if she caught sight of the right thing while she was there, she’d somehow remember all of what had happened. It wasn’t until Rose’s hand wrapped around her wrist that she finally turned around. “What?”

“Why don’t we kill two birds with one stone?” her friend asked, letting go of the hold she had on her wrist. “The ring shop you bought your ring from isn’t far from here, we can scope for the first order and investigate that shop before Poe even notices we’re gone.”

The corners of her mouth lifted up. “That sounds perfect, but we’ll have to hurry,” she said, then both of them began to walk faster out of the casino. “I don’t want Poe to know where we’ve been.”

“He’ll never know,” Rose promised her. “Not if I can help it.” 

With that, the two women walked out of the casino, and onto the streets of Canto Bight, the lights of the city seeming brighter than ever as the investigation into Rey’s marriage kicked off its next step. 


	7. Balcony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm having computer issues so if this doesn't post right, forgive me. Google docs won't let me copy and paste so I had to use fucking Microsoft word and it may have also copied my comments into the text. I looked it all through thoroughly, but I still could've missed it so IF YALL SEE SHIT. SORRY.

The city was as loud and obnoxious as she remembered it being upon entering its boundaries. She and Rose walked side by side as subtly as they could, since the other woman stood a slight chance of being recognized by authorities in Canto Bight who might remember her from what she’d done with Finn. Still, it had been quite a few months since then, and with the chaos of the casinos, anyone remembering anything was a slimmer chance than usual.

Not that they wanted to push that risk, by any means, but it would certainly do them no good to be hiding every five seconds in fear. Poe had sent them on a task, and they were already running a risk by doing something else. In their defense, though, they were attempting to end a marriage that could potentially prove fatal to multiple people. If Rey became a target for the First Order after they came for Kylo, the whole Resistance was at risk.

There was another reason to end it. Her friends might get hurt, too.

Still as they walked down the street where Rose said the ring shop was, her heart was breaking into a million shards at the thought of doing it. Even if she and Ben did choose to continue a relationship, something felt horribly, horribly wrong when she thought about unbinding their names.

_Rey Solo._ It should’ve struck fear in her heart, made her recoil, but no it didn’t, and it never had. It never _would._ Her married name was already too dear to her to make her want to let go of it easily. All she could do was try to brace herself against the pain that was soon to come.

Rose was looking at her in concern as they walked into the shop, giving her a sad smile, and as Rey’s eyes landed on all of the couples — or occasionally it was just the lone individual hoping to surprise their partner — drunkenly shopping, she felt another wave of sadness wash over her. It echoed into the bond, and she knew Ben was feeling it, too. She wondered what he thought was happening, if he realized that she hadn’t yet done it or if he thought she’d managed to divorce them already.

_Not yet,_ she wanted to tell him, _I don’t want to._ Somehow, some way, she had a feeling he’d gotten the message, and his own sorrow eased itself from her mind.

“Okay, anything look familiar?” Rose asked her, interrupting her thoughts of Ben.

Rey looked around with a curious eye. The shop was definitely very familiar, the slightly pink hue of the lights, the golden trim lining the glass cases of various jewelry designed for the many, many species who visited the establishment. She found herself captivated by a young, dark skinned human woman standing behind a case with her hands folded nearly in front of her, dressed in a sleek white suit that had a black trim, and golden glitter on her eyelids, helping her to stand out amongst the small crowd of people in the store. “Her,” she said, then she watched Rose’s gaze fall upon the employee.

“Come on, let’s talk to her,” Rose said, then she tugged on Rey’s hand, and before she could protest, the two of them were walking in that direction. As they got closer to the woman, she cleared her throat.“Excuse me?”

The employee looked at Rose first, then at Rey, and her eyes lit up with recognition. “Ah, the future Mrs. Rey Solo,” she breathed, and Rey’s eyes became the size of saucers.

“ _What?_ ”

“That is what you and your fiance were calling you, correct?” she asked, voice thick with an accent Rey couldn’t recognize that sounded vaguely like a mix of her own and Rose’s with a pinch of something like Maz Kanata’s. “I assume you’ve said your vows?”

Gathering herself together, Rey gave her a rapid nod. “Yes, um, I have… but… I don’t remember it…” she explained, trying to find the words to explain her story even though she knew it perfectly well. Somehow saying it outloud was more harrowing than actually living it. She reasoned it was likely because she couldn’t remember a large portion of what had happened, and that was what made telling people about it so terrifying. “My husband and I… we weren’t sober when we were wed.”

“Oh we could all tell…” the woman assured her, then she shook her head. “We thought it was hilarious.”

“Well, it wasn’t hilarious to us!” Rey snarled, then she lowered her voice. “I’m sorry, but… he and I are not in a good position to be married… Our… _politics_ differ. I just… I need you to tell me what you saw, or maybe where we went?”

The woman nodded. “I can, certainly. You weren’t quite that drunk when you came in, I’d wager your blackout came from the drinks you had after your ceremony,” she told Rey, then she shrugged. “But when you came in here…” She paused, memories flashing behind her golden-lidded eyes as Rey watched her struggle to find words.

“What? What happened when I came in here?”

She placed her hands against the frame of the glass case, drawing Rey’s eyes briefly to the hundreds of glittering diamonds below. “The two of you were the most genuine thing I’d ever seen in all my years working here,” she said, her expression completely earnest, her saleswoman persona dropping for a second. “Normally we sell to poor drunken fools just to make money, but yours… the two of you were so foolishly in love we all thought that would be the one to last.”

Rey took a step back at the woman’s words, trying to recall something, anything about being in the shop. What had she and Ben done that made everyone believe they were so in love? “Alright where did we go next? Do you know?”

“I’m afraid I don’t, dear,” the woman told her, then she sighed. “But I can tell you most couples go from our shop directly to the nearest chapel three streets down. Take a left after that, and it’ll be on your right.”

“Really?” Rose and Rey asked at the same time, their voices full of a hopeful excitement that they might’ve just gotten their answer.

The woman gave them a nod. “It’s not a promise, but that’s your best chance,” she told them, then Rey was reaching for Rose’s hand, ready to drag them both off toward that chapel when they were stopped again. “I am sorry that you feel your marriage was a mistake… perhaps if your memories come to you… you won’t feel the same way.”

_Oh, you have no idea._ She’d only had a few memories come back to her now, but already she knew that she didn’t want to end it. The only reason she was still trying was because of the threat lingering over both herself and Ben if she let it continue. With one last nod to the woman, she finally tugged on Rose’s hand, and the two women were running through the streets toward the mysterious chapel.

Rey needed to find answers there, and she needed them more than anything. Even if she weren’t trying to undo what they’d done, she needed to know what happened — to try and trigger the memory of the wedding she’d never thought she’d get the chance to have. Faintly, she could hear her and Ben’s voices talking about how they’d never thought such a thing would be possible for them, and her heart broke a little for the two lonely people making their moonlit confession. They needed resolution, and that thought pushed away any reluctance she had lingering about her with regard to what she was doing. If she needed more excuses to stall the marriage’s end, she could find them later.

The chapel came upon them though before she was ready, looming with a golden frame and a sign indicating its title and purpose. At the moment, there was no one inside the small building, which from the view through its floor to ceiling windows, only had a few rows of seats leading up up a small stage where she presumed ceremonies might have taken place.

Again familiarity washed over her, along with flashes of hands reaching for hands, her laugh, his smile, and awkwardly fumbling for words to describe impossible feelings as she and Ben Solo stood in front of an audience of only three other people, the officiant and a couple they’d plucked off the street to be their witnesses. She knew instantly that this has been it — she’d gotten married here, and she couldn’t remember all of it, but it was enough for her to know that this was where her life had changed.

“See anything?” Rose asked, then she sighed from relief at Rey’s nod. “So… this is where you got married, huh?” They walked through the threshold of the open doors, which almost seem to be expecting them from how wide they’d been pulled.

Rey looked around, examining the building’s high ceilings and holographically projected candles dancing in the air above them, giving the whole thing an atmosphere that was almost magical. It was no wonder she’d wound up married here, it was beautiful.

At the end of the very brief aisle, there stood a male humanoid — who looked like he could be Poe’s brother save for the gills on his neck — dressed in some of the most extravagantly golden, glittery robes she’d ever seen and had a smile that was uncomfortably broad on his face. He opened his arms to them, stepping off the small platform at the far end of the room with his long sleeves swaying like the flames of a roaring fire in the space beside him. “Welcome,” he said simply, trailing off a name and a business speech he probably gave to all the customers he saw, but Rey wasn’t listening. No, she was remembering him greeting Rey, Ben, and their two witnesses.

He’d been as delighted to see them then as he was to see her and Rose now; only this time she suspected he didn’t remember a damn thing about who she was. “Do you have witnesses?” he asked, bringing her back to reality.

Blinking at him a few times, it took both her and Rose a second to catch his meaning. “Oh, no, we’re not getting married,” Rey said, feeling her face flush while Rose looked like she was about to burst into laughter.

“No?” the previously flamboyant officiant put down his arms  slowly. “Then why are you here?”

“I… I’m already married,” Rey said, then taking a quick glance outside, she slowly pulled her ring necklace out from under her shirt, revealing the golden band she’d purchased from the woman in the shop down the street. “I was here three… maybe four nights ago?”

The officiant looked at her a little strangely, as if trying to place her, then it hit him. “Ah! You and that tall fellow in black,” he said, clapping his hands together as Rey nodded eagerly.

“Yes! Yes that’s us!” she announced enthusiastically, then she gathered herself. “Could you tell me what happened that night?”

“Ah… don’t remember?”

“Not a bit of it, no.”

With a dreamy sigh, the officiant — who had a name tag pinned to the lapel of his robes that read something that looked like Sabe in a calligraphic scrawl — launched into the story, “The two of you were easily the most in love couple I’ve ever seen… well, one of them anyway, or I would’ve remembered you more quickly. Very genuine… You hadn’t even written your vows though. You both made them up on the spot, then I told you to kiss and it was over. Both of you ran off into the night after that… You kissed a good five times on the way out, though.”

“Of course,” Rose said from the sidelines, and Rey gave her a brief, half-sarcastic glare as she stepped forward.

 “Um… Problem is, like I said, my husband and I don’t remember the ceremony, and we both…” She paused, unsure if she could finish the sentence knowing that neither of them truly wanted it to end. “We both need it to end.” Was that anymore true than the ending she’d originally planned to end it, though?

“Oh… do you?” he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye that made him look even more like the commander whose orders she was currently disobeying. “You don’t sound like you do.”

Rose scoffed. “No, she doesn’t,” she muttered under her breath, then Rey lightly jabbed her ribcage with her elbow, and she fell quiet.

“I do… Believe me we need to…” She shook her head, then crossed her arms over her chest. “I need to know how to… divorce my husband.”

The officiant looked at her with raised eyebrows, his expression sobering as he looked at her. “Are you sure?”

Rey’s nod wasn’t eager, it was heartbroken, her eyes threatening tears that she’d been trying to keep back. “We have to.”

“I can’t help not hearing the words ‘We want to,’” the officiant told her, then he sighed, leaning back against a golden wall. “I’d think carefully before asking my advice, be sure that this is truly the path you wish to take.”

She forced herself to maintain a stiff posture, trying to seem more confident than she felt. “I’m sure… It’s life or death.”

“You must be somebody then,” the officiant — Sabe — said with raised eyebrows, then he pushed himself off of the wall, and walked closer to her, stepping off of his stage. “But what you need to do is head uptown. There’s a tall building with a domed roof, can’t miss it. That’s where you’ll find a lawmaker, they’ll be able to help you filling out the necessary forms to annul the marriage.”

“Great, thank you,” Rey said, then she turned around, and prepared to make her way to that building, hoping she could find it and return before Poe needed them back at their hotel.

“But wait!” the officiant cried, then he stepped forward again. “The offices are closed until morning. I’m afraid once the sun goes down, anywhere in the city that isn’t for the tourists is virtually a   town.”

There was maybe the world’s tiniest hint of disappointment losing a battle brutally to the joy that was brewing inside of her. A smile erupted on her face before she could stop it, and she thanked the man before grabbing Rose’s hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

Rose didn’t hesitate to follow her out into the city streets, and Rey couldn’t help letting out a relieved cry as the tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes finally dropped. She had another day to figure out her situation, and that was more time than she ever could have hoped for. “You sound excited about this,” her friend observed.

“I’m not supposed to be, but it gives me time to be ready,” Rey said, then she wiped the tears from her cheeks, looking at Rose as they began to make their way down the city street toward the hotel where Poe was undoubtedly waiting for them.

“I know… But… what was that like?” Rose asked. “Being in there.”

They weaved through the crowds of well dressed, rich tourists as Rey thought through her answer. Her eyes wandered about the buildings, observing the various architectures, the lights, and the people. All of those elements combined to create an atmosphere that gave her a near perfect sense of dejavu. She’d made this walk already, hadn’t she? Three maybe four nights ago she and Ben Solo had walked this street holding hands with rings on their fingers, keeping their presence hidden from unwanted eyes with subtle usage of the force as they walked toward…

Rey froze when she saw it at the far end of the street, it sat casually on the roof of the hotel that they were staying at the night they were wed, overlooking the entire city as a band played a peaceful jazz tune, though she wasn’t sure if there was actually the band or just the echo of her memory. Either way, what her eyes had landed on was unmistakably the balcony she and Ben had danced on the night of their wedding. In hindsight, she could see rings on their fingers. She could see them clear as day as their fingers laced together, and they danced to the rhythm of the music below.

Her breath caught in her throat as Rose came to a halt beside her, asking worriedly what was wrong. Rey pointed up to the balcony, then she let out a slow breath. “That’s where I told him I loved him…” she breathed. “I need… I need to get up there.”

“You’ll have to wait, though. Poe’s expecting us back soon,” Rose reminded her, then Rey felt a rush of disappointment.

“I know… But… we’re staying at the hotel anyway, the moment he doesn’t need us anymore, I’m going up there,” Rey replied, again staring down the balcony as they continued walking toward it. “Maybe it’ll help me remember.”

Rose nodded as they made their way down the street. “Maybe.”

They fell quiet after that, their walk resuming in silence, but Rey’s eyes were on the balcony the entire time. Hopefully Rose had managed to pay attention to whether or not any First Order officials were present, because she certainly wasn’t. She tried to, to her credit, but she just couldn’t quite manage to keep herself from looking anywhere that wasn’t the balcony.

They’d danced there. They’d said “I love you,” on that balcony. It was an emotionally heavy place, and it was when her emotions were heightened, she realized, that the memories tended to appear. Besides, the view from up there was amazing, and regardless of Ben, seeing it again wouldn’t exactly be something she minded.

Another ten minutes later, Rey and Rose were seated at a table in the very bar she and Ben had gotten drunk in a few days prior, and her eyes were locked onto that booth in the corner they’d sat in, her first kiss playing on a loop in her mind. Luckily, no one had recognized her, which while she found it odd, she certainly wasn’t going to complain as she attempted to listen to her commander’s ramblings, trying hard to keep her gaze on where he sat. He and Finn sat in the seats on the opposite side of the table, the latter of the two listening attentively as the formerlectured off the plan for the next day.

“So thanks to Finn, we know that our donor is going to meet with us at high noon tomorrow. Broad daylight. Makes me nervous, but it also makes me trust him a little more,” Poe said, then he crossed his arms, leaning against the table. “Daylight’s a less likely time for anyone to pull something.”

“Right,” the others replied, one echoing after the other.

“So we’re going to meet here in this bar,” Poe pointed a finger behind him in the direction of the booth Rey’s eyes kept drifting to. “In that booth back there that Rey keeps looking at, and hopefully if everything goes well, we can all get out of here before nightfall tomorrow night. Hopefully… hopefully we’ll be able to sleep in our own beds after this. Then… maybe we turn the tide on this war.”

Rey’s breathing shuddered slightly as he spoke, thinking on the end of that sentence over and over as she remembered where her husband was right then. He was somewhere on a massive ship, flying through the sky as he kept up his predecessor’s tradition of never keeping the first order based on a planet, though that was the only commonality they shared. Other than that, Ben and Snoke couldn’t have been more different.

“So what now, then?” she asked after a moment, interrupting the silence she’d fallen under. “What do we do tonight?” _Can I sneak away to the balcony?_

Poe shrugged, giving her a playful grin. “I guess have fun… even if this town is… made of the worst of the worst.”

Rose scoffed. “You’ve got that right,” she grumbled bitterly, then she looked at Finn. “One of these days we need to tear it apart again.”

A giggle left Finn, then he sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “Maybe we’ll get the chance to try again tonight.”

“Oh, it’s on, let’s just try not to get arrested this time.”

“ _Please_ don’t get arrested this time,” Poe said, though he was still smiling as he reached beside himself for Finn’s hand. “But maybe consider letting me join you.”

Finn and Rose looked at one another, then nodded in mutual agreement. “The more the merrier,” the latter of the two pointed out.

The commander beamed at them before he turned to look at Rey, who was nursing her beer absentmindedly as she continued flicking her eyes to that booth in the corner, seeing silhouettes of a couple kissing every time she looked — the ghosts of herself and Ben living the happiest moment of their lives. “Rey? What about you? You gonna join us?”

She flinched upon hearing her name, clearly not having expected it. “What?”

“You joining us?”

Rey paused, realizing the opportunity this gave her. “No… sorry, I’m just… I’m not feeling up to drinking so much so soon after my last hangover,” she said. It wasn’t a lie, either, she had only woken up in her hotel room with the worst handover known to man a few days ago. “I think I’ll work on more training tonight.”

Poe nodded slowly. “You sure? We won’t drink too much, we’ve got a mission tomorrow anyway.”

“If you were in my position, I promise you, you’d feel the same way.”

With that, the commander backed off, putting his hands up in a surrender. “Okay, go ahead and do what you need to do,” he said, then Rey took one last sip of her drink, and made to leave before Poe stopped her. “But remember, meet at my room tomorrow morning. I gave you the number, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied, then he let her go, and she felt his eyes on her the entire time, suspicion rising within him that she could feel in the force. It worried her a little, but she was too focused on reaching her objective to think about it too hard.

She left the bar, walking back out into the casino to reach the lift at the far end of the machines and poker tables. The glass domed elevators stood waiting patiently for her — at least, one of them did, the others were all in use carrying passengers to one of about twenty floors. She pressed a button to summon one, and with a ding the doors opened, and she stepped inside, pressing the button for the highest floor, and immediately closing the doors with the force, not wanting anyone else to see where she was going.

The lift launched upwards a bit more forcefully than she remembered it doing, and a vague memory of stumbling into black clad arms filled her brain as well as the sound of faint, but jubilant laughter. She glanced over, practically able to see herself and Ben leaning against the nearby wall — clearly having had a few more drinks than they’d had during their kiss —and holding onto one another tightly. Rings adorned both of their fingers, and every five seconds they kept looking down to their hands, then at each other, whispering disbelievingly.

A smile crossed her face at the warmth the memory brought her, then the elevator doors opened, and she walked out curiously into a hallway, hotel rooms with polished, silver hued doors lined the walls, and colorful lights lit the hallway all the way down to the emergency exits and stairwells… At the far end of the hallway, she noticed another familiar thing in the form of an askew, red, exit sign that pointed toward one of the staircases that were mostly used in the event of emergencies… right next to a set of glass doors she couldn’t quite see out of thanks to the reflection of the lights, but knew precisely what lay beyond them.

_The balcony._ Without another moment’s hesitation, Rey made her way down that hall, her heart racing as vague memories of stumbling down this hall days ago collided with her now lightly buzzed reality. More laughter and whispers of _“You need to see this,”_ echoed in her brain. _“It’s beautiful,”_ followed after, though which of them said what she couldn’t tell.

Eventually, she made it to the end of the hall, where above the doors, a very plain sign read in a language she barely knew anything of — but knew enough to translate — “Observation deck” in big lettering. _This was it._  

Taking in a deep breath, Rey pushed open the doors with a wave of her hand, and walked out onto the large, ethereal looking balcony, which appeared so because beyond it, she could see everything. All of the lights, the colors, and the ships sailing out onto the water in the distance, taking flight once they reached the far off waterfall as Rey looked out. Her jaw fell slack as she walked up to the railing on the far side, perching her hands against it as a breeze blew her hair back from her shoulders.

It was all so similar to that night, the sky was clear, stars shining down to watch her on the deck as she listened to the sounds of music drifting up from a band playing in a courtyard below. The same song they’d started off dancing to that night was playing, the soft little jazz tune with a beat that could easily summon some sort of swing dancing, but she and Ben had slow danced to nonetheless.

Rey started humming along to it, carrying the notes with her voice easily as she began to walk along the edge of the balcony, almost not hearing it when the force connected them a few minutes later. Somehow, though, she did hear it, and she turned around to see Ben leaning against the wall of the hotel with his arms crossed over his chest and a bemused expression on his face.

She paused her humming immediately, staring back at him with a blush creeping up her cheeks as she, too leaned back, though hers met the cold, steel railing instead of a firm wall. “How long were you standing there?”

He shook his head. “Not long,” he said, then he quirked an eyebrow at her. “Do you always hum so loudly?”

Scoffing, Rey stepped forward. “I thought I was alone.”

“Not anymore,” he replied, then he, too stepped off of the wall. “Are you… Is that music?”

Again she felt her heart racing in her chest. “Yes… I’m… I’m on the balcony,” she told him hesitantly, trying to gauge his reaction. “The one we…” she swallowed, unsure how to finish the sentence. She knew he remembered, she’d felt his reaction the night before when they’d both recalled the dance and what they’d said the last time they’d been where she was now standing.

“Oh,” he breathed, breath catching in his throat for a second before he shuddered, then took another step forward. “I wanted to talk to you earlier about that, but I was in a meeting.”

“I know, I… I got the feeling there was something you wanted to say.”

He moved even closer, and she could see every mark on his face, could make out every single detail of the scar she’d left on him as he came to a stop just a few feet away. “Rey…” he looked down, his entire body tense as he clenched his fist. Conflict warred within him anew in the bond, then he took in another breath, and immediately changed the subject. “How is Canto Bight?”

“Warm, bright, loud…” she mused, watching as Ben stepped past her. As she turned around, she felt the corners of her mouth twitch when she realized it looked like he was staring out at the view of the city, even though he was probably not even staring at anything at all. Or perhaps he was looking out a viewport into the expanse of space, that was entirely possible, too. “But that’s not what we need to be talking about…”

Ben braced himself against something that lined up perfectly with the railing of the deck. “No, it isn’t,” he said in agreement, then he changed the subject to something slightly more productive, but still avoiding talking about the three little words they’d said to one another. “Have you found anything more?”

“We found the ring shop where we bought our rings.”

“Did they remember you?”

“Yeah, they did,” Rey replied, mimicking his stance by his side, unintentionally placing her hand a scant few inches from his. “They pointed us in the direction of the chapel we got married in. I… I found out how to annul our marriage.” She could feel his heart breaking along with hers as she said it, and looked over to see his lower lip quivering slightly as he looked out over a city he couldn’t see, wind from a planet he wasn’t standing on blowing back his own dark waves.

“Oh?” he asked, clearly attempting to keep his voice casual. “What did they say?”

“I can’t do anything to end our marriage until morning,” she told him, staring down into the city below. “It’ll have to wait a little while longer.” Rey then turned her attention back on Ben as she felt a tiny sliver of delight escape him into the bond, which she returned, amplifying the feeling between them.

“Not until morning?”

“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “No matter what we do, we’re going to stay married until then.”

Ben hummed contentedly, then his gaze fell on her. “Isn’t that a shame?” he asked, his dry sarcasm more prominent than ever as his dark eyes locked onto hers.

For a moment, the two of them looked at each other with that tiny spark of hope in their eyes, then she felt his hand inch just a little bit closer on the railing as he maintained eye contact with her, shifting until they were touching again, and she gasped like she had on Ahch To when she’d touched him by the fire. She hadn’t noticed until that moment that his hands were bare, and the moment they touched, it was like everything around them was amplified. The music from the band below played louder suddenly, though there was now a much slower song playing, the music seeming to sway like the breeze as it drifted casually past them, creating the exact atmosphere they’d been in the night of their wedding.

When he parted his lips a minute later, she already knew what he was about to say before he even said it. “I can hear the music,” he told her, his hand drifting further over hers so that he was covering it, then — though doing so nearly made her heart give out — Rey’s own turned to lace their fingers together. The music seemed to build almost to a crescendo as they held hands above the city, and she knew what was about to happen, all they needed to do was ask the question. “Care to dance with me again?”

Her voice was more quiet than it had ever been as she answered him, “I would love to,” then they stepped back from the railings, and she let him lead her to the center of the balcony  before he dropped her hand, then asked for it again. This time when she took it, he swept her into his arms, one hand holding hers and the other wrapped around her waist. Her own hand came up to rest on his shoulder, then she gave him another nod, and the two began to move high above Canto Bight, dancing like they were the only two people left in the galaxy.

They stayed like that for a while, stepping back and forth, occasionally to the side, and sometimes just swaying. It wasn’t until Ben spun her out, then back in that she finally made a noise, allowing herself to laugh, then doing it again just to see the smile that reached his eyes. “Where are you?” she asked, her gaze drifting briefly to the sky above, wondering if he was somewhere in that neverending expanse of black as they danced.

“I’m on our ship, in my quarters,” he told her, pulling her just a little bit closer to him, enough so that she was able to notice again how full his lips were. They were just on the side of red, and she remembered how they felt against hers vividly in that moment, missing a part of what he was telling her as she watched them move, remembering how soft they were… “Rey?”

She shook herself from her stupor. “What?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine… just… distracted…” she admitted. It wasn’t exactly a lie. “What were you saying?”

“I… Rey… Did I ever tell you why I was on Canto Bight? The truth?” he asked.

She thought for a moment. In all their conversations, all he’d mentioned was needing to get away, but even then, in all he’d said so far, she’d gotten the impression that there was more to the story. She’d never thought on it too hard, but it was certainly there. _“I realized I didn’t want it,”_ his voice echoed in her head, only this time she heard something else follow. _“I just wanted you.”_

“I was going to leave the First Order,” he told her, then he shook his head. “I was going to escape and… I don’t know what I was going to do after that…” Rey gasped softly, her breathing shaky as she listened to him, nearly stumbling over one of the steps in their dance. Ben seemed to pick up on her struggle, and with sympathy in his eyes, he moved them into a gentle sway in time with the slow, steady hum of the music. “I went to Canto Bight with some pathetic excuse to Hux about needing a break, then I… I ran into you, and I knew… If I left… He’d be in charge.”

Rey caught his meaning. “And it would’ve been even worse?”

Ben only nodded in response, then she shook her head in confusion. “But Ben, why would you leave?” she asked, feeling a lump forming in her throat as she thought through what he’d told her. There was no reason for him to leave the Order, none that he’d given her so far. “Why?”

This time it was he who shook upon freeing his breath from his lungs, his entire body trembling as he held her, as they swayed in the lights of the city below. “Rey, I don’t want the galaxy, I realized… I realized I never did.” With that, he leaned down a little ways, and they were closer than they’d been since that rooftop dance as he whispered, “I wanted something else.”

In her ears, she could hear her heart beating fast enough that it almost drowned out all other sounds. “Ben…” she breathed. “What are you saying?”

“I’m not joining the Resistance… but… I realized you were right about the order, about what they stand for… Rey… I’ve only been here as long as I have so that someone worse doesn’t take over, but… if I’m…” He took in a deep breath, then he looked into her eyes, and she could see the truth swirling within him again. “If I’m being honest… It took me maybe a day after Crait to start thinking that was the reason I was staying. I didn’t mind having the power, but with the Order? No… I’m only here… I’m only here to prevent the galaxy from falling into chaos under Hux’s hands.” He paused again, then he looked down. “And it took seeing you again for me to realize it.”

He didn’t want the galaxy. He didn’t want the fame and the glory of being the supreme leader. He didn’t want anything that came with his position. Her emotions were all over the place as she processed what he was telling her, feeling pride swell within her as she realized what he was saying. “Ben…”

“And that brings me to last night,” he continued, then he was pressing his forehead against hers, leaning down so that his warmth radiated out from him to blanket her, his breath ghosting over her lips as he spoke, telling her everything he’d been thinking over the last few days since their marriage had begun. “You told me you loved me.”

Her voice broke as she answered him. “I did,” she replied, a tear falling onto her cheek that she hadn’t even noticed forming. “Standing in this exact spot.”

They both laughed nervously at that, then Ben pulled her in a little closer, their lips now only a few inches apart, like their hands had been just minutes earlier. “Did you mean it?” His mouth twitched, then his voice broke, too. “Or was it just the alcohol?”

Rey answered him with a confidence she didn’t know she possessed. “Yes,” she replied. “I meant every word. I don’t care about whatever was poisoning my veins, I meant what I said… Ben, I—”

She didn’t get the chance to finish that sentence, and she didn’t care. Before she could repeat what she’d said the last time they’d danced on that balcony, Ben leaned forward, closing the already small gap between them as he sealed his lips to hers.

Both of them jolted at the contact, their entire bodies shivering as Rey returned the kiss, opening her lips to his, allowing them to fit perfectly as they kissed, still swaying absentmindedly to the music. It played gently in the background, making the kiss feel peaceful, though it was passionate, it was the sort of passion that —like before — came with coming home after being away for a while, like a reunion between two people who were getting to know one another again, communicating silently through this touch that said, “ _I’m glad you’re back,_ ” and enveloped them both in a warmth that had previously been foreign.

Rey smiled against his lips, feeling the most serene she’d ever felt in her entire life as they kissed. Through their bond, she could sense he felt it, too, and as she deepened the kiss, she felt a tear rolling down from his cheek onto hers. Both of their faces were now wet, both of them were decidedly messes, but neither cared about anything but how good the kiss felt.

There was a sense of _finally_ in the air between them, making Rey think back to the night they’d first kissed just four days earlier — their first kiss impossibly warm and content like this one, and full of hope, full of promise. But this one carried something different with it.

As they kissed, she could see more and more flashes of what had happened the last time they’d been in Canto Bight. She saw everything from their attempted battle outside, to their decision to talk in the bar, the frighteningly revealing conversation they’d had in said bar, the kiss, the proposal, the reason they’d gotten married, their engagement, the rings, the wedding, the dance, and at last the decision to one day come back to each other once he’d gotten the First Order into a position where it wouldn’t harm anyone.

Rey pulled away from their kiss suddenly, both needing air and needing to process everything, because after days of searching, after all that time trying to figure out what the hell they’d done and how it had all happened; she remembered. They both panted as they stared at one another, mouths open and red, eyes a little wide. and hands holding onto one another tightly as if the other person was the only thing keeping them standing.

“Did you…?” he asked, then she nodded.

“I remember.”

“Me too.”

“Ben…” she breathed, then she pulled back a little further. “Ben, I…”

He nodded, giving her a tiny hint of a smile before he kissed her again, briefly but passionately, and pulled away to lean his forehead against hers. “I know…” he said, then he let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.

“I… I remember _everything_.” 

 


	8. What Happened in Canto Bight: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I wanted to update my other fics first and this one stressed me out a little. I've got tests coming up so the next one will probably take a slight backseat, but it could also entirely show up in the next three days so hold onto your butts.

**_Four days earlier…_ **

The mission to Canto Bight was an overwhelming success. The patron she’d been there to meet had agreed to provide the Resistance a sum, and even requested that Rey give General Leia their well wishes. At the time, she had promised that she would, and left with a smile on her face as she made her way back to her casino to get herself a well deserved drink. The drink she would wind up getting, though, would be just one of many steps that ensured that she did not remember most of what happened the second she left the buyer. 

It happened in a series of events. She walked into an outdoor aisle that faced the setting sun of Cantonica, taking in the feeling of the cool breeze as it blew her hair back from her shoulders. Apparently it was going to be a cold night that evening, but even despite her desert origins, Rey didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, for the first two minutes after she’d completed her mission, she felt at peace.

Now she had an excess of time. Rey had two more days before she had to worry about receiving a transmission on her com from Poe Dameron requesting that she meet him in a stolen TIE on the city’s outskirts, and she intended to use them. A part of her wanted to run back to the Resistance immediately, and for a moment, in all honesty, she considered it, but she stayed. There was something compelling her to stay, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on what as she walked past dozens of people, their faces all blurring into one another as she tried to pinpoint what was making it so difficult for her to leave Canto Bight. 

The source of her issues quickly became apparent as she walked past the bar. It came in the form of a dark clothed man walking in her vague, general direction, but this was no ordinary tall, dark stranger. No, she’d know that scar anywhere. She’d been the one to create it, after all. “ _ Ben,” _ she breathed, a little stunned and an odd pinch delighted to be seeing him there. 

When was the last time the bond had connected them? It had been recently, hadn’t it? They’d both been busy at meetings, and locked eyes from across the room, but said nothing to each other as usual. The silence had been born of both not knowing what to say and a disappointed rage she felt for what had happened in the throne room. 

With that last thought, the delight she’d initially felt upon seeing him absolutely shattered, and Rey was enveloped in her rage. At the same time as Ben’s dark eyes finally recognized her, she pulled out her weapon, and began walking up to him, lighting the saber along the way. Resignation filled him — that she felt through the bond — as he watched her, but he quickly followed suit. Apparently he wasn’t as much of an idiot as she thought he was if he was willing to actually try and fight her. 

But she’d kicked his ass once and she was more than happy to do it again. Well, maybe she wasn’t happy, but she was certainly more than capable. She’d given Kylo the chance to come with her by asking nicely, perhaps now she’d just have to knock some kriffing sense into him. 

Sparks flew as their sabers clashed in an instigation of the fight, and around them Rey vaguely registered the sound of people fleeing from their seats in the bar, but she didn’t care enough to pay attention. He was right there in front of her, and she could sense this wasn’t just the bond— no, Kylo was really there, and this fight was really happening. “Rey,” he whispered, his voice so low she almost couldn’t hear it, but she did.

With an enraged shout, she pushed off of him, preparing to go back in for another spark causing collision of their blades, when suddenly a new sound came out from her right. Voices shouted for them to halt, warning them to put their weapons away or they’d be detained. She looked back at Kylo then, both of them immediately lowering then extinguishing their blades. Briefly, her grip tightened on her saber before she attached it back to the sheath of sorts she’d built into her belt, watching as he followed suit before one of the leading security officers stepped forward to escort them inside. 

“Now will there be anymore trouble or can you handle yourselves?” Rey heard him ask, disappointed yellow eyes locking onto her hazel ones. 

Kylo scoffed, but when she looked over at him all she could feel in the bond between them was regret and an odd sort of realization mixed with his own delight. Why the  _ kriff _ was Ben so happy? What was so delightful to him about this situation? They’d nearly gotten arrested just then, and if they didn’t handle this properly, if they didn’t go their separate ways, they probably still would. “We’ll be fine,” he was assuring the officer when she came out of her thoughts. “We just need to talk.”

_ Like hell. _ Rey moved to leave just as the man who had nearly arrested them did, but only one of the two was successful. As she began to walk through the building — apparently they’d been led into the casino — Kylo began to follow her.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo was asking as she stalked angrily through the casino, keeping pace with her even as she speed walked away from the scene of their near fight.   
  
“Don’t talk to me,” she growled, then he scoffed.   
  
“Rey, you’re the one who attacked me first,” he pointed out, sounding more exasperated than he did angry. For some reason, that only made her more furious. Did he not remember how things ended? Why was Kylo Ren, whom she’d seen at his most emotionally volatile, so  _ kriffing  _ calm? It was the most puzzling thing she’d ever seen, and all she could think to do was throw him an obscene gesture she’d seen in a holo once, giving him her middle finger in hopes he’d take offense and leave.   
  
No such luck.   
  
“Would you please just talk to me?” he said quietly, his voice begging, almost pleading as they continued walking through the expanse of the casino. The damn thing was massive, but not large enough to stop him from talking to her.   
  
“No.”   
  
“Rey—“   
  
“No.”   
  
“I need to talk to you about Crait—“   
  
“You should’ve come with me then.”   
  
“Rey—“ he picked up his pace as they passed through the middle of the casino, and she turned her direction, making a beeline for the bar at the end. “I need to tell you something.”

“Should’ve thought about that when you chose the First Order,” she hissed, though it hurt her to say those things to him. Thinking about what had happened on the Supremacy broke her heart a little, and on top of that, her anger felt plain  _ wrong. _ “Leave me alone. I won’t tell anyone I saw you here if you don’t tell anyone you saw me.”

Kylo matched her pace then, both of them moving at a brisk mixture of a jog and a walk as they weaved through the casino’s perplexed patrons. “That’s what I need to tell you!” he cried, reaching for her wrist as they walked, and slowing down their pace as he let go of it. “That’s the reason I’m here.”

Rey scoffed. “What? Are you making a trade deal with drug runners? Getting blood money for your regime?” She spat the words at him with more vitriol than she truly felt, but she had a lot of emotions she wasn’t quite sure how to process, and the only way her mind seemed to understand them was an overwhelming fit of rage. 

“Would you just  _ listen _ to me?” he asked, his voice  _ finally  _ gaining an angry tone and getting within range of being considered a shout. The raised volume turned the heads of several, well-dressed casino goers, but neither of them paid the crowd any mind. All Rey was paying attention to after all was him. It was something in his voice that made her finally stop and decide to listen to him. 

“What do you want?”

Surprise crossed his features, like he’d still expected her to run away from him. In his defense, she’d certainly thought about it. “I… I need to tell you why I’m here. We need to have a conversation. That’s all I’m asking.”

Rey blinked at him a few times. “Why do you want to have a conversation? What could we possibly have to talk about? You and I… we have  _ nothing  _ to discuss. Not anymore. You decided that months ago.”

Kylo nodded cautiously, then he looked around them, taking in the mass amount of people that were weaving their way in either direction through the casino. She followed his gaze, watching all the potential eyes that could be taking in their conversation between the coin machines and the poker tables, and realized what he was trying to do. He was scoping out the area. Whatever it was he wanted to tell her… it must’ve been something that carried weight to it. 

An idea came to her then, and she spared a glance at the bar. “Buy me a drink, and we’ll talk. I’ll give you five minutes to convince me to listen.”

“You want to go to the bar?” Kylo asked, looking perplexed as he gestured at it vaguely with a black gloved hand. 

Fighting vague flashbacks to that hand reaching out to her in a room that was on fire, Rey gave him a nod. “I think we’ll both need liquor if we’re going to survive this,” she hissed, then the two of them stood up straighter, and she allowed him to guide her in the direction of the bar. 

This particular establishment was much more quiet than the previous one had been. It still teemed with life, but something about the atmosphere was much more subtle than the outdoor one where they’d fought. Better yet, there were intimate looking booths where they could hold a quiet conversation.  

They walked over to a booth in the rear of the bar, neither of them speaking or looking at anyone except for Kylo, who held up two fingers in a gesture meant to signify that they needed drinks to the man tending it. Rey’s heart pounded inexplicably in her chest as the man nodded, then begun to reach for a bottle of brown fluid that would most certainly render any mortal being utterly plastered. The sight of it made her wonder what kind of night she was in for as they finally approached the booth, then he gestured for her to take a seat. 

Not wanting to show hesitation, Rey kept her head held high as she sank down into a seat, and he quickly followed, sitting on the dark colored bench across from hers. They sat like that for a moment, both staring ahead blank and unseeing. It had been so long since the last time they’d actually talked, and back then they hadn’t even gotten the chance to finish the conversation before it was interrupted by his uncle. The corners of her mouth twitched up involuntarily at the thought of the hut on Ahch To, which he must’ve noticed if what he said next was any indication. “You’re smiling.”

“No, I’m not,” she replied, quickly neutralizing her expression. 

“You were.” He placed his gloved hand on the table, and she heard the faint sound of the leather rubbing against itself as he clenched his fist. 

Rey was about to protest further against the idea that he could ever make her smile, but then the bartender approached them with a tray containing a full container of Cantonican brandy and two already filled glasses. She wasn’t sure just what Kylo had told the man with his gesture, but apparently he’d told him to ensure they both wouldn’t be sober by the end of their encounter. She waited until the tray was set down and the bartender had walked away before she spoke again. “You intending to forget what you tell me?”

“I think I’m hoping you’ll forget what I tell you on the off chance I come to regret it,” he muttered, a somewhat amused edge to his tone she hadn’t quite heard from him before. With a shaky hand, he reached for his drink, brought it to his lips, then cringed slightly from the burn of the alcohol. “Because I still don’t know what to do.” He took another sip after that, looking more nervous than she’d seen him previously. 

Taking a sip of her own drink, her brows furrowed as she ignored the Brandy’s fire. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously, reaching out to him through the force to find he was more conflicted with himself than ever before, but something told her the conflict wasn’t in his decision — that had already been made. No, this time it lay with whether or not he had the courage to say whatever it was he needed to say out loud. 

“A few months ago I asked you to join me,” he began, and Rey immediately took another sip of her drink, though this one was longer. “And you know what became of us both afterwards.”

“You became a supreme arse.”

He gave her a look, then she held her chin up, watching as he finished the drink in his glass, then moved to pour another. “I spent a week after that reveling in my own rage,” he explained. “There wasn’t a surface on our new ship that didn’t bear a scar from my saber.”

“Pity,” Rey muttered, but already her sarcasm was losing its venom. 

“But I realized about a week later, after we’d regrouped,” he continued as of she hadn’t interrupted him. “Hux began to roll out military plans that… we disagreed on to say the least. It’s been through position and the force that I’ve held him back from making decisions that would’ve destroyed this galaxy five times over.”

Rey blinked at him, finding herself undeniably intrigued as she downed the rest of her glass. While Kylo took the first sip of his second drink, she began to form hers as she thought up a response. “You’re saying that the First Order’s relaxed stance since Crait… that’s not just the losses in the command system, that’s you?”

He gave her a nod. “It took me a week to realize what I was doing there,” he told her, then he set down his drink. “And that choosing to stay there as the Supreme Leader may not have entirely been a mistake…” At this, he reached for the drink again, taking another long, slow sip before setting it down. “But on the other hand,  it was…”

Regret and longing filled the bond, and the image of outstretched fingers by more fire. Why was it that whenever she remembered their past, the two of them were always shrouded in sparks and smoke? “What are you saying?”

“I’ve grown weary of Hux and his misdeeds. I can control the galaxy, I can shape the laws, I cannot control him entirely. He’s smarter than that,” Kylo explained, nursing another sip, then he chuckled blankly, no amusement in his eyes as he sighed. “A rabid cur…”

Her heart was racing in her chest, the depressive nature of the alcohol doing nothing to stop the excited swell of emotion from the conclusions she was drawing. Was it possible Kylo has come to regret his decision to try and rule the galaxy instead of joining her? It seemed like too good a prospect to ever be true, but she had to know for sure. She  _ had  _ to. “Ben… why are you in Canto Bight?”

“I needed time to think, and I had made the decision to escape. All I needed to do was procure proper transport and I could figure out a way to abandon the order. I was going to leave it entirely… but then I saw you,” he said, then he shook his head. 

There was a spike of adrenaline through the bond, and two hearts raced in that tiny little corner booth, unwatched by the eyes of the galaxy’s richest. “What do I have to do with this?”

“You… you reminded me I still have something to keep the order from destroying,” Ben told her, then they both finished their second drinks, moving on to the third soon after. “Rey, if I leave, Hux will never stop hunting the Resistance. I have no interest in joining them, but… I think I know a person or two I don’t want to die.”

“You want to protect me?”

Kylo opened and closed his mouth a few times, toiling over what to say for a second before he nodded firmly. “Yes.”

“Why? The last time we saw each other in the flesh I left you on a dying ship,” she replied, shaking her head at herself as she sipped her third drink, remembering that day on the Supremacy. Rey had made a very quick escape once she’d woken, briefly kneeling down by Kylo to stroke his hair and promise she’d try again one day before she left, stealing Snoke’s escape craft on her way out. 

“It was everything else you said to me,” Ben told her, his speech already slurring slightly from what he’d imbibed. Rey could only imagine what she sounded like at the moment if her enemy — who was much larger than she — was already inebriated. “You made me realize that I had a choice in my fate… because of you, I defeated Snoke. I owe you a great debt…” Another sip for them both. “I probably owe you my life.”

“I’d do it again,” she assured him, downing a particularly large and strong sip of the brandy. “But, Ben why… why… I don’t understand.”

Ben almost laughed, and the dim, but vibrantly colored lights of the bar caught his smile, causing Rey’s cheeks to flush with heat as she watched it. Why the Kriff was she blushing? It was just a smile. She’d seen him without his shirt — though admittedly, she had struggled to look at him out of fear that she’d have the same reaction she was having to his kriffing smile — so it stood to reason she could handle this… couldn’t she?

“Rey, I spent most of my life in the shadow of my family,” he explained, taking another sip of his drink. “It wasn’t until you came in… that I realized I could control my fate.” With his free hand, he absentmindedly ran his fingers over the scar bisecting his right cheek. “And that’s part of why I’m here. I want out of the Order, I want to free myself from my pain… or try to… right the wrongs I committed under Luke and Snoke’s tutelage.”

“Like your father?” she asked, unable to stop the words before they tumbled out. Both of them paused, then finished their drinks before either spoke again. 

“I was telling you the truth. I didn’t hate him.”

“I know.” She took in a deep breath, then poured herself another drink, feeling the poison swimming in her brain. Already Kylo was a little fuzzy at the edges, and as he spoke, his voice echoed just slightly as the buzz began to hit her and warmth filled her body. Or was that the heater’s working overhead to keep out the evening cold? 

“I realized I didn’t want it, Rey…” he told her, then he set his hand down on the table. “I don’t want the galaxy, I don’t want a regime that… kills planets and made me nearly kill both of my parents. They… they were flawed, but my father deserved better than me for a son.”

Rey suddenly felt compelled to reach out and hold his hand again, and for once, she gave in to that impulse. Her hand slowly slid across the table until she was grasping his fingers in hers. Ben stared up at her in shock and awe, but then his fingers wrapped around hers, and he shakily exhaled. “I didn’t want the galaxy.”

“I… I’m not sure I understand…”

He closed his eyes, bracing himself against what he was about to say. “I didn’t want the galaxy, I wanted you,” he told her quietly, then before she could even begin to process such a statement, he continued, “It’s like I said. You showed me I had a choice, and… I’m changing my mind. Or I would… if I can figure out a way to leave the Order without Hux…”

Still shaking slightly from the first thing he said, Rey’s already alcohol addled brain was overwhelmed with delight. “You want me?”

“I…” He gave her a nod. “I do.”

She felt her jaw drop slightly, then she took a sip of her drink. “That’s what I wanted, too,” she admitted, finding the strength to look him in the eyes. His brown ones were so warm that night, flecks of gold illuminated by the changing colors of the bright lights above them that almost made it look as if he had embers from a dying fire in his stare. “I didn’t want the galaxy, either, Ben. I never did. That’s why I couldn’t come with you on the Supremacy… I… I wanted you, too.”

Ben — and she wasn’t sure when she’d stopped referring to him as Kylo, but she was grateful that she had— shifted over in his seat in the booth. “Come here,” he told her quietly, his voice dropping to a whisper. 

“Why?”

“Because we’ve both been alone for too long,” he said simply, then he let go of her hand, and reached for the brandy bottle, which they’d already rendered nearly half empty. To be fair, it wasn’t exactly an abnormally large bottle, but still they’d drank it far too quickly. As Rey stood to join him, her head was spinning— the entire room was out of focus except for him. In all of the chaos around her, he was the one clear thing she could see; he was the one constant. 

Ben’s breath caught in his throat as she sat down beside him, then reclaimed his hand on the bench, lacing their fingers together as she caught his gaze. They sat there like that for several minutes, just looking into one another’s eyes and gauging their emotions. Again she could feel that longing coming from him that she recognized so well within herself, and she shuddered to think what it meant. “There’s something here…” she told him, slurring her words slightly. “Wait… that… that makes  _ no  _ sense.”

“Rey, I am as intoxicated…. As you are. Believe me… it makes sense…”

They both chuckled at that, then reached for their drinks, imbibing more alcohol before she sighed. “I don’t know how to say this… but I’ve felt it for a while.”

Ben set his glass down, and through the bond she could feel their mutual intoxication swirling around them. It was as if the rest of the room, the rest of the planet, and the entire galaxy disappeared to allow them this most important moment. “I’ve felt it, too.”

“So… I think we need to do… I need to do whatever I can to help you escape. We can… figure out what to do with the galaxy… but we’ve both suffered enough… I think it’s time you came with me and got out from under Snoke’s thumb for good.”

He swallowed nervously as he turned toward her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I want to… but, Rey… I don’t want to join the Resistance either.”

“I… I wasn’t expecting you to, but… what the hell are you going to do if you leave? They’ll be looking for you everywhere… you… you won’t have any protections…” she warned him, concern filling her voice as she realized how much danger Ben was in the moment he actually escaped from the order. She looked around them, trying desperately to think of a solution that would protect Ben. 

The solution came to her in the form of a loud and boisterous couple entering from the opposite end of the bar surrounded by a small crowd of equally loud friends. Champagne was being popped from various bottles, and shouts of joy chorused around them as the couple — dressed noticeably in wedding garb — came in for a kiss. Delight was in their eyes as they pulled apart, then embraced, and Rey turned back to face Ben with an idea in her mind. 

“I can take you back with me, you can seek refuge with us until we figure out a better solution.”

“Rey… th-they would never let me live there… Maybe my mother would find some room to forgive me, but no one else wou—” At that moment, the couple that had just walked through the bar let out another round of raucous cheering, causing both of their attentions to snap in that direction again. When their eyes met again, it became quickly apparent that they were thinking the same thing. “Oh…”

She gave him a nod as she shifted closer, then she burst into laughter. “No… it’s ridiculous… we’re… we’re both absolutely knackered.”

“We are…” Ben said, then he shook his head as he leaned in toward her, making Rey think for a second that he was moving in for a kiss, but then he stopped. “I need a way out, and you… there’s something between us that’s bigger than this… it’s bigger than all of this…”

“Ben… I’m just asking you to come with me, we don’t have to get married if you don’t want to,” she reminded him, finding herself in a moment of clarity despite the fact that she’d now crossed the line between tipsy and drunk. 

He rested a gloved hand on her jaw, cupping it perfectly as he told her, “I’ll do it,” and his voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him.

“What?” she asked him in response, her own voice equally as quiet as she rested a hand over his. “You’ll go?”

“I don’t have a choice anymore, Rey… I… I…” His lower lip was trembling, and she had a passing thought that she really ought to stop it from shaking.

She nodded. “I know, Ben… I’ll help you,” she replied, then she shook her head. “But wait did you just mean running away with me or… or did you mean the other thing, too?”

“What, marrying you?” Ben asked, then when she nodded, he took in a shaky breath. “I… I think I’d like t-to marry you… if… if you’ll have me.”

“This is absolutely mad,” she told him, their faces mere inches apart as her hand now began to stroke his hair. “We shouldn’t do this.”

“I want to, Rey,” he replied, and kriff, his touch was sending jolts of electricity along her spine as he began stroking her cheek with his thumb. “But only if you do.”

“I want to.”

“So is that a yes?” he asked, then she nodded eagerly, and broad smiles erupted on both of their faces as Ben leaned forward, and kissed her for the first time. And there it was, those soft lips pressing against hers, the electricity in her veins, the feeling that after all those years of searching and waiting for a family that just wasn’t coming back, she’d finally come home, and the sense that there would never be a last after this first, no, this was the spark that would ignite the flame that was going to burn for years to come.

The alcohol burning through her liver was nothing, she was drunk on that kiss. Ben kissed her slowly, softly, like he had all the time in the world. There was nothing rushed, but also nothing hesitant about it. The kiss transpired almost like they’d done it before a thousand times, as if it were an old dance and they were remembering the steps, and she felt comforted by the feeling of his warmth around her as his hands gingerly enveloped her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace as they kissed. 

Rey’s first kiss grew in its passion, her hands slowly reaching up to thread themselves in his hair as she smiled into it, resisting the urge to laugh delightedly as his own joy drifted in through the bond. For someone shrouded for so long in darkness, Ben Solo’s light was nearly blinding when it was allowed to shine, and she wanted to bask in its glory, wanted to never stop feeling what it was to hold him in her arms and be held in return as they kissed in that little booth. 

Unfortunately, their lungs both had other ideas. 

She wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but eventually they did, and Rey gasped softly as she came up for air, feeling Ben’s hands at her waist, tangled up in the fabric of her wraps as he held her close. Both of them breathed hard, though the kiss wasn’t that long, it was more so the emotional impact that had worn them out completely, making them stare into one another’s eyes as if they were unable to comprehend what had just happened.

It settled into them slowly, then the smiles returned, and Rey leaned forward to capture his lips again in another, more passionate kiss that felt almost all encompassing. For a moment she forgot who she was, who he was, and she just lost herself to that kiss. They weren’t the last Jedi and the Supreme Leader, they were Rey and Ben, and the galaxy and its troubles could pause for a few minutes while they basked in this moment together.

“We’re doing it, then?” Ben asked as he pulled just a hair’s breadth away from her. “We’re getting married?”

She gave him another nod. “Yeah, we’re getting married,” she told him, then she kissed him again, wanting to spend a little more time learning Ben and the way he kissed, already getting the feeling that she was going to experience such a wonderful thing a lot more frequently. 

The second kiss was a lot shorter, not nearly as gentle as the first. There was a lot more fire and passion to this one, both of them gripping each other in their hands as if they were afraid the other would slip away. Ben’s lips were still soft against hers, but they now had an urgent mission, and Rey couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the camaraderie, but she wanted to be in a chapel and married to Ben as quickly as she could. 

“How do we do this, then?” she asked as she pulled away. “I… I know nothing.”

“I don’t know anything either,” Ben admitted, then they both laughed with a mutual sense of nervous excitement. “But if you’re willing to…”

Rey gave him a firm nod. “I… I am. I’m kriffing… I’m kriffing drunk,” she breathed, then they both fell into another fit of giggles. “But I don’t think I’ll ever feel for anyone what I feel for you… so I don’t mind. I don’t mind getting married…”

“Neither do I.”

“You think we’ll regret it in the morning?”

Ben shook his head. “We might, but I don’t give a damn about the morning. I care… I care about right now… and right now this seems like a great idea.”

All she could do in response was beam at him before she kissed him again, relishing in the feeling of holding Ben Solo in her arms. If she were being honest with herself, this has been what she’d wanted with him from the moment they’d spoken in a hut in Ahch To. It was what she’d hoped would happen as they touched hands, staring into one another’s eyes with an intensity neither had ever known before. If it hadn’t been for Luke… 

If they hadn’t been interrupted she was sure that what transpired next would’ve led to the kiss she was sharing with him in that moment. It would’ve led to their hands wrapped around one another, threaded into each other’s hair, and wrapped around their waists so that they were pressed chest to chest in what was presently their third but most passionate kiss. Rey barely fought back another round of joyous laughter as she kissed her fiancé, feeling his own ecstatic delight meld with hers through their connection. 

It was another while before Ben broke away from the kiss, then reached up to take one of her hands in his. She watched as he studied it for a moment, feeling almost as if she were under inspection as Ben ran his still gloves fingers over the rushes of her knuckles. “Ben?” she asked softly, but he paid her no mind, instead he took her ring finger between his index finger and thumb, and held it. 

“We should get rings,” he told her, then his eyes drifted up to meet hers. “If you’re alright with that.”

“Are you sure? We’d have to… depending on how long you stayed with the Order after this… Ben… we’d have to hide them…”

“We can do it,” he protested, grasping her hand in his as he leaned his forehead against hers. “Rey… I never thought this kind of thing would happen to me… ever.”

“Neither did I… I always thought I’d die alone on Jakku,” she admitted, then she felt a slight twinge of sadness rush through her at the memory of where she’d come from. 

In response, Ben let go of her hand, and she watched as he took the glove off of one hand, slowly revealing the pale skin beneath. With held breath, she watched him take off the other, tucking them into the line of his belt before he took her hand in both of his again, allowing her to feel the warmth of his bare skin against hers. Exhaling slowly, she gave him another short kiss, then smiled weakly. “Let’s do it.”

“You sure?” Ben asked, running his thumb over the back of her hand, the gesture easily one of the most soothing things she’d ever experienced. “You don’t mind it? I… I have more than enough credits necessary to cover it.”

“I hope you have the funding to cover the wedding, too. I can’t spend what I have on personal gain.”

“I’ll do whatever you want,” he told her, then he took in a deep, shaky breath. “I just want to marry you.” 

Shivers ran through her entire body at the way he’d said that last bit, like he didn’t want to marry her for the fact that she could provide him shelter at all, but instead wanted to put if their genuine connection alone. If she were being honest, as ridiculous and stupid as this plan was, she wanted to do it for those reasons, too. The idea of keeping him safe was just an excuse and bonus. 

“I want to marry you, too,” she told him, then he pulled back from her, allowing Rey to see his face in full again as he held back another smile, then he licked his lower lip. 

“What are we waiting for, then?” he asked, letting his grin loose after it had fought so hard to break free. 

“Let’s do it.” Rey was on her feet first wobbling a little as she stood, but she still managed to tug on his hands to pull him out of the booth. He stumbled as he got up, the alcohol they’d drank swirling around heavily in both their minds, making everything seem like it was happening to someone else, or like it was a dream. 

They both laughed at their own inability to stand, then Rey let go of his hand, and reached for her drink. “To our wedding,” she said in a toast. 

Ben reached for his own, then he gave her a serious, almost sober nod. “To our wedding,” he repeated, then they clinked their glasses together, and downed the remainder of the brandy within. 

Once they finished their toast, they set the glasses down on the table, then Rey once again took his hand in hers. “Let’s go,” she said, then the two of them were rushing through the bar, past the other party of newlyweds, and out into the bright, cool Canto Bight evening air to say their vows. 

It wasn’t until they danced on a balcony a few days later that Rey realized they had been so lost in the gleeful bliss of their new idea, that they hadn’t even bothered to take a moment and pay their bill. 


	9. What Happened in Canto Bight: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this got long but I swear it's worth it.

Bursting out onto the street, Rey was barely able to stand as she leaned heavily against Ben while they laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe. After they’d left the bar, they’d immediately hauled ass through the casino, nearly barreling into quite a few wealthy patrons in their mad dash to get married as quickly as was humanly possible.

Rey still couldn’t believe they were doing this. She couldn’t fathom that she’d been the one to suggest such a mad, impossible thing, but here she was, rushing down the streets of Canto Bight with Ben’s hand in hers as they ran side by side toward the nearest ring shop. All her life she’d been alone, and she’d been more than content with not needing anyone, but something about the alcohol, the lights, and the atmosphere on Cantonica was making her feel as if this was the perfect solution to their problem — even if sober Rey wouldn’t agree — and so they continued to run like they didn’t have a care in the world. They were unstoppable, and nothing was going to stand in the way of her, Ben, and the altar.

The ring shop was found five minutes later when they turned onto a new, brightly lit street with all sorts of people walking its length. Somehow the sheer, stupid euphoria that came with what they were doing had yet to fade away, and she was perhaps a touch more excited than she’d anticipated being.

The one they’d found was charming, and rather antique looking compared to the more modern, chrome plated high rises surrounding it. Inside the golden colored room the lights gave a slightly pink hue, and as they walked further inside, she rested her eyes on row after row of display cases full of rings being fawned over by couples.

Soon, she and Ben would be one of them, and Rey couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the excitement stirring around them in the force that made her feel positively ecstatic.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she admitted. “If either of our sides discovered this…”

“We won’t have to keep it secret for long… maybe even not at all. How long do you have before they want you back?”

“Two days.”

“We’ll have to use them,” he muttered as they walked up to a counter, where a tall, dark-skinned woman with the name tag, “Vi,” was waiting with her hands folded over each other.

As Rey turned her bright smile away from Ben, she found the woman returning it. “Welcome, what can I do for you?” she asked in a voice of mixed accents.

“We… we need rings,” she stated simply, and the woman looked at her with the typical, _no shit_ look people gave whenever someone said something obvious. “And we need them… immediately… we’re not supposed to get married…”

“She didn’t need to know that, Rey,” Ben replied, though it was clear that he was trying not to laugh, then he drunkenly made their situation worse. “Please ignore my fiancé, I… the… did we decide whether you’ll take my last name yet?”

“Only if it’s Solo.” Her voice was surprisingly steady despite how she was barely able to walk, and as she watched Ben process her words, both their faces grew serious.

He gave her a firm nod. “Rey Solo it is.”

Rey was unable to fight back the grin she gave him in response, then she turned back to face Sabe, and she pointed a finger at her. “We both need a ring then, since I’m… I’m the future… Mrs. Solo…”

“You’ve certainly come to the right place!” Vi clapped her hands together in delight, the look on her face almost enough to fool Rey’s drunken mind as she glanced over at a coworker and barely held back laughter. “What will it be for the two of you? Something simple? Or would you like something more intricate…?”

Rey looked back at Ben, then at the display case full of rings. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m…” he paused, then he followed her gaze, and both their eyes scanned the varying sets of rings. “I don’t care what they look like, we just need them so we have something to exchange.”

“I agree,” she told him, then she reached for his hand. “I don’t care what the rings look like, Ben, I just… I just want to get married.”

His gaze was astonishingly soft as he looked down at her, and he reached up a hand to cup her jaw as if he were going to kiss her, then he thought better of it as he remembered they were in public. Part of her wanted to remind him that the clerk had probably seen worse than whatever kiss they would’ve shared, but she didn’t voice that concern. The most important thing was that they found rings, then they could find the chapel, and at long last, they could say their vows and seal the bond between them with a kiss.

“Let’s go with something simple, then,” Vi told them, then she reached down beneath the counter, and they watched her dark-skinned hand land over a set of simple gold rings of two different sizes. She produced the velvet cushioned box a moment later with a smile.  “What do you think of these?”

Rey and Ben both studied them for a moment, then she reached for the smaller one, slipping it slowly onto her ring finger before she looked up at her fiancé, watching as he did the same. By some miracle — or perhaps the force itself — their rings both fit, and she held up her hand beside his, watching as the pink and gold lighting of the ring shop reflected off the shimmering metal. “It’s perfect.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Ben told her, then they both nodded at Sabe, and reluctantly began to slip the rings off their fingers. “We’ll take them.”

Sabe looked absolutely delighted to hear that news, and immediately began informing them of the price, but as Ben produced the money necessary to pay for the rings, neither of them was listening. All they could do was stare at the rings until the clerk closed the box, and handed it over to Rey. “You look less hammered than he does, I think I can trust you with this,” she whispered with a wink, causing an involuntary giggle to leave the newly engaged woman as she turned back to her fiancé.

“You ready to go?”

Ben gave her a nod, then he glanced at Vi. “You wouldn’t… happen to know... where the nearest chapel is, would you?” He slurred, then he almost laughed at himself, his amusement trickling in through the bond. “We didn’t exactly plan this.”

“Ah, but of course!” the woman who’d sold them their wedding rings clasped her hands together. “There’s quite a few you could go to… just head in any direction and you’ll find one within three or four blocks.”

“Seriously?” Rey asked, then Vi gave her a nod, and she looked back at Ben with a grin. “Let’s go.”

“I won’t argue,” he replied, then Rey gripped the ring box in one hand and his in the other, and once more they were running through the night.

That evening Canto Bight was cold; the temperature straddled the line between cool and frigid, causing goosebumps to creep up Rey’s exposed upper arms, but she hardly noticed. Perhaps it was the running pace she and Ben had set or perhaps it was the distraction of her upcoming wedding, but either way, she couldn’t feel the chill in the air. It was almost nonexistent.

They ran for a few minutes, then as they turned left onto another street, Ben tugged on her hand, and they quickly slowed their pace. Urgency filled the bond, and Rey’s brows furrowed in concern. “What… what is it…? Is something wrong?” Her thumb ran worriedly over the clasp holding their ring box together. “Ben?”

“We… we haven’t come up with vows,” he told her, his slurred voice making his words sound even more endearing than they already did. “I… I don’t want to go in unprepared…”

“It’s okay…” she assured him, running her thumb over the back of his hand as she stepped closer, ignoring the throngs of people moving around them on the crowded street. “I don’t need… I don’t need anything special.”

“I know…” He took a deep breath, then he reached up to cup her jaw with his free hand, still bare from when he’d taken off his gloves in the bar, and again she felt his warmth flood through her skin. “But we only get to do this once, and I want to make sure… I want to make sure we do it right.”

Pausing for a moment, she gave him a nod, and he smiled in return before he kissed her softly, and suddenly she felt an overwhelming emotion that she’d never quite experienced before except… except around him. But every time she’d experienced it, the feeling had always come from herself, and up until that night where the two of them were drunk and reveling in the bliss of their soon-to-be marriage, she’d had to clamp it down and ignore it ever since Crait. That night though it was allowed to shine, and as Rey recognized that she was the recipient of another human’s love — romantically speaking, at least — for the first time, she returned Ben’s kiss with a fervor, finding that her vows came to her without her even having to think.

When they finally made their way up to that altar, she was going to be _ready._

As she pulled away from him, she looked carefully between his eyes, sensing the peaceful resignation within him that signaled to her he was ready. “I don’t know how to put it into words,” she admitted to him, then she squeezed his hand a little more tightly. “But I mean every word I’m about to say.”

“So do I,” He replied, his voice agonizingly quiet, though whether he was just trying to whisper or trembling with emotion she couldn’t tell. Before she could ask him about it, Ben jolted, then he looked around them at the crowd. “Kriff.”

“What is it?”

“We need witnesses, Rey, otherwise this will be considered invalid.”

“ _Kriff,”_ she muttered, then she searched the street for people who looked like they wouldn’t just ignore herself and Ben in their foolish ways. She found their two witnesses in the form of an elderly couple — a man and woman with graying hair and matching, velvet maroon ensembles that added to their charm —who somehow still managed to be looking at one another the way she knew she must’ve been looking at her fiancé right then. The shine on their rings was dim, but the one in their eyes was still brighter than ever despite the years she could sense radiating off of them. Vaguely wondering what a couple like that was doing in a place like Canto Bight, Rey surged forward, dragging him along with her as she rushed toward them.

“Rey, what are you doing?” Ben asked under his breath, sounding a bit bewildered at the fact that she was now making a beeline for this elderly couple despite him being the one to suggest they needed witnesses in the first place. Well, they were both rather drunk. Logic flew in and out of the windows at an exceedingly odd rate, so she couldn’t quite blame him for not seeing why the couple was important.

“Witnesses,” she told him, then she tapped the woman on the arm, and once she had her attention, she worked to maintain some semblance of sobriety. Rey stood straighter than she probably needed to, and spoke slowly, but steadily as she addressed them. “I know you don’t know us… but could you… could you do us a favor…? We need witnesses…”

“Are you going to the chapel at the end of the street?” the woman asked in response, the yes already visible in her eyes.

Rey gave her an enthusiastic nod. “Yes! Yes we are!” she cried, even though she’d actually had no idea where they were going. It wasn’t until she looked just a few more buildings down and saw the golden chapel with clear doors that she realized it would be there that she married Ben, and not anywhere else. “Right there…”

The woman looked at her husband, than the two maroon-clad people gave them a nod. “Why of course,” she replied.

Her husband shrugged. “Our hotel’s across the street anyway,” he grumbled in a voice that  sounded astonishingly like Han’s.

Rey looked back at Ben. “And there… we have… our witnesses,” she slurred, poking him in the chest. Ben giggled softly in response, and as they fell into fits of laughter, the couple gestured for them to follow them down the street, and the unlikely four made their way toward the chapel with a drunken camaraderie that was unmatched by any others in the city.

They marched through the glass doors of the gold framed chapel just a few minutes later, and Rey found herself mesmerized by the building’s interior. Her fascination was in part spawned by the beauty of the place, and from the fact that this was where she’d say her vows with Ben. This was where they were going to be married, and no matter what they did, even if they annulled it, that would never change.

Walking up past a few short rows of seats, Rey stared at the officiant clad in golden robes with a name tag reading “Sabe,” watching as he spread his arms to welcome them. It was then that she noticed the holographically projected candles dancing above them, flickering in the air like little orange and yellow stars, and reflected in the shining sequins of Sabe’s robes. Rey found them almost hypnotic to watch, and casually reached up a hand to wave her fingers through one as it drifted just over her head.

“Welcome,” the officiant said, and he gave a smile that was uncannily like Poe’s. It was almost enough to make her think of her commander and her mission, but not quite. The alcohol and the buzz of her love for Ben overshadowed thoughts of the Resistance well, and she found ignoring them easy. “Which of you tonight is the lucky couple?”

At this, the elderly pair they’d plucked off the street stepped back, and pointed to Ben and Rey. “These two,” the man said. “We’ve been married longer than they’ve been alive.”

All five of them shared a laugh, then Ben and Rey stepped forward as they were beckoned by a wave of their officiant’s hand. She handed their witnesses the ring box, then she turned back to her fiancé. He guided her up onto the platform, and the two of them let go of one another’s hands as they stood face to face in front of the three people who would bare witness to their union.

“And what are your names?” The officiant asked, gesturing between them.

“I’m Rey,” she told him, then he raised a perplexed eyebrow. “No last name… I think… I agreed to take his…”

“Ah, a wonderful choice,” Sabe told her, then he turned to Ben. “And what do they call you?”

Ben’s eyes locked onto hers, and he gave her a half smile. “They call me Ben… Ben _Solo_.”

The officiant —whose name Rey had already forgotten — grinned at this, then he launched into his opening spiel, but she didn’t listen. Out of the corner of her eye she could see their witnesses holding hands as they watched her and Ben face one another, but she didn’t really register them either. Suddenly it was like all of her nerves melted away, like the universe was comprised of herself, Ben, and whatever words they were about to say to one another alone.

Through their connection, she could feel waves of calm washing over her, and as her eyes met Ben’s she knew they were coming from him. It was likely an attempt to keep him calm as well as herself, but she still felt its full effect as they joined hands under the officiant’s instruction.

“If you have any vows prepared, say them now,” the man told them, and _kriff_ he even _sounded_ like Poe. “Or make them up. I don’t particularly mind either way.”

“We’ll be… we’ll be making them up,” Ben admitted, a tiny blush creeping up his cheeks that Rey could feel through their bond.

“Then go on,” the officiant said, then he stepped back, allowing the two of them to figure out who would speak first.

Rey shrugged, and gave him a nod. “You want to talk first?” she asked nervously, then they both chuckled.

“Alright, I suppose I made you wait long enough…” He said, then he took a deep breath, and started out with a single word: “ _Rey_ …” and already her world was spinning. “I know why you initially suggested we do this, but you should know, I don’t give a damn about protecting myself… I haven’t given a damn about anything in a while… until you… and I can’t say when it happened… I can try to pinpoint some sort of moment, a split second, or even a minute when I fell in love with you, but the truth is, I can’t.” His eyes were already misty as she looked into them, and she felt torn between crying and smiling herself as she listened to him speak, clinging to every word as Ben made his way through vows more passionate than she ever could’ve imagined.

“I fell in love with you slowly, and most of the time, I didn’t even realize what was happening. I’d never experienced this sort of thing for anyone before, and I didn’t recognize the feeling until I saw you in the bar a few hours ago, and I finally realized why I’d been trying so hard to get you by my side all this time.

“I made a mistake on the Supremacy, what I was trying to tell you was not that you’re nothing, because you’re so much more than that. To me, you’re everything, and I…” He took in a shaky breath, and as she watched him look down at the ground, she realized he was crying, a single tear streaking it’s way silently down his cheek as he continued.

“I love you, and if you’ll have me… I’d like for you to join me, but not like I’ve asked you before. Those other times, I wasn’t asking you the right questions. I’m not meant to be your teacher, you’re not meant to rule the galaxy with me, but I think we _are_ meant to stand by one another’s side. So if you feel it too, I don’t ever intend to leave.” He gave her a weakened laugh, then his thumb ran over her knuckles. “Just tell me you want this, and we can start it right.”

Rey’s heart was beating like a drum in her chest as she processed his words. It was a confession and a long overdue apology rolled into one. _You’re everything._ He’d told her she was everything, he’d told her he wanted her by his side as not anything in particular, and most importantly, he’d told her he loved her. It wasn’t until he finished speaking that she realized she was crying, too. There was a lump in her throat that she quickly swallowed in preparation of the words with which she chose to answer him with, but a tear still streaked it’s way down her cheek as she opened her mouth to say her vows, unable to believe how sober she sounded as she spoke.

“I don’t know when I fell for you either, but… I think I started feeling something from the moment I saw you again on Ahch To, even though… even though I had never been more angry at another person. As the time went on,” her voice was trembling terribly, but she swallowed back the lump in her throat again, and continued. “As the time went on… that anger became something else, and I think I realized it the moment you touched my hand and told me I wasn’t alone. Ever since then… I tried covering up my love with anger, I tried to deny that I loved you, but I did… _I do._

“Ben, I’m sorry for how I let us begin, but I’m not sorry for how it happened, because every time you asked me to join you, you’re right… it was always wrong in those ways… but not like this. This is right, and I know now what I feel for you because it isn't anger, it’s the opposite.  And in all my years growing up, I didn’t know what such a thing like love was. It has been only something I’d heard of in myths and legends… and from that I must conclude that we are a legend because I love you, Ben Solo.

“I… I love you with every fiber of my being, even though I shouldn’t, even though we were on opposite sides of a war and it is still going to be impossible for us to have anything but long distance calls that we don’t understand for a while yet… I still love you.”

She blinked another tear from her eyes, watching as he did the same before she resumed her speech. “And it’s because of my feelings it broke my heart not to take your hand in the throne room, it broke my heart to close the Falcon’s door on you, and even to charge at you with my weapon a few hours ago.” At this, they both laughed softly, smiling through their tears as Rey exhaled unsteadily. “But not now… now you’ve made me an offer I can’t refuse. No galaxy, no lessons, just your heart, and in return… I offer you mine as well… if you’ll have it.”

Ben choked on his words as he gave her a nod. “I-I will,” he said, then he let out another shuddering breath. “Forever.”

“I’d love that,” she whispered quietly, then they turned to the officiant, who was blinking at them dumbstruck. Apparently he was used to the usual drunken mutterings of every other Canto Bight couple, but not anything genuine. He and the witnesses both looked befuddled in the best way, and he gave them a warm, genuine smile as he nodded his approval for their vows.

“Well, that was absolutely beautiful…” he said, looking almost as if he were blinking back a tear as he beckoned the witnesses forward to present them with their rings.

Rey turned toward the old woman as she opened the box, and the two golden rings shimmered in the light of the chapel. Swallowing back more tears, she reached for his as he reached for hers, and the two of them once again stepped back to face each other on the altar.

They listened attentively as the officiant gave them the instructions, asking them to repeat a few phrases before she was allowed to slide the ring onto Ben’s large finger. Hers were trembling as she placed it on him, but she managed to complete the task, still shaking as she finished, and allowed one of her hands to fall back to her side while he reached for her other one.

Ben’s fingers shook just as badly as her own had when she’d placed his ring on his finger. Rey’s entire body shuddered as she felt him slide the cool, golden metal on her much smaller digit, then he grasped both her hands into his, and they listened to the officiant as he delivered the rest of the ceremony. Well, they tried to, again Rey found herself completely lost in his eyes, watching as the golden hue of the candles reflected itself in their watery depths as though his eyes were a smooth lake on a clear night and they were the stars. She was so hypnotized by them, she didn’t even notice their surroundings again until she heard Ben say, “I do.”

In response, she knew precisely what she had to say. There were only two words befitting the situation, and she readily replied with an, “I do,” of her own before listening to the officiant’s final command.

“Now that you’re both done interrupting me, please do us all a favor and kiss,” he said, sounding slightly exasperated as he spoke, but neither of them paid him any mind.

Ben let go of Rey’s hand, his eyes soft as they looked down at her, and he gently took her face into his palms, thumbs sweeping away the tears that had gathered on her cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered, then before she could even think to say it back, he was kissing her, and she was kissing him back.

Without question or even a semblance of thought, Rey’s hands came up to grasp his arms as she pulled him close against her, kissing him more deeply and passionately than was necessary for a kriffing _Canto Bight wedding_ , but it was the only kiss that would do. They’d just vowed forever to one another, they’d just put their emotions on display for the galaxy to know through the law that would bind them together. The typical short and sweet kiss wasn’t going to work there, and neither of them was going to pretend otherwise.

His lips had never felt more right against hers, though they’d only kissed for the first time that evening, she was already certain this was her favorite of their kisses. They fit together perfectly, as if they’d been made to kiss only each other, and for all she knew, they had. She’d never kissed anyone but Ben, and he’d never kissed anyone in turn, she was fairly certain. They’d learned how to kiss together in a booth a few blocks away, and now they were going to learn how to love properly through the rest of their lives.

Rey pulled away from him only when her lungs became starved for oxygen, panting hard as she looked into her husband’s eyes, and smiled. “We’re _married,”_ she breathed disbelievingly.

He returned her smile, then pulled her in for another brief kiss before he murmured, “I know,” into her ear, followed shortly after by, “Rey Solo.”

She let a giggle leave her, and only then did she turn to see their witnesses and the officiant clapping for them, smiles and exasperation present on the faces of all who had bore witness to the longest kiss ever seen in the galaxy. Slowly she extracted herself from Ben’s arms, moving to thank the couple as Ben spoke with the officiant. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted him exchanging credits with the man as she shook the woman’s hand, and a smile rose to her face. “Thank you so much,” she told the woman, the buzz of the alcohol returning to her now that the initial adrenaline of the ceremony was wearing off.

“No, thank _you_ dear, I was expecting a laugh and I got… that,” she said with a laugh more energetic than her years.

“You’ve made our night, kid,” her husband said, then Rey moved to shake his hand as well. “And possibly our week.”

“We’ve witnessed a few weddings in our time, but none quite as genuine as yours,” she told Rey. “Mrs. Solo, I think despite where you’ve been married, you’ll probably last longer than we have.”

“I… thank you…” Rey murmured, then the couple bid them goodbye, and she shook her head as she watched them go. She could feel the alcohol swimming in her brain again as a hand slipped into one of hers, Ben’s bare fingers sweeping over her ringed one as she turned to look at him. “Hi…”

“Hello,” he replied, then he held up something in his other hand. It took her drunken eyes a second too long to register that he was holding a champagne bottle, and she raised her eyebrows as she looked at it. “Apparently the chapel gives these out as free gifts to all its attendees.”

“Ben, we’re already… so… kriffing drunk…” she protested, though she had absolutely zero qualms about drinking further. She felt pretty decent and since they’d taken a break from drinking to marry, they were probably safe to keep going, weren’t they?

“Yes, but… we still need to celebrate,” he protested, then he held up the champagne bottle again, and sloshed around its contents a little. “And there’s a view near my room that’s absolutely breathtaking I think you should see. We could go… drink some more… go to bed…”

“... go to bed?” she asked nervously, beginning to doubt her assumption that Ben had never done anything before.

Luckily, she didn’t have to doubt for long, as they began to make their way back down the aisle, Ben shook his head. “No… not like that… we’re both definitely too drunk to even think about consummating this marriage tonight.”

“Right…”

“But if you’re willing…” he said as they walked out onto the street, feeling the cool air blow past them anew. “One day, I think I’d like to try when we’re both sober.”

“Me too,” she told him, then as they made their way back down the street together, she leaned against him. “But you should know I’ve never… I’ve never done this before. With anyone…”

Ben paused for the tiniest millisecond, then he was giving her that stupidly wonderful smile again. “We’ll figure it out together, then,” he told her. “Because I’ve never done it either.”

Relief filled them both, and she laced her fingers through his as they turned back onto the street they’d come from. “I’d like that,” she told him, then they both giggled, falling into a companionable silence as they took in the sights on their walk back to the hotel.

Once they made their return, Ben immediately led her through the casino straight toward the elevators. She rolled her eyes at him when he used the force to press the button before they even got there, but he retaliated by spinning her into his arms, causing them both to laugh as the lift doors opened.

“Come on,” Ben said, tugging on Rey’s hand to bring her into the elevator. By some miracle — or perhaps the will of the force — no one else joined them, and once he pressed the button for the top floor, the doors shut leaving them as the only two people in the elevator.

For a few seconds, they were both quiet, then Ben looked at Rey, and wrapped the arm holding the champagne bottle around her waist so that the bottom of it pressed into the swell of her ass. She ignored that feeling as she wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck, staring into those eyes that still seemed to be on fire. Those embers… those embers certainly lit a spark within her as her eyes drifted down to his lips, but before she could act on the thought that gave her, they parted to speak.

“You know, last time we were in an elevator, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss you,” he admitted, and for the briefest of seconds, she was looking back into his eyes again.

“ _Oh_?”

“I thought we weren’t going to make it out of that throne room, so I was going to at least try to do it once, just so I knew what it felt like,” he continued, then with his free hand, he cupped the base of her skull, and shook his head. “I’m glad I found out eventually.”

“Me too,” she replied, then she licked her lower lip, watching as his eyes drifted down to the now glistening skin. “But I don’t need to point out to you that we’re in a lift again… and it isn’t too late…”

“You’re so right,” he told her, then he leaned forward, and caught her lips in a kiss that stole the breath from her lungs. She gasped as their lips parted and came together rhythmically, and nearly lost her footing as she stumbled backward.

Ben followed her enthusiastically into the wall, her back meeting it with just enough force that it actually spurred her on rather than causing pain. Her fingers threaded themselves into his hair, tugging slightly so she regained control of the kiss, and spun them around so it was him who had his back to the wall. The moan he emitted in response was borderline obscene, and if she hadn’t been drunk, she would’ve suggested they take this to one of their bedrooms instead.

Unfortunately, she was, so she settled for letting him lift her from the ground with his one arm as her legs wrapped around his hips so that her front was flush with his. With her new height advantage, Rey deepened the kiss, sweeping her tongue exploratively into his mouth, becoming almost more drunk on him than she was on brandy.

Ben responded in kind, gripping her more tightly as his tongue met hers in a way that had her head spinning as he kissed her back in the same untamed way she was kissing him. They kissed like this until the elevator doors opened a few minutes later, and only then did he break away from her, but he didn’t set her down, no, he continued holding her tightly until they were a majority of the way down the hall. “You need to see this,” he whispered to her. “It’s beautiful.”

Laughter escaped Rey as he finally set her down just outside a set of doors labeled, “observation deck,” then he pushed them open to reveal a balcony overlooking a majority of the Canto Bight skyline. Overhead, she looked up to see a sky of shimmering stars, glistening peacefully on the chaotic city below. Faintly, she could hear a band playing somewhere in the courtyard in front of the hotel, and as she and Ben walked up to the railing, she watched them playing in front of a fountain. Dozens of couples danced in front of them in an upbeat waltz, and a smile grew on Rey’s face as she watched.

On beat with the song, Ben popped the cork on their champagne bottle as the celebration carried on beneath them. Rey grinned as she turned around to see him taking a swig of it, then he handed it over to her. “I should’ve let my wife drink first,” he murmured, then she shrugged as she took a big sip, drinking the expensive looking bottle as if it were beer.

It wasn’t like anyone had taught her how to properly sip champagne.

“I don’t mind,” she told him, taking another sip before handing it to Ben.

He was fighting back a smile as he sipped it, then he paused, and held the bottle up in a toast. “To us,” he said, then he gave a throaty chuckle. “To what’s either a drunken mistake or… the best thing that’s ever happened to either of us.”

“I think it could be both,” Rey replied, watching as he took another few sips. “I think maybe a drunken mistake could be the best thing that’s ever happened to either of us.”

As he handed her the bottle, Ben’s lips parted in yet another warm grin. “You’re right.” He then walked over to the railing, leaning against it as she took her turn drinking from the bottle. When she finished her turn, she joined him, then he reached up to brush a piece of her hair behind her ear. “What do you say we drink some more of this, then maybe… maybe we dance for a while?”

She scoffed in disbelief. “You? Dancing? I don’t believe it.”

“I’ll have you know, I’m not bad at it.”

“Even drunk?”

“Even when I’m drunk,” he assured her, then she gripped the bottle in her hand, and tilted it toward him.

“Alright, let’s dance,” she told him, then they did as he suggested, drinking for a while in another quiet as they watched the couples sway below to the music the band played. It was actually rather nice, just standing up there on the roof with him like that. The atmosphere was beautiful, the cool evening breeze was the most peaceful thing she’d witnessed in ages, probably since she’d been a child on Jakku, before her parents had left. She likely didn’t even remember the last time she’d felt so content.

They’d drank most of the way through the bottle before Ben finally set it down, and offered his hand to her. She watched as it swam in her vision, and she knew immediately that she’d had far too much to drink, but through the bond, she knew he was feeling much the same. “You want to dance?” He asked gently.

Feeling the alcohol buzz through her system, she gave him a nod, and then whooped loudly as he pulled her out onto the center of the balcony, spinning her into his arms anew as the two drunkenly began to sway side to side. At that point, her head was spinning so badly, she was almost feeling nauseous, but that feeling was also being doubled by her ability to feel the same sensation in her husband, amd she pushed any concern about it aside as she let him position her properly for a dance.

Ben’s grip was gentle as he placed one of her hands on his upper arm, and another holding his before he adjusted himself. A moment later, his hand was at her back, a hand gripping hers as they swayed across a balcony, listening to the music from below. Smiles were on both of their faces as he held her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead as the music swelled in the background. A cool breeze blew her hair from her shoulders, and as he pulled away, she found herself wishing that it would always be like this, that their time there never had to come to an end.

“I’m sorry I’m so drunk,” she slurred, finding it difficult to keep her head still on her neck, or to look at him with anything more than hooded eyes. “I would be a better dancer otherwise.”

“No, me too,” he replied, giving her a light hearted chuckle. “But one day, I’ll have to teach you properly how to dance. We’ll go somewhere else, somewhere no one will know who we are, and I’ll show you everything I know.”

“And what do you know?” she asked, imagining it wasn’t much. He hadn’t exactly gotten around the galaxy by dancing his way through it.

“You forget who my mother is.” He spun her out in a dizzying, unexpected twirl that had her giggling in delight as she spun back into his arms. “She made sure I knew.”

Rey nodded. “That makes a bit more sense,” she said, then she hummed contentedly, resting her head against his chest as they kept swaying. “But for now… this… this is nice, I’m… I’m glad we did this…”

“Me too.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

She pulled away from him, then, and stood up on the tips of her toes, leaning forward to press another kiss to his lips that he quickly returned as his hand came up from where it held hers to cup her jaw, deepening the kiss as the music grew more soft and slow in the distance. A different waltz was playing now, but Rey didn’t care. All she could think about was how wonderful it felt to kiss him, how right it was that the two of them were finally together instead of separated by lightyears of space.

“I love you,” she told him quietly as she pulled away, then he smiled as he kissed her again in what must’ve been the shortest, but most passionate kiss known to the galaxy.

Rey was grinning as he leaned his forehead against hers, then he sighed, his breath ghosting over her lips as he replied with, “I love you, too.” Then they continued swaying to the tune of that old waltz, the rest of the galaxy lost on them through a buzz of emotions and alcohol.

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed on that roof dancing and kissing. It could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours, but she didn’t worry about the passage of time. All her attention was on her husband as they danced about the balcony, the lights of the city only serving as atmosphere to light him up in a halo of white and gold as he grinned down at her.

Occasionally he pulled her in for a lengthy, slow kiss; none of them ever quite managing to become as intense as what had transpired in the elevator earlier, but each one full of meaning. With every kiss she could hear his vows in her head again, she could hear his promise of forever as the tears streamed down his face. As she pulled away after their last kiss, she saw those tears in his eyes again, and he quickly concealed himself from view as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Are you alright?” she whispered, concern lacing her voice as she felt his emotions swirling through the bond.

“I’m fine, I just… I love you,” he told her, then he sighed as he stroked her hair. “I wanted you to hear it again, cause I’m… I don’t know how much of this I’ll remember in the morning…”

“I’m sure it’ll be enough,” Rey promised him, though she wasn’t sure herself just how much _she_ was going to remember. “If we… we created something tonight… I think… we’ll have to remember it, won’t we?”

“Only one way to find out.” Ben yawned as he pulled away, then he pressed his lips to her forehead one more time. “We should… we should turn in. We’ve got a lot ahead of us…”

“Hmmm… you’re right,” Rey murmured, then she untangled herself from his embrace, and walked over to where they’d set down the bottle of champagne. It was almost empty, and as she picked it up, only the tiniest amount of liquid sloshed around within the glass. “We’ll… we’ll want to get rid of this, won’t we?”

Ben gestured for her to hand it over, and he looked at it for a second before he unceremoniously poured it out over the deck. “We’ve more than passed our limit for the night,” he said, then she nodded her agreement as he set it down, then reached out for her hand again.

As Rey laced her fingers through his, she would swear that nothing in her life had ever felt so right. Holding Ben’s hand while they walked back through the hotel, she knew that somehow, despite the circumstances being wrong, they’d made the right choice. Their rushed elopement had been the greatest mistake she’d ever made, if it was a mistake, but as she guided Ben to the elevators, she had an odd feeling she’d never regret it.

“Why are we going to the elevator my room’s right down the hall?” Ben protested, the slur in his voice sounding like a whine.

“Because I want to sleep in my room tonight, thank you very much,” she told him, copying his earlier trick of using the force to press the button to summon the lift. He chuckled warmly as he watched her, then when the elevator opened its doors on them a minute later, he pulled her inside, wrapping her up in his arms in a tight but sweet embrace.

She only just remembered to reach behind her and press the button for her floor as the lift doors closed and they began to descend— too lost in Ben’s touch to notice anything else when her arms came up to return it. She didn’t even realize they’d been alone in the elevator until the doors opened up, and they had to step out to walk to her room. Rey tugged on his hand to lead him out of the chrome-plated elevator and down the halls, finding her way to her room fairly smoothly even though she could barely keep her eyes open.

By the time she got to her room, everything was well and truly spinning from the combination of euphoria, alcohol, and exhaustion. Ben seemed to realize this, too, and once she got the door open he led her over to her bed, and set her down on it, which impressed her considerably since he was at least as drunk as her. Once he’d set her down, Ben sat down beside her, and she felt his bare palm stroking her hair.

“Ben, would you mind helping me take off… these?” She gestured to her arm wraps, then she shrugged. “They get itchy.”

He leaned over her to press another kiss to her forehead, then he took one of her arms in his hands, and began to carefully undo the intricate white wrappings she’d done that morning when she headed out on her mission. Rey watched as his brows furrowed in concentration as he slowly undid them piece by piece, his surprisingly nimble fingers — which were sending thoughts that would have even Poe clutching his chest scandalized through her brain — working with the skill of an artist until he finished one wrap, then he let it fall to the floor beside the bed before moving on to the other.

Ben was hypnotic to watch. He reached gently for the leather cuff on her other wrist, undoing it with that sinfully skillful hand, then he let that fall to the floor beside her first wrap before he moved on to the next one. Her breathing grew shaky as she watched him undo this one, watching as he undid the intricate white fabric until he reached the top of her arm. The second wrapping glided to the floor in much the same manner as the first, but he didn’t quite release her arm just yet. No, his eyes became fixated on something else that his hands slid up to meet. It wasn’t until his thumb slid over the ridge of raised skin on her upper arm she remembered her scar.

“I watched you get this…” he murmured softly. “I tried to fight like hell to get to you— to try to help… but you wound up saving me…”

“I’d do it again,” she promised him, then her breath caught in her throat as she watched him lean down, and press a gentle kiss to her scar. His lips were cool against her skin —probably because they’d been up on the cold observation deck for a few minutes too long —but she didn’t mind. The gesture sent a different kind of shiver down her spine as he pulled away, and his eyes bore into hers.

They stayed there like that for a second, just staring at each other, then Ben moved down toward her feet, undoing the laces of her boots before he slid them off, and moved to do the same to himself. “I’m going to wear my gloves tonight,” he muttered, then he blew hot air from his lungs onto his aching palms. “It was cold up there…”

Rey rolled her eyes, then winced at the dizziness that brought her. “Ah, _kriff…”_

“What’s wrong?”

“I feel like… like I’m going to throw up,” she murmured, then Ben immediately left her side, walking over to the other side of the room in search of something. At first she was concerned she’d somehow managed to gross him out, but then he was back, and he placed a waste bin by her side of the bed before also planting another short kiss to her lips.

Kriff, Ben was proving to be pretty damn good at this husband thing, and if they’d only been married for a few hours and he was already like this, she couldn’t _wait_ to see what the rest of their life together had in store. As he pulled away, she watched as he brought his gloves out from his belt, and put them back on one by one, clenching his fists a few times until he decided he was comfortable, then she grabbed his wrist. “Are you alright, Rey?”

“I’m fine… I just…” She tan her thumb over the leather of his glove where it covered his knuckles. “I just really love you…”

He yawned, but gave her a nod in response. “I love you, too,” he said, and they’d already said it so many times that night, but she knew she’d never tire of hearing it. That same contentment she’d felt on the roof flooded through her anew as Ben walked around to her other side, then  he got into the bed beside her, scooting forward until he was able to scoop her into his arms again. A gentle kiss was placed to the juncture of her neck and spine, then she felt him rest his forehead against the back of hers, and his own happiness washed over the bone to create a serenity she never thought she’d see.

“Goodnight, Rey,” he whispered against her neck, and she felt his energy fade slowly into unconsciousness.

“Goodnight, Ben,” she replied, certain he heard it just before his muted force signature told her he was asleep, then she closed her eyes, letting sleep take over her as well with a prayer to whatever was listening that she’d remember this in the morning.


	10. Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter decreed that I post this today instead of later, so it's here now. Thank twitter.

**_A Few Days Later…_ **

 

Rey didn’t even hesitate. The moment the weight of her memories settled in, she threw her arms around Ben’s neck, pulling him into an embrace that had them both stumbling on their feet even as they continued swaying gently to the melody playing in the background. Both of their vows echoed loudly in her brain, and despite knowing now how to annul their marriage, she knew there was no way in hell that she’d ever be able to.

They’d promised each other forever; vowed it in a shady little chapel just a few streets away from where they now danced, and despite those circumstances, that wasn’t going to change.

“What the hell are we going to do?” Ben asked softly, his arms wrapping around her tightly as if he were afraid that the moment he let her go, the force would cruelly separate them as it was wont to do. “We can’t end this now… I… I can’t end this… I didn’t want to before, but now…”

She gave him a nod. “I know… I don’t want to end it either,” she told him, then she unwrapped her arms from around his neck, but stood close to him as an idea came into her mind. Ben looked at her inquisitively for a moment, but then he relaxed as she tugged at the string on her shirt where her ring had hung from in secrecy up until that moment, bringing it into full view before she slipped it onto her finger. She wrapped the string it was attached to around her wrist so it wouldn’t dangle loosely in the wind, then she brought that hand up to caress her husband’s cheek. “But until we manage to find a solution to get you away from the order, we’re going to have to be careful.”

Ben leaned forward, and pressed a gentle, intimate kiss to her forehead before his arms once again enveloped her, and hers surrounded him in turn before they stood there in the embrace, swaying gently with the breeze and the music in the background creating the perfect serenity. “I know, but… I love you… I’m willing to do whatever it takes. We’ve both been alone for too long.”

Tears welled within her eyes as she listened to his words, and she pulled away just enough so that she could see his face again, watching the colors of the city below dancing in his eyes. “This is absolutely mad,” she breathed, biting her lower lip for a second as she thought through all the obstacles standing in their way. “We’ve managed for a few days so far to hide this, but we can’t do it forever…”

“We’ll have to be quick about a solution, but tonight… let’s pretend that we’re not anyone special, and we’re just celebrating.”

“That’ll be a bit difficult. You’re not even here…” she murmured softly, then she sighed. “Unless you can be?”

He shook his head. “I can’t. Believe me, I want to, but I can’t. I’ve already pushed my limits with Hux just leaving for the few days I did.” She felt his heart sink as he watched a tear stream down her left cheek, then he reached up to gingerly wipe it away. “I think for a while… this is going to be all we have.”

Swallowing back the lump she could feel forming in her throat, she began to stroke his hair. “Then that’s enough for me,” she said, blinking away another tear. “Until we can meet again… that will be enough.”

“But the moment I’m out… I’ll find you, I promise.”

“You won’t have to try,” she told him. “I’ll tell you where I am.”

At this he laughed, his smile brighter than a thousand suns as it filled her vision. “That would help tremendously,” he replied, then they both burst into another fit of giggles before he unwrapped his arms from around her waist. “But until then… now that we’re both sober… can we keep dancing until the force disconnects us?”

Beaming at him, Rey offered her husband her ringed hand. “I thought you’d never ask,” she replied, then he took her hand, and before she could say anything else, he swept her into another waltz. She shrieked with delight as his hand cupped the small of her back, and with his other hand, Ben’s fingers laced through hers as he guided her across the balcony.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered the air pressure dropping and the humidity rising with the arrival of an oncoming storm, but she ignored it in favor of laughing with him as he spun her about the deck. Thunderstorms and nature could wait. They had lost time to make up for.

They were both still smiling stupidly as they calmed down from their laughter, and the music from the band below picked up its pace. Inquisition filled their connection then, and she cocked her head to the side curiously as she wondered what he was thinking. “What’s on your mind?”

“Our conversation from a few days ago,” he replied, then he spun her out and back into his arms. “Where we talked about how we’d thought of marriage in our youth.”

“Yeah?”

“I was just thinking that it feels like one of those stories I heard as a child… We’re not supposed to feel this way… this isn’t what we’re supposed to want…”

“But it is,” she finished, stepping back and then forward with the beat of the song. “It’s… it’s exactly what we want.”

Ben gave her a gentle nod. “Just like the stories.”

“I just hope this one has a good ending,” Rey murmured, then the two of them fell quiet, dancing across the balcony effortlessly. Despite having never really danced before she met Ben, she found she was able to glide with him like she’d grown up in ballrooms and cities with big, loud lights rather than the desert and it’s blowing sands that stripped away pieces of her being.

Neither of them said another word until that song came to a close, and even then they didn’t talk, but instead she watched her husband’s eyes drift down in a way that let her know precisely what he was looking at. She gave him the tiniest, most subtle parting of her lips, then leaned forward, standing on the balls of her feet to kiss him as their waltz became a sway once more.

This kiss, like the others that had come before it, felt freeing and full of hope. It made her long for the future they had yet to experience together, and made her certain that they’d get the chance to be together again in person one day. As it went on, she wondered if it would always feel this way — if someday they’d become old and gray, and their skin would lose its youthful glow and their kisses would still feel like this. Would his lips always be so soft? Would his body always feel warm against hers, blocking out the slight chill that had started to come in on the evening breeze?

She had no way of knowing, all she knew was in that moment, she was completely lost in Ben. In fact, she was so lost, she didn’t sense the presence of another human approaching the deck until the door opened, and there was a shocked gasp coming from the person who had witnessed their kiss.

Without warning, Rey came back into reality, wrenching herself away from Ben as quickly as she could, and mourning the loss of his touch the second it was gone. As her gaze fell upon their witness, she knew that her husband had faded away from their connection, but that was sidelined by what she saw before her. “ _Finn,”_ she breathed, heart racing as she wondered just how screwed she was.

It was known to her that Leia could see Ben regardless of how close he was to Rey simply because she was also force sensitive. But Finn wasn’t, and yet he was staring at her slack jawed with disbelief and recognition written plainly on his features. He’d seen Ben, and she was absolutely sure of this fact before her friend even spoke a single word. _It’s because we were touching,_ she thought distantly, and not just touching, but sharing a kiss.

“Rey…” Finn breathed after a while, looking utterly shell-shocked as he stared between her and the place Ben had been standing up until a few seconds prior.

“Finn… how much did you see…?” she asked nervously, fully aware that her voice was trembling. Actually, her entire body was shaking, and it wasn’t just from the absence of her husband’s warmth.

He didn’t look like he knew what to say, but she watched, horrified, as his eyes drifted down to the string tied around her left wrist… and all the way to the ring it was attached to. A shuddering breath left her as Finn added the elements he’d just seen together, and pointed at her with an astonished finger. “Rey… what  was that?”

“What did you see?” she repeated.

“I…” Finn almost looked like he wanted to laugh. “I don’t know… because it looked like you were kissing Kylo Ren until he…” Her friend gestured vaguely. “... until he disappeared into thin air.”

Rey held her breath, unsure of how to explain what had happened or even what to say. How the hell did she react to this? How did she explain a marriage that was supposed to be kept as a firm secret between herself, Ben, and Rose Tico at most?

“And you have that,” Finn added, pointing a finger at her left hand, his gaze again fixated on her wedding ring. “Rey… why… why do you have that?”

“I’m married,” she said quietly, staring at the ground rather than Finn because she didn’t know how to tell him while looking him in the eyes.

“Since when?”

“Since I was here a few days ago… I… I was drunk after I finished the mission, and I…”

“What? Ran into Kylo Ren and decided marrying him was a good idea?” Finn asked, sounding bewildered, though beneath his astonishment, she sensed conflict warring within him. He was contemplating his next action already, and she dreaded to know what he planned to do in response.

Rey shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”

“How is it not simple?” Finn asked, then he stepped forward. “Actually, I’ll give you that one. There’s got to be a long list of reasons why even drunk you’d marry the Supreme Leader of the  first order and then kiss him _sober_ several days later… almost as if it were genuine.”

“Because it _is_ genuine,” she said, finally finding the courage to look him in the eye. “What happened between us? It’s real.” Rey crossed her arms over her chest and clenched her left hand into a fist, allowing her thumb to run over the smooth metal of her ring. “We have a connection in the force… we’ve had it for a while… that’s why he was here just now, but we ran into each other in the city a few days ago.”

“And decided to get married?”

“No,” she said sternly. “I told you, it’s not simple. The long story short is he doesn’t want to be in the First Order, but if he leaves, if he’s no longer in charge…”

“The General is…”

Rey nodded. “Poe calls him General Hugs as a joke, but unchecked that man could wipe out whole systems, we’ve seen him do it under Snoke’s hand. Imagine what he could do without having to answer to a higher power.”

“... He’d be unstoppable.”

“So Kylo can’t leave, but once he does, he’s going to need protection. The Resistance won’t accept him alone, but my drunken brain thought that marrying him would be the best idea… but then we realized…” Rey paused, looking down at the ring on her finger before she slowly undid the tie of the necklace from her wrist, and slipped it off. “We actually did care for each other. So that wound up being the reason we got married. It was, in the end, a genuine marriage, and… we didn’t want to tell anyone about it. The more people know the more danger Kylo is in from his side. And Poe…”

“You’d never hear the end of it if Poe found out,” Finn pointed out, sounding less on edge than he had when he’d made the discovery of her marriage a moment earlier.

“Exactly,” she replied, relief flooding through her that Finn seemed to understand the situation. “You can’t tell him, not until we manage to find a way to free Ben from the Order.”

Finn looked at her apprehensively for a moment, then he nodded. “Who else knows?”

“What?”

“Rey, I’m not stupid,” he replied, stepping forward again so that he was just outside of her personal space. “You couldn’t keep this kind of secret alone.” Another microstep, and his arms crossed over his chest. “Who else knows?”

Pausing for a moment, Rey uncrossed her arms from her chest, and placed her ring back over her head in its necklace form, making sure it was tucked safely beneath her shirt before she answered him. “Rose knows,” she admitted. “She’s the only person I told until you caught me. Up until tonight she’s been helping me try to annul it. The marriage is dangerous to us both… at least… we thought it was…”

“So you’re not annulling it then?”

“I don’t want to,” she said, sniffling slightly at the thought. “Not now that I know it was genuine. It wasn’t… it wasn’t just some drunken mistake, Finn.”

“I believe you.”

“Are you going to tell Poe?” she asked curiously. “I know you’ve just started your relationship with him and I don’t want to put you in a compromising position—“

Finn shook his head. “It’s not my story to tell, Rey. If he finds out, it’ll be because you told him.”

“You’re not worried about this jeopardizing my interests? Or maybe that B-Kylo is lying to me about his intentions?”

Another apprehensive look crossed his face, then Finn shrugged. “Rey, aside from Poe, you’re the first real friend I ever had. I trust you as much as I trust him and Rose. If this is what you believe is right… then it’s right.”

Hearing this, Rey surged forward, and launched the two into an unexpected but certainly welcome embrace. Finn grunted upon the impact, but soon he was returning her gesture, and it almost reminded her perfectly of when they saw each other again for the first time on Crait, though with slightly less dire circumstances. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t thank me, you know I’d do anything for you,” he told her, then she pulled away, realizing something else. It must’ve shown on her face, for Finn immediately furrowed his brows in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“What are you doing up here? I thought you, Poe, and Rose were about to lose yourselves to the luxuries of Canto Bight.”

“We thought about it, but then we realized that drinking much more ran the risk of jeopardizing the mission, so we stopped,” he explained, then he gestured to the doors behind him. “I came up here to tell you we were all turning in for the night and to not come looking for us at the bar. Probably could’ve just messaged you on the coms, but I saw the way you looked when you slipped away and I was worried.”

Rey gave him a warm smile, then she patted his upper arm. “Thanks for checking up on me,” she said.

“I always will.”

As they’d talked, the pressure in the air had continued dropping, and in the distance, Rey spotted dark clouds illuminated by heat lightning, a sure sign of an oncoming storm. With that in mind, she cleared her throat, then looked back at Finn. “Right and you can do it again after we’ve both gotten some kriffing sleep,” she told him, then she turned toward the doors. “You never know how tomorrow’s meeting might go… and besides… there’s a storm coming.”

A laugh escaped Finn, then he nodded his agreement. “We’re heading in, then?”

“We’re heading in,” she said, and with that, the two left the balcony, and she gave it one last glance over her shoulder as she held the door open, then she walked into the hallway beside Finn.

As the two waited for the lift a moment later, her friend shuffled awkwardly on his feet, then he sighed. “So what’s he like? Kylo Ren… he seems like he’s always… intense.”

“I don’t know how to describe it but… he’s a better man than he lets on,” she told him as the elevator doors opened. “He’s… he’s good, Finn.. Maybe not perfect, but good.”

“As long as he doesn’t hurt you.”

“I appreciate your concern given what you’ve experienced, but he and I… we’ve come to understand each other more intimately than most.”

Finn’s eyes went wide as they stepped into the elevator, and she pressed the buttons designated for their floors. “You didn’t…?”

“ _No!_ ” she cried in protest. “Kriff, no. We were too drunk on our wedding night and up until a few hours ago we both thought we were going to annul the marriage and pretend nothing ever happened.” But now they weren’t drunk, now they were sober. That meant that at anytime they wanted, whether it was through the bond or if they were lucky enough to meet in person, they could finally consummate their marriage after more than half a week of waiting. The thought had Rey’s insides churning with a dizzy sort of excitement as she actually considered having sex with Ben for the first time.

They were married. They had wanted each other since before they were married. Doing this was only a matter of time, but it was definitely going to happen. She wanted it to happen, and if memory served, so did he.

“I mean, it’s up to you, but… I don’t know how I would’ve reacted to hearing that…” Finn said, then he groaned. “Now that image is burned in my brain.”

“You did that to yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did,” he replied as the elevator came to a stop at his floor. “Anyway, this is my stop. You gonna be okay for the night?”

As the doors opened, she grinned at him. “I will be, thanks, Finn.”

Returning her smile, her best friend made his way out of the lift, giving her one last nudge of the shoulder before he left her, then she watched him retreat down the halls before the lift descended two floors further down to her room. It felt like she could breathe once she was alone, and she leaned back against the rear wall of the lift cupping her head in her hands as she processed all that had just happened.

They’d danced, talked, kissed, and remembered everything. On top of that, they’d then immediately agreed to start a forbidden relationship that could easily have massive consequences if anyone beyond the now four people who already knew found out. If the wrong person learned, it could severely jeopardize both her and Ben’s lives. She needed to eventually tell Poe what had happened — maybe not that she’d married him, but perhaps that Ben was hoping to leave the order and maybe at most imply that she had romantic feelings for him if she had to — so he didn’t hear it the wrong way if Finn accidentally told him or if he overheard something from her and Rose, but that would wait for another day.

For now, she intended to get as much rest as she possibly could before she had to face the day tomorrow, and meet whoever it was they were going to meet for their mission. When the elevator doors opened a few minutes later, she stepped out onto an empty hallway with a smile on her face, lost in the memory of the dance they’d shared on the balcony. If she closed her eyes, she’d swear she could still imagine how it felt to have Ben’s lips pressed against hers, could still feel them moving together as if he were actually there.

She was so lost in thought she almost walked past her room, then quietly snickered to herself when she realized what she’d done. As she opened her door, though, she realized she needed to get herself in gear and quit acting like a lovestruck teenager. She needed to focus, to use her highly sharpened survival instinct to get herself and Ben through this phase of their relationship alive, and stop letting herself get distracted by the sudden influx of pleasant memories she was getting.

That proved to be easier said than done when she walked into her room, and closed the door behind her. Instantly, she was greeted by a deep voice that shook her to her core, and she yelped in fright as he spoke. “Are you alright?” Ben asked, and she was stunned to find him standing by the floor to ceiling window on the far side of the room just beyond the bed. He wasn’t facing her yet, seeming to almost be overlooking the city before he turned around, and she saw the worry in his eyes.

Immediately, she ran up to him, and launched her arms around his neck, pulling him to her in a tight embrace. Ben stumbled backward upon the impact, but didn’t hesitate to pick her up off the ground, spinning her in a tight circle that had her shrieking her delight. “Hi,” he breathed as he set her down.

“Hi,” she replied, then she pressed a kiss to his cheek as she pulled away. “I’m so sorry about earlier… Finn found us.”

“FN-2187?”

“He goes by Finn now.”

Ben hummed his understanding as he pulled away, then out of the corner of her eye, she saw a distant bolt of lightning hit the ground beyond the nearby waterfall. “There’s a thunderstorm rolling in,” he observed, undoubtedly having seen its light flickering on her face.

Rey gave him a nod. “There is. I started feeling the air pressure drop while we were dancing,” she told him, then she sighed. “I forgot about it when I was convincing Finn not to tell anyone what he saw.”

“Were you successful?”

“He never even considered it. Once he knew about your intentions to leave… it wasn’t hard to ask him to keep it quiet.”

A breath of relief escaped Ben as he caressed Rey’s face in his hands. “Good,” he whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’ve spent the last half an hour worried about you.”

“It would’ve affected you, too if he took it badly.”

“I don’t care,” he said, pressing a brief, gentle kiss to her lips. “I just care about you.”

Rey’s breath was nearly sucked from her lungs. “ _Ben,_ ” she managed to say in time with a rolling boom of thunder. Outside, rain began to pour; coming at first in droplets and soon after in a fountain that ceased to quit, but she didn’t notice, still processing what he’d told her over and over again like a mantra in her head. “It’s raining.”

“I can hear it.” He pulled away from her then, just enough so that he was looking over to where the window was. “All I can see is the stars, but... there’s water falling on my window.” Ben chuckled as he stared at it. “It’s raining in space, Rey.”

She giggled in response. “I’d like to see that,” she murmured, placing her hands over his chest, and feeling his heart beating evenly beneath her palms. “It’s probably one hell of a view.”

“Right now we’re flying past an old nebula,” he told her, and she could see his face lit in a pinkish-gold hue that wasn’t coming from any of the city’s lights outside. “It’s beautiful out here. Then you add in the rain… and it’s beyond belief.”

Rey closed her eyes, allowing herself to picture the glowing cloud of gas and dust as it burned through matter in the dark vacuum of space, creating light where there really shouldn’t be light, and shining through impossible droplets of water on a window that was moving at speeds undreamt of by generations past. “I can almost see it.”

“Almost,” he replied, brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. “But not quite.”

“Someday, though,” she promised him. “And someday soon.”

Ben pressed another, gentle kiss to her forehead, then he took one of the hands she held to his chest in his, and kept it there. “Are you alone now?”

“I’m in my room. I think it might even be the same one I dragged you into on our wedding night,” she joked, then she let the last three words sink in. _Their wedding night._ They hadn’t exactly had a traditional wedding night, opting to skip out on the consummation of their marriage due to their lack of sobriety, but now… unless the force decided to be abnormally cruel to the pair, they were free to do whatever they wished. “Ben…”

He said nothing, instead opting to lean down and kiss her again in a manner more soft and tender than he’d ever kissed her before. It almost felt like he was asking her a question, dipping his toe into waters before he decided to chart them fully. She paused against his lips, debating whether or not to answer him for only a fraction of a second before she gave in, and returned it, but she was certainly a little more hungry in the way she went about it than he was.

To his credit, though, Ben picked up on this rather quickly, setting a rhythm between them with his lips as he slid the hand still caressing one of her cheeks down by her hip, letting it rest there for a moment before he let go of her hand, and slid the other down to the same place on the other side. Rey’s own hands slid up from his chest, feeling his heartbeat becoming uneven as they brushed over the center and made their way up around his neck, pulling her body flush against his.

He smiled into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up like he had in the elevator the night of their wedding. That night, the most intense they’d gotten had been a raw, fierce kiss where they’d become borderline animalistic on their way up to the balcony, but allowed themselves to go no further than that one, heated exchange.

This night would be different; she could already tell in the way Ben’s hands caught her thighs as her legs wrapped around his hips, her feet crossing over the mild swell of his ass all while she was still kissing him. Their bond was singing in the air around them, emotions not at war, but blending in with one another in soft little currents in the undertow of waves in the ocean of space that separated them.

Rey let herself bury her hands in his hair, delighting in how soft his waves felt beneath her fingertips, then a second later in the deep, guttural moan that left him as he kissed her, one of his hands leaving her thighs to support the small of her back. His bare palm felt warm through the layers of her clothing, and she hummed into the kiss as he splayed his long fingers out over her spine, his middle finger tracing the little ridges he found there.

Through the bond, she could sense Ben’s sheer joy as he kissed her, then mischief underlay it, and she slowly pulled away to look at the smirk that had crossed his face as they kissed. “What?”

“Where’s the bed?” he asked quietly, still holding her tightly in his arms as he looked up at her through hooded eyes.

“Behind us,” she told him, sparing a glance over her shoulder. “About three paces back.”

“I think mine is, too, otherwise this is about to be extraordinarily awkward,” he warned her, then he leaned forward, pressing his kisses down along the line of her jaw as he walked toward the bed, then he gripped her even more tightly as she felt his legs come into contact with it.

As his kisses landed on her neck, he slowly lowered her down to the mattress, and she temporarily released his hair from her grip, holding onto his shoulders through the descent. Once she felt her back meet the smooth, cool, unrumpled sheets, they were weaving through his black locks anew, gripping them tightly as she felt him crawl onto the bed with her, and his kisses were once again being peppered against her neck.

A shaky moan left her as he planted an open mouthed one near the juncture of her neck and shoulder, sucking the skin into his mouth in a way that she knew was going to leave a mark in the morning. She may not have done this before, but she’d been friends with Poe Dameron long enough to know what such a bruise would look like. As Ben left one on her, she felt an overwhelming sense of pride washing over them both, making her feel like her whole body was on fire in the best way as he pulled away from that spot, and left another, more gentle kiss there.

When he finished, he moved back into view, his wavy hair held back only by her hands, but a few loose strands framed his face. Backlit by the stormy skies over Canto Bight, he looked almost ethereal, and when lightning struck again in the distance — though this time it was much closer — she could see the love in his eyes as he stared down at her, asking the question he’d initially asked with his lips with his eyes.

 _Did she want this as badly as he did? Did she want the same_ thing _he did?_

The answer was yes, and she gave it to him in the form of pulling his hair to bring him back into the kiss, in nudging him with her legs to settle himself properly over her. He responded to her enthusiasm with his own, and he braced himself on top of her on his elbows, kissing her deeply as his warmth covered her like a blanket. She gasped into the kiss as she felt him between her legs, his erection brushing up against the apex of her thighs as another — rather pleasant — reminder of what they were about to do.

Rey ground her hips against his, seeking friction as her hands wandered down past his shoulders, searching the expanse of his chest for the belt wrapped around his waist. She found it a moment later, another wave of pride filling her as her fingers deftly undid the clasp, and Ben pulled away from their kiss to laugh at the gleeful noise she made once she freed him from its confines. _Kriff,_ she really loved his laugh, and she knew in that moment she would never ever grow tired of hearing it.

“Shut up,” she teased him as she tossed the belt over the side of the bed, then she kissed him again, ensuring that he didn’t get the chance to even try formulating a sarcastic, witty response to her command.

If Ben was mourning the loss of his ability to produce sarcasm, he wasn’t saying it, and she was fairly certain he wasn’t thinking it either if the waves of mutual pleasure crashing into the bond were anything to go by. Rey was grinning against him as she deepened their kiss, her tongue meeting his in the nonexistent space between them while her hands next reached for the rim of his tunic, pulling it slowly up his long, broad torso. She could feel the hard planes of his abdominal muscles tensing as she did so, and shivers raced through her as she remembered the first and only time she’d ever seen him like this back on Ahch To.

She’d wanted to run her fingers over him then just as badly as she did now.

Breaking away from the kiss, Ben pushed himself off of her a little ways to tug the tunic over his head with one, swift motion, and she was pleased to realize that he wasn’t wearing arm guards that night. His biceps were on full display the minute his shirt was gone, and Rey was running her hands down the curves there, too, feeling the hard, smooth ridges there as his arms reached down to the mattress, resting themselves on either side of her head. “Rey…”

“I know,” she replied, then she reached down, releasing her grip on his arms to undo the clasp of her own leather belt, unbuckling it with a shaky hand as she looked into his eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He gave her a nod. “I’m sure. There’s… there’s no one I’d rather do this with than you…” he then leaned down, and whispered in her ear. “With my _wife._ ”

Rey’s entire body shuddered at his words, then with a breathy laugh, she was kissing him again, earning a moan from her husband as her hands wound themselves into his hair. His quickly responded by reaching for the draping covering her top, slipping it off to the side of one shoulder before doing the same to the other. On each side, he placed tiny kisses to the still clothed skin of her shoulder, the gesture so tender and sweet, Rey could feel his love for her radiating off of him through that gesture alone.

Ben pulled away from her then, sitting back against the bed’s headboard as he tugged on her hand. With a small smile parting her lips, she crawled into his lap, sitting down with her legs on either side of his as she let her drapes fall to a puddle at her hips. She could sense his racing heart through the bond as he peeled them away from her, then his trembling fingers reached for the hem of her shirt.

“Can I…?”

She nodded, then shook again as his skin brushed against hers, gliding up the planes of _her_ abdomen now as he pushed her shirt up. Both of them were trembling as their eyes locked, hers keeping careful track of his as he finally pushed it up past her band, and she felt his massive palm briefly skim over her left breast. He seemed to almost flinch upon realizing what part of her he’d touched, then she giggled nervously as she rested a hand on his cheek, her thumb fitting perfectly along the line of the scar she’d given him. “Ben, it’s okay,” she promised him, pressing a short, sweet kiss to his forehead. “I promise.”

Another brief pause passed between them, then she took the hem of her shirt and quickly lifted it over her head before tossing it onto the floor beside his. His eyes were dark, but his gaze was soft as he looked at her, letting himself take in the sight of her de-robed torso in a way he couldn’t when he’d seen her days earlier in the fresher. Then they landed on the necklace that held her ring, watching it dangle loosely over the fabric of her breast band.

Without him having to say a word, Rey removed it from around her neck, lightning catching the golden band for a microsecond as she began to untie the knot binding it to the string, then she slipped it onto her finger, and laid that hand on his jaw, letting him feel the warm metal against his skin. Ben hummed appreciatively, then she looked down to where his hands were reaching for her now, catching sight of his wedding ring in the glow of whatever nebula he was drifting by as his hands reached for her torso.

Like she had when she’d removed his shirt, Ben’s hands drifted over her skin exploratively, learning every little contour for the first time. Her breathing grew uneven as his fingers ghosted over her rib cage, watching his hands until they swept around to her back again, spreading out over her breast band as he pulled her close again.

For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her, and while he leaned forward, it was only to whisper quietly in her ear another admission of love. His voice was almost drowned out by a booming clap of thunder, then blending in with the harsh pattering of the rain outside. In the end, she heard him more with his emotions in the bond than she did with her ears, but his meaning was still very clear.

She pulled away, watching Ben as he was illuminated again by lightning, mixing in with the glow of his nebula for the tiniest, beautiful millisecond. Rey reached up a hand to bathe her fingers in the golden light for a moment, then she leaned forward, and reunited her lips with his, answering his admission in time with another rolling wave of thunder as she kissed him, saying all the words she wasn’t capable of saying through her actions alone.

She began to move on top of him, one hand gripping his hair while the other began to make its way down his chest toward the waistline of his trousers. With a subtle shift of her hips,  she began to grind down onto him, quickly figuring out what made her husband the most responsive as he moaned from pleasant surprise into the kiss.

Ben was a quick learner, though, and he soon responded in kind, grinding up into her in perfect time with the rhythm she’d set so that she let out an obscene moan of her own. If the rest of the hotel couldn’t hear them before, they certainly could now.

Not wanting to be out done, Rey pulled away again, laughing at the pout another lightning strike illuminated on his face before she shifted forward again, creating friction between them that caused them both to groan into one another as Ben buried his face in her neck. She felt the vibrations of his response just where she was most sensitive, gasping for breath as she took the hand in his hair, and used her grip to lure him away.

Her husband stared up at her in awe as their eyes met again, then she shook her head. “We’re a kriffing mess,” she breathed, then they both laughed as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, just where the line of his scar began below his eye. When she began to descend her kisses along the line of his scar, he was practically panting beneath her, holding onto her with a tighter grip as she continued to grind down onto him, undoubtedly driving him mad the lower down her kisses got.

It hadn’t struck her until that moment just how long the scar was. In their fight on Starkiller base, she’d cut him open, and watched him bleed in the snow until the ground split them apart. Even then she’d felt his eyes on her, watching until she faded from view, mesmerized by what he’d seen even as the agony of her brand ripped through his veins.

The scar ran all the way from his eyebrow to midway through his upper pectoral muscle, and Rey still kissed every inch of it, sucking a mark of her own over the scar where she’d carved his chest— _payback._

Ben chuckled as if he could hear that thought, then as she finally pulled away from her work on his scar, he began to plant kisses of his own all along her neck. She’d marked him with multiple scars that would lie on the canvas that was his skin forever, the least he could do in return was offer her his own temporary ones on hers before he was kissing her again, making her head spin as they fell deeper into each other.

As the rain seemed to grow louder outside, slamming against the window almost violently, Rey’s shaking hands reached his trousers, and she began to slip her fingers beneath them before she suddenly pulled away. Concern filled the bond as he stared up at her, then he took her face in his hands, thumb wiping away a tear she hadn’t even felt forming from her cheek. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, gently stroking his hair with the hand she had woven within it. “I am now,” she replied, then she began to undo the clasps holding together the high waist of his pants, kissing him again as he—

Suddenly and without warning, the bond began to fade, and in the split second between when she realized what was happening and when he disappeared beneath her, their eyes locked, and she felt one more, desperate _I love you_ leak through their connection before he was gone. With nothing beneath her for support, Rey collapsed into her mattress, rolling over onto her back panting hard as she realized what had just happened.

They’d gotten so close. So unbearably close to having what they’d missed on their wedding night, and the force, cruel as ever, had snatched them apart at the worst possible moment. In the background, she could hear the thunder crash and the rain continue to pour as if nothing had ever happened, but she wasn’t listening.

 _I love you,_ he’d told her over and over again. He hadn’t just said it either, she could still feel it in the ghost of his touch where his hands had been just seconds earlier, in the way her lips felt kiss swollen from the seemingly hours they’d spent kissing both on the balcony and in her hotel room. She could see it in the way he’d looked at her, in the way he’d held her close, and in the way they’d both asked each other cautiously if they wanted this, too.

_And the force had kriffing ripped him away just before he could show her further._

Rey laid there on her back, still without her shirt, letting the cold air settle over her as she cooled down from what had almost happened between her and Ben. The ache between her legs would’ve driven her crazy if she hadn’t already been so exhausted from the day’s events, and before she could even think to slip a hand down to take care of it, her eyes began to flutter shut— images of herself and Ben backlit by an intense storm filling her mind as she slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm so sorry_


	11. Conversations of Importance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I disappeared I had an hours long test on Tuesday that WIPED ME OUT ENTIRELY and then the Jonas Brothers reunited SO. Anyway, here's another, be prepared for the chapter count to jump up again because THERES ALWAYS MORE TO WRITE WITH THIS ONE

The night passed her by slowly. Even in her sleep she could still feel the frustration that had encompassed her when Ben had disappeared, and it got to the point where her dreams were full of what might have been. Visions of his hands sliding up her body filled her thoughts, and in her sleep, a soft moan escaped her as she remembered how they felt, as she remembered the kisses they shared, and the marks he’d sucked into her neck. 

Rey groaned as she rolled over in her sleep, managing not to wake despite the loud booming of thunder overhead. Her dreams were somehow drowning out the sound as she envisioned the series of events that would have transpired if he hadn’t left. Blurry, dream hued hands drifted over the sides of her waist, his fingers reaching down beneath the band of her trousers as he sucked another mark just above her breast band. 

For a dream, it was surprisingly clear. She could see every part of it, from his fingers slowly praying apart her breast band to him rolling her pants past her hips, and her immediately doing the same to him. Both their dream selves moaned as they found a proper position, their eyes wide with a frightened eagerness as she pressed onto him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as they adjusted to new feelings that felt so frighteningly real, she didn’t think it was a dream anymore. Rey had no idea the precise mechanics of how it worked, but with her vague sense of what was going on, she understood the contents of her dream perfectly as she rode Ben with the thunderstorm in the background. 

His name left her lips like a prayer, and when her dream self came, she shouted it loudly enough to wake herself up with a start, finally finding a noise worthy of defeating her sleeping state. Rey panted hard as she woke up, feeling shivers from the cool air wash over her body as she realized she was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, and it had soaked through the band binding her chest and onto the mattress. 

It took her a moment too long to realize she was still shirtless, and that she hadn’t put her clothes back on since her attempt to consummate her marriage was blocked by the force’s cruel hand. Well, she’d only lost her top to begin with, since they’d been interrupted before she could even take the boots off of her lower half. Hours must have passed, but she was still in that exact same, disheveled state she’d been in when he’d disappeared. It almost felt like the moment had been preserved, like it was put on pause until later. 

But if Rey knew the force, and she was starting to know it well, the damn thing would ensure he wasn’t going to be there the moment she woke up. 

Turning her head from side to side, she was disappointed to see that her hunch was right, and Ben was nowhere to be found.  _ Kriffing  _ hell. If they had to keep meeting and being interrupted like that, Rey was going to wreak havoc on the thing that bound them, and she’d enlist her husband to help her do it. She wasn’t sure how they’d manage to give the force a reckoning, but they’d pull it off. They always worked better together. 

With a sigh, she slowly pushed herself upright, groaning at how much her head was spinning as she looked out the window of her hotel room to see the storm outside was still raging violently. Wind had whipped up the rain into streaks of water running down the glass of her window, and lightning continued to provide the only light in the sky, the thunder was quieter than before but still alarmingly loud. 

Each time she heard it, she thought back to another moment of their almost-first time, and again felt an ache in her gut wishing that Ben was there, and he didn’t have to leave her every time the force decided they’d been talking for a bit too long. 

With an angry groan, Rey got up off the bed, and headed into the fresher. From the looks of things outside, daybreak was still hours away, but she was going to need one hell of a long shower to get her mind off of Ben before she faced Finn, Poe, and Rose later on. In the state she’d been rendered in, she was going to be noticeably off if she tried to speak with anyone. Her early awakening was going to provide her the time to push thoughts of her husband from her mind, but whether or not it would be successful was still up in the air. 

The shower wound up doing little to actually help her, but Rey had always been able to survive off of the bare minimum before, and she was no different now. Though still frustrated, she soldiered on; picking up her discarded clothes from the floor and dressing for the day on autopilot. All she had to do was make it through this meeting with their donor — more accurately, Poe’s meeting with the donor, since he was the one in communications with them, she was effectively just his form of security — and then they’d leave Canto Bight. Then she could finally get to work on freeing Ben from the order. 

As she wrapped her arms for the day, she extended her work to conceal the ring on her left hand. If Ben could wear his discreetly, then so could she. 

Once she was dressed, Rey looked outside of her window, sitting there and watching the storm as it poured on relentlessly. The day would begin in only a few short hours, but already she was nervous. Finn had agreed not to tell Poe about what he’d seen on the balcony the day before, but he was also terrible at keeping secrets, and a tiny shred of fear developed within her that he might accidentally reveal her marriage to their commander prematurely. 

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Rey groaned again as she fell back against the bed, then put an arm over her eyes. She had to stop thinking like that. It helped no one, least of all, herself, but  _ Kriff _ , the thought of them getting caught sent nauseous spikes through her body. 

As excited as she was to finally have Ben on her side and — when they got the chance — in her arms, their new, very much forbidden romance was going to likely be as stressful as it was exhilarating in these early stages. 

It would seem, though, that the force had decided to be kind to her after all. Not a moment later, Rey heard the tell-tale sign of the bond connecting, and a smile parted her lips. “Finally,” she breathed. “After you left earlier I was wondering when—“ She stopped mid-sentence when she heard the quietest, faintest little snore anyone in the galaxy had ever produced, but it was just loud enough to inform her that her husband was asleep. 

Looking over to her right, she saw Ben lying down curled up a little ways, buried beneath a thick, dark blanket that revealed its color to be midnight blue with a brilliant flash of lightning. He’d apparently thought to dress before falling asleep, unlike her, and he’d thrown on a similarly colored short-sleeved shirt that still revealed his well-muscled arms to her vision. 

At least one of them had gotten the chance to sleep through the night, she mused as she turned to him, his sleeping face caught in the light of another bolt of lightning as she watched him, sensing the peace that filled him through the bond. She opened her mouth to say something else, but then shook her head, realizing he would most definitely not hear it, and he deserved to get some rest even if she couldn’t.

Instead, she shifted closer to him, and wrapped an arm around his waist as she rested her head on his chest like it was a pillow, exhaling slowly as they shared a bed for the first time since they’d agreed to actually act as in love as they were. The steady rising and falling of Ben’s chest beneath her head brought a smile to her face as she closed her eyes, losing herself to the feeling of his warmth beside her. 

Slowly she sensed him starting to wake, and Rey tilted her head up to meet his eyes as they slowly opened, locking onto hers immediately, then filling with concern. “Were you… were you watching me sleep?”

“Good morning to you, too,” she replied sarcastically, then she laughed and shook her head. “No. I wasn’t watching you. You just appeared a few minutes ago.” She beamed up at him. “I’m glad you’re back. We were… a bit interrupted earlier, I think.”

Ben returned her grin, then he wrapped one of his arms around her, and pulled her closer to him. “Yeah, we were.” He cleared his throat. “It gave me time to think about what we almost did.”

Rey felt fear rush through her upon hearing that. Did he no longer want to? Was he not as ready to take that next step as she’d thought? Before her worry could overwhelm her, though, Ben immediately shook his head. “No, I want to,” he assured her, then he licked his lips. “But… I don’t want the fear of being pulled apart to hang over our heads every time we try to do this until we’re together again.”

Rey nodded her understanding, realizing Ben was right. They could attempt to try and make love again, but they ran the risk of the force interrupting them before they got their clothes all the way off. Or worse, what if it stopped them while he was inside of her for the first time? She was fairly certain neither of them would survive such a thing. No, when they finally got the chance, they would have to be face to face for real. They needed to be physically in one another’s space for this to work. “I agree. I don’t want to get interrupted again.”

“We’ll wait until I see you again in person,” he promised her, then he leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “But after that, the moment you tell me you want to, we’re locking the door and not leaving until the sun comes up.”

Shivers ran through her entire body as she thought about the things they’d do behind that locked door, and suddenly she found her will to wait for that day much smaller. “I’ll talk to the general about helping you get out,” she said, gripping the fabric of his shirt in her hands as she spoke. “The second I’m back from this force-forsaken mission, I’m going to fight to get you out of there.”

Another kiss, this time to her forehead. “I know you will.” He then cupped her cheek with his spare hand. “I’m sorry you have to wait.”

“You’re worth waiting for, Ben,” she whispered back, then she shifted upward, adjusting herself so she could kiss her husband properly on his lips, kissing him briefly before she pulled back to add, “I’d wait centuries if I had that long to live.”

A light chuckle left him in response as he pulled her back in for another, and she hummed against him as he threaded his fingers into her hair, allowing her to feel the little band of his ring pressing against her scalp before he gripped it in his hand. Ben kissed her hungrily, relieving some of the tension within her that had been left over when the force abruptly interrupted them earlier. 

If just kissing was all the force would allow of them, she’d take it. Ben was an excellent kisser, more than enough to satisfy the aching need that had developed within her since he’d first left, and every second she was with him sent waves of happiness reverberating through their bond as their lips moved against each other until they couldn’t breathe. 

Once she caught her breath, she moved back in to kiss him again, but he put a hand up to stop her. “Wait,” he murmured, then he tightened the grip he had around her torso. “Can I… can I just hold you for a while?”

Rey’s lips parted in another smile, then she nodded, allowing him to wrap both his arms around her body and hold her close. She melted against his touch, then felt her heart race as he shifted to throw the fabric of his dark blanket over her so that she too was shrouded in the warmth. “Thanks.”

“Always,” he replied, then he frowned. “Do you know how long you have until your mission finishes?”

“Poe wants us to meet him at sunrise to discuss the plan one more time, but other than that? I just hope to be heading back to base by day’s end.”

“How long do you have until sunrise?”

Rey turned her head to press a kiss over the fabric covering his chest. “Long enough,” she assured him, then she closed her eyes. “I just want to hold you, too.”

Ben’s smile was something she felt rather than saw, then she felt his arms tense around her, embracing her tightly for a few seconds before he relaxed again, and they laid there like that for another two hours. Neither of them slept or talked, they just sat there side by side, holding each other close as the storm outside passed them by. 

He somehow managed not to disappear the entire time, marking the longest period of connection they’d ever experienced, and making Rey wonder if there was some sort of trick to getting the bond to stay open — if there was something they had to  _ do _ to appease the force. Eventually though, he did leave her just as the storm began to subside, and the overcast sky turned a light grey. She felt him fade away beside her, but didn’t look up to see him leave. 

The day didn’t need to start off sorrowful because she watched him go again. 

Shortly after that, a knock sounded on her door, and she prayed it wasn’t Poe, finding she still wasn’t quite ready to face him yet after all that had happened. In fact, as much as she cared for her friend, at the moment she wanted to avoid him as much as she possibly could. 

Fortunately, when she got up out of the bed to investigate, she opened the door to reveal the smiling, slightly too cheerful face of Rose Tico, and her entire body slumped a little with relief. “Kriff, I’m so glad it’s you.”

“I’m secretly Poe in disguise, don’t get too happy,” Rose said with an amused hint of a giggle. “Are you… whoa…” 

Rey watched in confusion as Rose’s eyes drifted down a little ways, landing a bit above her chest where Ben had —  _ oh no _ — left marks into her skin during their moment of almost consummation that night. Swallowing her concern, she glanced down to see the purple and red marks that his sinful mouth had sucked into her making little constellations on her body that sent memories crashing over her in waves. Each one seemed more prominent than the last, and made what had happened the night before obvious to anyone who saw them. 

Suddenly she was more grateful than ever that the person on the other side of her door was Rose and not Poe Dameron. 

“Oh,” she breathed, adjusting the fabric of her drapings uselessly. The damn thing did little to conceal so much as  _ one  _ of the marks that Ben had left on her, and a tiny shred of annoyance was shot in his direction at his poor placement. “Kriff.”

“I see you were a bit busy last night,” Rose said, crossing her arms with a smirk on her face. “You finally tell him how you feel?”

Oh, so much had happened since the last time she and Rose had spoken. Since she’d last encountered her friend at the bar, she’d danced with Ben, kissed him, remembered everything about her wedding, accidentally revealed her marriage to Finn, and nearly consummated said marriage. It had been a week’s worth of events over the course of several hours, and she felt her mind spinning as she realized all that had changed. 

“I… I have a lot to tell you.”

“I bet,” Rose said, then she stepped aside into the hallway. “We’ve got a bit of a walk down to Poe’s meeting place. Wanna tell me on the way?”

Rey spared a glance outside, then shook her head. “No, it’s too risky, I don’t want anyone knowing about this. It’s bad enough that Finn found out.”

Rose’s jaw fell slack. “ _ You told Finn?” _

“No! He caught us on the balcony.” She almost laughed at the memory of her friend’s dumbstruck face, at the look of confusion and almost horror that had been in his eyes as he looked between her and Ben. Pushing that aside, she reached forward and gripped Rose’s wrist, dragging her friend into the room and shutting the door abruptly before continuing to strategically adjust her drapings; wrapping them around her neck like a scarf before adjusting them normally as she faced Rose. . 

“What about Poe?”

“Poe can wait, I need to tell you what happened last night.”

“Rey, I love you, and you’re like the younger  sister I’ve never had, but I don’t want to know about how you had sex with Kylo Ren.”

Slamming a palm into her forehead, Rey groaned frustratedly, though her cheeks flushed at the mention of sex with her husband. “No! Kriff, no! I’d never tell you that.”

“That’s a relief.”

“We didn’t even…” She paused when Rose quirked a disbelieving eyebrow. “We almost did. The connection dissolved before we could get too far.”

Rose nodded, then she stepped forward. “So how did you go from being too afraid to tell him how you felt to being covered in…?”

It took her a moment to figure out how to tell her, then she took a deep breath. “Well to start, I remember everything,” she said, then she told Rose nearly every detail of what had happened the night before and the events of their actual wedding night. The only thing she skimmed over was the intimacy of it all, both physical and emotional. Some things needed to stay between her and Ben, and no other soul would ever be allowed to know them —not even a most trusted friend. 

By the time she’d finished, the sun had definitely risen behind the overcast sky, and Rose was practically rushing her out the door even as she praised her for her success. “Listen, I’m happy for you both, but we need to go, even Poe and his lateness are probably wondering where the kriff we are.”

Rey laughed nervously, then shook her head as they made their way toward the door. “Sorry, it was… it was a lot.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Rose replied as she walked out into the hallway, holding the door open for Rey until she was free of the room, then she let it fall shut of its own accord as the two women made their way down the well-lit hall toward the lifts. “But what was it like?”

“Which part?”

“Getting married. I mean, you didn’t say much about it, but…?”

“It was a bit exhilarating,” Rey admitted, then she pressed the down arrow on the panel in front of them. “It was stupid, and rash, and we really shouldn’t have done it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

For the first time in front of anyone who wasn’t Ben, she allowed herself to be honest. “I do,” she told Rose, then the lift doors opened, and the two women stepped on, falling into a comfortable silence with the descent of the elevator. 

When they stepped out of it a few minutes later, Rey was surprised that Poe wasn’t already waiting for them on the other side having dragged Finn with him to chastise them for being late. Given Rose’s reaction to the time, she’d expected a talking to, but Poe wasn’t there, and she didn’t see him until they arrived at the agreed upon meeting place. 

In the early hours of the morning, Rey found that Canto Bight was utterly dead. The night before and the night of her wedding it had been teeming with bright lights and life. Music had sounded out from every corner of the world, and it seemed like none of the party would ever end. When she met Finn and Poe in the outdoor deck where she’d tried to fight Ben, though, only a select few people were still moving about, seeming not to have noticed that the party was well over. 

The two men were chatting casually by a window overlooking the water, seeming animated at first, but as she got closer she noticed the bags circling beneath Poe’s eyes. It would seem that he’d imbibed in a bit more liquor than he’d intended to the night before. Sympathy flooded her briefly, then she pressed on, watching his face light up somewhat with relief as he saw her and Rose approaching. 

“Hey,” he said in greeting, which both she and Rose returned before he grumbled something about a headache, then forced himself to stand straight. “You both feeling okay?”

“Oh, we’re great,” Rose promised him, then she looked Poe’s hungover form up and down. “You don’t seem to be.”

“I feel like I get hangovers no matter how little I drink,” Poe assured her, then he rubbed at his temple for a moment before clearing his throat. “Anyway, we’re meeting our little friend in about an hour, and in case this goes south, I need everyone to be absolutely clear on our escape plan.”

The other three nodded, then their commander launched into his plan, laying out the details of the day so that everything was crystal clear. She’d never met Poe before Crait, but she’d been told he was impulsive and always had his head in his cockpit. The latter still turned out to be true, but the former? He seemed to have learned at least a little from his mistakes, and perhaps he was a bit haunted by them, too, if the look in his eyes was anything to go by. Nowadays Poe was a halfway decent commander, and as he set out the intricacies of their plan on the metaphorical table, Rey felt at ease with how things would go. 

Perhaps by day’s end, she’d be able to converse with the General about pulling Ben out of the order, but she didn’t let herself think about that just yet. Thinking about Leia forced her to think again about the fact that she was also her mother in law, and she didn’t know how the Kriff she’d tell her that she’d married her son. How was she supposed to look her in the eye after all she and Ben had and  _ almost  _ had done together?

Rey wasn’t sure, but this certainly wasn’t the time to find out as Poe finished up his plotting speech, then they broke away to head into their positions. Hers was in the building across from theirs, staring down at where Poe would encounter their stranger from a third floor party deck that was presently void of life. Finn would listen in from a nearby restaurant, ordering breakfast for everyone in the process since no one had been given the time to eat yet, while Rose sat with him and they pretended to be normal every day patrons and not just Poe’s rescue mission should everything go south. 

Hopefully, this would go off without a hitch, but their luck had already been massive. She feared beyond anything else that it had run out, and they only had minutes before everything fell apart. 

Somehow, it didn’t. The investor in their cause, a well dressed man in a black and white suit and a red plom bloom on his lapel walked up to Poe not a moment sooner or later than their designated meeting time. Rey watched curiously as the two met, shaking hands like this was just an ordinary encounter between two old friends. Her anxiety spiked as they talked for a minute, but as her commander’s eyes filled with recognition and delight, it dissipated in favor of an all consuming relief. 

The mission was once again a success, and they’d be on their way home likely within the hour. She could finally get to work on freeing Ben from the order, and suddenly the day they’d be reunited in person didn’t seem so far away. 

Heart filled with hope, Rey watched the rest of the exchange with a hint of a smile on her face, running her finger over the ring covered by her wraps as they completed their mission, and Poe parted ways with the red plom bloom decorated man with a stupidly wide grin on his face. “Good news,” he said over the coms. “We have our funding. Debatably good news… we owe Maz Kanata a massive thank you.”

Laughter erupted from Finn and Rose’s end of the com, and she could vividly picture the two of them falling into each other as they laughed at the memory of their last time in Canto Bight. “I’ll gladly pass it along!” the former of the two cried, then another round of giggles overcame them as they lost themselves to the glee of victory. 

Rey managed a small chuckle herself, but refrained from doing a happy dance on the deck as Poe ordered everyone to make sure their things were out of their hotel rooms, and be prepared to head out. The mission was completed, the money was being transferred to Leia on the base, and it was time to turn tail and head home. 

They arrived back at the Falcon two hours later, smiles still on their faces despite the exhaustion from the two hour trek they’d taken to get there. Maybe that had something to do with the promise of whiskey that Poe had bought before they’d left, which even Rey — who was still weary of liquor after her blackout — was looking forward to sharing. It was a party in the making, and just this once, she had something to be celebrate. 

After radioing in their mission’s success to the base, she and Poe wound up piloting the Falcon into the air, and in her joy she forgot about the stress of keeping her secret from him. For a moment they were just good friends again, looking forward to a drink after a long ride home when they finally got back to base, and ready to rest before the next mission. It almost felt nice to be beside him like that again, but when Finn and Rose retreated back to the bunks to rest, they were left alone again, and the silence made her remember the secret she was keeping from him. 

It was quiet in the cockpit, the silence overwhelming as hyperspace rushed past them in a blur of blue light, but neither of them spoke. An almost uncomfortable tension started to build in the air, and both of them was aware of the other’s emotional state, but neither seemed to know how to voice their concerns. 

Poe figured it out more quickly than she did, and she saw his head turn out of the corner of her eye just a split second before he asked, “Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay?” he repeated, then when she gave him a confused look, he shifted in his seat to face her. “You’ve seemed… I don’t know… off lately.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Just the way you scattered off last night, it… I don’t know… it felt weird,” he said. “Did something bad happen the last time you were here?”

_ Well, yes.  _

Rey snorted a fake laugh. “No, nothing bad,” she promised him, and it was true, nothing terrible had happened to her the last time she was there. Quite the opposite, really. “I promise.”

“You know you can tell me if something’s wrong, though, right?” Poe asked, glancing over at her with genuine concern in his eyes. 

Rey’s heart raced in her chest as she conjured up a response. Maybe Poe was her friend, but something told her he wouldn’t handle it well if he found out who she was married to. Eventually he’d have to know Ben was leaving the order and wanted to take it down, and if she hoped to live a life with him, Poe would subsequently have to learn about her marriage one day, but the timing of it all had to be done right. For now, there were some things she just couldn’t tell him, even if they were good friends. 

“I know,” she said, hoping the lie would stick with him. 

The commander, though, was smarter than he looked. “You don’t, but I appreciate the effort,” he replied, then he turned back to the front window of the Falcon, and the two sat in their most awkward silence yet as the flight passed them by until Finn and Rose came up to relieve them of their duty midway through. 

Rey spent the remainder of the time in hyperspace staring up at the ceiling of the bunk as she thought through the plan for what she’d do next, still feeling weird after that conversation with Poe. They’d been decent friends up until that point, and she didn’t think he’d ever hurt her if he knew, but it had felt off between them when they’d been the ones in charge of the Falcon’s flight. She could only hope their friendship managed to survive this as well. 

By the time they landed on the base several hours later, Rey had fallen asleep. She woke up to Finn shaking her awake and laughing at the fact that she’d actually managed to take a nap. “Kriff off,” she told him as she woke up, though as she stood up from the bunk, she was returning his smile with a brilliant one of her own. “What’s going on?” 

“We just landed, time to get out of here,” he replied, then he shrugged. “Or keep sleeping, if you want.”

That sounded half tempting, but Rey needed to speak to Ben’s mother — her  _ kriffing mother in law  _ — as quickly as she possibly could. Leia was the fastest track to get Ben out, and Rey intended to use that, as terrified as she was by the prospect of having that conversation. “I slept enough.”

“Great, so… uh… see you in the Poe’s bunk  in a couple hours then?” he asked. “Apparently he’s not pouring drinks until then.”

Rey gave him a nod. “Sure, a couple hours,” she replied, then she walked ahead, and grumbled, “I need to see the general anyway.”

“What about?”

Checking to be sure that Poe wasn’t anywhere within earshot, she lowered her voice. “My husband,” she answered, then as Finn laughed, she made her way off of the infamous ship — her  _ father in law’s _ ship — and into the wings of the base in search of the general. Rey used the best of her ability to track her down, not knowing much about what to look for in a force signature. The only one she really knew was Ben’s, and he wasn’t exactly who she was looking for at the moment. 

Eventually, she picked up on Leia’s. It almost reminded her of her husband’s, though it was lighter in nature, but no less troubled. She used her force signature to track her through the base, and trying to maintain a neutral expression as she did. Rey wouldn’t survive telling Leia what she’d done otherwise. 

She found the General in the very same meeting room they’d all been in immediately after her mission, hunched over a holo-pad with a stern, slightly worried expression on her face as Rey watched. Quietly, she cleared her throat, and addressed Leia by her present title. “General, I need to speak with you,” she told the other woman, who glanced up from the holo-pad to look her in the eye. “It’s important.”

“I’d heard you were back,” Leia replied warmly, setting down the pad to walk around the other side of the enormous projector table to Rey. “How was the mission?”

“It was fine, but I need to speak with you about the other mission,” she told her. “The one I went on alone?”

“Of course, why?”

“Something happened on that mission, General,” she told her, then Rey took in a deep breath, allowing herself to lean against the wall nearby. “I ran into a familiar face.”

“Friend or foe?”

“He wasn’t a friend at first, but he became one,” she told the General, already picking at the wrappings she’d covered up her wedding ring with. “That’s what I need to tell you, and I’m not sure where to start… so I’m just going to say this; the face was Ben Solo’s, and this is what happened.” And with that, she undid the wrappings around her hand, exposing the golden band of her ring to Leia, whose eyes honed in on it immediately, lighting up with recognition. 

There was a beat of silence so intense it was louder than any words Leia could have shouted or screamed at her. A void developed in the space between them, and Rey swallowed her fear as she looked down at the ground. “I married your son,” she continued, then she breathed in shakily. “And it wasn’t just a drunken accident… it… I love him.”

She could feel Leia’s eyes boring into her, but she couldn’t stop the words once they’d started. “And I need your help to free him from the First Order.”

Leia stepped forward, understanding in her gaze as she rested a hand over Rey’s arm. “So this was what you didn’t want to tell me? That you married my son?”

“I didn’t know how.”

“Rey, I am more than alright with this. Considering I never thought I’d see my son married?  I am absolutely delighted for you both. My only concern is the threat your marriage brings to your lives.”

“It won’t be a threat if we can get him out,” she told her mother in law. “Ben wants to leave, he told me the only reason he’s still with the order is because he doesn’t want to leave it in General Hux’s hands.”

The woman standing in front of her slumped a little from relief. “I… I always hoped he’d come back.” She adjusted her posture standing up straighter and losing the hint of sadness that had developed in her eye. “Tell me everything that happened on Cantonica.”

Rey took in a deep breath, but nodded as she caught Leia up to speed with everything that had happened — save for how she nearly deflowered her son — since she’d been sent on that first mission. Everything from attempting to fight Ben — which had earned her a chuckle — to the balcony dance they’d shared, to waking up and not remembering a thing, to Ben’s true purpose in Canto Bight, and everything else that led to the general slowly nodding as she processed all that she’d been told. 

“That explains why they’ve been so quiet lately,” Leia murmured. “Ben won’t let them hunt us.”

“But he can’t do it anymore, he wants to put the Order down and move on.”

“And I agree,” Leia told her, reaching forward to take Rey’s hands in hers. “We’ll have to be extraordinarily careful about it, but the moment we can, we’re bringing my son home.”

“When do we start?” 

“Meet me here tomorrow before dawn, but come alone, we’ll tell your friends that know only if it’s necessary.”

Rey gave her a nod. “I can do that, but why not tonight?”

“I have to oversee the transference of funds, and you have a successful mission to celebrate,” the general answered her, then she let go of her hand. “Go, enjoy your victory, Rey. And get some rest.”

“I will.” Rey paused before she turned away, then gave Leia a warm smile. “And thank you,” she added, then she moved to leave, when the general called out to her one last time. 

“And Rey?” she asked, causing her daughter in law to turn back around curiously. “I'm proud it's you I get as a daughter.”

Shaking slightly, Rey bowed her head in acknowledgement, then ducked out of the room, reeling from the reality that had settled in with Leia’s parting words as she searched for her friends amongst the bunks of the base. After all this time searching and waiting, she finally had a family, and as she fought back the tears that sprang to her eyes, she’d never felt more excited for the future that was to come. 


	12. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY WIFI SUCKS so I’m posting this from my phone. If anything goes wrong, that’s why. But have at it kids.

Waking up the next morning, Rey was pleasantly surprised to discover that once again, she wasn’t alone, and this time, despite the hangover that was pounding in her brain — nasty, but still not as bad as the one she’d woken up with the morning after her wedding — she was delighted to find that she was tangled up with Ben’s too long limbs. A smile crossed over her face as she groaned, then silenced herself, not wanting to wake up her husband, but it would seem that he was already awake, if his responding grumble of annoyance was anything to go by.

“Kriff, did I wake you up?” she asked, wincing at how scratchy her voice sounded thanks to her dry throat. 

Ben shook his head. “No… well, yes… I can feel your hangover,” he mumbled, then he took one of the hands that was wrapped around her, and pressed the heel of it into his forehead. “I’m guessing you were celebrating last night?”

Rey laughed. “Yeah, I was, sorry.” She hummed softly as he wrapped his arm back around her, and pulled her close against him. “We successfully acquired the funding to fuel our ships. The Resistance marches on another day.”

“Did you… did you talk to my mother?”

“... I did…” she told him, then she paused a moment before she continued. “I told her everything.”

“Everything?”

“...  _ almost _ everything.”

A soft chuckle left him, then he untangled himself from her, and the two of them sat up, facing each other in an acknowledgement that the soft cuddling moment was over, and the serious conversation had begun. “But what did… what did she say?” he asked, then he paused a moment, and Rey didn’t dare speak knowing he still had more to say, not wanting to discourage him from talking about it. “... Does she hate me for what I did?”

It was moments like this one where Rey was reminded of all he’d been through; of all he’d done under Snoke’s tutelage. He had killed his father, and while she’d forgiven him for it long ago, she knew damn well he hadn’t forgiven himself. Ben was going to be haunted by what had happened on Starkiller Base for the rest of his life, that act of violence was going to scar him worse than her lightsaber ever could. But Leia, his mother… she’d spent enough time around her to know… She’d never been angry in the first place. Sad, perhaps, but never angry. If she felt any anger... It had been directed toward herself. 

“I don’t think she does, Ben. She was happy when she found out we were married,” she said quietly, reaching across the space between them as she sat up, and caressed his cheek. “Ben, I think she just wants you to come home as badly as I do.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I’m meeting with her within the hour to discuss exactly that,” she told him as another wave of nausea from her hangover struck her like a hammer. “If I can cure my hangover before I see her again.”

A light snort escaped Ben, then he nodded. “Do you need help?” 

“I don’t know how you’d help, but thank you,” she replied, leaning over to kiss him briefly before she slowly rolled out of the bed, leaving him lying there by himself as she made her way over to her wardrobe. His eyes followed her as she moved to open it, and for some reason that had her heart hammering in her chest. 

Unless the bond decided to very suddenly disconnect them, he’d wind up watching her dress for the day, or at least, he’d be in the same room. She wasn’t sure why that made her so nervous, when just the night before last they’d helped one another undress until they were both topless. He’d seen her half-naked and vulnerable before that, too, but now that they were married, now that they’d elected to postpone the consummation of said marriage for the moment they’d be able to meet in person, something lingered in the air between them at the prospect of any sort of nudity. Both of them were again reminded of their own inexperience, and two hearts raced at the thought of the uncharted territory they had yet to cross between them. 

Swallowing her nerves, Rey didn’t bother asking him to turn around and look away as she lifted her shirt over her head. She’d left her breast band on as she slept — a habit picked up from many nights on Jakku where she had to be ready to run at a moment’s notice — so she wasn’t completely bare, but she could still sense the way his mouth went dry at the sight of her. 

“You’re really not going to tell me to look away?” Ben asked, his deep voice half-sarcastic, and also a little amused and scared — she could tell his lip was quivering as he spoke without having to look — as he watched her reach for the button of her trousers. 

“No,” she answered plainly, then she turned around, and shrugged briefly before she resumed her work. “We are married, after all.” Then she slipped her fingers beneath the waistband of her trousers, looking away from him as she let them fall loosely to the floor, doubting that Ben cared about her basic, Resistance issue underwear as she kicked them aside, and reached into her wardrobe for the day’s ensemble. 

Ben’s breath caught as he watched her reach in for a more lightly colored set of clothing, a beige jacket and an off-white, sand coated thing like what she’d worn when they’d first met, and she smirked to herself as she pulled it out. “Rey, you’re making it hard not to pull you into this bed and do whatever the force will allow me the time to.”

“Try it, then,” she challenged him, then Ben quirked his eyebrow at her, and crawled off of the bed just enough to tug her down onto it with him. Her clothes fell from her arms as she shrieked her husband’s name delightedly, and he rolled them over so that he was on top of her, trying hard not to laugh himself as he placed somewhat sloppy kisses along the line of her jaw. She continued giggling obscenely as he settled between her legs, and his hands set about exploring her waist as his kisses trailed up from her jaw closer to her lips. 

Eager to meet him in the middle, Rey turned her head as he moved to press a kiss near the corner of her mouth, and caught his lips between hers, forcing a moan out of him that resonated between her legs. The kiss was intoxicating, and as Ben pressed her further into the mattress, she forgot about everything beyond that room. Her worries about Poe and the Resistance learning prematurely what had happened between them were forgotten, her meeting with Leia was wiped, and so was the entire galaxy as the whole of creation melted away until it was just the two of them. 

Ben’s tongue sought access to her mouth, and she parted her lips further to grant it as she fisted his hair in her fingers, making him moan again while she wrapped her bare legs around his hips, tugging him as closely against her as she could. They were probably not going to get as far as either of them wanted to, but she was going to get as much as she possibly could out of what little time they  _ did _ have. 

“Kriff, Rey,” he breathed, coming up for air briefly before she pulled him down again, relishing in the feeling of Ben’s lips on hers as she shifted her hips, ignoring the nausea of her hangover as she flipped them over so that she was the one on top, kissing  _ him  _ into the mattress instead of the other way around. Her hands took the liberty of this new freedom to slide down his chest, thumb gliding over a clothed nipple before she felt over the planes of his abdominal muscles. She had a good feeling she’d never tire of simply doing this, of just touching him while they kissed, of sneaking her hand beneath the line of his shirt to caress his bare skin while he hummed against her, and he wrapped his arms around her bare back. 

His fingers began to slip beneath the hem of her breast band, feeling the ridges of her spine as she shivered on top of him from the touch. No one had ever touched her anywhere near there, even clothed — unless she was determined to count their fight in the throne room when they’d been completely back to back — so his warm fingers creeping slowly upward… Rey was absolutely losing her mind. 

As Ben’s hand slowly crept around to the front of her body, Rey trailed her kisses down onto his neck, getting retaliation for the marks he’d left that were still visible all over her neck and the upper parts of her chest. She struggled with her focus as the time passed, and his hand crept closer and closer to where she desperately wanted it, but it would seem that they’d pushed their limits enough with the force for the day. At least this time, they got a little warning. 

Something shifted in the air between them, and she knew that no matter what they did, they only had seconds left before the other person disappeared. Ben rolled them onto their sides, giving her one last, soft little kiss before he was gone, and she was alone again. 

Rey grunted her frustration as she rolled over onto her back again, mourning the loss of his warmth around her as she led her head fall back into her pillow. She was starting to get really kriffing tired of the force always interrupting their moments together, even before they’d started kissing. Suddenly she couldn’t wait for that meeting with his mother, even if she wouldn’t be able to contain the blush that would creep up her cheeks the moment she saw her. 

But she was a grown woman. She could handle talking to Leia despite the events of her most recent run in with her son. 

Taking in a deep breath, she finally picked up her clothes from the floor, and dressed for the day, taking care to zip up the beige jacket she’d plucked out all the way to the top, covering up the majority of the marks Ben had given her. She could only hope it would be enough. 

Ten minutes later she was walking through the halls of the base, keeping her head down to avoid the gaze of any passers by as she made her way to where she knew Leia Organa was waiting for her. The room came upon her before she was ready for it to about thirty seconds after that, and she swallowed her nerves before she pushed the door open to find Leia already had projections on display over the table. The General seemed to be looking at a map of a specific, very familiar section of the galaxy, one she’d last seen when she and Chewbacca had undertaken their initial mission to free Ben from the order. 

Chewie was off trying to help recruit people to the cause now. This time it would just be her, the General, and possibly Rose and Finn if she was extremely lucky. 

As she walked into the room, Rey examined the projection, noting the presence of the tiny mineral planet, Crait at the center of the screen. The General didn’t even look up to greet her, instead opting for a simple, “Good morning,” before she shifted the map on her screen, zooming in on the planet she’d rescued the last of the Resistance from in the Falcon. 

“Morning,” Rey replied, shutting the door behind her. 

“Were you followed?”

“No,” she said plainly, then she walked over to join the General in front of the projection. “What’s this?”

“I’m scouting potential rendezvous points.” Leia pointed to Crait on the screen. “They wouldn’t suspect us of returning somewhere useless. If we’re only there for a few hours… hell, even a day… no one ever needs to know we were there at all.”

Rey’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why return to Crait?” she asked curiously, wondering what purpose they had for undertaking such a mission in the first place. 

“What we’re planning is dangerous. The connection you share with my son will only get us so far… we need to formulate our plan where no other ears can listen, and I need to be fully involved.”

“Right…”

“And… I need to see my son again,” the General admitted, then she leaned against the table, propping herself against it with her palms as she looked up at the projection. “I have… so many mistakes to atone for. He might not ever forgive me, but… I need to see him.”

Rey watched her shift uncomfortably, the pain that was always hidden in her gaze visible in the green light from the projection. She didn’t know the extent of Ben’s history with his parents, but from all three’s seemingly mutual agreement that Han and Leia had made mistakes, she could guess it wasn’t great. All the same she could tell the woman standing before her loved her son in spite of all he’d done, and all she’d done to him. That love managed to outlast everything that both of them had been through, making her yearn anew for that same sort of affection from the two people buried in the Jakku desert. 

“I do too,” she replied in the end, then she undid the wrapping covering her wedding ring, allowing it to be put on display for her mother in law to see. “I miss him. Even if I see him every day… He’s always gone within minutes. I just want him to stop disappearing.”

Leia reached for her hand again, just like she had on Crait, then she sighed as she examined the ring on Rey’s finger. “You couldn’t have picked more dangerous circumstances to bring yourselves together.”

“I know.”

“But I suppose this means Luke was right…” she said, this time looking Rey in the eyes. “No one’s ever truly gone.”

Rey could see the mist developing in the other woman’s eyes, but before she could say anything else, she heard that familiar sound of all the air leaving the room, and she gasped in surprise. It had only been twenty minutes since she’d last seen him. Why would he appear to her now? Well, he had taken even less time to show up after they’d been caught by Finn on the balcony. 

“Ben…” she breathed, relief coursing through her veins as she walked up to him, momentarily forgetting that they had company as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him close against her in a reuniting embrace. He didn’t hesitate to return it, warm arms encompassing her waist not a second later, a hand splaying out over her upper back as he pressed a tiny kiss to the side of her head. 

“Where are you?” he asked quietly as he pulled away, then before she could answer his question, he began to lean in, the intent behind his actions clear in his hooded eyes as he moved even closer. 

She wanted to kiss him, she did, but at the last second, she remembered his mother was standing there by the projector, and she could feel Leia’s eyes on her as she pressed her hands to her husband’s chest. “I’m with your mother, Ben,” she told him, cocking her head behind her, and watching as Ben’s gaze traveled up and away from Rey, eyes widening with the terror of being caught and what she imagined to be another wide range of emotions he felt upon seeing her for the first time in so long. Technically, he’d seen her once before this — it was how she knew about the bond, after all — but this would be the first time they actually had the opportunity to talk to one another. 

Slowly, he pulled away from Rey, his arms falling limp at his sides as hers did the same, then she took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together as she led him over to his mother, who watched with wide, disbelieving eyes as the couple approached her. She looked between mother and son awkwardly, watching both of their slack jaws as they took each other in properly for the first time. 

“Ben…” His name left his mother’s lips with a quiver, then she straightened, getting right to business. “Rey told me everything…” Her eyes flickered briefly down to Rey’s neck, where she knew instantly she’d failed to cover up all the marks he’d left on her skin. “ _ Almost  _ everything.”

Beside her, he had the faintest trace of a smirk on his lips, which he quickly let fall as he spoke. “Then you know what I need.”

“I do,” Leia replied, then she braced herself against the holo-projector again. “We’re planning a meeting to work out the details of your extraction from the Order. Whether or not it’s successful depends on how long you can get away… Or rather, how long it’s safe to.” 

Rey watched Ben’s face grow serious, his mouth drawing briefly into a line before he nodded. “I already risked too much last week when I…” He looked over to Rey, eyes falling instantly on her exposed wedding ring. “When I went to Cantonica. Hux is already watching my every move, even if I am in charge.”

“You think he would mutiny?” his mother asked, then when her son gave a subtle nod, she took a step forward. “Then we make this as short as we can. The less time you’re gone, the less time he has to pull one together.” She reached forward, as if tempted to take her son’s free hand, then thought better of it. “I don’t trust the communications channels, and we can’t keep waiting around for you to appear whenever Rey’s near me. This is our only option.”

Ben swallowed nervously, and the grip on her hand tightened as he locked eyes with Leia. “Where do you want to meet?” His tone was almost clipped, and surprisingly business-like given who he was talking to and the nature of their relationship, but she understood it all the same. He didn’t know how to react to being around her much the same way she didn’t know how to handle being around him. They’d both endured far too much for this encounter to be easy, and thus were avoiding every topic of conversation that would make it difficult. 

“Crait,” Leia answered, her eyes flicking back to the map he couldn’t see. “We can meet you there in two days on the old base.”

“Is that alright?” Rey asked him softly, running her thumb over his. 

Ben looked down at her, then he took in a deep breath. “Will you be there?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll try,” he promised her, then, seeming to not care that his mother was in the room, he leaned forward, and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

Rey’s cheeks flushed as he pulled away, but when her eyes next met Leia’s, they were surprisingly soft and filled with understanding. “You really did get married, didn’t you?”

“We did,” Ben replied.

At this, Leia reached forward, gesturing to Ben’s own hand, which was still holding on to Rey’s. “Can I see it?” she asked, then sensing her son’s discomfort, she stepped back. “You don’t have to… I just… I never thought I’d see this.” Her voice trembled with emotion, and through the bond she shared with her son, she could feel sympathy washing over him, that and a tiny shred of grief mixed in with the barest hint of pride. 

He squeezed her hand one last time, then he released it, and pinched the black leather between two fingers before he slowly removed his glove, revealing his own wedding band to the other two people in the room. It was a perfect match to Rey’s, and she held her hand up beside his in the dim, green light, looking at their rings side by side for what was only the second time. 

Never before had an image looked so right, and immediately she framed it in her mind, promising never to forget the sight of his large hand beside her smaller one, and the matching bands on both of their ring fingers. Her heart raced as she felt Leia’s eyes on their hands, sensed the older woman’s emotions as they bubbled to the surface. She’d never seen the General cry, but as she glanced up, she figured this was the closest she’d ever get to seeing it — the mist in her eyes was unmistakable. 

“Thank you,” the general said, her voice cracking into a whisper as they put down their hands, then she let out a breath neither one of them had noticed she’d been holding, and resumed her business-like posture. “Now… two days time… we’ll all meet on Crait, understood?”

“Perfectly,” Ben replied. 

“Good.” Leia braced herself against the table again, then she gave them a dismissive wave. “You’re free to go, I’ll finish putting the final details together. Rey, I trust you enough to pass them along.”

“Yes, General,” she replied, then she took Ben’s hand in hers again, and turned to leave. “Will you be alright?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Leia ordered her, then Rey stiffened for a moment, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that her mother in law was most certainly not alright, but also understanding that the General was not a woman whose orders she could disobey. She was no Poe Dameron, she couldn’t challenge whoever she pleased, and so she began to leave, finding it intriguing that she had to tug on Ben’s hand to get him to leave with her. 

His hesitation was loud within the bond, and Rey’s heart burst as she realized he’d wanted to stay. As they made their way through the door, she let it close with a quiet hiss, then she turned to him, throwing her arms around his neck again within full view of the window looking out from the meeting room into the hallway, and pulling him into another embrace. Ben instantly buried his face in her neck, and her heart stuttered its beating in her chest as she noticed it was wet with tears. 

They stood there like that in their embrace until the bond disconnected again, shrouded in the quiet, early morning hallway as they swayed gently. Rey pressed gentle kisses to the side of his face as he silently let out years of pent up grief, anger, and confusion into her skin, dampening the fabric of the jacket that currently failed to conceal the marks he’d left on her. She didn’t say a word about it, though, she just held him, stroking his hair and whispering assurances that it would be okay as the time passed. 

Eventually, Ben pulled away slightly, and she gazed upon his tear streaked face before wiping away a drop with her thumb before she leaned forward, and kissed him ever so gently. Their lips came together in a manner that was so soft, she wasn’t sure they’d met at all, but then they both deepened it just enough to confirm that they were indeed kissing, and the other person was actually, physically present in front of them. It was a silent, nonverbal,  _ I’m here, and I’m here for you,  _ passed in the emotions they could feel in the bond, and instantly, she felt her husband relax. All his pent up emotions gave way to a sense of peace, and while she could still sense them humming just beneath his skin, for now they were background noise, just mindless chatter in the face of everything around them. 

They pulled away just before the bond was cruel to them again, and Rey stroked his hair one last time. “Two days,” she promised him, then he disappeared before her eyes, and she was left alone again. 

Sighing in his absence, Rey leaned against the wall for a moment, taking the time to process the encounter they’d just had with his mother, and how surprisingly well it had gone. She’d been expecting an argument, and maybe they were just saving all that for when they met in person, but maybe they weren’t. Ben had willingly shown his mother his wedding ring, after all — had displayed it proudly alongside hers in a proud statement of the fact that they were married, and even if their respective sides might not like it, nothing was going to change it.  _ Nothing.  _

A smile crossed her face at the memory, and she pushed herself from the wall, electing to go get herself something to eat before the day began. She had a lot of time to kill before the next two days were up — before she saw Ben again  _ in the flesh  _ — and if she spent it all anticipating what they’d do once they were finally reunited, she’d lose her mind. 

_ She was probably going to lose it anyway. _

By the time dinner rolled around the next day, Rey was a foot tapping, blank staring, absent minded mess while Finn, Poe, and Rose shared an animated conversation around her. Even the commander’s little droid had joined them —back from working with Chewie for weeks on end, he’d been sent home ahead of schedule while the wookie finished business — and while BB-8 was twittering away at their feet, she scarcely noticed. All she could think about was the fact that they’d leave the next morning. 

Leia had finalized the details with her the previous evening, informing her that they’d be taking Rose and the droid that was presently rolling around her feet on the journey with them. As a result, BB-8 was also informed of the circumstances of her marriage, but thanks to his connections with the Resistance’s systems, he’d already known about it from the moment it happened. He may have been a droid, but she owed him a great debt for his silence. Especially since he was so fiercely loyal to his commander. 

She’d told Ben the news — save for BB-8’s knowledge — when the force had awakened them both in the middle of the night, connecting them with a jolt as if it were aware that there was vital information that needed to be passed. That particular connection was the shortest one they’d experienced yet, as if they’d only been allowed to play this brief pass-along game before being cut off from one another. She’d barely even been allowed to hold his hand. 

Now she was far too jittery, but as Rose told a joke about the wealthy people of Canto Bight, she managed to get a chuckle out of it before sipping on her drink as she searched for an in to the conversation. Luckily, Poe was far more skilled socially than she was, and did it for her. “Okay, but let me get this straight… people actually get married there?”

Unfortunately, he invited her into the conversation by nearly making her choke on her food. Three pairs of concerned eyes immediately turned to her, though the pair belonging to Rose was also full of fear. “You okay, Rey?” she asked. 

“Fine,” she croaked, then she cleared her throat, and brought her voice back to normal. “Swallowed funny.”

Rose and Finn looked at her disbelievingly, but Poe’s eyes were full of amusement. “Just swallowed funny?” he asked, then he shifted in his seat, leaning forward on his elbows, looking like he wanted to say something else, but receiving a scolding beep from BB-8 not to press a more inappropriate line of thought. Instead, he chose a more suspicious tone. “You have weird timing.”

“Must’ve been the force,” she joked, and it seemed to work — Poe managed to laugh and continue on with the topic of conversation without keeping the subject on her. 

“But in all seriousness, what the hell would make someone want to get married there?” Poe asked, his unintentional harsh judgement striking deeper than he could possibly know, and another scolding warning from his droid was ignored. “That seems like a recipe for disaster.”

The other two looked about as uncomfortable as Rey felt, and she could see Finn trying desperately not to look at her the moment Poe said it. “Maybe it’s not all bad. We don’t know the story of every person walking into those chapels,” Finn said, and she appreciated his thoughts, but  _ kriff  _ they needed to drop this subject. Her friend was an absolutely terrible secret keeper, and if the group stayed on that train much longer, she feared his lips might loosen without meaning to.  

“Finn’s right,” Rose said in agreement. “Maybe it’s not all so bad. Maybe people are just so in love they can’t wait for planning and a real ceremony to do it.”

Poe shrugged. “I don’t know, I feel like how much alcohol has destroyed their livers has more to do with it.” At another chirp from BB-8, he turned to stare at the droid. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Could be anything,” Finn said, then he wrapped an arm around the commander’s shoulders. “Love, alcohol…” His eyes locked onto Rey’s. “Or both.”

Feeling tense and put on the spot, Rey took a long sip of the drink in front of her, and nodded. “Could be anything,” she repeated absentmindedly, then before Poe could say anything else, she changed the subject. “Doesn’t matter, though…”

“No?” Poe asked curiously as BB-8 chirped his assent. 

“We have better things to worry about than Canto Bight weddings.”

Rose nodded her agreement. “Yeah, we do,” she replied, immediately jumping on the subject change train. “Like whether or not the money from that mission will buy us decent food.” It was a slightly odd thing to say, given that most of the people at that table came from backgrounds where they were just grateful to have something to eat at the end of the day, but it did the trick, and Poe mercifully latched onto this new topic with renewed eagerness. 

As the topic changed again, Rey locked eyes with Rose, and the two women exchanged brief, subtle smiles as they paid casual attention to the new conversation, letting it pass them by until dinner was over. 

Later, the Jedi walked back to her bunk alone. Rose and Finn had both offered to walk back with her, but she’d told them that she’d decided to train for a few minutes instead. It wasn’t exactly a lie, she did head into the training area and take out her frustrations on a couple of unsuspecting droids, but she did that for a grand total of ten minutes before she decided time was just passing too slowly in there. 

The fastest way to pass time was always sleep, and Rey didn’t know how the hell she’d manage to get any sleep that night, but she was certainly going to try. She made her way back to her bunk in silence, wiping a tiny bead of sweat from her brow as she opened her door, and all noise was sucked from the room the instant she walked in. 

It was the first time the force had connected them all day, and Rey’s jaw dropped when she saw him. Ben hasn’t seemed to notice her yet; too busy doing push-ups on the floor to hear that she was now in his space. The activity, however, ensured that she definitely noticed  _ him.  _

Rey couldn’t take her damn eyes off of him. Part of her brain was screaming at her to say something, to alert him to the fact that she was there, but for some reason, she found herself again defeated by Ben’s kriffing arms as the muscles tensed with each time he moved. On top of it all, he was also coated in a thin sheen of sweat, causing his skin to seemingly glisten as she watched him. She leaned against the nearby wall, watching him appreciatively as he continued working out as if she weren’t there. 

He sensed her a few seconds later, looking up from the ground upon registering whatever emotion she was projecting the most, and she watched his cheeks flush more than they already had from the heat flooding his body. Embarrassment and a hint of arousal flickered through the bond as they stared at each other, then he stood, and her breath caught as she took sight of the black leather trousers he wore. 

This pair hung lower on his hips than the last ones did, allowing her the tiniest glimpse of the v formed by his hips, and the thin line of hair starting at his navel and disappearing beneath the waistband of the leather.  _ Kriff _ , he looked good in them, too. Rey let her eyes rake over him appreciatively as she crossed her arms over her chest, and hummed her satisfaction. “Don’t stop,” she told him, unsure where her slightly brazen confidence had come from. “I was enjoying it.”

All Ben gave her in response was a smirk as he reached behind himself, and grasped at a black towel that seemed to appear out of nowhere in the bond, wiping himself down with it before he tossed it aside. The cloth disappeared, but she barely took note that it was missing as her husband strode forward, and she could hear his breathing coming out in short little pants until the moment his hands cupped her jaw, and he was pulling her into a kiss. 

Unlike the tiny, sweet, and almost innocent one they’d shared yesterday, this one was almost frenzied and rushed; their mouths only coming together for a few seconds at a time before they both had to break away to breathe — still winded thoroughly from their post-training heat. All the same she threaded her fingers into his hair, letting him pin her against the wall as he kissed her, and he snuck a leg on the side of hers, allowing himself to press their hips into the wall as he deepened it. 

The kiss only rendered them both even more breathless than before, but neither seemed to care. They only took a second to satisfy their lungs’ need for oxygen when Ben’s hands sank down her waist, and just like they had in the elevator on their wedding night, she jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around his hips as he pinned her against the wall again, kissing her more forcefully than he had been. Something about it drove her mind into a frenzy, and she tugged on his hair to break him away from her for a few seconds as she whispered, “Bed,” whilst looking into his darkened irises. 

That smirk parted his lips again, then he happily obliged her command, swirling them around in a dizzying blur until Rey landed on her back on her mattress, with Ben hovering gently over her before he kissed her again, heat flooding through her anew at how searing his kiss was. She could’ve kissed him like that for hours, but it was an agonizingly short time before he pulled away, both of them panting hard as they stared into one another’s eyes, and suddenly she could sense hesitation and fear through their connection. 

Brushing a piece of his hair back behind his ear, Rey took in a shaky breath. “What’s wrong?”

Ben was shaking on top of her, his tongue darting out nervously to lick his lower lip as she watched him search for a way to answer her question. “I know I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told her, letting a hand drift over the fabric of the shirt she wore, his palm gliding gently down from her shoulder all the way to the top of one of her breasts. Her breath hitched, but she gave him a silent nod, and he continued letting his hand descend until his fingers were resting delicately over the swell of her chest, then he swallowed his anxiety. “But Rey… I… I want to touch you.”

“You are,” she reminded him, wondering if he could feel how hard her heart was pounding in her chest from the minimalist way he was touching her now. 

“I mean…  _ Kriff,  _ how do I say this?” he muttered to himself, then he let his hand drift further down, his fingers reaching beneath the white fabric of her top for the button of her trousers. “I want to try something, if you and the force will let me…” He paused as involuntary giggles erupted from her, then his voice lowered ever so slightly before he continued. “Because I can’t wait another day to put my hands on you.”

His name left her lips with a quiver, but she nodded. “I don’t know about the force, but… whatever you’re thinking… I want you to do it,” she told him, then she took his hand in hers, and maneuvered his fingers through unbuttoning her trousers. “I want you to touch me.”

He shuddered on top of her, but nodded once before kissing her again with the same tender energy he’d shown her after they’d met with his mother the day before. Anxiety filtered through the bond, then she felt him shove it aside as his one hand worked at her trousers, and as he began to pull them — and her underwear as well — over the swell of her ass while the other reached for the laces of her boots where her ankles were still tucked by his hips. Somehow, he managed to pull off her boot without making a fool of himself, and she broke their kiss to help him with the second one, the brown leather slapping clumsily against the floor as Ben’s two shaky hands continued freeing her lower half from the confines of her clothing. 

Rey shivered as the cool air settled over her exposed skin, but the nerves she felt from Ben seeing her actually half naked for the first time were an even greater source for the tremors that now swept through her entire body. She was still perfectly okay with this, and she was delighted that it was him she was doing it with, but some firsts were just a bit more nerve wracking than others, and this was one of them. As Ben finally tossed the trousers aside and crawled back over her, she hoped the force would give them the chance. 

For a moment, all she could hear was the sound of their breathing, and she listened to Ben’s coming out in little staccato beats as he looked at her, eyes drifting down to her exposed legs and the apex of her thighs with a nervous appreciation. They then rushed back up to meet hers, and he didn’t say a word, instead opting to capture her lips in another passionate, short kiss before he began to trail his kisses downward, renewing the color of some of the fading marks on her neck as he went. 

Rey could hardly focus, could hardly even think as Ben’s kisses trailed down over her chest, which was largely concealed by the basic, white shirt she’d worn and which he hadn’t decided to take off. The force only ever seemed to let them undress halfway anyway. They were already pushing their luck with this. She could feel her pulse reverberating through her entire body, her skin on fire beneath every part of her his lips touched as he pressed kisses over her stomach on his way down. 

At first she hadn’t quite known what his intent had been, but the further down he went, the clearer it became, and Rey found herself just as excited as she was nervous. 

Aside from his lessons on alcohol, Poe Dameron also frequently served as an unintentional, but willing educator on all things sexual. He knew far too much for his own good and from experience, and she knew more than she’d ever expected to as a result. Thus, she knew what was coming when Ben gently parted her thighs, and began to plant kisses along the inside of each one, causing an ache to develop between them that she’d only started to really notice the night they’d married. 

“Ben, please,” she begged him softly, wanting him to go down on her before the force became cruel to them again. 

Luckily, he seemed to have the same idea, and finally, his kisses led him right where she wanted him, and Rey gasped against the first stroke of his tongue against her; fists bunching up into his hair as he introduced her to a pleasure she’d never encountered, but already yearned to know again. Over the years on Jakku, she’d done scant amounts of self exploration, but none of it had ever compared to  _ this.  _ There had never been anything like the delicate, artful strokes of Ben’s kriffing sinful mouth against the apex of her thighs, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, there would never be anything better. 

_ She was wrong.  _

Ben shifted again, gripping one of her thighs and positioning it over his shoulder to allow himself better access, and as he resumed tormenting her in the best possible way with his tongue, Rey’s hips nearly bucked from the mattress as an obscene moan left her lips.  He slowly pressed a hand over the planes of her abdominal muscles, keeping her steady with its limp placement as he poured all his focus into bringing her to her peak. 

And she kriffing loved him even more for it. 

She’d never known it was possible to feel like this; like her entire body was floating even as Ben kept her weighed down to her bed, or that she could ever find difficulty with keeping quiet. Her early life had taught her silence was necessary, and at present, the bunks were far from soundproof, but the way he was making her feel… The least she could do was let a couple of moans slip as the ministrations of his tongue picked up their pace, soon joined by a couple of his explorative fingers. Both worked in harmony to tease her, and she could already feel the tension in her muscles building to that fluttering sort of sensation she’d worked herself to with her hand a scant amount of times.

This was much more intense than what she’d done to herself, though, and within minutes he’d already rendered her into an absolute mess beneath his touch, whispering words somewhere between pure filth and sweet affection, allowing her glimpses of his smile on occasion as she watched him move. Rey laughed with delight as he picked up his pace again, then didn’t stop until her hips nearly bucked again as she came, shouting his name loudly enough his poor mother probably heard it from across the base. 

Her husband didn’t let that stop him, and he continued to taste and touch her until she had been rendered completely spent, then he finally pulled away, not even bothering to wipe his mouth before he crawled over her, and kissed her fiercely. She hummed against him as he wrapped her in his arms, rolling back so that they were on their sides as they kissed, and she tasted herself on his tongue as it swept gladly along her lower lip. 

Ben didn’t pull away until she could feel his brain yelling at him for oxygen through the bond, and she laughed at him as he did, but it came out sounding like hysterical gasps for air accompanied by her smile for the first several seconds. Only after they’d had a minute to breathe was she able to properly giggle, smiling broadly at her husband as they both panted. “You didn’t leave,” she told him after a while, then she watched the corners of his mouth slowly tilt upward. 

“No,” he replied, leaning forward to kiss her again. “Not this time, but I’m sure it won’t be long now. We’d never be so lucky.”

“Even if you do leave soon… at least we got this.”

Another grin. “Yeah?”

“Because that was kriffing amazing, Ben, I…” She shook her head, unsure how to proceed from there, or how much time the bond would give her to say all the things she wanted so desperately to say. “I’ll tell you how I feel tomorrow. I don’t want to be interrupted again. It’s too important.”

“It is,” he replied, nodding in agreement. “You want to just lay here until the force decides we’ve been together for too long?”

Rey beamed at him. “I’d love to,” she replied, then Ben rolled over onto his back, and she snuggled up beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist, and hitching a leg over one of his to tangle them together as if it would stop the bond from separating them. He got a slight chuckle out of this as she propped her head on his shoulder, using him as a pillow as he wrapped his arm around her, and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

The two of them then held each other exactly like that, not moving or saying anything, just simply enjoying one another’s company as they had on Cantonica until the force finally tore them apart, and he faded away whispering her name. With a disappointed sigh, she turned over onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling as she basked in the afterglow, feeling more alive and full of energy than she had in her whole life. She may have come to her bedroom with the intent of sleeping away the time until she and Leia left for Crait on the Falcon the next day, but the second he disappeared Rey knew… she wasn’t getting one  _ lick  _ of sleep that night. 


	13. The Wedding Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI This is so long. This kicked my ass into next Tuesday, but UM I DID IT.

That night, Rey slept restlessly. That is to say she slept for about five minutes. Once Ben was gone, she stayed up nearly the entire night staring at the ceiling thinking on the implications of what she was about to do. Of course she had a nervous sort of excitement about seeing Ben, but their meeting was about so much more than the two of them. If all went well, they stood a chance of bringing the war to a slow and steady end as well. 

The galaxy stood a chance at piece, and that sent her heart racing on top of everything else. 

She woke up from the brief five minutes of sleep she had gotten before dawn, disappointed but not surprised that she was alone after what the force had allowed them the night before. The thought of that had her closing her eyes against the tide of images of Ben’s face between her thighs, or the sound of his voice when he’d asked so gently if he could touch her. It took a moment for her to recover herself, then she proceeded to walk into the fresher, shedding her night clothes as she went, until everything was free of her body except for her wedding ring. 

A sense of pride swelled within her as she looked at it, then she stepped into the fresher, and turned it on, letting the warm water spray over her as she closed her eyes again, picturing the day as if it was laid out before her. 

First she’d meet Leia and Rose in the hangar, undoubtedly with BB-8 at their side as they stood beneath the Falcon. From there, they’d take the infamous freighter and travel several hours through hyperspace to return to the abandoned base on Crait, where they’d either wait for Ben, or he’d already be there waiting for them. It all depended on whose ship was faster, and she had a bet that with the First Order’s money, it’d be him. 

After that, they’d come up with some sort of plan to get Ben out, then they’d hopefully part ways with said plan ready to be carried out, and from there it would all be a matter of waiting to see if they were successful. She had hope they would be. If they did it, they stood a chance of ending all this. They could regain the galaxy’s chance at peace, at a good life… and somewhere at the bottom of that list of things that were important in the grand scheme of it, she stood a chance of knowing what it’d actually be like to be married to Ben Solo. 

As she washed herself for the day, Rey let a smile grow wide on her face, knowing that sooner than any of them could have ever thought possible, all of the bloodshed and violence would start to come to an end. It’d take more than just Ben’s defection to completely stop the war, but his actions made for one  _ hell  _ of a start. 

A few minutes later, Rey stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off of a nearby shelf, and wrapping it around herself as she made her way back into her room to scavenge through her wardrobe for something to wear. That morning, a surprising amount of her clothing was stuck in the Resistance’s laundry rooms, taken there the night before by a droid who was just doing its job, but who’d massively inconvenienced her by leaving very few options behind. 

Very few… except…

Peeking out from behind an old leather jacket she’d borrowed from Poe and never returned, she saw the familiar grey draping fabric she’d worn on her trip to the Supremacy. Rey pursed her lips together as she stared at it; ideas already forming in her head as she took in the ensemble she’d worn the last time she was on Crait. They’d cleaned it the moment they landed on their new base, leaving it with her once it was done, and in her anger and frustration, she’d hidden it away, full of sorrow for what she’d failed to do on the fallen ship. 

Tugging it out of her wardrobe, Rey dressed quickly, concealing the marks on her neck by wrapping the trailing end of the fabric around it. She gave her reflection a satisfied once over, then she went on with her morning, taking herself through a few training exercises — mostly a few half-hearted stretches — before grabbing her lightsaber off the nightstand, and making sure her lights were off before she made her way to the hangar where the Falcon was waiting for them.  

In that moment, she’d never been more focused, had never been more determined than she was as she walked into the hangar. She didn’t even spare the x-wing Finn and Poe had fooled around in days earlier a sarcastic glance as she made her way to the Falcon, where BB-8 was already chirping away eagerly at the feet of Rose and Leia. The two women were chatting quietly, or rather, the General was talking in hushed tones to the other woman, undoubtedly informing her of the stakes of the mission one last time before they broke atmo. 

The second Rey arrived, the General pulled back, and gave her a nod before pressing a button that released the Falcon’s ramp from its confines, a metallic hiss sounding as the door lowered, moving at what felt like a snail’s pace until it reached the ground. It felt like she forgot to breathe until she was on board, and she and Rose were sitting in the pilot and copilot seats respectively while Leia sat with BB-8 and a holopad running through potential rescue plans in one of the back rooms. She ran a series of pre-flight checks in her head until she was certain they were clear, then the two women eased the ship out of the hangar, and stole off quietly into the still dark morning. 

The planet hosting their base had one sun, which she only just caught a hint of its rising before the Falcon was breaking through the atmosphere, then she looked over to her co-pilot, and the two women exchanged a knowing stare. “You ready?” she asked. 

“Always,” Rose replied, then Rey reached for the lever that would bring them into hyperspace, and suddenly the stars became streaks of white and blue in the sky as they took off into a speed that was incomprehensible. 

Once they were well within its bowels, Rey leaned back in her seat, and closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment of rest after the exhaustion the night before had brought her. At last, her lack of sleep seemed to be catching up to her, and as her body melted into the chair, she felt another wave of contentment wash over, neutralizing a sense of growing anxiety she could feel from Ben through their bond. 

Sympathy washing over her, she projected her own feelings of peace and calm over the connection, doing so until she felt his mind start to come into a state of renewed ease. Sure, she was still nervous herself about the meeting, but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to  _ try  _ to bring them both out of that line of thinking. This was going to go well. It was going to work. They were going to succeed. There was no other possible outcome that she would allow. 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked, resting a hand on her arm a minute later. 

Rey didn’t open her eyes. “I’m fine, just tired,” she answered. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m about to be a boring pilot, sorry.”

“Don’t be. If I get tired myself I can just call BB-8 in here and have him beep at me until he fries a chip.”

“Poe would murder you.”

“Please we could both replace it easily.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point.”

The two women shared a chuckle, then Rose sighed, and removed her hand from Rey’s arm. “Well, whatever happens… have a good rest… I’ll wake you if I notice anything weird.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“No problem,” she said, then they fell silent as Rey surrendered her mind to the clutches of her long neglected sleep, the time to Crait passing her by completely unnoticed as she lost herself to her dreams. 

Again her unconscious mind supplied her with endless images of the things she’d done with Ben so far. The events from the night before remained the most prominent, with Ben’s tongue between her thighs and her fist tangled in his hair as she cried out loud enough for the whole base to hear. Her mind rendered them so vividly she was almost certain they were real, as if she were experiencing them right there in the cockpit of the Falcon. 

As she slept, it was like everyone else on board faded away. The co-pilot seat was empty, the back rooms held no one in them, and the only two people there were her and Ben. She was still seated in the pilot’s seat, but he was kneeling on the floor in front of her, repeating the previous evening’s events with a renewed vigor as she practically sang beneath his touch, which felt so real she nearly forgot that it was just a dream. 

Ben wasn’t in the Falcon —  _ not yet anyway, _ her mind supplied — and her pants weren’t gathered at her ankles while her thighs sat upon his broad shoulders and he licked, sucked, and pressed kisses to the apex of her thighs, but  _ Kriff  _ it felt like that was real. It felt like her husband was whispering sweet nothings against her skin and creating new marks between her thighs where no one would ever see but the two of them. 

It still felt real as he let her finish, then began to crawl on top of her again while she leaned the seat back, undoing the clasp of his trousers as he bent down to kiss the breath from her lungs. Rey’s hands found themselves woven through his hair again, threading his soft waves between her fingers as she returned his kiss, helping him remove his own trousers once she was finished thoroughly mussing up his hair, then they both stopped, all the action coming to a grinding halt for a few seconds as they stared at one another. 

Vaguely, she knew it was just a dream, but in that moment she’d never seen his eyes so soft and yet intense all the same. The whole thing was just a very real imitation of something greater, but it brought emotions to the surface she didn’t know she was capable of feeling. Somewhere between the physical and the spiritual aspects of what she thought they were about to do came the absolute certainty that she wanted to do this; that when the time came for them to be alone with no interruptions, they were both going to be ready. The journey they’d undertake was going to be frightening and exciting all the same, but she knew that as long as it was the two of them, it would be absolutely wonderful. 

Rey woke up before the dream could progress further; shaken into consciousness by Rose’s hand on her shoulder. Her eyes burst open, looking around the cockpit for someone she knew wouldn’t be there, but still disappointed when she couldn’t find him. The woman sitting in the seat beside her gave her a sympathetic nod, then she gestured ahead to where the blur of hyperspace still drifted on past them. “We’re almost there, get ready for landing,” Rose warned her. 

_ Kriff _ . Had she slept the entire ride to Crait? It felt like she’d closed her eyes only minutes ago, and she knew good and well that their flight time was supposed to be seven hours. Yet just a few seconds after she woke up, they began the sequence to bring them out of hyperspace, and suddenly the stars were no longer streaking around them as they entered realspace. 

It wasn’t long after that when Crait looked over them once more, the planet’s red surface coated in a thin, white layer that made it look as if it were a massive blood blister that spanned its whole mass. The sight of it sent shivers running down her spine as she recalled the last time she’d been there, when she and Chewie had flown over the First Order’s fleet — at least, what they’d sent down to attempt to snuff out the Resistance — and taken out TIEs like they were swatting inconvenient mosquitoes. 

She remembered how she’d seen Ben after that just minutes later, how they’d stared at one another in the aftermath of the battle for his grandfather’s lightsaber, still emotionally raw from all they’d been through in the span of one day. Looking back on it now, she didn’t regret shutting that door on him. Neither of them was ready for the conversation they needed to have yet — and in hindsight, Ben had a very important realization to come to that he might not have discovered if she’d interfered. Sometimes, she found, they needed to grow on their own, independent of the other, even if they learned best when they were together. 

Now they were back to where everything had reset between them, to where they’d last met as enemies and now we’re meeting as lovers. Her heart raced in her chest as she wondered if Ben was already there; if he’d beaten them to the salt coated planet like she’d predicted he would. As they broke through the planet’s atmosphere, she reached out into the force, gauging if anyone else besides herself, Leia, and Rose were there, but she found nothing. Even through the bond she could still only feel his nervous sort of excitement, but it was faint background noise like it always was whenever they were far apart. 

He wasn’t there yet. They’d beaten him. 

Her heart sank into her stomach, but she maintained a strong exterior as she helped Rose guide the ship toward the long abandoned base.

As they approached, she could see the damage inflicted on the main entrance to their destination, the black doors wide open and scorched to high unholy hell, revealing the contents of its guts. The winds on Crait had replaced the salt crystals over where the Resistance and First Order had done battle, and even carried the whiteness into the entrance of the base, vulptices scattering in every direction as the ship began its final descent into the base. By the time they were close enough to see the hints of fear in the eyes of the familiar creatures, nearly all of them had scattered, and they were left for the most part alone as they touched the freighter down in the cave. 

Rey’s pulse was still racing faster than was healthy as the ship powered down, and they all made a cautious exit from its depths. Leia and BB-8 joined them from the bunks, the former of the two carrying a holo-pad in her hands that she was still typing furiously away on as Rose lowered the ramp off the Falcon. The droid beeped excitedly as the ramp touched the ground, and charged ahead of them all in typical Poe Dameron fashion as he rolled out onto the dirt. 

Rey barely noticed what the others did as she ran after him, running out of the abandoned base and into the open air to search the sky for any signs of a friend or foe. A breeze drifted lazily past her as she put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the blinding daylight as she scanned the distant blue for a ship she presumed would be black as the night. 

“See anything?” Rose asked as she came running out of the base. 

She shook her head. “No, nothing yet, but we might be early,” she replied, watching as Rose jogged up to her, then stood by her side, shielding her eyes in a similar manner to Rey as she too looked up at the sky. “I’m sure it was also harder for him to escape the Order than it was for us to leave the Resistance.”

Rose hummed her assent, then the two fell quiet, watching intently for some sign of life as they listened for the sound of a TIE’s engine, or even a small escape craft like the one she’d once stolen from Snoke. She doubted Ben would take anything larger, a shuttle wouldn’t be able to fly under the Order’s radars, she was certain. 

The sound of Leia’s footsteps filled her ears not long after, but she ignored them as she finally heard the distant sound of an approaching engine from somewhere behind them, but it didn’t belong to any ship she knew of the First Order… no… It almost sounded like…

Rey turned around, her jaw falling open as she watched an x-wing barrel roll into her field of vision, surprise blooming on the faces of the three women standing on Crait’s salty planes. She reached out into the force again, and a smile parted her lips as she realized the pilot of the x-wing was indeed her husband. Without another moment’s hesitation, she ran back into the base as she saw him make a turn for it, her feet moving as fast as her body would allow as she watched Ben fly over her head, landing his ship just beyond where the Falcon sat waiting for the next time it would take flight. 

His name fell from her lips as she watched him open the roof of the ship, the glass hissing as it revealed Ben’s near shoulder length, wavy hair, and slightly exhausted face coated in a sheen of sweat. She thought she might’ve started perspiring too when she noticed he was wearing civilian clothing, his ensemble resembling that of something Finn or Poe would wear, but still maintaining his usual preference for darker colors. The jacket he wore was gray, the shirt beneath it a lighter version of the same shade, and the combination of the two sent her brain into overdrive, but beyond that… it was the first time she’d seen him in person since they’d woken up together in her hotel room the morning after their wedding. Her eyes remained locked on him as he jumped down from the x-wing, then he looked at the odd crew of four, searching the faces for a split second that felt like a lifetime before he saw Rey. 

Once he caught sight of her, she didn’t hesitate to rush forward, running across the dust covered floor toward him. A flicker of a smile crossed Ben’s face as he began to run toward her in turn, and with the pace they were moving at, the two met in the middle just seconds later, his arms wrapping around her waist, and lifting her into the air as she clung to him tightly. Rey nearly laughed from delight as she clutched the fabric of his jacket in her fingers, as she breathed him in and pressed a kiss to the side of his head, forgetting for a moment that they had company as she reveled in having him in her arms again. It had maybe been a week since they’d last seen each other, but with all the developments that had happened between them since then, it felt like so much longer. 

Ben spun her around, and she swore she heard his own relieved laugh as she felt his euphoria through their bond. He was just as excited as she was, and she’d known that from the start, but the confirmation was exhilarating. 

Rey stroked his hair with one hand as he finally moved to set her down, then she let her palm glide down to caress his cheek once she was on the ground, her thumb falling over the tiny ridge created by the scar she’d given him. “Hell—“ she started to say, but Ben cut her off without warning, kissing her passionately like there was no one else in the room. She gave him an involuntary little hum of shock, then she returned his kiss, reaching up with her other hand to cup the other side of his face as she deepened it. 

She’d almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss him in reality. Through the force, it certainly felt nice, but there was something else about having him actually there. She could always feel him, whether through the bond or not, but there was something magnetic about the way she was kissing him now. There was an air of certainty between them; a satisfaction of knowing they couldn’t be ripped away before they were ready, and for some reason, she felt victorious. 

Ben seemed to feel it, too, if the emotions he was projecting through the bond were any indication, and that had her heart swelling with joy. 

Smiling into the kiss, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her hips flush against his as she too forgot that there were other people in the hangar. Through the force, she could tell their eyes were looking elsewhere anyway. The newly married couple had been granted a moment — a chance to properly say hello. 

A breeze blew past them, ruffling their clothing and pushing Rey’s hair into her face as they kissed, but Ben didn’t hesitate to reach up and brush it out of the way, not letting anything — even the stupid wind — get in the way of them and their overdue reunion. 

It was easily her favorite kiss they’d shared so far, but all too soon he pulled away; shock and embarrassment filling the bond as he finally seemed to remember that Rose and his kriffing mother were standing nearby. Both of them were breathing hard, winded from a mixture of having run to meet each other and the rather searing kiss they’d shared upon reuniting, even if it was cut a little short. 

Ben was still fighting back a broad smile that she wished he’d let loose as they finally pulled apart from one another, then he lifted a hand to her cheek, stroking it with his thumb, and she grinned again when she realized he wasn’t wearing any gloves. She could feel the cool metal of his wedding ring against her skin, and that filled her with a renewed sense of pride. It also made her want to kiss him senseless again, but she managed to refrain from doing so as she searched for her words. “If I say hello, will you let me finish this time?”

A nervous chuckle escaped him, then he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled his wife into an embrace. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I… I just…”

“I know,” she assured him, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of emotions filling them both as she held him in her arms, pulling back just enough to see his face. “Did you get away safely? Did anyone see you?”

Ben nodded. “I left them in the dead of night. I got away, no one saw,” he promised her, and she fought back tears of joy as she embraced him again, though fleetingly. “What about you?”

“We’re fine.”

“Good, yeah, that’s… that’s good.”

A throat cleared behind them, and she watched Ben’s face grow pale as he looked up. Turning her head in the same direction, Rey immediately understood why. The source of the noise was Leia, and she was staring at them with a look in her eyes somewhere between slightly amused, overwhelmed, and shocked. “I hate to interrupt,” she began, stepping forward with an almost cautious foot. “But if this is going to work… I need a minute alone with my son.”

Ben pressed his lips together, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed uncomfortably, then he gave his mother a nod. “Fine,” he said, then he looked back at Rey, and leaned in to press another lingering kiss to her forehead before lowering his voice so she was the only one who could hear him say, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered, then Ben stepped away from her, and she watched as he and the General made their way toward the Falcon, and walked up its ramp. Rey followed them with her eyes until they disappeared from sight, then she turned to Rose and BB-8, who were also looking after the mother and son pair with anxiety in their gazes. At least, the droid seemed anxious, but it was more telling on the nature of his beeps than in the way he stared. 

“We should get a fire going,” Rose said a few seconds later. “I tucked some spare firewood in the storage closet. Maybe by the time they get done we can have lunch ready.”

Rey grunted her assent, then she thought about what her friend had said for a moment. “I don’t know about lunch. It’s already late in the afternoon…” She looked back at the Falcon. “And there’s a lot more history between them than I think either of us will ever know.”

“You’re probably right,” Rose said, then she shrugged as she began her walk into the Falcon. “Guess we’ll have  _ dinner  _ ready instead.”

“Good idea.” And with that, the two women climbed up the ramp, and immediately took a turn toward the storage closet, not bothering to journey any further than they had to in order to achieve their mission. 

Half an hour later, they had a sizeable fire burning just within the walls of the old base. It was positioned there so that it might stand a chance against being blown out or fanned into extremes by the wind as Rey and Rose cooked the meat they’d brought with them on the trip. Apparently it wasn’t even supposed to be there at all, but the latter of the two had smuggled it on board the ship in the dark of the night when she too wound up unable to sleep. They had shared a giggle at that, then resumed their work until the food was finished, and from there it was just a matter of waiting. 

It felt like an eternity passed as they sat there by the fire waiting for Ben and Leia, and after a while Rey took to absentmindedly stroking BB-8, pulling the droid into a hug that received a multitude of loud, happy beeps. A tiny smile crossed her face even as Rose laughed at the sight, making her return her friend’s mocking laughter with a favored crude gesture she’d learnt from her days on Jakku. 

Everything seemed to be going well, and she could only hope it would stay that way. 

A while later, they finally heard movement coming from the Falcon, and both their heads snapped up in time to see Leia hugging Ben at the bottom of the ramp. Their faces were obscured in the dim light, but she could feel a sense of peace radiating from her husband, and she figured that alone was a good enough sign that things had gone well in the ship. 

She watched with held breath as the two began their walk toward Rey and Rose’s Fire, which was crackling steadily on as darkness began to overtake Crait’s skies. She stood up as Ben approached her side, letting him greet her with a kiss to her cheek before the four of them sat down. Once they were all settled, the two women who hadn’t been a part of the conversation began sharing the food they’d prepared while the others were away, then they all sat in a circle of silence, just watching the fire burn. 

After what felt like eons, Leia finally spoke. “I’ve already brought to attention an idea for my son’s defeat of the Order,” she told them, then she waited until all eyes were on her before she spoke again. “But it’s risky, and undoubtedly needs refining.”

“How so?” Rey asked. 

“I had a thought that we should use your connection to spy on the Order. Ambush them when the opportunity strikes, but we’ll have to be extremely delicate with how we handle it.” 

“Of course.”

“And I’ll purposefully make terrible military decisions as supreme leader,” Ben added. “Hopefully nothing will rouse my General’s suspicions, but I’ll be in touch if anything goes wrong — actually…” He looked at Rey. “You’ll  _ know  _ if anything goes wrong.”

She nodded. “I’m sure I will,” she replied, taking one of his hands into hers. “But what about after we take down the Order?”

At that point, Leia interrupted. “I know you said you didn’t want to, but… for all intents and purposes, you may as well ally yourself with us if you truly intend to bring the order down. We’re your best shot.”

Ben shook his head. “It’s not a good idea. Even if I wanted to go back, we all know half the people there would want me dead.”

“Most of them don’t know who you are,” Rose interrupted, speaking the first words she’d ever said to him. “Without the big cape and the black, you almost look like a different person. And if you’re the General’s son…”

Ben looked surprised to see Rose speak, but Rey rested a hand on his arm. “She has a point. And… you don’t have to stay forever.  _ We  _ don’t have to stay forever. We just need to ensure that all traces of the First Order are gone and then we… then we can live our lives.”

“Together?” he asked quietly. 

Rey gave him a nod. “Together.”

Hesitating a moment, Ben looked between the three women and the droid they’d brought with them. She could feel conflict warring within him again as he thought through his options. Up until then he’d made it clear that he didn’t want to join the Resistance, but if it made sense from a tactical point of view, then maybe he’d consider it. He spared another glance at Rey, taking in a deep breath before he closed his eyes. “I’ll do it,” he said. “I’ll help you take down the central government of the Order, then I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked, squeezing the hand holding hers. “Ben, you can take time to think on it if you want to.”

“We don’t have time. The faster we move, the sooner we end this,” he told her, then realization struck him, echoing through the bond. “It’s better for the galaxy as a whole to do this as quickly as possible. What I want… it doesn’t matter anymore.”

The group fell silent for a moment, the roaring fire in front of them taking over the conversation as they processed what he’d said. Rey’s gaze fell on Leia, who was watching them with a calculating stare before she too seemed to come to a conclusion. “You’ve grown.”

“Mother, I stopped growing long before I—“

“Not physically, Ben. Mentally. You’ve changed,” Leia said, then she straightened her posture. “And I’m proud of you.”

Ben swallowed, seeming unsure of how to respond to that for a few seconds. In the silence that followed, the fire continued its irregular beats, waving in the breeze gently as the sky finally became dark. “I’m sorry,” he whispered suddenly, and when she looked at him, his eyes were blinking at the floor. “I…I’m sorry.” 

“And so am I,” Leia replied. “For my part in all this.”

Rey watched Ben silently blink a tear from his eyes, then he nodded, and mimicked his mother’s stiff posture as he shifted the conversation. “But back to the topic at hand… we need to work out the smaller details, and we need to do it quickly. I don’t know how long it’ll be before they notice I’m gone.”

“Agreed,” the General replied. “Let’s get to business.”

The ensuing conversation took up the bulk of the next two hours, ending just after the last vestiges of daylight faded from the horizon, and their food was long since gone. There was a sense of unease, but also excitement over the little camp as they all went over the plan another couple of times before deciding that it was settled. They were going to finally bring the war to an end, and for the first time, they knew exactly how they’d do it. 

Once they finished that conversation with smiles nervously blooming on their faces, Leia turned to Rey, and gestured to the Falcon. “I think the fire is going out, would you mind grabbing more wood?”

She stared at her mother in law in concern, eyes flickering between her and the fire, which was definitely still going strong. Her eyes narrowed as she sensed mischief alight in the force, but she couldn’t quite grasp why it was there. “Are you sure?”

“That’s an order, Rey, not a question,” the General replied, and she found it odd, given that Leia was not usually one to pull rank, but there was something hiding under the surface of her expression just on the cusp of giving away her thoughts. Skywalkers had according to legend always had trouble concealing their emotions, and while she was better than Luke or Ben were, not even the great Leia Organa could hide herself completely. 

Still, an order was an order, and complying was likely the best way to see what Leia was up to. With that thought in mind, Rey leaned over to briefly kiss Ben’s cheek. “I’ll be right back,” she assured him, then she pushed herself up off the ground, giving BB-8 a pat on his round, little head before she headed into the Falcon, and made her way back toward the storage closet where they kept the firewood. 

What Leia has asked her to do was absolutely absurd. That wood was notorious for being able to burn for six hours straight, and they’d been out there for a little over three. It wasn’t due to fade for some time, but for some reason, she’d been sent back to the Solo’s beloved ship anyway. She still couldn’t quite fathom why as she reached into the closet, and pulled out another couple of blocks of wood. 

After she had them securely in her hands, Rey turned back, and prepared to return to the fire, but froze when she saw Ben standing at the other end of the hallway with a crimson blush coloring his cheeks. “What’d she send you in here for?” she asked curiously, already prepared to laugh at what would undoubtedly be an amusing answer. 

Ben’s lips clamped together in that specific way only he ever managed to do, and he exhaled slowly. “She sent me in here to help you with the firewood.”

“We don’t even need—“ He raised his eyebrows, anticipation filling the bond as he waited for her to get the punchline to a joke she hadn’t realized she was a part of. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “ _ Oh.” _

Rey set down the firewood, then she closed the storage closet doors, and locked them up, knowing full well that she wasn’t going to be opening them again any time soon. “So… we have a moment alone, then?” She took a step toward him, feeling a sudden sense of nervousness take over her as he followed suit, and suddenly she could feel his anxiety as well, both of them scared but sure as they approached one another, the intent clear in their eyes as they stared. 

“We do.”

“And we’re… actually together…” Another step. “And… we don’t know when or if we’ll see each other after this because—“ She was cut off again as Ben suddenly surged forward, and one of his hands gripped her hair in a fist while his arm wrapped around her waist, then he captured her lips in another searing kiss. 

Head spinning, Rey returned it with fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck as she suddenly felt his hands reaching down for her thighs again, and she responded by breaking the kiss to leap up into his arms, feeling a sturdy hand catch one of her thighs while the other supported her back. As soon as she was secure in her new position, she resumed kissing him hungrily, losing herself to the all encompassing feeling that came with kissing him in the flesh rather than through the force. All those kisses had been brilliant, all the touches, and all the dreams were magic, but she had a feeling neither would compare to the real thing as Ben began to lead her down the hallway, his tongue sweeping along her lower lip as she felt him reach out with the force. 

Vaguely she registered that behind her a door was opening, and she felt Ben duck as they passed through its frame, then he walked a little further, still kissing her the entire time. Rey smiled against his lips, an involuntary giggle escaping her as he sat down on what she knew was a bed —  _ he’d taken her to the bunks and hadn’t even opened his eyes.  _

Well, it had once been the ship he’d grown up on. Figures he’d know it well. 

Rey moaned as she settled down into his lap, straddling his hips as they settled into the mattress, then they finally broke apart from their kiss to simply look at one another for a moment, holding a conversation with their eyes. She was breathing hard as she looked down at his kiss swollen lips, then she shifted, taking his face in her hands as she leaned her forehead against his. “Ben… are you sure?”

“Only if you are,” he replied, closing his eyes as he spoke, his voice trembling with emotion, sounding almost as if he were speaking over a lump in his throat. “Rey… I don’t… I don’t want to do this if there’s even the slightest part of you that isn’t ready…”

“Shhh… I… I’m ready… as long as you are… Ben… I want to,” she breathed, then the weight of what they were about to do settled in, and she shuddered on top of him, a hand finding its way into his hair and gripping him as if he were the only thing tethering her to this earth, but not enough to hurt him. “Trust doesn’t come easy to me… but I feel it with you…” She sniffled, closing her eyes too to avoid the tears she could feel brimming in her eyes. “And this is honestly frightening. I’m sure you can feel me shaking.”

“It’s okay, I’m shaking, too,” he replied, then they both laughed nervously. 

“It’s frightening,” she continued, tongue darting out to wet her lips. “But I think it’ll be less scary with you.”

Ben pulled back from her then, brushing her hair back behind her ear before he leaned forward, kissing her ever so gently as he asked her with his body as well as his words if this was okay. She assured him as she kissed him back that it was, but before the kiss could get more serious, he broke away, seeming to think of something abruptly. “This won’t start anything… will it?”

It took her a second to catch on, but eventually she did, and she shook her head. “No, I got an implant when I formally became part of the Resistance. After the last time I was here.” She began stroking his hair again, living for how soft it felt beneath her fingers. “We don’t have to worry about anything.”

The corners of Ben’s mouth twitched upward, enhancing the glistening quality his testy eyes had to them as he gave her a gentle smile. “Then I guess our only obstacle is neither of us know what we’re doing.”

Rey laughed as a tear slipped onto his cheek, then she leaned forward, kissing it away, and tasting the salt on her tongue a second later. “Then we’ll figure it out together,” she whispered, then she brought her lips back down to his, and wrapped an arm around his neck, holding him firmly as her other one slipped down to find the mattress beneath them as they slowly came down on top of it. 

The kiss started out tentative and cautious, like they were two strangers getting to know one another instead of lovers, but they slowly worked their way up to their usual level of passion. Their lips moved against each other rhythmically, but they lost their beat as Rey’s hands slid down onto his chest, parting the fabric of his jacket as she began to slide it from his broad shoulders. They shifted positions in order for him to take it off, and while he was at it, Ben threw his shirt over his head, letting it fly to the other side of the room before he laid back down on the mattress, allowing Rey to crawl over him anew and kiss him until he was breathless. 

As his kisses dragged down onto her neck, his hands reached for the leather belt she’d worn at her waist, then he stopped. “I hope you don’t think I didn’t notice what you’re wearing.”

“Mmm, I hoped you would,” she told him, kissing his jaw once before he resumed his work both at her neck and on the belt. “I figured it was fitting for the occasion.”

Confusion drifted into the bond. “For—?”

“No,” she said with a laugh as he finally undid the belt, then worked at the tie binding the draping fabric to her waist. “For returning here… for seeing you again…”

Ben kissed her again, a hand coming up to caress the base of her skull as he let the tie come loose, then he tugged at the fabric on her shoulders with the other hand, letting it pool lazily around them, painting the two  in a sea of gray as they kissed. She moaned softly as his hands reached for the hem of the shirt she wore beneath it, then she pulled back just long enough to tear it over her head before she was kissing him again, tugging at the laces of her boots as she remembered where the force had stopped them the last time they’d attempted to do this. 

It wouldn’t succeed at stopping them this time. No, this time they were anchored, and neither one of them would be set adrift anytime soon. After all that waiting, they’d finally been granted time, and she intended to use every second of it celebrating their wedding night a week and a day or so after it had actually happened. 

Alcohol, she realized for the second time, was a mistake. 

But they were sober now, and so Rey tugged off her boots, then nervously reached for the fabric of the band binding her breasts. Her hands began shaking as she moved, then they were trembling so badly that Ben broke away from their kiss, putting a hand over hers that she could feel was also trembling. “Let me,” he said, then she gave him a nod, watching as his large fingers worked to free her from the confines of the fabric with a racing heart. 

Her husband’s breathing quickened as he undid the band, then he full body  _ shuddered  _ when he finally let the fabric fall down into the gray. Now they were even; both of them shirtless and finally physically present in the Falcon’s bunk. Rey could feel his heart racing as her palms slid down to his chest, and his eyes drifted down to the newly exposed skin. “You’re quiet,” she observed quietly, voice near a whisper. 

Ben responded by sitting up, and pressing the world’s softest kisses along the side of her neck, not even seeming to consider leaving more marks there. “Because I don’t know how to put it in words,” he replied as his kisses drifted past her collarbone, and onto the swell of one of her breasts. “I’m trying to show you instead.”

She gasped as his kisses began to cover her chest, making her wonder if he could feel her heart pounding beneath his lips for a moment before he began reaching for the button of her trousers with his other hand. “Ben…” His name tumbled from her lips as he began to slowly slide them down over the swell of her ass, taking her basic underwear with them until he froze, then looked up at her suddenly. 

“Is this okay?” he asked, and his voice was so tender and almost sweet she felt a lump growing in her throat all over again. 

“Yes,” she replied with a nod. “Ben, it’s more than okay…” She shifted on top of him, tugging off the remnants of her clothing before she set to work on removing his. The tide of emotions washing over them both was the most intense, real, and unexpectedly beautiful thing she’d ever felt, and she’d said it to him already that day, but Rey needed him to hear it again one more time. “I… I love you, and this is…” Another deep breath as Ben kicked off his own trousers, leaving them both completely naked on the bunk, eyes wide with that specific sort of inexperienced curiosity only found in the eyes of excited, frightened lovers making love to one another for the first time. 

She was still searching for a way to finish her sentence when her husband pulled her back onto his lap; skin properly touching skin for the first time as he took her face in his hands. “I love you, too,” he replied, then he was kissing her again, and she felt a warm, wet tear streak down her face as she returned his kiss, then they sank back down into the bed, losing themselves to each other as they finally consummated their marriage. 

Ben’s hands ghosted over her skin, large but careful in their movements as one reached down between her legs, both of them a little scared, but slowly finding peace as he began preparing her for what was to come. They were inexperienced, yes, but it would seem that he wasn’t a complete fool. Clearly someone had at one point taught him  _ something.  _ Not everything, though. He was a little awkward in the way he went about pressing a finger inside of her, his hands were shaking badly and he kept muttering quiet apologies the whole way through, but he managed to make her laugh before he kissed her again to shut her up. 

All the same she rode his finger until he slowly slipped another one inside of her, causing her to moan into his mouth as she kissed him. Ben seemed to figure out that he’d done something right by her reaction, and as his movements became less awkward, she could feel him mentally taking notes, making sure he knew what to do when they got the chance to eventually do this again later. It was as much a learning experience as it was loving, both of them slowly conquering fear that gave way to sheer joy as Ben brought her to her climax on his fingers. 

She broke away from their kiss to shout his name, hands gripping him tightly in a prayer that she wouldn’t fall as he continued pleasuring her until she was almost completely spent. The feelings he brought her made it almost difficult to breathe as she came down from her first high, and pressed her forehead against his again as she slowly filled her lungs with air. As she came back into herself, she realized he was breathing just as hard as she was, both of them gasping for air as she came down from her high. 

Rey pulled back a little ways then, staring at him as he looked over her with hooded eyes, fingers drawing little shapes on her back while he took a moment to process what they’d just done. As she watched him, a thought came into her mind. He’d now made her come twice, but barely expressed a desire or concern for himself. “I think it’s your turn now,” she told him, then he gave her a faint hint of a smile, and a nod. 

“If you want to…”

“I want to…” she replied, taking in the first proper gulp of air she’d taken in minutes. “ _ Kriff,  _ I want to.”

Ben laughed nervously. “We should probably wait until we can breathe.”

“I think you may be right,” she replied, then she gave him another brief, but lingering kiss. “But the second you tell me you’re ready… it’s your turn.”

“That sounds like a fair deal,” he replied, and they shared another laugh before they fell into silence. Ben tightened his grip for a moment, then he shifted them so they were properly oriented on the bed, and he laid his head back on the pillows as he stared up at her, still catching his breath for another minute as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over her skin. 

There was an incomprehensible amount of love in his eyes as they looked up into hers, making her wonder how she’d gotten so lucky as to find something like this out of all the horrors she’d seen in the galaxy. In all the years she’d spent by herself, this wasn’t something she’d ever thought she’d see. Sure, she’d thought one day she might enjoy it, but she’d never even considered it might be possible she’d get the opportunity to. If memory served, he hadn’t thought so either. And yet despite all the odds and tiny chances that stood against them, the two loneliest people in the galaxy had found each other. Not only that, but they’d managed to turn the connection between them into something they’d only thought would happen in their dreams. It had been an accident in a way, but it was the best accident that had ever happened to her. 

It wasn’t long after that when Ben nodded, then he sat up, and kissed her again. “I’m ready,” he said quietly, following his statement with one more kiss. 

“Me too,” she replied. “There’s no one to interrupt us, you’re here, and…” 

He cut her off again, this time much more slowly than the last time he’d interrupted her as he pulled her down to him in a kiss, nearly rendering her breathless again before either of them even thought to let their hands venture downward again. 

Eventually though, they did let themselves give in, and as Rey finally lowered herself onto him minutes later, she found all her fear was gone. All that was left was her, Ben, and the connection between them as they finally took that leap together. 

She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting out of this sort of thing. On Jakku it had been spoken of crudely, not a terribly soft thing, not emotional by any standards, but in the Resistance… she’d learned from her fellow soldiers that it didn’t have to be that way. She’d heard that it could be gentle, awkward, and maybe a little painful — especially the first time. This second definition definitely felt more accurate, but there was only a little pain in the beginning as she first settled over him, taking him as far as she could before she knew without a doubt she’d reached her limit before she began to move. 

Ben moaned softly as she moved on top of him, his eyes closing for the briefest of seconds before he opened them again, seeming to not want to miss a thing as he watched her. Her cheeks flushed from embarrassment as she felt his eyes on her, and she looked down, feeling awkward in her movements as she ground onto him. Through the bond, she could tell he sensed this, and Ben took her face in his hands, and pressed soothing kisses to her cheeks. “Rey, it’s okay.”

“I’m bad at this,” she replied, but she didn’t stop, instead focusing her energy on trying to make it less weird. “I’m so sorry.”

“Rey, it’s my first time, too,” he reminded her, then he moaned involuntarily as she finally seemed to do something right, and he nodded in confirmation. “I can’t tell if you’re doing anything badly, I promise, but whatever you just did…” She repeated the motion, shifting her hips in the exact same manner to force him to interrupt himself with a breathless swear. “ _ Just like that _ … keep doing that…”

“I think I can,” she replied, then she descended on his mouth again, and he hummed against her as she continued riding him, growing gradually more confident as the time went on. 

It got easier the longer she did it. At least, she thought it was getting easier. It certainly felt like it was. After a while, she started thoroughly enjoying herself, wondering if the feeling of having him inside of her like this was going to always feel this good, if he was always going to make her feel like her head was spinning, always going to hold her exactly like this while he worked her toward another orgasm. 

She could tell he was on the cusp of coming apart himself, whatever words he managed to say to her were stuttered, slurred, and uneven; his and his own movements stilted as she brought them both to the edge. “Rey, I’m… I’m not gonna last much longer…”

“Me neither,” she admitted, then she took him a little deeper on the next thrust, and he cried out as he came, holding onto her tightly as she joined him not even a second later with a moan that was quiet in comparison. Still, she couldn’t fathom the feelings it brought her. It had felt good enough when she’d come apart beneath his mouth and fingers, but when they came together, it was an all encompassing feeling. Their bond ensured they both felt what the other was experiencing, and she could feel Ben’s ecstasy as well as she could her own, his emotions doubling hers to create something she hadn’t previously been able to fathom. 

Rey rode him through it, kissing him as she came down from her high without a care for her oxygen starved lungs. They could wait another second, and that was the precise length of time they managed to wait before she pulled away to steal a breath, watching Ben through hooded eyes as he too fought for air 

They stayed like that for a moment before he finally smiled at her, wiping away a bead of sweat she hadn’t even noticed developing. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, then he decided against it as he instead took her hand, and ran his thumb over the band of her wedding ring. “There’s not… I don’t know what to say…”

“Neither do I…” she said in agreement, then she sighed, kissing him again before she pulled back. “And we don’t have much time… so… Can we just hold each other until you have to go?”

Her husband gave her a nod. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he replied, then they shared a soft laugh as Rey shifted off of him so that she was lying down by his side, and he wrapped her up in his arms, whispering something that sounded like, “I love you,” as he turned on his side, and rested his chin on the top of her head. 

“Don’t leave,” she whispered back, unsure if Ben heard her until he held onto her a little more tightly. 

“I’ll come back, you know I will,” he told her, then he swallowed his nerves. “Rey, you’re my  _ wife _ … I’ll fight through the worst hell if it means I’ll see you again.” He then pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and as she closed her eyes, a sense of peace washed away the sudden, creeping sense of impending doom, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he meant every word.


	14. Not Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm gonna begin this note by announcing that there is now art for this fic! [ Til-lyanae](https://til-lyanae.tumblr.com/post/183294809268/at-this-moment-when-time-seems-like-suspended) and [ aionimica](https://twitter.com/aionimica/status/1108527448914882566?s=21) both drew some gorgeous versions of the balcony scene from chapter 7, and I absolutely adore them.
> 
> And thank you all so much for the wonderful responses you give to this fic. Thank you so, so much.
> 
> Also, the chapter count may go up again. I can probably wrap this in 17 chapters, but 16... we'll see...

Ben’s fingers were absentmindedly stroking soothing circles into Rey’s arm as the time passed, and she tightened the grip of the arm she had wrapped around his still unclothed waist. About five minutes earlier, they’d crawled beneath the sheets as the chill from the aftermath of their love making settled over them, but her husband’s chest was still exposed from the fabric. 

Apparently the cold didn’t bother him as much as it bothered her. 

Rey sighed as she turned the head resting on his shoulder, and pressed a kiss to his skin. “How much longer are you going to stay?”

He didn’t answer her. Instead, Ben cupped her jaw with his free hand, and brought his lips down to hers. While Rey really did want to talk, she wasn’t going to pass up the chance to actually kiss him in person, so she pushed that thought to the background of her mind as she returned his kiss. 

His lips tasted ever so slightly of sweat, which made her grin into their kiss as she recalled just why he had been rendered into such a state. The last hour or so that they’d been in the Falcon’s bunk had easily been one of the best of her life. At least, it was one she wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon, and intended to hold dear to her heart for as long as time would allow. It had been the most real, soft, and emotionally raw but beautiful thing she’d ever experienced — a wedding night worthy of legend, in her opinion, even in spite of the awkward moments they’d had. 

After all, when things had taken a slight turn into awkward, they’d laughed, finding joy instead of feeling embarrassed, and Rey didn’t know much, but she had a feeling that was a sign of something good. 

Eventually, she pulled away, and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw before she rested a hand on her husband’s chest, feeling his pounding heart beating out a drummer’s rhythm beneath her palm. “I wish we could stay here for a while longer.”

“One day we will,” he promised. “When this is over, I’ll come back, and we won’t leave this bed until we’re ready or sick of each other.”

“Do you think we’d get sick of each other?”

“Not easily,” he replied, then he turned his gaze up, his eyes inquisitive as they took in the bland, white ceiling. 

Rey watched him curiously. “What are you thinking about?”

“My mother and Rose are still out there waiting for us to bring back that firewood,” he replied, then he scoffed, shaking his head. “Though, I don’t think they ever intended for us to come back… especially not with firewood.”

“No, they didn’t.” A laugh shook through her body. “But I think your mother just intended to give us time alone. I don’t think she meant for us to…”

They both snickered quietly at this, then Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m glad we did,” he replied, his palm resting casually against her cheek as he spoke. “I needed to know what that felt like before I left.”

“I know,” she said. “And it was… it was brilliant. I’m still not entirely sure how to put it in words, but… that one seems to come close, I think.”

“I think so, too.”

Rey glanced up at him with another smile parting her lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She watched the corners of his mouth twitch up, finding herself hypnotized by his smile as he put it on display again. A part of her still couldn’t believe this was real; that it wasn’t part of a wonderful dream or a vision of the force that would be snatched away at any moment. But then he never faded away, and then he kept touching her, kept kissing her, and those rings shone brilliantly on their fingers, and she realized anew that it  _ was _ her reality. It  _ was  _ real, and  _ kriff _ , she’d never been more grateful for reality in her life. 

For the next few minutes, Rey was able to pretend her life was perfect. It was already fantastic just being married to him, but the looming threat of something terrible hung over their heads like a chandelier about to drop, and made it all that much less magical. That in mind, she made the decision to act as if they didn’t have the precious few moments they really had, and instead were already granted the lifetime they were going to have to work for. 

She decided that her fantasy could still involve them in the Falcon’s bed; that they could possibly live on the ship and explore the galaxy together when all this was over. Who knew? Maybe they’d even settle disputes together — Rey wouldn’t put it past them, they tended to be capable of a lot of things when they worked together. 

In that other life, they’d been happily married for a while, living peacefully together, and it was just the two of them. Occasionally Leia, Chewie, or maybe her friends from the Resistance would appear in her life, but other than that, the only person she really needed was Ben. She’d never been someone to need much, and he was more than enough for her. 

One day she could see the two of them withered by time; their hair would be gray and their faces wrinkled, but they would still look at each other exactly as they did now as they stood in the fading light of twin suns. It would still just be the two of them, exactly as she wanted it to be — exactly as it was  _ supposed  _ to be. 

A smile crossed her face in reality, and a tear streamed down her cheek that he reached up to tenderly wipe away, then she sighed, realizing that one day, that would all come to pass. There was one sole obstacle standing in their way, and they were about to face it down. Their life together was just that one step away, and she was ready to take it. 

“I should go,” Ben said after a while, then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “The longer I’m here the more of a chance they have to realize I’m gone. Dressing as a civilian and stealing an x-wing will only buy me so much time.”

She buried her face in his chest as she realized he was right, and nodded. “I’ll miss you.”

“If this goes our way, you won’t have to miss me for long.”

“I know, but… it feels like we just found each other again and now…” She let her voice trail off as she sat up in the bed, letting the sheets pool at her waist as she began searching the bunk for her clothes. “Now you’re being torn away again.”

“Last time it was you who left first, if memory serves,” Ben reminded her, then before she could protest, he rested a hand on her shoulder. “But I understand why. Neither of us had our memories and… we thought we were still adversaries.”

“And I got called away,” she replied, resting a hand over his. “I would’ve gone even if I weren’t still convinced I hated you. Just like you have to go now. At least we still have the bond.”

He hummed his assent. “At least.” He then removed his hand, and set about dressing himself. “And at least we have this.”

“It’s a lot more than some get,” Rey said, then they fell quiet as they dressed, not speaking another word until they looked exactly the same as they had when they’d wandered into the bunk, except slightly more disheveled. 

When they were fully dressed again, she struggled to meet his eyes, unsure if she could muster the strength to do it without feeling tears form in hers. If the emotions she was feeling through their bond were any indication, though, Rey wasn’t the only one in that position. In the next second, she felt her husband’s hands cup her face, then he leaned down, and kissed her again slowly. 

His latest kiss was explorative, as if he were observing every tiny detail of her lips while he kissed her, memorizing her in case it was the last time. If she were being honest, that wasn’t a terrible idea, and she soon followed suit, threading her fingers in his hair to memorize its texture. It was soft and smooth as always, and his waves felt magnificent to take her fingers through as she relearned how it felt to have his full lips caressing hers. 

Rey’s lungs eventually began to protest for oxygen, but she ignored that protest in favor of kissing him for a little longer. Her head started to spin, but she paid it no mind as she projected her feelings through the bond, and received his in turn. Both of them were desperate to stay, but couldn’t as much as they didn’t want to leave. 

But they were close, she reminded herself. They were so, incredibly close, and they just needed to overcome this one obstacle before they finally became free to live their lives. The reality she’d conjured for them was still out there, just waiting to be fulfilled. 

After she began to feel lightheaded, Rey finally pulled away, and rested her forehead against Ben’s. “So this is where we say goodbye, then?”

“No,” he replied, then before her confusion could filter into their connection, he pulled back to look her in the eyes. “Goodbye implies we won’t see each other again, and we will… we need something less permanent…”

“See you later?” she joked, then they both paused, realizing that was exactly what they were looking for. 

Ben nodded, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “See you later,” he replied in agreement, then he reached down and took one of her hands in his. “Walk me to my ship?”

She laced their fingers together. “Always.” Then the two of them walked out of the bunk, and back through the hallways of the Falcon, a strange, but good feeling settling over them both as they left the ship, then Rey led him over to the fire instead, where his mother and Rose were still waiting for them by the roaring fire. 

“No firewood?” Leia asked, her tone almost cheeky as she looked between her daughter in law and son. 

Rey’s cheeks flushed a special shade of crimson, then she shook her head. “No, we both decided we didn’t need it. Took the time to…  _ talk…  _ instead.”

The general’s eyes widened for a brief second, then she nodded. “I’m sure,” she replied, then she turned to her son. “I’m guessing the reason you’re here is to say goodbye.”

Ben’s stare fell to the ground, unable to look at her as he nodded his silent confirmation. “If I stay longer, the risk of all this ending before it begins gets too high.”

“Indeed,” his mother replied, then Ben let go of Rey’s hand, and the two stepped forward, meeting in the middle in a still slightly awkward, but  _ almost  _ comfortable looking embrace. She whispered something unintelligible in her son’s ear, then they parted, bowing their heads for a fraction of a second before Ben was making his way back over to his wife’s side. 

His hand slipped into hers, and she felt it in the force more than saw with her eyes that he was ready to go as much as he didn’t want to. He was at least prepared for them to separate for the time being, and as their fingers laced together again, she realized she was, too. 

Together, they turned and made their way toward Ben’s stolen x-wing, and Rey didn’t let go of his hand until he had to climb up into the cockpit. They shared a brief, very fleeting kiss goodbye, but it didn’t grow as deep as their kisses tended to. They’d already had a good and solid final kiss in the Falcon, and that memory was going to be enough until the next time they saw one another, she decided, whether it was through the force or physically face to face. 

Watching him climb into the cockpit was harder than she’d initially thought, but backing away so that he could take off without causing her harm was even harder.  _ Kriff _ , she wished they had more time. It wasn’t fair that they’d only been granted a few hours together, but already even that was more than she’d ever hoped they’d get. As she watched Ben’s x-wing rise up through Crait’s atmosphere and out of sight, she found herself extraordinarily grateful for those hours, no matter how small of a chunk of time they consumed. 

It wasn’t until he was gone that she noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks, and she hurriedly wiped them away before turning to face Leia and Rose, who were looking at her with concern in their eyes. The latter of the two stepped forward, looking prepared to open her arms to Rey if she decided she needed them, but she shook her head. “I’m fine, but thanks.” She wasn’t, but they didn’t have time for her to be anything  _ but  _ fine. 

The General looked skeptical, but said nothing to contradict her statement. “We need to get out of here, too,” Leia said the moment she got the emotional all clear from Rey. “If he gets caught the Order may trace his flight path back to this base.”

“Agreed,” Rey replied, then she gestured to the still burning fire. “Rose, let’s put this out then get back home.”

A smile crossed the young woman’s face. “Sounds perfect.” 

With that, the two women set about dousing the fire while Leia retreated into the Falcon with BB-8 at her side. Rey pretended not to notice the odd mix of delight and sorrow warring within the general as she and Rose scattered the remains of the fire, burying them beneath the planet’s white salt crystals as curious vulptices watched them through hauntingly ice blue eyes. 

“So… you were gone for a while…” Rose observed as they made their way back onto the Falcon. 

A laugh escaped Rey, and she remained silent until she closed the Falcon’s ramp, a few stray salt crystals sliding noisily into the hallway as they prepared the ship for takeoff. “Yes, I was,” she answered casually — but perhaps  _ too  _ casually — as the two headed for the cockpit. 

“You gonna tell me what happened?” Rose asked, then she flinched at her own question. “I mean, if you want to. If you’re comfortable? I don’t want you to tell me anything you’re not okay with sharing.”

Rey stared off into space as they walked through the cockpit door, then she closed it behind them, and took the pilot’s seat. “I’m fine with sharing, I promise,” she said as Rose sank down into the seat beside hers, and the two women began a series of pre-flight checks. “But I think you’ll want me to omit a few details.”

Rose’s hand slammed down into her armrest. “You kriffing did it, didnt you? You and Kyl—  _ Ben  _ — you and Ben —?”

Shushing her hurriedly, Rey began the sequence to bring the Falcon into the air. “Keep your voice down,” she whispered. “I’m sure Leia knows, but… kriff I’d rather his  _ mother  _ knew as little as possible about what happened in the bunk.”

“ _ In the bunk?” _

Her cheeks flushed a spectacular shade of pink at this. “Yes, in the bunk.”

Rose stifled another giggle, then as they brought the Falcon out of the hangar and into open space, her tone grew more serious. “What was it like?”

“Terrifying at first,” Rey admitted, remembering the emotional journey that their first —and only so far — time had been. “And then… wonderful. We… we were both so scared, but… midway through we realized that we had each other, and there wasn’t truly anything to fear. After that it was just a little awkward, then… I don’t know how to describe it other than I’m never going to feel that way with anyone else.”

Rose fell quiet for a moment, then as they broke through the edge of Crait’s atmosphere, she swallowed. “Whatever that feeling was… it was good?”

For a fraction of a second, Rey spared her a glance, then she smiled. “It was amazing, and I’m glad it happened, even if we were cut a bit short.”

“I’m happy for you, too,” Rose replied, then the two women put their focus ahead of them for a moment, bringing the Falcon safely into lightspeed before they continued their conversation. “So… I’m curious now…?”

“What about?”

“Was he… you know…” Rose gestured vaguely. 

“Was he what?”

The mechanic beside her bit her lip, then gestured again, this time to her groin. “Was he b—?”

“ _ Rose! _ ” Rey cried, blinking away her surprise at the other woman’s question while her co-pilot laughed helplessly into oblivion. 

“Well, was he?”

She covered her ears for a moment, drowning out Rose’s laughter until it died down, then when she was least expecting it, Rey bit her lower lip. “Yes.”

All that did was send Rose into a renewed fit of laughter as Rey’s face flushed another shade of red that would rival her husband’s lightsaber. It felt like ages before her giggles finally subsided into silence, and her co-pilot grew sober once more. “In all seriousness… I’m happy for you,” she said. “Despite the odds… I saw you two together. You’ve found something most of us only dream about… the stuff of legend.”

Rey gave her a weak smile. “Thanks. I just hope we get to live it.”

“You will. Our plan’s going to work, and you’re going to get him back…” Rose told her. “I promise.”

Settling back into the seat, Rey could only hope her friend was right, but as the time began to pass and they drew closer and closer to home, that sinking feeling of dread she’d first felt in the afterglow of her first time with Ben began to show its ugly face again. She wasn’t sure what was causing it, but she had the overwhelming feeling something was about to go terribly wrong. 

As they traversed hyperspace, Rey reached out into the force, sensing ease through her connection with Ben. For now, he was safe, and everything was still going according to plan. Perhaps she was just anxious, and the feeling stemmed from a lack of absolute certainty that everything would be fine. It had to be fine if she couldn’t sense where things had gone astray, right?

Still no matter what she did, Rey couldn’t shake that feeling completely. It stayed with her, haunting her in the depths of her soul as they crossed the halfway mark of their journey, and Rose allowed herself to doze of. She gave her sleepy co-pilot a grim smile, then she stared ahead at the blue streaks of stars wandering past. After all, she’d been the one to sleep on the journey there, her dreams full of hope and Ben… she wondered what she’d dream about now. 

Several hours of silence later, they arrived at the base in the dead of night, parking the ship in its spot in the hangar as silently as they could before they disembarked, and began making their ways back into the bunks. At least, Rey, Rose, and BB-8 did — Leia began heading off elsewhere before her daughter in law stopped her, putting a hand on the older woman’s arm. “Aren’t you going to sleep?” she asked, watching Rose and BB-8 make their way down the hall together out of the corner of her eye. 

Leia shook her head. “I don’t think I’d be able to, and I have a lot to do. Best not waste time trying and failing to sleep all night when I can be putting together more resources to help my son.”

“That sounds fair,” Rey replied, then she let her hand fall to her side, and cleared her throat. “Good night then, General.” She then turned to go, making her way back into the bunk when Leia spoke again. 

“Rey?” she asked softly, taking a few steps forward. 

“Yes?”

“Thank you for bringing my son back to me.”

She gave the other woman a faint chuckle. “It wasn’t me,” she assured her. “Not most of it… no, Ben wanted to come back on his own.”

“Maybe so, but you made him realize it. So, thank you.”

Rey took in a shaky breath at the General’s words, then for once instead of denying them, she allowed herself to accept the praise, and bowed her head. “I’d do it again, a thousand times over.”

“I know. Good night, Rey.”

“You too,” she replied, then at long last, Rey made her way down the hall toward the bunks, though now that she was thinking about it, she wasn’t particularly exhausted herself. No, Rey wasn’t very tired, she was more hungry than anything. The meal she’d shared by the fire with Leia and Rose had been burnt off by the time she’d shared with Ben on the Falcon, and already she could feel her stomach growling for more. 

It would seem that since joining the Resistance, her once mighty tolerance for starvation had gone down. 

The commissary always opened just before dawn, and as she passed a nearby window, she noticed the horizon was already starting to turn grey. She’d arrived just in time for breakfast to be served.  _ Perfect.  _ With that in mind, she made her way over to the commissary instead. 

As was normal at this hour of the day, it was empty for the most part. A few early risers were scattered here and there in the rows upon rows of tables and chairs, but the place was still overwhelmingly silent. The only noises she could hear belonged to the droids they scooped food onto her plate and prepared her a cup of caf, and those sounds were absolutely deafening in the overwhelming quiet. 

The eerie, haunting vibe brought about by the silence did nothing to defeat her sense of impending doom. In fact, she found it made it worse as she began to peruse the aisles for the perfect place to sit. It wasn’t as if she had a shortage of options, but as unease settled over Rey, she found herself unsure of her choices. 

Both fortunately and unfortunately, her mind was made up for her a few seconds later when she heard the tell-tale sound of BB-8 rolling up behind her, and she knew instantly why he was there. She turned around to face the droid, offering him a kind but brief upturn of the corners of her mouth before he began to roll over to the tables. Rey followed him until she found Poe Dameron shrouded in shadows in the corner, picking at his food as his droid approached. 

“Hey, Buddy,” he said quietly, reaching down a hand to scratch the droid’s round, little head. “Where’d you run off to?”

Rey found herself unable to hold back the giggle that burst forth from her upon hearing that, then Poe looked up, and offered her a grin full of that typical Dameron swagger he always carried about him. She really ought to have run, and taken her plate elsewhere to avoid confrontation with him before Leia had started making people around the base aware of their plan, but he’d already spotted her, and if he hadn’t, BB-8 would’ve made it obvious enough. 

Silently, Rey slipped off her wedding ring, and clutched it in her fist as she sat down in front of him, then she tucked it safely in the confines of her breast band when Poe was still distracted with providing affection to his droid. “What’s got you up this early?”

Poe shrugged. “Got restless, couldn’t sleep,” he admitted, then he continued picking at his food. “I don’t know… I just feel… I feel so useless cooped up in here. I haven’t had much to do since we got back from Cantonica.”

Oh, he’d have plenty to do soon enough. All he had to do was wait. Leia would likely start letting people in on her plans within hours, and Rey had no doubt that the bold commander would be one of the first to know. 

“I’m sorry,” she said out loud, not wanting to give away the plans before they were ready.

“There’s people dying out there under the Order’s hand,” Poe continued, looking genuinely concerned for the whole of the galaxy as he ran a hand through his dark hair. “And it feels like I’m just sitting here doing  _ nothing. _ ”

“Well, be careful what you wish for,” Rey told him, then she laughed nervously. “One day things will be null and void and the next it’ll all be too much.”

Poe tipped his caf to her. “Tends to be how war is, but  _ kriff _ I wish it wasn’t.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said quietly, then the two fell into a comfortable, but slightly tense silence. 

She wondered if the commander had noticed just how tense she was. After both Canto Bight missions he’d seemed to pick up on something being awry, especially after the first, when she’d still been reeling from the initial shock of finding out she had gotten married. Poe wasn’t a fool, but she’d somehow managed to keep him ignorant to the fact that she’d not only gotten married, but she’d married the enemy. Well, he wasn’t the enemy anymore, but he’d figure that out soon enough. Maybe after he’d had time to absorb and process that news she could tell him the truth about what had happened on Cantonica. 

Looking up at Poe now, she saw curiosity in his eyes, and anxiety undoubtedly filled hers as she returned his stare. “What?”

Poe pointed a finger at her. “There’s something different about you… but I’m not sure what it is yet.”

Laughing nervously, she shoved her mouth full of food so she could buy herself sometime to conjure up some sort of response. It would seem Poe was even smarter than she’d thought if he’d picked up on the massive life change she’d just gone through without her even remotely alluding to it. Her heart raced in her chest, but she managed to pull herself together as she swallowed her food. “Might be the eye bags, I haven’t been sleeping much lately.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. The last time she’d gotten sleep had been her power nap in the Falcon, and that had felt like a lifetime ago. Once she was finished eating, she was due for a nap in her bunk, and she was going to catch up on all the sleep she’d missed since she’d married Ben more than a week earlier. 

Poe smirked. “I’m sure it’s just the eye bags,” he teased, but he didn’t press her further. At least Poe seemed to recognize that whatever was going on with her was none of his business, and for that, she was grateful. 

All she gave him in response was a yawn, then she continued devouring her food as her companion for the morning changed the subject. “Do you think Finn would mind if I stole some food and brought it to his bunk?”

“I don’t think  _ anyone  _ would mind.”

“Yeah, I know, but… look, I’m well aware that I have a reputation as a big flirt and I’m good at charming people, but when it comes to an actual relationship? I have no clue what I’m doing. I don’t know if bringing someone breakfast is sweet or a sin.”

Rey laughed at this, then she scooped another bite of food onto her fork. “I don’t know much about them either,” she admitted, finding her statement hilarious given that she’d immediately wound up married the moment she’d gotten into one. For some, that may have been considered a colossal mistake, but not to her. What she had with Ben… she may not have known much about relationships, but she knew that theirs was  _ right.  _ “But I’m sure he’d love it.”

There was a gleam in his eye as he smiled at her. “I’m doing it then,” he said, then he began gathering what food he could stuff in his pockets, and prepared to leave. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you later,” she told him. 

Poe gave her another dashing smile before he stood up, and turned to BB-8. “Come on, Buddy, we’ve got work to do.”

With that, he and the droid made their way out of the commissary, leaving Rey to finish her meal in silence. Her anxiety left her the moment he did, and she slowly, casually finished the rest of her meal before she decided to retreat to the bunks to catch up on the sleep she desperately needed. 

The memories of what had happened on the Falcon with Ben played through her mind on a loop as she walked back into her bunk, and a stupid grin remained on her face even as the weight of it settled in. It was still consuming her thoughts as she began to undress, though she only slipped off the drapings, shoes, and leather belt before she crawled beneath her sheets, and allowed herself to succumb to sleep just minutes later. 

Her dreams turned back to Canto Bight after that, her mind supplying her vivid images of the night she’d remembered her wedding, of when she’d danced with Ben on the balcony and he’d willingly told her of his intentions to leave the order  _ before  _ he remembered what had happened when they’d married. She pictured them gliding across the deck while the city glowed in the background, but neither of them noticed. Both of them were too lost in each other to see what was going on in the outside world. The only detail of it that they paid attention to was the waltz that was playing softly in the background as they danced. 

That was a memory more than a dream, and she’d cherish it until the end of time. 

The next dream was actually a dream, since she knew that its events hadn’t come to pass. After all, as of right now, she knew for damn sure that she’d never embarked on a picnic of sorts with Ben, much less with Finn, Rose,  _ and _ Poe. Yet there she was, sprawled out on green grass with blue tips, her head in her husband’s lap while her hair splayed out over his gray trousers — not unlike the ones he’d worn to their meeting on Crait — and she laughed at a something Rose had told them. 

_ “That’s not true,”  _ she heard Ben say in response.  _ “Hux didn’t build the second Supremacy that large to destroy the Resistance.” _

Poe grinned at him wickedly.  _ “Then what did he build it for?” _

Ben’s initial response was a chuckle as he raised a champagne glass to his lips.  _ “Well, over the time I knew the general, I saw many things about him. Some great, some terrifying, and some…”  _ He pinched two fingers close together, but didn’t let them touch.  _ “Rather small.” _

A pause, then loud, booming laughter echoed through the group as they processed the implication of Ben’s statement, Finn and Poe collapsing into one another while Rose attempted to support herself on the former’s shoulder. This failed miserably, and all three fell to the ground in a heap of laughter as Ben and Rey clutched their aching sides. 

_ “Okay, Rey,”  _ Poe said as he recovered himself, helping first Finn then Rose to get back into sitting positions.  _ “You might’ve been right… Ben… welcome to the family. _ ” He held out his hand to the other man then, and Rey noticed his golden wedding ring shining in the light of three suns as he reached out to shake the commander’s hand. 

The two men smiled as they looked at one another, making Rey realize again that this was a dream, but a damn good one. It was a fantasy she could see becoming reality if everything went her way, and maybe one day she’d really be out there in a field beneath a sunny sky laughing amongst the people she loved most while the galaxy around them remained at peace. 

The dream made her feel good about what was to come next in her life, especially as she looked over to Finn and Poe’s entwined fingers, watching as the latter of the two looked at the former with love in his eyes. In this future, in this possible world, they all had happy lives, and seemingly lived them together, or at least in close proximity. They’d evidently forged a bond, and a damn good one if Poe was laughing and joking delightedly with the man he’d once known as Kylo Ren. 

Whatever had happened, Rey longed to see it, and she prayed to every god she didn’t believe in that someday she’d get to see that world — that someday she’d get to live this life, and so would all the friends she’d made in the Resistance.  _ So would Ben. _

But Rey had never been so fortunate with good dreams, and soon enough that laughter began to fade. It grew deeper and slower, seeming to echo off of walls she couldn’t see as the field faded away to the interior of a ship heading through the stars. 

Rather quickly, it became apparent to her that she was viewing her own dream through the eyes of the pilot, and not only that, but whoever she was was flying an x-wing down to a city bustling with life. Upon further inspection, her mysterious pilot — whoever’s vision she was watching this through — was steering past a familiar looking set of black ships, guiding her down toward an abandoned alleyway that was just wide enough to land a ship that small in. Still she held her breath until her pilot touched down, sighing only when he’d successfully crawled out of his ship, and landed on two steady feet on the ground. 

_ Ben,  _ her mind supplied her, and upon further inspection she realized she was indeed viewing another world through her husband’s eyes. Relief surged through her as she wondered where he was. Coruscant? Cantonica? Another planet beginning with C? She couldn’t quite tell. Rey still wasn’t terribly well traveled through the galaxy in spite of having left Jakku many months earlier. 

Either way, she didn’t care, she was just happy to see he’d landed safely and in one piece. The sight gave her hope as he dusted himself off, then made his way out of the alley, but before he disappeared from it entirely, he looked back once at his x-wing. Sorrow filled their bond as he looked at it, then he raised his hand, and she felt the force vibrate around him as the ship sparked, then exploded into a massive fireball she had no doubt would be seen for miles. 

As if she were there standing right beside him, Rey could feel the heat from the explosion on her face — his face? — before he turned, and made his way out of the alley. At least, she suspected that was his intent, since he only managed to complete that first thing before he nearly ran into a man not much shorter than himself and absolutely coated in black. A glance up found ginger hair that stood out starkly against the otherwise dark background, and confirmed his adversary’s identity.  _ Hux.  _

Rey felt Ben’s blood run cold as he stepped back, and she felt the heat on his back as his eyes went wide,, and his mind went into overdrive. Sheer panic filled the bond in the split second between when he’d been caught and that very moment, and she felt him crying out into their connection that he was in danger, warning her with all of his strength that something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. 

In that instant, she knew this was definitely not a dream. 

_ “Ren…” _ Hux breathed, then he almost laughed as he stepped forward.  _ “Seen anywhere interesting lately?” _

She felt Ben struggling against his own pain to formulate a reply, fighting anxiety for a moment before ultimately losing the battle, and deciding to fight his enemy with the force instead. At least, that seemed to be his intent, but before he could engage his general in a force chokehold, she felt white hot pain at the back of her skull, and Ben’s vision went black. 

The moment she felt his body hit the floor, Rey’s eyes snapped open, and she sat up bolt right in bed as she breathed hard, gripping her hair in her hands as she felt her husband’s signal for danger sputter out into nothing. She could still feel him in the force; he wasn’t dead, but he’d been rendered unconscious, and by someone working with Hux. He’d been caught, she realized, and she knew without the tiniest shred of doubt that the last thing she’d seen before waking up in her bed covered in a thin sheen of sweat hadn’t been a dream. No, that last bit was a terrifying, horrible reality. 

Ben had been caught. The Order knew they had been betrayed and had reacted accordingly, and Rey couldn’t help feeling like it was her fault. If they hadn’t delayed, if they had just waited a little while longer to consummate their marriage, he might have made it back on time, and the hours they spent plotting on Crait might not have been for nothing. Now her husband was in danger, taken hostage by the very side he’d once held command of, and their bond had been shut down to minor, faintly buzzing background noise by his unconscious state. 

Now their plan was over before it had even begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm so sorry_


	15. Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I UPPED THE COUNT AGAIN. Just stop trusting me, I swear it'll be done before 20 hopefully I don't change it again. HOPEFULLY. But my outline doesn't go beyond two more chapters, so unless I get some ideas. We're not doing more after 17... So this fic is coming to a close SOON.

The moment she processed what had happened, Rey threw back her sheets, and shoved her feet into her brown leather boots as quickly as she could, grabbing only a jacket to wear over her shirt before she stormed out into the hallway with a fury in her eyes unmatched by anyone she’d ever seen. Armitage Hux may have had the upper hand for the time being, but he was about to learn the true consequences of hurting the people she loved.

If memory served, Leia was off in the meeting room preparing to inform a select group of people of their plan to end the war, but Rey had slept for what she presumed to be several hours since then, if the sun’s western tilt was anything to go by. She had doubts that the General was actually still in there, but still it was the first place her brain had decided she was going to look. Technically her bunk was closer, but it was out of the way, and she didn’t have time to waste.

After all, how long would Hux keep Ben alive once he’d gotten whatever he needed out of him? She doubted he had long. Once her husband woke up from his unconscious state, she knew the General would struggle against his abilities with the force, and in an effort to avoid such a battle, he’d probably have him killed the moment he learned what his former comrade was truly up to.

If he did, Rey wasn’t entirely sure if she’d have enough restraint to keep from killing him on sight.

Her walk turned into a jog as she rushed through the base, nearly running into several people as she searched through the force to ensure her husband’s signature was still present. Relief surged through her that she could still feel it — could still feel _him_ — but he was completely unresponsive to her. She couldn’t feel even the slightest hint of emotion coming off of Ben, and that scared her more than anything.

Eventually, but after far too long, she came upon the meeting room door, and shoved it open without even thinking only to stumble upon an already slightly crowded room. A dozen or so people were already gathered around the table, and a holo-projection of Ben’s face was blown up in the center of it all, making her chest ache with longing as she looked at it, and the people in the room looked at her.

“Rey,” Leia’s voice said, and her attention snapped to her mother in law as she began to catch her breath. “I had just sent Rose to look for you.”

“You should com her to come back here immediately,” Rey replied, walking forward until she was standing next to the General, not becoming aware of Finn and Poe’s presence at her side until she was nearly upon them. When she saw him, her initial reaction was to freeze, putting herself completely on pause for a few seconds before she moved again. “Do… _they_ know?”

“That we intend to rescue Kylo Ren? Yes.” The look in her eyes assured Rey that no, Poe did not know she was married to Ben Solo, and for the time being, her secret was safe. At the moment, the last thing they needed was the commander learning she’d married him and possibly reacting poorly to the news.

“I still don’t know how much we can trust him,” Poe said, interrupting the conversation. “But if he’s genuine in offering us a way out… I’ll take it… I don’t care who he is.”

The General nodded. “And I’m glad to hear that, commander.” She turned to Rey. “What brought you here, though, if it wasn’t Rose?”

She froze again, unsure how to explain that she’d essentially dreamt what had happened through the bond that Poe and the majority of the base didn’t know about, and searched hurriedly for a better story to explain how she knew about her husband’s fate. “I… I received a transmission from… from Kylo.” _Kriff,_ it hurt to say that name now. Just weeks ago it had been uncomfortable, but easy to say, and now that Ben felt like home… she couldn’t find anything else she thought suited him properly. “He said he was in danger, that they’d… that they’d found him.”

Emotions welled within her at those last words, but she held them down, not allowing the tears that wanted so desperately to flow to have their moment in the sun in front of everyone she knew. Luckily, though, Leia seemed to sense her struggle, and through the look she gave her, Rey knew she understood what had really happened. “Then the mission’s changed.” She turned to face the table, then she cleared her throat. “This is now a rescue mission… your primary focus is now going to be on finding and locating where the First Order’s main ship is, and then locating the former supreme leader.” Unease came off of the General in waves at addressing her son as such, but she didn’t show any of it in her composure. No, any emotion she dared to give away was projected into the force, picked up only by Rey.

“You have a comlink with Kylo Ren?” Poe asked, blinking at her disbelievingly. “How the hell do you have a comlink with—“

“We set it up when we met on Crait. Leia entrusted me with it,” Rey answered him, though she was fairly certain her face was as red as a tomato and the lie was audible in her voice. “And he and I came to… understand each other while we were there, so I told him to com me if he ran into trouble…” She looked between Leia and Rose to confirm her story, and both women nodded. “And he did. He got cut off mid-transmission…” She nearly lost control of her emotions again as she spoke. “I don’t know what they’ve done to him, but he risked his life to try and help us…”

“Indeed.” Leia pressed a button on the holoprojection, minimizing the image of him at the center of the table. “Let’s get to work.”

With that, she watched as the General, Poe, and what remained of the Resistance’s high command begin to work out a plan right in front of them. Everyone else in the room, including herself, Poe, Finn, and eventually Rose when she returned listened intently, butting in only when necessary as the talk dragged on through the hours — precious hours she wasn’t entirely sure Ben had.

By the time they were alerted to the fact that dinner was being served in the commissary, a location team — which placed their bets on Ben being taken on board a newer version of the Supremacy that had been built at the same time as the first, the Order’s new pride and joy — and a small extraction team had been selected to retrieve Ben from the order. The latter team was the very same one that had gone into Cantonica days earlier, and would be lead by Leia from the base.

At first Rey had wanted the General to come with them, but Poe had pointed out the risk of bringing out the Resistance’s General in case the mission went wrong, and she’d conceded the idea was a bad one. Thus it was just the four of them. Or rather, it was going to be just them when the mission finally left ground early the next morning, and Rey had never been more restless.

When they were finally dismissed from the meeting, Rey prepared to make a beeline for the training room, ready to lose herself completely to lightsaber forms, but she was held back when she heard Poe’s voice calling out her name. For the third time that day, she became motionless. “Can you hang back a second?” he asked as everyone else began to file out of the room.

Rey paused, anxiety filling her veins as she locked eyes with her friend, then she looked briefly back to the room’s exit, where Finn and Rose were looking at her expectantly. She flashed them a smile she hoped looked believable, not wanting her friends to see how distressed she was, too. No one else needed to know about her internal struggle except for her. “Go on, I’ll be fine.”

Rose looked skeptical. “Meet us in the commissary when you’re done?”

“Yeah, sure.” Then her friends gave each other nervous glances, and Finn placed a hand on Rose’s back as they made their way out of the room. Once they were gone, she turned back to Poe, and crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s going on?”

Poe pressed his lips together then, his usually goofy demeanor giving way to something more serious. He sighed, shaking his head before he finally spoke. “I’ve suspected something’s been up with you for weeks… but I brushed it off as just wartime stress… cause who here isn’t feeling a bit of that?” He chuckled to himself, but Rey was slowly feeling her heart race faster and faster. “I couldn’t help but notice when you were talking to the General…” He stepped forward, looking down to where her hand grasped her arm — in specific, to where her _left_ hand grasped her arm. _Oh shit._ “Rey…”

She hid her arm behind her back, but they both knew it was too late for that. He had seen the ring, and he knew what such a thing meant. Rey was married, and she’d been to Canto Bight twice in the last two weeks. Two and two equaled four, and Rey plus ring plus Canto Bight equaled a wedding. It wasn’t hard to put together what had happened, but _kriff_ if she wasn’t mad at herself for being so careless. She’d just been so worried about getting the news of Ben’s capture out as quickly as possible she hadn’t considered the biggest part of hiding her secret, and that was keeping her wedding ring out of sight in public.

_Kriff._

“I can explain,” she protested, then she sighed. “But I’d prefer not to.”

“Rey, I’m not mad,” he replied with a laugh, which confused her at first, but then she realized he didn’t yet know the identity of her husband. Of course he wasn’t angry; he didn’t know the man she married was someone he hated. “I’m just a little curious about who and why you haven’t annulled it yet.”

She winced at the mention of annulment, but he was right to bring it up. Anyone in their right mind would annul a Canto Bight wedding immediately. At least, they would if they didn’t genuinely love their partner, but Rey fell into that lucky group that actually found the one person they wanted to spend their lives with, and thus that marriage would be annulled only by death.

The realization that she was at a dead end came to her very quickly. He’d find out soon enough that she was married to Ben anyways, and keeping this secret was adding to the stress that was already making her feel as if she were losing it. With that in mind, Rey closed her eyes, and began to tell Poe the truth, or at least some of it. “I haven’t annulled it yet because…” She took in a deep breath. “I love him.”

He blinked at her in disbelief. “You love him? Some stranger you met on Cantonica?” Rey’s silence gave him another clue as to the identity of the man she’d married, and Poe softened. “You already knew him before the wedding.”

“I did,” she replied, then she prepared herself to tell him the truth of who she’d married. “I met—“

Poe put up a hand. “Rey, I’m not force sensitive, but I can literally feel how uncomfortable you are from the way you’re standing,” he said, then he laughed. “Just tell me whoever you married is on our side, and I’ll leave it alone for now. We’ve got a mission to focus on.”

Surprise filled her, but she nodded, thinking over her answer to even that simple yes or no question for a few seconds. Sure, Ben was the Supreme Leader until just a few hours ago, but he’d been on her side for a good bit longer than that. Telling Poe that the person she married was in the Resistance wasn’t entirely a lie. “Yeah, he is…”

Poe looked at her disbelievingly. “You don’t have to lie to me,” he said. “I can handle the truth.”

“It’s not your business to know.”

“It is if it interferes with my mission.”

“It doesn’t,” she growled, her desire to keep his identity secret reignited out of spite.

“Then who is he?” Poe asked. “As your commander… I need to know.”

“As your _friend_ I’m asking you not to make me tell you this.” She stepped forward, seeming to leer over him despite being just a little shorter than he was. The height difference between the two seemed colossal all of a sudden, and Poe took a step back, putting his hands up as he went.

“Okay.” He let his hands fall to his hips, then he cocked his head to the side curiously. “Who else knows about this? It’s been more than a week since that first mission. There’s no way you could’ve hidden this alone.”

“That’s a bold assumption for you to make, but you’re right,” Rey told him, then she inhaled shakily. “Finn and Rose both know.”

“ _Finn?”_ Disbelief and a tiny hint of betrayal leaked into the commander’s voice, then he scoffed. “Does he know _who_ you married as well?”

Rey paused, then slowly nodded. “Yes, but… it’s not his secret to tell.” She stepped forward, considering taking her friend’s hand for a moment before deciding against it. “Don’t be angry with him.”

“I’m not.” He took another step back, running one hand through his hair while the other reached behind him to feel for where the projector table he was about to lean on was behind him. “I just —“ At that moment, Poe’s hand found purchase on the table, but as if he’d summoned it through the force, his hand landed on a button, and once again, her husband’s face was on full display above the table. The commander turned around upon hearing the whirring noise that indicated the machine was turning on, then his eyes narrowed as he looked at the image of Ben Solo.

Both Poe and Rey stopped moving, stopped breathing for several seconds as they stared at the image before them, then the former of the two looked back at her, watching her face shift as she recognized the image. She knew the split second when he put her reaction and her wedding ring together by the subtle shift in his features. His eyes widened, his jaw fell open slightly, and his breathing staggered for a second as he exhaled. “Him?”

“Yeah… it’s… it’s him…”

“Rey… you… you…” He paused for another several seconds, seeming to gather his thoughts again before he came to a realization. “You know who he really is, don’t you? That’s why you married him?”

Shock filled her upon hearing that, and she walked toward him again. “ _I_ know who he is?” She pressed a finger into Poe’s chest. “How do _you_ know who he is?”

“I’m Leia’s right hand man…” he said, then he shrugged his shoulders. “At least, I am now that half our command is dead… no thanks to _him_.”

Rey stepped back, then she gathered her emotions. “He’s been trying to end it. Didn’t you listen to a word she said during that meeting?” She pointed to the picture of her husband. “Ben Solo is the reason we haven’t been attacked in the last few months, he’s the reason why we’re succeeding at recruiting new people, why we’re not all dead. I know he has flaws… I am well aware of the mistakes he’s made… but I also know he’s trying to atone for them… It’s why we thought about getting married in the first place, to protect him…” She paused, wincing at herself for a second before continuing with, “That and far too much alcohol.”

He got a bit of a chuckle out of that, then Poe crossed his arms over his chest. “I listened… but that doesn’t mean I trust him. I’m gonna have to see it for myself… I’m gonna have to see he’s changed… then I’ll consider it.”

That was a better reaction than she’d been expecting, but still she felt tension in the air between them. He’d all but told her he wasn’t angry, but that didn’t mean he was going to let her go easily. “What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you hate this,” she said plainly. “I can see it in your eyes. What are you going to do?”

A silence passed over them, creating a thoroughly awkward atmosphere between them as he thought through his response to her question. “Nothing,” Poe breathed after a while. “We have this mission in not even a day… and…” His eyes gained a haunted look to them, but she didn’t know what he was seeing until he spoke again. “I… I remember what happened the last time I went against orders.”

Sympathy rushed through her as she watched him, knowing just how much the commander blamed himself for all that had happened that fateful day they’d fought the First Order on Crait. She’d only heard most of the story after it had happened, but still understood the gravity of it. Poe’s guilt ran deep beneath all his layers of charm and charisma, he was no different from the other soldiers who woke up screaming from nightmares of those he lost. His flirty demeanor was just a cover.

“So… no, I won’t do anything… It’s just… it’s not worth it,” he finally muttered, then he looked up at her. “I… For once I’m gonna wait and see how this plays out… But this does make me concerned about you.”

“How?”

“If you love him, and you’re married… It complicates things. Your judgement could be clouded because of your emotional attachmen-”

Rey stopped him before he even thought of the end of that sentence. “I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me. Just focus on getting us all out of there alive, commander.”

A slight grin appeared on Poe’s face as he uncrossed his arms. “You’re calling me commander now?”

She turned away from him, and began to make her exit from the room. “Don’t let it get to your head, _Poe_.”

Another laugh came out from behind her. “Where are you going?”

“I promised Finn and Rose I’d meet them in the commissary,” she told him, stopping near the door, and turning back to face him. “Come with me?”

Poe hesitated a second, then he gave her a nod. “Sure,” he replied, then he gestured down to her left hand. “But hide your ring. You don’t want the whole base knowing before you’re ready.”

“Right, sorry.” She quickly removed the ring, and placed it securely in the pocket of her jacket, then as the two walked out into the hallway, she sighed. “I meant to put it away before I walked in there, but… I just… heard the com and I forgot…”

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s better we had that conversation in there rather than on the mission,” Poe pointed out.

“Fair enough,” she mumbled, then the two made their way to the commissary quietly, both still thinking over the conversation they’d had in the meeting room. It was a comfortable silence instead of tense, and she was grateful for that as they walked down the hall together. All this time she’d been so panicked about what would happen if Poe knew, but now… Perhaps it was the timing more than anything else, but she was relieved he knew and that he’d taken it so well. It was certainly better than she was expecting.

As they made their way into the commissary, Poe turned his eyes on her. “Do you want them to know that I know?”

“I’m alright with that,” she promised him, then she tugged on his arm. “Let’s just go.”

“Okay.” Then they walked inside, waving to Finn and Rose where they sat at a nearby table as they made their way in, and walked over to the line to get their food.

A few minutes later, the four were once again sharing a meal, albeit a very awkward one. It was clear from the looks on Rose and Finn’s faces that they hadn’t quite been expecting Poe to join them, especially when a few seconds into the odd quiet, he announced that he knew what they were hiding. “Rey told me your secret.” He looked up at them, watching their panicked eyes become wide as they looked first at each other, then at him. “I want to make it clear that I’m not angry with either of you, I just need to reiterate how crucial it is that no one else on this base knows about it aside from the four of us.”

Finn was the first to formulate a response a few seconds later. “Trust me, we won’t say a word.” He took a sip of his drink, then locked eyes with Rey. “I’m better than I look at keeping things quiet.”

“I’ve literally hidden her last name from sight,” Rose said, then she froze. “Wait, now that everything’s out in the open, am I still not allowed to talk about that?”

“Well, it’s out in the open now…” Rey grumbled, then she took another bite of her food before she looked at Poe, who was nodding in understanding.

“So that’s how you kept it hidden for so long, huh?”

“Yeah…” She bit her lip nervously. “We figured it was for the best until all of this was over.”

The commander made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cough. “Yeah, you’re probably right…” he said, then he changed the subject. “With this in mind… we need to talk about tomorrow’s mission. If this goes south… we need to be prepared.” His chest rose and fell with another breath before he continued. “Leia’s got a team working out the First Order’s exact location, as you all know, but my best bet… and I’ve been thinking about this since she brought it up… is that they’re on the new Supremacy. Why they kept that name after what happened to the old one? I don’t know, but Hugs can make his own bad decisions and I’ll leave him to it.”

They shared a laugh at this, then Poe grinned, and carried on. “It’s just a matter of figuring out exactly where in the galaxy the ship is… But I’d also bet it’s not too far from Crait… if they captured Kylo Ren… they probably got his former location off of him.”

“No, he’s still unconscious,” Rey blurted out before she could stop herself, then she paused, realizing there was no way she should be able to know this if she didn’t have some sort of connection to him beyond their marriage. Apparently, that day was going to make a liar out of her. “I… I just a feeling…”

“Through the force or something?”

Technically, yes. “Yeah, something like that,” she said, then she rested a hand on the table. “I don’t think Hux knows where he came from… and Kylo didn’t mention where he was before he met us there… so I doubt Crait will be of any assistance in finding them.”

At this, Finn shrugged. “Well… it’s not like they’re secretive about where they are. They’re the ones ruling the galaxy. They’re loud about it because they view us as a minor threat. We may have to hide our location from them…” He pointed a finger in Poe’s direction. “But they don’t have to hide theirs from us.”

Poe grinned at his partner then, and she saw something in his eyes she’d seen in Ben’s whenever he looked at her. The same love she felt between them, she could see in the eyes of her friends as the commander’s smile lit up the room. “You make a great point,” he said. “The team the general has working on this will probably find it within hours. We’ll know where they are by the time we leave tomorrow morning.”

“Good,” Rey replied, then she gripped her fork particularly tightly in her fist. “Then we’ll give them hell.”

“Not too much hell,” Rose pointed out. “This is just a rescue mission. We need to be in and out before anyone notices we’re there. For all we know… They still have the ability to track us through hyperspace.”

“Rose is right. We’ll come out of hyperspace midway through the journey back, hang out there a minute, see if we’re being followed, and if not… we’ll keep going.” Poe pressed his palms against the table. “And no matter what happens… We stick together. I’m not losing anyone else.”

“Agreed,” the other three said in unison, then Poe leaned back.

“Eat up, you’ll need plenty of energy for tomorrow. I don’t think we’ll be able to have much time to eat aside from whatever we left in the Falcon’s storage.”

Rey cocked her head in surprise. “We’re taking the Falcon?”

“It’s the best ship we have at the moment, and that’s saying something,” the commander said. “It’ll get the job done before they even have the chance to recognize it.” The other three nodded, then Poe gestured to his food again. “Enjoy your last meals, guys.”

Nervous laughter sounded from the group as they dug in, and each and every one of them ate their food as slowly as was humanly possible. All of them were distracted, scared of the mission that was to come in a way that was appetite killing. What they were going to do the next day was phenomenally dangerous. They were going to go into the belly of the beast, and there was a good chance they wouldn’t be coming back out… much less _alive._

Beyond hoping that she’d find Ben still breathing when they reached the Supremacy II the next day, she hoped that she, Finn, Rose, and Poe would make it out as well. Rey wasn’t sure what she’d do if she lost one of them, even if things between herself and her commander were a little tense at the moment. They’d resolve everything soon enough, and his friendship meant enough to her that she’d be gutted to lose him the same way she’d hurt to lose anyone else.

Until the meal ended nearly an hour later, she wished with all her might for them to make it out safely, for everyone to survive to see another day. To survive until they were able to live out the picnic from the dream she’d had before she saw what had become of her husband. Maybe if she tried hard enough, they’d succeed on sheer force of will alone.

That night, Rey laid in bed restlessly, staring up at the ceiling of her bunk as she searched through the force about every two minutes to make sure Ben was still alive. Each time she did so, he was still breathing, but she grew more and more worried with every attempt she made to check in on him that she would find nothing on the other side of their bond.

It was on her twentieth check in — she’d been counting them — that she finally felt something new. Ben’s emotions were swirling with confusion, and her heart raced as she realized he was waking up. Fear coursed through her veins as she recalled what that meant, that they were ready to interrogate him, that he was soon going to run his usage into the ground, and Hux would kill him, but then she felt something else.

A sharp pain felt like it was splitting her head open as she focused in on Ben’s force signature, and she cried out briefly as she clutched her skull in her hands, feeling as if she wanted to scream until the ache faded away a few minutes later, and she was left panting on her mattress. _What the hell was that?_

Feeling out through the force again, she realized that Ben had once again been rendered unconscious, and likely through the same method they’d used to knock him out on whatever planet he’d landed his x-wing on. Disappointment and relief both warred within her again, and she got the feeling that those conflicting emotions were going to have to be something she got used to until she had him in her arms.

At least this meant they were keeping him alive and not killing him — she certainly hoped that was the case — she couldn’t allow herself to consider any other possibility. She’d never be able to sleep if she did, and so she forced herself to believe that Ben was as safe as he could be, then she leaned her head back against her pillow, yawning as she rolled onto her side, and closed her eyes. It was far past time for her to sleep, and the mission was going to be stressful enough _without_ her exhaustion.  

Yawning again, Rey slowly sank into sleep, her breathing growing even and all sound going quiet around her as she fell deep into her dreams. The shift from reality to whatever world her brain had conjured up was almost immediate, and much too fast to be considered normal. She never noticed the passage of time in her sleep, but that night, she did. Within seconds of her brain switching from awake to asleep, she opened her eyes in a cold, black room shrouded in silver fog. _The colors of a nightmare._

In the dream, she was still wearing the clothing she’d worn to Crait and the original Supremacy, and she was walking across a hard floor she couldn’t see through all the fog that surrounded her. It almost seemed to stretch out infinitely in all directions, but then she turned around, catching sight of a door about twenty feet away that had light seeping through the cracks in the door frame. Almost immediately, she decided to go through it, and within seconds she was shoving it open through the force, running into a familiar room that also tended to haunt her dreams, and also had nightmarish — but much more vivid — colors.

Snoke’s throne room looked exactly as it had the last time she’d seen it, shrouded in red everywhere except the floors and rear wall, and where the curtains were still burning, creating a gentle but steady rain of fire as they smoldered on the far side of the room. Near the throne she saw Ben’s silhouette coated in black, and surrounded by a halo of embers as they rained down near him, but by some miracle managed to never touch her husband as he stood there staring at the throne like he had the day she’d tried to bring him back.

He wasn’t ready back then, but now…

 _“Ben?”_ she called softly, and he slowly turned around to face her, looking exactly like he did when they’d fought together for the first time. Only now he was almost smiling at her as his eyes settled over her form, the look he gave her appreciative as he took a step toward her. _“Ben, are you alright?”_

He paused then, looking at her curiously as he spoke, _“You didn’t say that last time.”_

_“What?”_

_“The last time we were here. You just said my name…”_ He took another step forward, then he reached for the fingers of his own glove, laughing to himself as he took it off, then moved to do the same to the other one, chucking them both aside while he scoffed. _“But I guess this is a dream… Things can change in dreams.”_

 _“They can,”_ she assured him, then she shook her head. _“But this is my dream. Why the hell would you say that unless—”_

They both froze, realization dawning over them at the same time that this was no dream. Or rather, it was no ordinary dream. _“This is real,”_ they said at the same time, then slowly, smiles began to develop on their faces, and Rey wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but by the time they stopped, she was in his arms, being spun around like she’d wanted him to do the last time they saw one another in this throne room.

 _“Rey…”_ he breathed, and she felt him pressing kisses along the sides of her face almost desperately as he held her tightly, not even bothering to put her down as his lips drew closer to hers. _“Rey, Rey, Rey…”_ There was almost a sob in his voice as he spoke, she could hear it in the way he said her name like it meant so many other things he was trying to say. _I love you. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m alive._

 _“Ben,”_ she breathed, then he was kissing her properly, setting her down on the ground to deepen the kiss, bending her back a little at the waist as his hands searched over her body, ensuring to himself that she was truly fine.

As had become practice in all their kisses thus far, Rey buried her fingers into his hair, pressing him against her fiercely as she kissed him with as much relieved vigor as he was kissing her. _Kriff_ she had never been more happy to see him, or more glad that he was alive in general. If she weren’t busy sweeping her tongue into his mouth, she would’ve smiled into the kiss, but it was a welcome distraction as he allowed her access, meeting her in the middle as they straightened themselves.

They stayed like that for another minute, reveling in the gift their dream had given them through the bond even in spite of the time they knew they didn’t have. The force had never been kind to them before, and there was no reason for it to do so now. There were important things for them to talk about, and they didn’t have time to waste.

With that in mind, Rey pulled back, pressing one little brief kiss to his lips before she pulled back from him entirely, gripping his forearms in her hands as his came up to hold her elbows, and she caught a brief glimpse of his smile as he stared at her. _“We don’t have much time…”_ she said, then she laughed at herself. _“I… I don’t know how much we have, but we can’t risk it. We need to talk first and… I don’t know maybe… maybe repeat Crait later.”_

Ben managed a small giggle at that — _oh, how she loved his laugh_ — and nodded. _“I don’t know how much there is to tell you. I’ve been out.”_ He ran a hand through his hair, distress showing on his face as he spoke. _“But last I checked we were a hundred light years from Crait. Not far by hyperspace standards… but for all I know we could be moving.”_

 _“We’re trying to track you down, we leave on a rescue mission in the morning.”_ She shifted her hands up until she was caressing his cheeks, then she brought his forehead down to meet hers. _“Ben… I need you to hold on until I can get there.”_

_“I’ll try.”_

_“How’d they catch you? Do you know? Did they say anything?”_

_“No, but I think they knew from the beginning, they were just waiting for me to get back… Rey… they caught me the minute I landed.”_ He swallowed dryly. _“I was a dead man from the minute I left.”_

 _“Don’t say that.”_ She paused, then she gathered herself, and pressed her lips together for a few seconds. _“Ben… You’re not going to die, I promise. We’re coming for you… for now… just tell me everything you can about the ship… about where’s the safest place to hide ours…”_

He nodded. _“I’ll tell you anything,”_ he told her, then they pulled apart, and sat down on the ground amidst the still falling embers from the fire that didn’t seem to want to stop burning, and he told her everything he knew.

Somehow, the bond held through their conversation, allowing them the time to talk through what felt like hours as they discussed the details of the new Supremacy and how her team would get in and grab him. He had bets on where he was being held, but no certain location. That prospect frightened her a little, but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to check every single one of those places. She was going to find him, and that was all that mattered.

By the time they finished going over all the small details of their plan, they’d been together for far longer than the force usually allowed them, but it was a dream, and time passed differently in there. For all she knew, it had only been five minutes since she had walked into that room and kissed him senseless. She sighed as they sat side by side, the distant crackling of the fire from the ever burning curtains filling the silence between them. _“How long do you think we have?”_

 _“I don’t know…”_ he said quietly. _“I don’t want to think about it…”_

 _“Neither do I…”_ As an idea formed in her mind, she felt a hint of anxiety plant a seed within her soul, but ignored it, able to tamper it down after what had happened on Crait. _“But if we have time… even a little bit of it… we shouldn’t waste it.”_

 _“No… we shouldn’t…”_ he replied, then he rested a hand on her jaw, his bare fingers brushing over her skin. _“Rey…”_

_“Come here.”_

_“Are you su—?”_

She didn’t let him get another word in. Instead, she surged forward, taking his face in her hands as her lips crashed down over his. The kiss was messy, involving a bit more clashing of teeth than was normal for them, but neither one seemed to care. They didn’t have time to for all they knew, and so they kissed like it was their last moments of life.

Not a second later, Ben’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his lap, but not breaking the kiss as she adjusted in their new position, letting her legs fall on either side of his hips so that she was straddling him while they kissed. Only once she was perfectly settled did she even consider breaking away, and when she did she looked down at him for a few seconds, taking in the sight of her husband’s kiss swollen lips and hooded eyes as she brushed a piece of his hair from his face.

Neither of them said anything, they just let a second pass in the form of an hour as they stared at one another in slow motion. After a while, Ben gave her a nod, and she kissed him again — gently, this time — taking his lower lip between hers before they sank to the floor, and finished their moment in the burning throne room the way they should have done the first time.


	16. Found

Rey’s entire body was sore the next day when they left from the lack of sleep she’d gotten that night. After the dream with Ben had ended — once they’d thankfully gotten the chance to finish what they’d started in the throne room — she’d woken up almost immediately, and been barred from sleeping for the rest of the night. 

In the end, they hadn’t wound up taking the falcon, and had instead managed to get hold of an ancient looking First Order shuttle that seemed like it would fall apart, but managed to make it into Hyperspace without wounding or maiming anyone. It had apparently been sitting uselessly in their hangar until the night before their mission, but when Leia had given the order, the ship had been given a once over or two and been given clearance to fly. At least now they stood a chance of not getting recognized before they were inside, and now they had a chance of actually saving Ben even if they didn’t have the familiar comfort of the Falcon. 

By the time the shuttle they’d taken was en route to the Supremacy II’s location, though, she had almost magically found herself out of energy once more. It was for this reason she was now fiddling with her lightsaber through the force, letting it spin mindlessly in the air directly above her as she tried to distract herself from all the things that could go wrong. The shuttle’s bunk was empty of furnishings, providing nothing useful as a means of entertaining herself, and Rose was helping them work through access codes and keywords to use just in case the Order didn’t allow them access to their new pride and joy on sight. 

That left her alone in the bunk, or rather, she’d left to go back into the bunk, claiming to need sleep that still seemed to elude her.  _ Kriff _ , she needed to get some shut eye if she was going to have any hope of completing this successfully. All she seemed capable of, though was twirling the damn saber through the air. 

It didn’t help that her brain was supplying her even more useless scenarios that were definitely not helping. She recalled that Ben had still been in his civilian clothing when he’d been caught — had still been wearing his  _ ring  _ when he’d been captured — and thus Hux knew that Ben was married. Whether or not he knew about his affiliation with the Resistance, she couldn’t be sure. Perhaps the General had simply been planning a mutiny and catching her husband at a time like that had been a coincidence rather than him actually knowing what had happened. 

_ “Seen anywhere interesting lately? _ ” Hux had asked him, and that question could’ve meant anything. A part of it could’ve been answered by the ring on his finger, but that only worried her more. What would the general do to him once he learned that he was married?

The door to the bunk slid open then, and Rey turned her head, but didn’t drop the spinning saber above her chest as she watched a bored looking Rose Tico enter the room. Her friend gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes, groaning as she gestured for Rey to scoot over on the mattress. Laughing slightly, she obliged the command, then the other woman dropped in beside her, both their eyes focusing on the object floating above them. “What brings you back here?”

“Poe’s new mission to filthy First Order property,” she said, then she gestured back to the door she’d come through. “I wouldn’t go into the cockpit for a little while if I were you.”

Rey snickered under her breath. “Wasn’t planning to.”

“Finn and Poe aside… how are you holding up?”

“I’m fine… tired… but I can’t sleep so I’ve just been doing… this.” She gestured to the saber. “It’s passing the time sufficiently enough.”

Rose stared at it for a moment, seeming almost hypnotized. “ _ Kriff,  _ that’s still so cool that you can do that,” she admitted. “You just… you don’t have to touch it, you can just move it.”

She laughed lightly. “It’s not  _ that  _ impressive, other people can do it, too.”

“But not many. Not anymore,” Rose replied, then she crossed her arms over her chest. “Just let me think it’s cool for a minute, it’s a lot more pleasant than picturing Finn and Poe… being themselves.”

“Fair enough,” Rey replied, then she continued swirling the lightsaber in the air, and she and Rose sat in silence for another moment, just watching it spin. “I feel like we’ve done more missions in the last two weeks than in the last several months.”

“Yeah… can’t wait till we get home and we get a night of sleep… but… I don’t know, even when it’s over, the nightmares will hang around for a  _ while  _ after.” Rose shrugged. “That’s just how it works.”

“But we’ll have each other,” Rey pointed out. “We’ll get through it. The nightmares will be worth ending this.”

When she looked over at her friend, she was smiling. “Yeah they will,” she said, then the two shared another, short laugh, and stared in silence at the hypnotically spinning weapon above them. 

They watched it spin until Rey heard Rose softly snoring beside her, and she looked over to see her friend’s sleeping face with a weak upturn of the corners of her mouth. At least one of them was getting rest, she thought as she ceased the saber’s spinning, then she reached up a hand and snatched it from the air, clipping it back onto her belt as she too closed her eyes, and attempted sleep for the nth time. 

It still took her ages to finally fall into that state of unconsciousness, and by the time she did it, most of the route had undoubtedly passed them by, but eventually she was back in that throne room again. The room looked the exact same as it had the last time she’d seen it, with the curtains still burning and the embers still falling, and their clothes strewn about so that they were completely bare as they held one another on the floor, covered only by the fabric she’d draped over herself. 

She smiled the moment she saw him, then she flushed slightly when she realized they were both still very much naked, exactly how they’d left one another the last time they’d been there. “ _ Nice clothes, _ ” she joked. 

_ “You’re one to talk.” _

They both chuckled at this, then Rey sighed as she rested a hand over his chest, watching the embers shine in the golden flecks of his eyes. “ _ I suppose this works differently in dreams… _ ”

_ “It might.” _

_ “How are you feeling?” _

_ “Still unconscious, still don’t know where I am.”  _ He shook his head, then tightened his grip around her.  _ “I’ve just been drifting through dreams this whole time.” _

_ “What’s that like?” _

“ _ Unsettling _ ,” he replied, taking in a slow breath.  _ “I don’t even realize it’s a dream until you’re here.” _

_ “And Hux hasn’t woken you at all?” _

“ _ No _ .” Worry filled the bond then, visible in the lines formed by his furrowing eyebrows. “ _ I don’t think he’s figured out how to handle me yet, if I’m being honest. _ ” He took her hand then, tracing his thumb over the finger that was supposed to bear her ring, but held no golden band around its base. “ _ Rey, I was wearing my ring when I was captured. He’s figured out by now that I’m married.” _

She shushed him.  _ “I know, but that doesn’t mean he knows it was me.” _

_ “But he knows something,” _ Ben warned her, holding her a little more tightly in his arms.  _ “Where are you right now?” _

“ _ We’re on our way to you _ ,” she told him. _ “We got your location shortly before we left. We’ll be there soon.” _

“ _ You remember what I told you, right?”  _ She nodded, and Ben laced his fingers through hers where he was still running his thumb over her ring finger.  _ “Stay safe.” _

_ “Stay alive.” _   


Ben swallowed nervously, as if he weren’t sure that was a promise he could make, but then he slowly bowed his head in agreement. “ _ I’ll try _ .”

After that, they fell quiet, neither one of them saying much as they laid there in one another’s company, as if they were afraid that these would be their final moments together. For all they knew, they could have been. Once either of them woke up… it was entirely possible that Hux could’ve had Ben killed by the time she got there, and the mission would’ve been for naught. 

They could’ve been walking into a trap, but Rey didn’t care. She had to at least try to get him back, he deserved the chance to start over, and the galaxy deserved to be at peace. One smarmy man with ginger hair wasn’t going to change that. 

After a while, Rey looked up at Ben, then she smiled as they locked eyes, and pressed a hand up to his cheek.  _ “We can do this.” _

_ “I’ll try to believe that.” _

She shook her head.  _ “Don’t just try.” _ With that, Rey leaned forward, and pressed a chaste little kiss to his lips. “ _ Do _ .”

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but then seemed to decide against it. They fell quiet again, then he sighed.  _ “I’ll tell you when we’re safe. I know we’ve already said it… but I don’t want to say it again just because I think I’m about to lose you. Even if it’s true.” _

_ “Me too,” _ Rey said, shifting up to kiss him again as she spo—

Her eyes snapped open in their stolen ship’s bunk, and Rey groaned as she looked up, and into the eyes of her rather disheveled looking commander. “Good, you’re up,” he said, then he gestured over to Rose. “Make sure she’s up, too. We’re almost there.”

Despite wanting to punch him a little for interrupting her time with Ben, she nodded. “We’ll meet you in the cockpit in a minute.”

“Hurry,” Poe told her. “I want to go over everything one more time before we’re in there.” With that, he left Rey and Rose alone in the bunk again, and headed back into the cockpit. 

Once he was gone, Rey looked over at her sleeping friend, noticing Rose snoring quietly. Silencing a giggle, she reached over and tapped her shoulder. “Time to get up,” she whispered, then Rose groaned. “Sorry.”

“Remind me never to share a bed with you again,” Rose muttered, then she reached up and rubbed her eyes. “Actually, if this goes right, I won’t ever have to worry about you waking me up in the middle of another really good dream.”

Rey laughed. “What was this one about?”’

Rose sat up, and Rey followed suit, watching her friend swing her legs over the bunk’s edge as she prepared to stand. “I'll tell you if we make it out of this alive, how’s that?” 

“Fair enough,” she said, then both of them crawled off of the bunk, and headed toward the cockpit, ready to begin what was going to become the most intense mission of their lives. 

They remained silent as they opened the door to the ship’s front. The only noise filling the room was the shuffling of Finn and Poe’s clothing as they turned to look at them when they came in, then they turned back to the streaking blue light that was hyperspace. “We’re coming out in five minutes,” the commander announced as he turned back around, and Rey watched as he reached into his lap, and picked up the ear com that had been resting in it. As the stars continued streaking past them, he gently attached it to his right ear, and tapped the device on the side to turn it on. “Okay… that’s better. Much less noticeable.” He looked back at Rey and Rose. “Everybody get ready we’re landing near the laundry area. We’ve gotta steal some clothes.”

“Right… we can't really come in looking like…” Rose gestured to the Resistance symbol on her jacket sleeve, and Poe nodded. 

“Exactly, we’re doing what you did last time, but hopefully with a significantly smaller amount of betrayal.”

Finn groaned as he leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat. “That’s the last time I ever trust strangers.”

“Hey, you didn’t know,” Poe replied, resting a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “You didn’t have time to consider that the guy might rat you out.”

All Finn gave him in response was a weak-hearted smile, then neither of them said anything. The only words uttered by either of them in the minutes that followed were Poe’s orders for Rey and Rose to hold onto something as he brought the ship out of hyperspace, and suddenly the stars were no longer lines of brilliant light around them. In fact, in a large chunk of the sky, they were nonexistent, covered up by the sheer mass of the Supremacy II as it loomed over them like a giant. 

Nervous swallows filled the silence, and tension grew high in the cockpit as Poe requested landing access that no one thought they’d get. Somehow — whether by way of classic Dameron charm, or the will of the force — they managed it, and a few minutes later they landed quietly, unnoticed by the stormtroopers and droids that were patrolling the deck and performing essential maintenance on the other ships in the hangar. The heart racing didn’t stop there, though, and she knew it wouldn’t until the moment she had Ben in her arms again. 

It wasn’t until they’d stolen away into the laundry room, until they’d changed their Resistance issue clothing — which she had no doubt they’d never see again — for First Order uniforms, that Rey even felt calm enough to reach out into the force to try and find Ben. He was still unconscious, still out from whatever sedative they’d used to keep him down, but he was alive. Unless Hux figured out how to subdue his force abilities while awake in the next few minutes… he’d stay that way long enough for them to get him out.

As she, Rose, Finn, and Poe made their way down a hallway toward the lifts, she found herself able to envision a room with grey toned walls, and lights similar to the ones she’d woken up under when Ben had taken her to Starkiller base all that time ago. Now he was strapped to a similar table, slanted vertically as if he were standing even though his heavy restraints were the only thing keeping him upright. She could see his face relaxed in sleep for the most part, but the hints of creasing by his eyes were a telling sign that he was not at peace. He was terrified, confused, and concerned… for himself, for her, and for the galaxy he’d been trying so hard to protect from the unique vantage point he’d had. 

_ I’m coming, Ben,  _ she thought into the force.  _ Just hold on. _

At this, she could see the lines on his face soften, as if somehow, even unconscious, he could tell she was there. Relief coursed through her, then she felt her heart rate go up again as they neared the lift that would take them where they needed to go. 

“Where is he?” Poe asked, keeping his voice low as they passed a group of stormtroopers. The others all bowed their heads to keep their faces out of sight as they passed, only letting up when the footsteps were a great distance away. 

Rey gestured to the lift. “He’s a ways up where they keep the prisoners.” They walked forward a few more steps, then Poe pressed the button that would send them up. “I can’t tell how heavily guarded he is yet.”

“I’d bet heavily. We’re going to have to create a diversion,” Finn replied, then the doors opened, and they all shuffled into the lift before Rey pressed a button that would send them to Ben’s floor. “When I was here… they rarely ever left a high profile prisoner like that alone… even when they were unconscious.”

“Sounds like the words, ‘distract the guard,’ are heading in my general direction.” Poe rubbed his hands together, almost smiling gleefully at the thought, then Finn glared at him. “It’s just a distraction. You can join if you want.”

Finn managed a small giggle as Rose and Rey both rolled their eyes, then the latter of the two nodded. “Okay. Distract the guard. I’ll go in and get Ben out… Rose, you’ll have to help me.”

“Can do… but with what exactly?”

“He’s not exactly light, and if I can’t manage to wake him up, I’m going to need an extra piece of muscle while Finn and Poe distract the guards.”

“Right…” Rose let out a nervous, shaky breath, and Rey gave her a grim smile before turning to face the elevator doors, and watching as they rose up and up through the bowels of the ship. 

The whole thing reminded her of months earlier when she’d been in a different elevator on a different ship with her husband. She remembered how nervous she’d been back then, how excited she’d been to have the chance to bring him back, to see him in person after their conversation in the hut. Of course, save for what definitely counted as a little light flirting in the landing bay where her little shuttle had taken her, Rey hadn’t quite gotten the chance to talk to Ben about how she felt about him before they’d wound up in Snoke’s throne room. 

Now would probably be no different. They probably wouldn’t get the chance to talk until Rey got him safely out of the Supremacy II and back onto the Resistance base, but at least now she knew what side he was on. Snoke had been right about one thing; where once there had been conflict… all there was in Ben Solo’s soul was resolve. 

The doors opened a minute later on a dark, but quiet hallway shrouded in chrome shadows and faint silver lights. Rey’s heart was beating like war drums as she stepped out onto the hall, checking to be sure no one else was there before she gave the others the all clear. With that signal, Finn and Poe moved ahead, and Rey whispered to him quietly which door it was he needed to find as he passed her. She then waited patiently for the moment she heard his delighted voice working its magic over whoever was guarding Ben’s cell, then she and Rose rushed forward down a nearby corridor. 

Rey wasn’t entirely sure what made her so certain as to how exactly to get to Ben, but she felt almost as if she were being guided by an invisible compass, like something was pulling her the same way a needle would find magnetic north. She kept close to the walls, checking behind her every so often to make sure that Rose was still there and that she hadn’t been taken, or harmed in anyway by an assailant they hadn’t previously seen. Luckily, nothing came, and by the time they reached the door she knew Ben was behind, she had near complete confidence that at the bare minimum, they’d be able to get inside of the room they were keeping her husband in. 

Whether or not they got him out successfully, though, was still up in the air. 

Ben’s force signature was stronger there than ever. She could feel it pulsing around her like the even breaths he was taking in his unconscious state, and as she looked beyond the door to where Poe and Finn were casually flirting with the guards, she knew she couldn’t wait any longer. 

As quietly as she could, Rey urged the door open with the force, keeping a hand hovering over the hilt of her lightsaber as she prepared to use it in case anyone unwanted was in there. Upon entering, though, she noticed immediately that the room was empty save for the unconscious man strapped to the near vertical table at the center, sleeping quietly though he was under some of the brightest lights she’d ever seen. Both she and Rose put a hand up to shield themselves against it as they walked in, and the former of the two once again used the force to shut the door as they walked into the room. 

At least, Rose walked in. Ben’s wife on the other hand rushed forward, hurriedly using her abilities to undo his restraints one by one. “Come on, Ben, wake up,” she muttered under her breath, swearing as she undid the one placed over his head, and he didn’t even flinch. “Ben…” She paused in her actions, then she took his face in her hands, whispering his name a few more times as she stared, waiting for something,  _ anything  _ to happen. “I’m here, wake up.” 

Rey watched for another minute as he continued to remain unconscious, then she closed her eyes, reaching out to Ben through their bond. He was still there, still present in the form of a relaxing sort of white noise, and she honed in on that sound, making it louder and louder until she could start feeling his emotions again. She felt his confusion first, then his betrayal, his anger, and finally beneath it all, she felt love. 

Her eyes fluttered open just as her husband let out a groan, and she let out a heavy sigh of relief as she released his face from her hands, then continued to undo his restraints, freeing him until he would be able to move freely once he regained full consciousness. “Almost there,” she whispered under her breath as she finished off the last restraint, then she was holding his face again, scanning him for signs of life. “Come on, Ben…” 

“Rey, we might have to carry him,” Rose reminded her, her boots clomping on the floor as she stepped forward. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“I heard him say something a second ago I have to try,” Rey replied, then she gently tapped Ben’s cheek with her palm. “ _ Ben _ ?”

At this, more relief flooded her veins as she watched his eyes slowly blink open, and another groan left his lips as he caught sight of the blinding white light illuminating the room. She quickly shielded him from it, using one of her hands to provide a visor of sorts for his eyes, but she knew that strategy wouldn’t work for long. Ben had to wake up from his day long nap and he had to do it quickly. “Ben?” She watched his eyes go in and out of focus, and waves of nausea and dizziness filled their bond.  _ Kriff _ , he really was out of it. “Ben, can you hear me? We have to run.”

Another soft groan escaped him, but he lifted his head, peering at her through the light. “Rey?” 

“I’m here,” she assured him, wanting nothing more than to take his face in her hands and kiss him senseless, but she refrained from that thought. They had more important things to do, kissing could wait until later as much as she didn’t want it to. “But we have to go, there’s not much time.”

Ben’s lips moved, but whatever he said, she couldn’t make out. Confused, she leaned in closer, hoping that he decrease in distance would allow her to hear whatever he was trying to say. For all she knew, it was going to be important, but… he had taken a hit to the head, he’d probably been under the influence of drugs to keep him out of it. Coming out of such a state was going to be difficult, and gathering one’s wits would be even more so. 

When he finally spoke legibly, she heard him preface his sentence with a gentle sigh. “You’re… so…  _ beautiful, _ ” he mumbled, then Rey’s cheeks flushed as she rolled her eyes, and turned to Rose. 

“Help me get him up, we need to move,” she said, then her friend was at her side in an instant. “Ben put your arm around me.” Of that much, he was capable of, and she let out a slow, unsteady breath as he wrapped his other arm around Rose, who grunted under his near dead weight as she and Rey began to move him forward. “Can you walk?”

Another soft grunt, then she watched as he took an uneasy step forward. “... a little…” 

“You’re going to have to make it a lot we have to go,” Rose replied, her voice stern as she addressed Ben. 

Through the bond, she could feel his head swimming, and he only just resisted clutching it as he swayed on his feet between them. “... you’re… bossy,” he told her as they made their way to the door. Both women stifled laughter as they approached the large, steel frame, then Rey reached out into the force, and it was open on a once again empty hallway. 

“Let’s go.” With that, she and Rose helped Ben walk down the corridor they’d come from, listening to the sounds of Poe Dameron flirting in the distance as they echoed down the halls. If her half-conscious husband weren’t drifting somewhat uselessly between them, she would’ve locked eyes with her friend again and both would’ve undoubtedly rolled their eyes. 

That day, though, there wasn’t time for that. There wasn’t time for anything at all other than getting in and getting Ben out. They’d already succeeded at the first thing, now all they had to do was somehow manage to pull off the second. If she could just get him to the lifts and back to the ship they’d stolen, maybe they’d stand a chance. 

Before any of that could happen; she had to com Poe and let him know he could stop trying to get into the wrong stormtrooper’s pants. As they rounded a corner, she raised her free wrist to her lips, her words streaming directly into the discreet receiver he’d attached to his ear. “Commander, get out of there, we have what we need,” she told him, trite and to the point, then she resumed the walk down the hall with Rose and a slowly awakening Ben. 

“You… you made it,” he said disbelievingly, and as she glanced up at him, he was almost smiling down at her. She wagered he didn’t quite have the energy for the real thing yet, but just the barest hint of that smile she didn’t know whether or not she’d see again was enough. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“It’s dangerous… I had my doubts.”

“Ben, there was no chance in hell I wouldn’t see you again,” she promised him, then she used her free hand to grip his, ringed fingers lacing together as they walked cautiously down another corridor. 

Another almost smile. “I lo—“

At this, Rose made a gagging sound. “Would you two mind saving the flirting for when we’re out of here?” she asked, and two pairs of slightly ticked off eyes locked onto her small frame. “We’ve got a mission to run.”

Rey winced. “Right, sorry…” 

“Sorry.”

“ _ Thank you,”  _ Rose said, then they slowly ceased their pace, coming to a complete halt before the corridor turned off into another section of hall, the last one leading to their escape route — the last walk to freedom. “We have to make sure the coast is clear… I’m… can you stand?”

Ben planted his feet more firmly on the ground, and rose up a little more to his full height. “I can manage…” he grumbled, then he closed his eyes for a few seconds. 

Rey’s brows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?”

He gave her a nod. “Yeah, fine,” he replied, his voice still somewhat slurred from the state he’d been rendered in. “It’s my head.” Undoubtedly sending her concern, he turned to Rose. “Go ahead, I’ll manage.”

The woman beside him gave him a hesitant once over, then she slowly ducked out from under his arm, allowing Ben to lean more on Rey as they waited for her to check how clear the hallways were. A few seconds later, they heard footsteps approaching, and both of them stiffened as they prepared to make a hasty retreat back from whence they came, but then Rose smiled as she stared at whoever was coming. That sort of response could only come from one source. 

“Did you have fun?” Rose asked, her voice half sarcastic as she crossed her arms over her chest, and stared down Poe as he and Finn’s footsteps grew nearer. 

“He did,” Finn replied, his voice tinged with just a hint of jealousy as they approached, finally coming into view not a second later. “I thought he sounded like something out of a bad holo.”

Poe looked offended at this, but didn’t comment as Rey and Ben finally made their way out of the hallway, and met the other three in the middle. His jaw fell slack a little when he saw who she was supporting, and she felt the man beside her grow tense as the two men locked eyes, taking one another in for a near heart stopping few seconds. “We’ll leave in a minute, but first I need to be absolutely sure,” he said, stepping forward so that they were properly face to face. “Can I trust you?”

“Do you think I would be here if you couldn’t?” Ben almost growled, a hint of anger seeping into their connection tinged with disbelief, as if the thought that after all he’d been through he would still possibly have any loyalty to the government he’d been ruler of just days prior. They both watched Poe’s eyes widen, then Ben softened beside her. “I see your point… I haven’t given you any reason to in the past.”

The commander shook his head. “No, you haven’t, but I also see yours…” He put his hands on his hips, seeming to stand a little taller as he stepped back from her husband. “And any man who puts his life on the line for one of mine is someone I can trust.” The two exchanged an awkward nod, then Poe turned to the others. “Let’s go, we’ve wasted enough time.”

With that, the five were on their way out of the ship, and with every step closer to the lifts, Ben’s own footfalls were growing steadier, and he relied on her less and less to support his weight. By the time they got there, he only had his arm around her shoulders as a means of affection, and both of them were near smiling again as Poe pressed the button that would take them down. 

The five piled into the lift the moment the doors opened, and Rey let him lean back against the wall as they closed, watching as Ben took a few breaths to steady himself, seeming to still be out of it a little as the lift began to descend. “How far away did you park your ship?” he asked Poe. 

“Not far. It’s close to where we’re getting off.”

“Good, it won’t take them long to realize I’m gone.” He gestured vaguely upwards. “There’s a good chance they already know, and someone’s sent out the alert that I’ve gotten free. That alert will go almost immediately to whoever’s in charge which…” A grimace crossed his features as one of his hands clenched into a fist. “I have no doubt would be Hux.”

“Ah, General Hugs.” Poe smirked as he crossed his arms. “Makes sense. As much as I like making fun of him, he’s probably the most powerful person in the Order right now.”

“I just don’t know how he found out,” Rey mumbled, then when the others’ heads snapped in her direction, she sighed. “I mean… we were careful. Ben put on a disguise…” She gestured to the borrowed clothes he was still wearing. “And this still happened.”

An inquisitive feeling washed over their bond, and she glanced up at the man standing beside her, watching as he ran a nervous hand through his dark hair. After a moment, Ben swallowed nervously, then he met her gaze. “I thought about that, too. Once I was in the air, he should’ve had no way to catch me… unless…” He paused, gathering his thoughts, then he looked at the others. “Unless he saw me leave…”

“How would he have done that?” Rose asked, and all eyes turned to her. “He would’ve had to have you watched. Someone would’ve been following you. Did you see anything suspicious before you left? Anything at all?”

A blush crept up Ben’s cheeks, and she could feel his embarrassment through the bond as he answered her, “No, but… I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should’ve been. He could’ve had me followed from the moment we landed on that planet.” The flush of color on his cheeks grew more prominent. “I was distracted.”

Poe snickered quietly under his breath, his eyes flickering between him and Rey. “I’ll bet.”

“Poe,” Finn said sternly, then he shook his head, but when his partner smiled at him while he apologized, he still didn’t hesitate to return it.

“So you were followed then. Someone saw you leave and reported it to Hux…” Rose tapped a finger on her chin, brows furrowed in concentration. “But why didn’t they just capture you then and there? Why didn’t they…?” 

Finn shrugged. “It makes no sense… unless they didn’t know he was going to leave the planet. By the time they would’ve gotten around to alerting Hug—Hux— he would’ve been gone.”

“And all the Order would have to do was wait and set the perfect trap,” Poe finished, then he pointed to Ben. “How long were you gone?”

“Half a day, why?” 

“That’s more than enough time to get ready to estimate your return and prepare to render you unconscious, but not enough time for them to find a way to interrogate you without getting tortured themselves.” There was a hint of a bitter edge to his words as he practically glared at Ben, then he sighed, his gaze drifting downward. “And what reason would Hux have to interrogate you beyond knowing why you betrayed the Order? Why you gave up your position?” 

The question was asked like he already knew the answer, but was just waiting for someone to make the request that he tell it. Rey nearly groaned,  but took the bait nonetheless. “What was it?”

Poe pointed to the ring that was mercifully still on Ben’s finger. “That. He saw that, and he’s not a complete idiot.” He was practically grinning as he revealed his knowledge, his pride undoubtedly swelling in his chest as he spoke. “He knows what that means, so he keeps you alive because…” Another realization struck him then, and that almost smile quickly fell. “Because he knows you’re attached to someone… and you likely just went out to see them… and if you did it in rebel clothing in a stolen ship… whoever you married is in the Resistance…” His eyes snapped up to meet Ben’s, and Rey could see panic raging within them now. “... and when they realize you’re missing, they… they might come after you.”

Every person in the lift blanched, color draining from their faces as they came to the same conclusion Poe had yet to voice, and Rey suddenly held Ben’s hand a little more tightly as she realized they weren’t nearly as safe as they thought. No, they weren’t safe at all, and were in fact in more danger than they could’ve predicted at this stage. Hux had likely just been expecting Ben’s mysterious wife to show up, not half of the Resistance’s major players. He was about to get a full course meal, and they’d just handed it to him on a silver platter. “Ben…”

Before he could answer, the lift came to a sudden, screeching halt, causing all of them to lose their balance. The five wobbled uncomfortably on their feet, some of them reaching out to the others for support as they came to a stop long before they were supposed to. When they finally regained stability, Rey looked up to see sheer panic in the eyes of her comrades, and an odd sort of resignation in those of her husband. 

For a moment, all she could hear was the sound of their breathing as the lift creaked and groaned in response to the crude mechanical interruption, but silence, no matter how long it seemed to last, never truly lasted forever. Just a few seconds later, they heard the familiar whirring noise of the doors opening, and Rey laced her fingers through Ben’s as they watched the light from the hall outside filter in around the silhouettes of another adversary. 

A tall figure — though not quite as tall as Ben — stepped forward into the light from behind a group of stormtroopers, and a very familiar sneer greeted them beneath a shock of ginger hair. For a few seconds, the general just stared them down, and she swore she could hear the hearts of each person in the room beating as the corners of his mouth slowly tilted upward into a cocky, wicked sort of grin. “Ren, Ren, Ren…” he muttered, shaking his head. “Will wonders ever cease?” 

Another heart stopping pause passed them by, then Hux chuckled, and addressed the stormtroopers at his side. “Arrest them. Shoot to kill if they resist. I don’t need all of them.” His eyes drifted down to Rey and Ben’s joined hands, and she could see vividly the moment he realized who the man beside her had married. His smile turned into an almost impish smirk, glee rampant in his eyes as he pointed his finger at Rey. “I just need  _ them _ .” 


	17. Battlefield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY WE ARE SO CLOSE TO THE END! The next chapter will be the last regular update, and anything that comes after that will be an epilogue (I've got two ideas in mind, so keep an eye out for me to do both!) and thus after the next one, the story will be technically complete. Holy fucking shit thank you all so much for everything so far. You've seriously made my life.

They were rather screwed, Rey had to admit. The moment the words,  _ “arrest them,”  _ left Hux’s lips, she looked at Ben as if the man was joking. After all, they’d kept him unconscious for so long because they didn’t know how to deal with him and his abilities. Now both of them were together, and if they’d taken down Snoke and his Praetorian guards together, reason said they could take down Hux and admittedly many more stormtroopers. 

It was a tad disheartening to see some of the troopers armed with weapons similar to those of Snoke’s guards, though, since she remembered how narrowly they’d escaped them the last time. If it hadn’t been for her quick thinking and his good catch, none what had gone down over the last several months would’ve happened. 

In the present Ben just shook his head at her, gesturing for her to stand down. “I don’t have my saber,” he mouthed while the stormtroopers moved forward to arrest the group, cuffing their hands and taking their weapons one by one. “We need to wait until Hux takes us to where they actually jail the prisoners. It’s closest to the exit.”

“Why the hell would you build a prison by the exit?”

“In case this exact situation happened.” He then glared at a stormtrooper as he violently wrenched his hands into the cuffs, and gave Rey one last nod. “When the time is right.”

She glanced at him nervously, then she turned her eyes front as the stormtroopers ushered them out of the lifts, and the ones carrying blasters pointed them right at the backs of the five Resistance members as they marched them all down the hallway. At this point, she wanted nothing more than to reach out, and take her husband’s hand, but she couldn’t. She had to wait until they were in a more secure location, until there weren’t so many stormtroopers and the General had left them alone. Only then could she hold his hand… only then could they finally break free. 

The hallway was a straight shot ined with cool-toned lighting that somehow managed to make everything but the color of their skin feel like it was perfectly bathed in shades of grey, and as they drew closer to wherever the hell they were going, the air grew colder. Goosebumps covered Rey’s arms as Hux turned down another hallway she hadn’t seen coming, and she caught fear drifting over the bond that her husband tried very quickly to conceal, but failed. 

“What is it?” she whispered, but before he could respond, one of the troopers ordered them not to talk, and their eyes were front once more. 

At the end of the hall they turned onto, she could see Hux and the stormtroopers with staffs as weapons leading them toward a massive set of black, chrome-lined doors. The scowl she saw on her husband’s face gave away to her just what that room was, and she swallowed nervously as she realized they were definitely not being taken to the jail cells. The First Order general intended to do away with them right then and there with perhaps a little light interrogation to terrorize them — or attempt to — before he cut off the lives of five of the Resistance’s best fighters. Well, four of them and the galaxy’s former supreme leader. 

Her pulse thudded in her ears as they approached the room, but she steeled herself as they opened the black and chrome doors onto a room that gave off the same energy as the throne room on the original Supremacy. The only difference was the red was more of an accent and didn’t coat the entire room in the form of a curtain, rather it lined the walls and provided the color of the throne at the center of the room. There were no curtains this time, and the entirety of space was visible through the windows that served to replace the walls, the perfect place for a leader to gaze upon his kingdom. 

“Ren, you hardly ever used this room,” Hux said as he approached the throne, and the stormtroopers stopped them in the center of the room. “Put them on their knees. I want them to kneel before I execute them.”

There was a quiet gasp from one of them, but Rey couldn’t tell who made it as a foot made contact with the back of one of her knees, and she was forced to kneel to the ground in almost perfect sync with the others. Ben grunted beside her as he nearly collapsed, and she heard Finn, Poe, and Rose make similar noises of protest as they were rendered into the same position, each and every one of them glaring daggers at Hux as he stared them down. 

He stood in front of the throne, but didn’t sit down in it as his eyes drifted over the form of each and every one of them. “I’d been meaning to do this for a while, truly I had, but when I planned it I’d thought you were just weak,” he told Ben, then he shook his head. “I had no idea you intended to betray us until one of my scouts saw you jump into that x-wing.” A snicker escaped him then, and he shifted, causing the long, black coat he was wearing to move just so that Rey caught a glimpse of a familiar, metallic hilt clipped to his belt. 

_ Ben’s saber. _ Rey’s head was swimming with ideas then, and as her eyes flickered over to Ben, she knew he saw it, too. 

“A foolish mistake, really, if you intended to live any longer.” Hux practically guffawed as he continued, walking forward until he was standing in front of Ben. “And then come to find…  _ you’re married.” _ He looked out over the stormtroopers, then he beckoned two of them forward, and suddenly there was a trooper at her back, grasping at her hands and grabbing at one thing in particular —  _ her ring. _

Anger flared from both sides of the bond, and Rey struggled to get out of the stormtrooper’s grasp as he attempted to wrench her ring from her hand. “Don’t you  _ dare! _ ” she cried, but it was useless, he already had her ring in his hand. As the trooper came around in front of her, he knocked her on the back of her head with his blaster. A pained grunt escaped her, but she didn’t give Hux the satisfaction of seeing any further reaction out of her, even as she felt Ben’s rage burning a hole into his skull. 

Around the same time, they wrenched Ben’s own ring free of his hand, and he was scowling openly as she looked over at him, watching as the stormtroopers took their wedding rings, and handed them to Hux, who cupped them in his palm, then pocketed them into his coat. “Not only are you married, but — and I never in a million years could have predicted  _ this — _ but you’re married to  _ the girl. _ ” He walked over to Rey next, inspecting her with a clinical eye as he gave a wicked hint of a smile. “The one you took in place of the droid we needed so desperately on Takodana… you know… your decisions there make a lot more sense in hindsight since it appears you’re in love with her. But… that only adds to your betrayal…” He stepped forward, grasping Ben forcefully by the collar and pulling him close. “And that was the perfect time for me to take what should’ve been mine.”

“You’re no ruler, General,” Ben growled. “Snoke said it himself, you’re nothing but a rabid cur. You could win this war, but once it’s over… you won’t know how to rule the galaxy for shit.”

The General scoffed, then he pointed to Rey. “She’s the one who  _ killed  _ Snoke! Or was that precisely what made you fall for her?”

Rey laughed then, unable to help the giggle that escaped her lips as she recalled exactly what had led to Snoke’s death. All that did though, was cause Hux to turn on her. “Is there something funny?”

She didn’t answer, instead, she heard a familiar snicker from further down the line, and Poe answered him instead, “Yeah, you’ve been monologuing for too long,” he said, then Hux turned on him. “And you’ve got the wrong killer.”

Hux snorted. “Oh, I’m sure I do,” he muttered. “If she didn’t kill him, then who the hell did?”

At this, she saw Ben smiling. “Who told you that the girl killed Snoke?”

Realization dawned on the General’s face, then his features shifted into a morbid sort of smirk. “Well, all the more reason to execute you immediately then, a confession to regicide.” He then marched forward to Poe. “And better yet, I get to take out your conspirators, too. When I captured you, I just thought I’d take out you and whomever you married, but… you brought the whole party…” Hux clapped his hands together, then stepped in front of Finn and Rose. “Thanks to your own stupidity, I get to take out four of the Resistance’s most prized fighters… And after that I’ll have all but won…” He reached forward to mockingly ruffle Rose’s hair — which was about to prove to be a mistake — “Then we’ll see how well a ‘rabid cur’ rules the galaxy.”

With that, he moved to pull his hand away, but Rose was faster than he was. Rey caught the barest hint of a smile before she leaned forward, and bit the General’s leather coated fingers, earning her a sharp cry of pain as he tried to wrench his hand away from her bite. 

While the stormtroopers tried to wrestle them apart, Ben looked over at Rey, and gave her a nod.  _ “Now, _ ” he whispered, then she reached out into the force, and undid her cuffs before turning on the trooper in the background who had stolen their weapons, and launching her lightsaber in her direction while Ben did the same for his. As the troopers with laser bladed staffs ignited their weapons, they did the same, and with another wave of energy, Rey released their friends from their cuffs, freeing the others to engage in battle. 

She felt Ben think quickly, then with a wave of his hand, the wave of stormtroopers immediately surrounding them was forced backwards as all hell broke loose, allowing Finn, Poe, and Rose to get up from the floor, and make their way toward their saber wielding allies, who swung their blades to fend off the bolts from the various blasters that were being fired throughout the room as the five stood back to back. Rey didn’t hesitate to reach out again, stealing a blaster off of a nearby stormtrooper before placing it securely in Poe’s hands. The commander laughed delightedly, then sent a flurry of bolts into the nearest wave of troopers, allowing them to advance forward so that Finn and Rose could arm themselves.

After that, Rey lost track of what everyone else was doing as the battle gained steam, and she ducked to avoid a blaster bolt she’d seen too late to send it spiraling backwards with the force. A cry sounded out from somewhere behind her, and all she could do was hope it came from someone who wasn’t on her side as she skewered the nearest stormtrooper on her lightsaber. 

She could hear the others grunting and struggling against their many assailants in the battle, but as she took a good look around the room while slashing across a stormtrooper’s armor, she realized there were only half a dozen more troopers than there were Praetorian guards on the original Supremacy. That was because they’d already taken out the bulk of the ones who were armed solely with blasters, but still, the fact delighted her as she kicked another one out of her way and into Finn’s direction, allowing her friend to fire off a blaster bolt into the trooper’s chest. A pang of sympathy made itself known on his face, then he was focused again, elbowing another one backwards before he resumed fighting the others.

A kick landed itself on her back, and Rey grunted as she fell to the floor, her lightsaber flying from her hands upon the impact. She swore, as it flew through the air, watching as it landed in the waiting hand of Poe, who laughed delightedly before he began to fight his way toward her. A grin blossomed on her face as she stood up, and knocked the trooper back with the force, then wrestled his staff from his hands before she swung it through his neck, wincing as his head separated from his body. 

She didn’t have time to worry about that one trooper, though, there were others attacking her friends, and they seemed to be putting up one hell of a fight, too. By the time she turned around after fending off that trooper, she was awestruck to see that Ben had lost his saber as well, both of them forced to use the laser staffs the troopers had as their seemingly powerless friends fought with their weapons. 

Shock filled her at the sight of Rose Tico wielding his cross-guarded saber, a fierce roar parting her lips as she ran the blade through the abdomen of a nearby trooper, who immediately went the way of former supreme leader Snoke. The small, but powerful woman then turned on another one who was going after Finn, engaging him in a deadly dance that guided them both far away from the former stormtrooper. 

If she’d had time, she would’ve watched the battle, would’ve admired how viciously her friend fought, but she didn’t. Rey had to worry about saving herself, and that was exactly what she did as she turned around, and collided her weapon with someone else’s, only to smile upon realizing that the weapon she’d collided with belonged to Ben. The corners of her husband’s lips turned up when he realized it was her, then his eyes widened as he caught sight of something behind her. 

Blood running cold, Rey turned as quickly as she could to see that Hux had joined in on the battle, and was now swinging at her violently with a blade similar to those of the troopers. She blocked it without hesitation, then sent him stumbling backwards as both she and Ben advanced on him, blades slicing viciously through the air to the tune of blaster bolts firing from the last of the blaster wielding troopers. “You really think you can win this?” the General cried, his blade narrowly missing Rey’s chest as he swung at her. 

“You really think  _ you  _ can win?” she asked in response. 

“Look at yourselves, you’re outnumbered! You have no chance in hell.” Hux blocked an attack from Ben, both men shouting as they engaged in a blade lock. “Even if you manage to defeat us in here, you’ll be stopped by the rest of my army. You’ll never win.”

Ben scoffed as he spared a glance at Rey. “We’ve won before…” he promised his former General, breaking the blade lock before shoving him backwards into a trio of stormtroopers with the force. “We’ll win again.” 

If they weren’t preoccupied, she would’ve kissed him then and there, but a battlefield kiss could wait until later when they didn’t still have so many adversaries alive and fighting. 

A shout sounded nearby, and she became aware that someone had called out her name, and she turned around just in time to see her lightsaber sail through the air in her direction. Without another thought, she reached up, and caught it, slashing a massive gash through a trooper’s helmet as she advanced toward where Finn and Poe were now struggling to hold their own against five more of the troopers. “Ben!” she cried, watching as her husband and Rose took down another set of them together.

The second they finished their work on that set, both Ben and Rose made their way over to Rey, and together the three of them advanced on the troopers, Hux and the bodies of the others forgotten in the chaos. Rey’s saber came down on the back of a trooper, and as he collapsed, she found an opening, and alongside the other two, she slipped into that crack, and once more the five of them were fighting back to back as they fought off the remaining troopers. 

“Where’s Hux?” Poe cried from somewhere behind her, and as soon as she’d forgotten him, Rey remembered him as she force shoved a trooper away from her, clearing her field of vision as she attempted to find the orange-haired General in the midst of the battle. 

“He knows he can’t win!” Ben shouted back. “He’s a coward. He’s probably already evacuated.”

“Ha!” the commander cried, then she heard him grunt as he threw a punch into a stormtrooper’s head using the but of his blaster. “Of course he would.”

“I don’t know about that,” Finn replied, and as Rey swung defensively against another trooper, he inhaled sharply. “He might not have left completely. Think about it, he’s trapped us before, what’s stopping him from doing it again?”

Rey didn’t want to think about it, and thus she shook her head. “We can’t worry about him right now! He’s not here, and they are. Let’s get out of here and then we can worry about Hux!”

“I like that plan!” Rose shouted back, then she heard the whizzing of Ben’s cross-guard as she cut through another trooper with a vicious war cry. 

Ben swore as a laser-bladed staff narrowly missed his head. “Can I have that back?” he asked Rose, and she watched him block the next attack out of the corner of her eye.

A laugh left the smaller woman. “No, I like it.”

With that, Ben left her alone, seeming to have intelligence enough not to argue with Rose in the midst of battle as he resumed his fight with the trooper in front of him. The whole exchange had a smile growing on Rey’s face as she kicked away another assailant, thinking that maybe they just might have had a shot at making it out of this alive. Maybe they’d finally get home, and maybe that dream she’d had before she dreamt up her husband’s capture would become their reality. 

As the battle drew to a close, the number of remaining enemy fighters grew smaller than theirs, and the Resistance fighters quickly gained the upper hand, sweat breaking out on the brows of all five of them as they fought tirelessly to victory. At least, she hoped they would. By sheer luck, they managed to stay in formation, able to defend one another’s backs in close quarters, and it wasn’t long before Rey cut down the last of the troopers in her direction, then turned and finished off the one attempting to do the same to Ben. 

“I had i—”

“I know,” she replied, then they both turned around as their friends finished off the last two troopers on the other side, and the room suddenly fell quiet. 

For a moment, all she could hear was the sound of the others’ panting as they cooled down from the battle, then relief flooded her as she watched the other three turn around, and in perfect unison, she and Rose deactivated their blades, and attached the sabers to the belts on their waists. “Was that all of them?” Rey asked, her chest still heaving from exertion. 

Poe looked around, examining every body on the floor out of the near two dozen before he nodded. “Yeah… I think so… we should double check.”

“Agreed,” Finn replied, then he gave all the bodies a once over. “Let’s do it.”

With that, he, Poe, and Rose began to move out across the room, and Rey stepped forward to join them, but then she felt her husband’s hand wrap around her wrist. “Ben!” she cried in protest, then she was spun around into his arms, and one of his hands cupped the base of her skull before his lips crashed down onto hers. 

Though it wasn’t smooth by any means — the initial coming together of their lips this time was rough, and not at all like their other soft, sweet kisses they’d shared in the past — the passion of it drove Rey’s heartbeat into a frenzy, and she melted into his touch, wrapping her arms around his neck as she smiled into the kiss. Ever since she’d seen him alive, Rey had been waiting patiently to kiss the oxygen from his lungs, and finally, after all that time and kriffing  _ Hux _ , she was getting that chance. 

Ben’s hands tangled themselves in her hair, eliciting a soft little moan from her that she knew had them both cursing Hux and how he’d stolen precious minutes from them that they could never get back. Fighting with Ben by her side was always better than fighting without him, but still, she wished they hadn’t had to fight at all. 

He pulled away from her suddenly, the kiss ending as abruptly as it had begun as the two wrenched apart, and this time, she knew exactly why. There was another wave of danger surging through the air toward them, and neither one of them had seen it coming until that very moment. The stormtroopers on the ground were all gone, but they’d assumed that the General leading their charge had left.  _ Oh, what a foolish assumption that was,  _ she thought as a blaster bolt missed her by inches, singeing the fabric of one of her jacket sleeves as it passed. 

The First Order’s General came out from behind a nearby red column then, firing off bolt after bolt in her direction while the rest of the Resistance yelled desperately for him to stop. Hux ignored them, but before any of those little shreds of vibrant, blue light could hit her, both she and Ben froze them in mid-air, and sent the general flying backwards to the floor. The latter of the two kept him down in a force stun, lips pressed together in a tight line as he and his wife approached their assailant, watching as he tried desperately to free himself from the force hold. 

“You really thought you’d be able to take us down with two dozen stormtroopers?” Ben asked, his voice tinged with disbelief as he continued holding the General down on the ground. 

Hux spat on the ground. “Damn you.”

“I don’t need your help with that, thanks,” her husband replied sarcastically, then he held out his other hand. “I think you have something that belongs to me…” He looked back at Rey. “That belongs to us.”

Hux glared at him as Ben walked forward, then bent down, and grabbed Hux by the collar of his coat before he reached his hand into his pocket, and retrieved the rings he’d stolen from them just minutes earlier. “You still won’t win,” the general growled as he rejoined her side, and slipped the hand holding their rings into hers, allowing her to revel in the feeling of the cool metal warming between their palms. 

“Maybe, but at least I know you won’t either,” he said, then his gaze flickered up. “Rose?” He gestured to his saber, then pointed to Hux. “Can I have that back now?”

Rose rolled her eyes, but tossed the saber to Ben, who pointed it at Hux the moment he caught it, and  _ kriff,  _ it was satisfying to see the shock on the General’s face as he laid there on the floor, completely stunned by the force and thus unable to move to stop what was inevitably going to happen. “Ren, be reasonable…”

He shook his head. “That’s not my name,” he replied, then he ignited the saber, the red blade piercing through Hux’s chest as the other five watched, then he shut it off, and released the General, his body collapsing to the floor as he began to slowly die from his wounds. As he laid there, breathing his final breaths, Ben turned to Rey, who gave him a soft smile as he let go of her hand, then he presented their rings for the room to see. “Now we’ve won.”

“We have,” Rey all but whispered as she took his ring from his palm, then placed it on his left hand before bending down slightly, and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles, which were bruised from his actions during the fight and even bleeding in some places, but she didn’t care. She was just glad he was in one piece. 

Ben’s eyes had never been more soft as he looked at her then, and she watched almost hypnotized as he returned the favor, sliding her ring slowly onto that same hand just like he had when they’d first gotten married; only instead of just kissing her hand, he leaned down, and kissed her full on the mouth. Unlike the last kiss they’d attempted though, this one didn’t retain the heat of battle, and instead became a gentle, tender thing. It became another vow not unlike the many they’d already said with each kiss, another promise that this was how things were going to be until they were both buried in the dirt. 

_ I love you _ , she thought with every brush of his lips against hers.  _ I really kriffing love you.  _ And it was true, but the time to say it out loud still hadn’t yet come to pass. They still weren’t completely out of the woods yet, and as much as Rey might have been thinking it, she couldn’t say it out loud until they were. 

One of her hands slid down to press against Ben’s chest while they kissed, clinging to the fabric of the shirt he’d stolen while she deepened it as if there was no one else in the room. Unfortunately for them both, though, there were three other people in the room, and one of them cleared their throats at that precise moment, causing Rey to slowly untangle herself from Ben all over again. 

“Are you two finished?” Poe asked, gesturing to the door with a hint of disgust present on his face. “Because we have to go.”

“Right,” Rey muttered, then she grasped her husband’s newly ringed hand tightly, and she sighed as she caught her breath from the latest kiss they’d shared. “How far away are we from the exit?”

Ben shook his head. “Not far at all. We’re close to the lifts still, and close to the prison cells. There’s a stairwell not far from there. It won’t get us back to where your ship came in, but it’ll get us out.”

“Out to where? Another ship?” Poe asked. 

“Yeah, it’s another hangar,” Ben assured him, then he looked at the others. “We should be able to steal something else, assuming you don’t have anything you absolutely  _ need  _ from your old ship?”

At this, Rose laughed. “No, we don’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest, and shrugged. “It’s a stolen ship from these guys, actually, so… we really don’t need it. We can just steal another. Depends on which way’s safer.”

“I’d place bets on the closer way,” Finn muttered. 

Poe raised his hand in the air. “Me too,” he said, then he turned his eyes on Ben and Rey. “We need to follow him, he’s the only one of us who knows the way out.”

“You sure you trust me?” Ben asked, unable to disguise the hint of bitterness from leaking into his voice. “You didn’t earlier.”

“We established this then, too, but yes, I’m sure I trust you.” Poe took another step toward Ben. “After what you just did? You just killed my least favorite person… right now, I’d let you fly my kriffing x-wing if you asked.” He pointed a finger at him. “But don’t ask me right away.”

Rose scoffed then, marching forward so she stood between the two men. “Can you two shut up so we can leave? We’re not completely out of the woods yet, the whole ship is probably still on red alert from us breaking out Ben.”

Rey nodded. “She’s right, we need to make for the exit as fast as we can, and not look back,” she said, then she laced her fingers through Ben’s, and met his gaze. “Everyone ready?”

“Ready,” a chorus of four voices repeated.

A grin blossomed on Poe’s face. “Let’s give them hell.” And with that, the five of them made their way out of the new throne room, stepping over Armitage Hux’s body as they went. 

Hard, determined looks grew on their faces as they made their way back out into the hall, and both Ben and Rey held their lightsabers high, prepared to activate them at a moment’s notice. Behind her, she could hear the buzzing of one of the stormtrooper’s laser staffs, and she looked back to see Finn gripping it with every bit of strength he had. A smile blossomed on her face as she turned back around, and continued following the former supreme leader out of the ship. 

“We turn left up here,” Ben whispered, pointing to a curve in the hallway that almost seemed to jut out into the central, straight and narrow aisle they were already walking down. A few seconds later, they all turned in near perfect unison with each other, weapons at the ready in case they ran into more stormtroopers or even just a member of the staff. 

They managed to somehow get lucky enough to avoid seeing any people until Ben opened the door onto a stairwell that would lead them down into the starboard hangar. That was when things went south again, and they ran into a group of men in flight deck uniforms, who immediately pulled blasters on them the moment they saw Ben. A sad look formed on his face, but he didn’t hesitate to ignite his saber. 

Before he could strike them down, though, Rey ignited her own blade, slashing through all three of them in one fell swoop before stepping over the remains. “Let’s go,” she said, feeling his awe through the bond as she jumped down another set of stairs, then turned to face them. 

Ben caught up to her then, and pushed ahead, once again leading the charge as they made their way out of the cursed Supremacy II. None of them said another word as the married couple deactivated their sabers, and fled down several more flights of stairs before Ben stopped at a chrome lined door, and pressed his ear against it. 

The other four waited with held breath as they watched him reach out into the force, feeling for signs of life just beyond that door with his mind before he looked back at them, and nodded. “It’s clear enough,” he said, then he stood up straighter. “But we better find a ship quickly.”

“I won’t have any problem with that,” Poe assured him, then he glanced at Finn. “Be my co-pilot?”

“Always.”

The two men exchanged stupidly broad smiles, then they nodded at Ben. “Open the door,” the commander said, then there was another pause, one last moment of hesitation, before he pushed the door open, and they walked out into the hangar. As Ben had said a moment earlier, there wasn’t anyone in the immediate vicinity, but the four in First Order uniforms gathered around him anyway, hoping to hide his civilian clothing in spite of the shorter statures boasted by each of them. 

“Which one are we going to take?” Finn asked quietly as they ducked behind an unguarded TIE fighter, each and every one of them surveying the options before them as they watched the various droids and personnel make their way across the Supremacy II’s deck. “We don’t have a lot of options.”

“Let’s see if we can find a shuttle. We can’t all fit in a TIE and they won’t go that far anyway…” Poe paused, then he turned, and pointed a finger at Ben. “You were the Supreme Leader up until two days ago.”

“Unfortunately.”

“So you had your own personal escape shuttle… Is there any chance that’s in here?” 

Ben’s jaw fell slack, and he nodded. “Yeah, it’s on the other side of the hangar… It’s my old shuttle.”

“Upsilon class?”

“Yeah, why?”

Poe looked like he was on the edge of squealing with delight as he gave Ben a broad smile, and clapped him on the shoulder. “If we weren’t both taken men, I’d kiss you,” he said, then he peaked around the other side of the TIE, and a wicked grin burst out onto his face. “Okay… there’s officers everywhere and stormtroopers guarding the upper decks… They might not notice us, but if they do… I’m gonna need Kylo and Rey blocking blaster fire while the rest of us forge an offensive path. We managed to make it out of that throne room alive, but…” He shook his head. “If any of you die, I swear on the force itself I will kill you.”

“But won’t that be pointl—” Rose started, then Poe held up a hand to stop her from talking. 

“Let’s go.” And with that, Rey and Ben had their lightsabers at the ready again, and all five of them headed out from behind the TIE’s shelter, and into the main part of the hangar. Once she rounded the curve of the TIE, she could see the shuttle that had once taken her to Starkiller base, sitting patiently in wait for the next time it was needed. 

For the first thirty seconds of the walk across the hangar, no one noticed them. In fact, they managed to make it all the way to where they stood in the shadow of the ship’s black silhouette, but then a shout sounded out from somewhere behind them, and Rey flinched as she caught sight of an officer pointing at them while looking in the direction of a crew running maintenance on another ship nearby. Immediately, the world descended into chaos again, and blaster fire rained down on them almost too quickly for her and Ben to stop it. The first few bolts had to be deflected with her lightsaber, and not even a second later, red flashed in her peripheral vision as well as he joined in on the fight.

Stormtroopers from above began to fire down on them, and their friends did their best to return fire, but for every one of them they knocked out, another five bolts had to be deflected. It was another miracle that no one was killed on their side, or at least, no one had been killed up until that point. Rey didn’t want to hope too hard for them to make it out completely unscathed. 

As they closed the remaining distance to the shuttle, Ben lowered the on ramp with the force, not even sparing the ship a glance as he and Rey sent blaster fire hurling backward into the men who were effectively just the First Order’s lackeys. Screams sounded out from each man who fell, causing Rey to wince as she wondered just how long she’d be haunted by that sound, or if any of those people could’ve been spared. 

She didn’t have time to think too hard on it though, they had to get the hell out of there. As she and Ben continued to fight off the troopers and officers, they backed up the ramp into the shuttle, closing it off mere seconds later to avoid the onslaught of blaster fire that continued to try in vain to take their lives. The moment the door was closed, they hauled ass to the cockpit, and didn’t look back. There wasn’t time for that, either. 

Around them, she could hear the Supremacy II descending into chaos through the walls of Ben’s shuttle as they made their way through it. By the time they got into the cockpit, Poe was already turning the ship on, flicking switches and pushing levers until they were slowly rising into the air, blaster fire bouncing harmlessly off of the windows as the commander attempted to send the ship rushing forward. “Everyone hold onto something!”

Ben, Rey, and Rose all crouched to the ground while Finn hopped into the co-pilot seat, and the five of them braced themselves for the moment the shuttle rushed out of the hangar, and into the vast realm of space beyond its doors. 

For a few seconds, it surged toward the hangar’s exit, but very quickly, they came to a halt, and if they weren’t bracing themselves against the floor, the three who weren’t sitting in the pilot seats while the ship flew would’ve tumbled over. Fear coursed through Rey’s veins, alarm filling her voice as she looked up over the seats. “What’s going on?”

Poe grunted in frustration as he tried to push a lever forward, and he looked at Finn. “History’s repeating itself.”

“Shit, what the hell did we do last time?” Finn asked, then he and Poe burst into a conversation about thrusters and ways to power the engines to override whatever was tethering them to the Supremacy II, but it was almost embarrassingly short lived. 

Beside her, Ben cleared his throat, then he stood up, gripping the back of the pilot’s seat as he closed his eyes. She could feel him reaching out through the force, which hummed around them with activity as he found the tether, and snapped it. The was sound louder than any weapon she’d ever heard — at least, of the ones that weren’t explosive — but before she could process the ringing in her ears, the ship lurched forward, and she watched her husband grip the back of Poe’s seat tightly as they zoomed through the hangar. 

The commander whooped loudly as the Supremacy II’s interior became a blur around them, giving way very quickly to the little white dots that were the galaxy’s stars. A stupid grin erupted on Rey’s face as Ben sat back down on the floor with her and Rose, then he took her hand in his as they finally, officially, broke free of the First Order’s hold. “We did it,” she breathed, lacing her fingers through his. 

All he did in response was grin, and scoop her into his arms to hold her tight in a proper embrace as Poe and Finn went over flight commands in the background. “We did it,” he repeated, then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and lowered his voice so that she was the only one who could hear him speak, “Rey, I...”

She interrupted him before he could say it, cutting him off by pressing a kiss to the base of his neck. “I know.”

While she couldn’t see it, Rey felt Ben’s smile through their bond as sheer joy washed over them both, and she snaked her arms around his waist to pull him a little closer as they sailed out toward the stars. She barely even noticed when Poe turned back, and spoke again, only just registering the words, “Hang on everybody, we’re going into hyperspace,” as they were said, then she clung to Ben a little more tightly as the stars outside became brilliant streaks of light. 

The moment the ship stabilized, Rey pulled back from Ben, not caring that there were three other people in the room as she pulled him in for another slow kiss. As he returned it, she allowed herself to celebrate their victory, and when his fingers began to gently card themselves through her hair, she could feel their delight singing in the bond. Both of them smiled into the kiss, saying all the things they couldn’t put into words with it as they sailed onward to safety. 

At some point, the universe melted away entirely, and Rey allowed herself to revel in the fact that he was there, that they’d gotten him out, and that even though the Resistance base was many, many light years away, she’d managed to finally find her way back home. 


	18. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi gang! So the count went up again, but that's cause they're both sort of epilogues/endings... The next chapter is what's truly going to feel like a ending to me and after that... it's over. But for now, we're kicking off this HEA with a bang.

The journey home was going to be a long one, and shortly after they entered hyperspace Rey and Ben had retreated into the internal passenger compartment, resting together on a sort of bench that lined the walls of the room. It wasn’t the sort of thing that was meant for lounging or lying down on, but they’d managed to make it work so that her head was resting on the juncture of his arm and shoulder, and he had an arm wrapped around her, his hand lazily tracing shapes in her skin. She hummed contentedly as she pressed her body into his side, and he placed a tender kiss to the crown of her head. 

“I feel like this might be a dream,” she admitted after a while. 

“Why?”

“We won… and it… it started to feel like we’d never win.” She tilted her head up to meet his eyes when she felt them staring down at her, and offered him a sad smile. “And other than marrying you… I haven’t had a lot of good lately.”

“Neither have I,” he replied, taking in a deep, slow breath before he continued. “But we did it, and it’s no dream, Rey.” He reached over with his free hand, and gripped hers, weaving their fingers together before shaking their newly joined hands in the air. “It’s real.”

At this, she was beaming at him. “Yeah, it is,” she replied, then she looked around them, taking in their surroundings. “Isn’t this… isn’t this the ship you took me in when we…?”

Embarrassment, regret, and remorse filled the bond then, and she looked back at her husband to find him wincing at himself. “Yeah, it is. I’m… I… I did what I thought I had to do. I’m sorry.”

“Ben, we’re past that point now…” She shook her head. “I’m not angry with you. Our whole first meeting was a violent mess. I didn’t know who you were, you didn’t know who I was, and we both… we were on opposite sides last time we were here… we didn’t know what we know now.”

He made a small sound of acknowledgement, then she glanced up again, studying his face curiously for a moment. She was midway through mapping out the constellations formed by the little marks on his face when she laughed, and his eyebrows furrowed curiously. “What?”

“Nothing, just… for a man who wanted the past to die so badly, you’re not doing the best job of it.”

Ben almost laughed, but the sound fell flat just before it left his lips. “Some things are easier said than done.”

“Yeah,” she breathed, then they fell quiet for a minute, just basking in one another’s presence as the shuttle sailed quietly on through hyperspace. 

It really hit her then just how much they’d accomplished. With Hux gone, they’d effectively cut off the head of the beast, and with no other legitimate leadership, the Order was about to flounder terribly. It’d still take a while longer to completely rid the galaxy of its grasp, but for now, the First Order had been sunk to its lowest point, and she suspected after just a few more weeks or months of fighting, they’d be gone for good. 

The war would be over, and she'd finally get the chance to just live life with Ben and her friends at her side, she’d finally be at peace. 

Thinking of the future brought a smile to her face as she held Ben close, and suddenly curiosity drifted over the bond. “What are you thinking about?”

“The future… how when this is all over, we’ll actually get to  _ be _ married instead of just communicating on opposite sides of the galaxy… or meeting fleetingly only for you to get captured.”

“Hmm… at least I know I’ll have you to rescue me,” he pointed out, then as she giggled helplessly, he raised a hand to caress her cheek. “But that is a victory… and when we get back… we should celebrate it properly.”

Rey grinned at him then, her eyes drifting briefly down to his lips as she thought of how to respond to that. Of course, what was supposed to be a brief flicker quickly turned into a lingering stare, and she became increasingly aware of just how full and red his lips were. A shiver ran down her spine as he pressed them together in that specific way he always did, then he took the thumb resting on her cheek, and she felt its touch skim over the curve of her own lower lip. “ _ Ben…”  _ she said his name in the form of a sigh, her breath ghosting over his fingers as he began to move closer to her. 

Rey rolled back a little as Ben shifted on his side, watching him there entire time as he began to lean in for what may have looked like just another kiss from the outside, but they both knew it was going to be much more than that. She could hear the sound of his breathing quicken as his hand slid back to caress the base of her skull, and as her own breath caught in her chest, she could hear her pulse pounding in her ears. 

At one point in time, she’d wondered if kissing him would always make her feel like that, but now as he drew closer to her, his lips just a hair’s breadth away from hers, she knew the answer was undoubtedly yes. It was always going to make her head spin every time, and she was never going to be ready for it. 

When he finally kissed her this time, it was so gentle, soft, and unspeakably tender she could feel every tiny trace of emotions welling within him through their bond. As his lips caressed hers, she could feel his joy, relief, and unconditional love for her with every movement they made. Ben was a beacon of both sides of the force, and she could feel his lighter side pushing through to shine brilliantly as he gently rolled them over so that she was on her back, and he was lying gently on top of her. He placed an arm beside them to prevent his weight from crushing her into the hard bench, but in that moment, with all that was going on, she would’ve been perfectly content with it. 

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss by pulling him down just a little closer to her, and allowing her tongue to sweep over the skin of his lower lip, earning herself a quiet, low moan that brought a smile to her face. At that sound, mischief filled their connection, and she felt him reach a hand between them, snaking it up from her waist to the collar of the stolen first order jacket she wore.  A few seconds later, his fingers found its zipper, and this time, it was him who was grinning into the kiss. 

A contented hum escaped her as he began to lower the zipper down over her chest, his fingers skimming over the valley between her breasts as he guided it down until she heard the soft sound of it unlatching, and the two halves of her jacket fell to her side. Ben’s hand immediately returned to glide up from her lower abdomen, and she felt him press down gently over the skin of her hip bone when he stopped, and broke the kiss in shock. A smirk stretched the corners of her mouth as she watched him look down to where the jacket had exposed her almost completely bare upper half, and a soft little gasp escaped him as he took in the planes of her muscles, eyes darkening with  _ want  _ as they skimmed up her bare skin until they reached the band that bound her breasts. 

“We didn’t have much time to change when we rescued you,” she said, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks at his wandering gaze. “A shirt sort of felt… unnecessary.”

“You could’ve kept your own shirt on beneath it, Rey.”

“Would you have wanted me to?”

He shook his head, laughing quietly as he leaned down to press a kiss to the line of her jaw. “No.” Another kiss further down, this time at the top of her neck. “Absolutely.” Another over her pulse point. “Not.” A final kiss was pressed to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, then he moved back up to her lips, kissing her a little more forcefully than he had been previously in that spectacularly head spinning way of his. 

She nearly forgot how to think as his hands drifted down again, fingers reaching for the button of the black slacks she’d stolen from the Order’s laundry room, then sliding it smoothly out of the clasp. As his hands then proceeded to undo the zipper below, Rey reached for the fabric of his jacket, not wanting to be outdone by her husband as he continued undressing her. 

Two could play at that game. 

The sounds of their kisses — which now varied steadily between soft and intense, and sometimes straddled the line between both —  filled the room as they slowly removed each other’s clothing. Once she had Ben free of his jacket, Rey’s hands drifted down to the bottom of his shirt, and it didn’t take long for him to get the message. He broke their kiss to sit back on his knees, removing his shirt with one hand before he paused to stare down at her, to take in the sight of his half naked wife where she lay between his legs. 

In that tiny split second of hesitation, she surged forward, sitting up so that her nimble fingers could grasp at the button of  _ his _ trousers. With one hand, she worked at stripping him of his clothing, but with the other, she wrapped it around his waist, and pulled him close, pressing kisses over the bare skin of his chest while he gasped beneath her touch. Her name fell from him in a shaky exhale, his head tilting back as she began to lower his trousers and pants over the swell of his ass while she took her kisses down to the muscles of his upper abdomen. “Rey…  _ kriff…” _

All she gave him in response was a shrug, then when she finished her work, she grabbed him by one shoulder, and pulled him back over her as she reached for the waistband of her own trousers with her free hand. Catching on quickly to what she was doing, Ben worked to help her divest herself of her clothing, both of them kicking he offending material over the side of the bed before they settled back into their original position. 

The gold in Ben’s eyes had never been more prominent than it was in that moment when he was looking down at her, and as a few strands of dark hair fell down into his face, she reached up to brush them away before pulling him back down in another kiss. With virtually all of their clothing gone, there was no mistaking the intent behind this one. This time they both knew precisely where it was going, both knew what every brush of their lips meant. 

Ben’s hand glided up the bare skin of her waist until it reached the fabric of her breast band, then his fingers began carefully undoing the work she’d done that morning, and she moaned softly as they kissed. His fingers worked quickly, but not so fast it felt as if he was rushing, and her own began to thread themselves through his thick hair, combing through his waves while he finished freeing her chest of fabric. Unlike the rest of their clothing, he simply let that pool beside her, then he pulled back from their kiss, and this time it was him who brushed her hair back behind her ear. “Are… are you sure?”

“Ben, its you. I’m always going to be sure,” she promised him, then his cheeks flushed pink, a sense of slight embarrassment and flattery filling the bond, and he nodded, kissing her again softly as they sank back into the bench. “But… we might want to be quiet… I don’t know how voices carry in this thing.”

He paused a moment, then he looked around the room for a moment before he shrugged. “I don’t think sound travels much in here, but… you may be right.”

Another laugh escaped the pair, then Ben pressed a kiss to her forehead. “How much time do we have before we land?”

“Probably another six… seven hours?” She let a hand slide down, placing it gently on his chest. “We have time.”

“Good,” he said, then he was kissing her again, and she was returning it with just as much fire as she was receiving. 

Ben’s hands drifted over her skin once more, the kiss growing increasingly heated as they made love for the second time, and while she’d always look back on their first time as absolutely perfect, their second time — third if she chose to count the dream they’d shared in the throne room — made her feel more at peace. Their second time didn’t have to be rushed like their first since they didn’t have to worry about an impending deadline — no, this time, he wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was she. 

When he entered her the second time, both of them shuddered from the way it felt, both clutched one another a little more tightly as if they were afraid for a second that they would lose each other again after this. That they wouldn’t get to have the life they’d wanted when all of it was over. It took a couple of seconds before they both remembered they wouldn’t ever have to lose the other again. This time they were permanently together if they chose to be, and Rey had a good feeling that would be the path they went down. 

She grasped at her husband’s hair as he continued pressing slowly into her, moving just as gently as he had the first time while she pulled away from their kiss to gasp his name at the feeling he brought her. There had never been a time when she felt more content, more at peace, than she did with Ben, and a tiny smile rose to her face at the little moan he gave as he finally stopped moving, seeming to remember the limit they’d set a few days earlier. This time, though, Rey shook her head. “I’m okay,” she promised him, running her fingers through the waves of his hair. “You can keep going.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’ll be fine,” she said, then she pulled him in for another kiss as she hooked one of her legs around one of his, and pulled him further inside of her with a little nudge. Another obscene sounding moan escaped him, and she could tell he was hoping as much as she was that the interior of his shuttle didn’t allow voices to carry. 

They waited for a second after that, neither of them moving as they waited for a sign from the cockpit that they’d been caught. After a minute, it became apparent that even if they  _ had  _ been heard, they weren’t going to be acknowledged, and there was no sound coming from the front of the ship — not even vague whispers or giggles. Once it became clear that they wouldn’t be interrupted, Ben looked back down at Rey, then he waited until she gave him a nod before he pulled back a little, then he thrust gently back in, setting a slow starting pace as one of his hands cupped her jaw, and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. 

A tiny giggle left her then, and the smile remained on her face as he did it again, only this time he pressed the kiss to her cheek, and then began to trail his kisses lower down onto her neck with each thrust. At one point, Rey’s other leg hooked around his, and she began to meet him with each time he pressed into her, causing her laughter to progressively become a series of loud, filthy sounding moans that almost seemed to echo around the passenger compartment. 

“Ben…” she breathed, her head tilting back to allow his mouth better access to her neck while she felt her climax slowly start to build. He hummed against her skin in response, then sucked another mark into it that she prayed would be covered up by her clothing — she didn’t need his mother knowing exactly what they’d been doing again — and pulled back from her neck, only to meet her lips again in a searing, passionate kiss that had her head reeling anew. 

Rey returned it with a vigor she hadn’t known she possessed, the moment becoming both sweet and heated all in one as the slow pace they’d set for themselves grew faster and faster by the second. Their bond hummed in the nonexistent space between them, her whole body feeling like a bolt of lightning, sparking and crackling with electricity as she and Ben brought themselves closer to the edge. 

After a while, she could feel the pressure coiling in her lower abdomen, could sense it doing the same in her husband with each time he pressed deeper inside of her, and she broke their kiss to gasp for breath as her orgasm began to build. “Ben, I’m gonna… I’m gonna come,” she warned him. 

“Then do it,” he replied, and a little smirk blossomed on his face on his next thrust. All that did was cause her to laugh again as the pressure building inside of her finally snapped, and she came harder than she ever had, her hands fisting themselves tightly enough in his hair she wagered it hurt as her laughter became a series of sharp gasps for air. 

She held him more tightly than she ever had as he continued his movements through her orgasm, his own following soon after with a short, sharp cry of her name as he too fell over the edge. They managed to keep going until they were both completely spent, the only sounds either of them were capable of making were soft little pants and moans as they came down from their respective highs, and slowly began to come back to reality. 

When it was all over, Ben pulled back a little ways to look down at her, and she caught sight of the sheen of sweat that had developed on his brow, and reached up a hand to gently brush it away. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his lips in response, and he leaned forward to capture her lips again in another open mouthed kiss, both of them moaning softly into it as they laid there on top of each other. 

The kiss, though, was fleeting. Both of them were far too out of breath to consider attempting anything longer than two seconds, and both were equally exhausted from both the intense escape from the Supremacy II and from what had just gone down in his shuttle’s passenger compartment. 

A wave of peace washed over their bond as Ben gently pulled out of her, then he rolled onto his side next to his wife, taking her into his arms again as he pressed a tiny kiss to the back of her head. “I think…” He took a few more heated breaths before he spoke again. “I think we’re getting good at this.”

Another laugh escaped her as she took one of his hands in hers, Rey’s smaller hand trying and failing to cover his larger one as their fingers laced over her chest. “I’m sure we’ll still look back on ourselves and laugh in ten years.”

“I think that’s kind of the point,” he said, then she felt his other hand come around to wipe a bead of sweat off her shoulder. 

“The point of what?”

“I don’t know… of marriage itself I guess…” He paused, inquisition taking over their connection for a moment as he thought over what to say next. “Finding someone you can see yourself with in that amount of time… someone you’ll be able to laugh with about how awkward you were the first time.”

“I thought neither of us knew much about what it meant. When we talked… before I went back to Cantonica; before we remembered… we both said we had no clue…”

“We didn’t know what we meant to one another then… I think…” She heard him swallow nervously, then his voice went quieter, dropping low as he spoke again. “I think we know now… Rey, I know.”

“Me too,” she replied, then they fell quiet, but she could feel their mutual elation over it all drifting through the bond between them as they laid there in the afterglow. 

As the silence continued to fall over them, Rey closed her eyes, comforted by the warmth of the shared body heat between them as sleep soon began to drift over her. Just before she fell asleep, she could sense her husband’s constantly roaring mind grow quiet, and the familiar, gentle sound of his soft little snores filled her ears. The morning she’d first noticed that sound and laughed him awake came to her mind, causing her to grip his hand a little more tightly in hers as she ran her thumb over the ring on his finger at the memory. That had been just after the conversation they’d had about marriage and what they’d both wanted from it. Neither one had said anything yet about their feelings for one another, and both had still thought they were going to annul the marriage. Both had thought they’d just go right back to fighting one another when it was all over. 

As evidenced by the very much still naked Ben Solo sleeping beside her, that hadn’t wound up being the case, and she’d never been more grateful toward not doing something in her life. When she finally sank into the depths of sleep a few minutes later, her heart felt more full than ever, and a smile was still tugging at the corners of her mouth until the moment she was wrapped in dreams.

A few hours later, Rey woke up to a loud banging on the door of the passenger compartment. Groans left the lips of both herself and the man who had been sleeping beside her as Poe Dameron’s voice boomed at them from behind the door. “Ben, Rey, put your clothes on! We’re about to come out of hyperspace!” There was then a loud  **_THWACK_ ** followed by a cry of, “Ow!” that sounded like it came from their commander. 

The married couple lying on the bench both laughed sleepily as they sat up, and rubbed the crust from the corners of their eyes. “You think he knew or was he just making a joke?” Rey asked sheepishly as she reached for the trousers she’d shucked off earlier. 

“With him? Could be either one,” Ben muttered as he crawled off the bench to find his shirt and her jacket, offering Rey a rather lovely view of his ass as he bent down to retrieve them from the floor. 

She laughed as he tossed her the jacket she’d stolen, catching it just after she’d done the clasp on her trousers. “You’re catching on quick,” she observed as she reached behind herself for her breast band, redoing the work she’d carefully done that morning as Ben put on his clothes. 

“Not quick enough, I’m sure,” he replied as he did the clasp of  _ his _ trousers. “Rey, once the Resistance realizes who I am…”

She shushed him as she stood up, securing the band around her chest as she walked over to him, and took his face in her hands. “Ben, a lot of people already know what you’ve done.” She leaned his head down, then, and pressed a short, close mouthed kiss to his lips. “And when they find out you killed Hux… that you destroyed the last of the First Order’s legitimate leadership… they’ll understand. I’m not saying everyone’s going to love you, but… they will be grateful for that at least.” 

“But everything else I’ve done, Rey… they won’t forget that… as much as I want to, I won’t either.” His eyes grew sad as they looked down at her, and he shook his head before he closed them entirely. “What if…?”

“Stop,” she whispered, then her thumb wiped away a tear she hadn’t even seen developing as she began to gently stroke his hair with her other hand. “Ben, it’s going to be okay. Now that Hux is dead, we’ve all but won the war. We won’t have to be at the base for long, and when it’s over… we’ll go out in the galaxy somewhere no one knows our faces. We’ll go there, and we’ll settle down, make a home for ourselves… or maybe we’ll grow old together traversing the galaxy. I spent most of my life wasting away on Jakku for nothing… now… maybe it’s time I got out there and saw everything.”

“You’d really want to do that with me?” he asked, seeming to still not believe the lengths she’d go to for him. 

“Ben, I meant every word of my vows, and I know you did, too. We’re… we’re in this forever, and I don’t know much, but… I know whatever comes after this, we’ll make it through.”

At this, Ben rested a hand over one of hers. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Another laugh echoed off the walls from her, then she kissed him again, keeping it short and sweet before she pulled back. “We need to finish getting dressed. I don’t want Poe coming in and finding us half naked.”

Ben gave her a tiny snort in response, then he threw his shirt over his head, and reached down for his jacket. They then continued dressing in silence, putting on their clothes then they adjusted one another’s so that they looked presentable. “You ready to go in there?” he asked, tilting his head in the direction of the cockpit. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Rey replied, then she slipped her hand into his, and the two made their way back into the cockpit. She held her breath as she opened the door, trying to keep her face neutral to the best of her ability as they walked inside. 

The moment the door closed behind them, three pairs of eyes all snapped in their direction, staring at the couple as they made their way further in, then sat on the floor next to Rose. As the brilliant blue light of hyperspace passed them by, a smirk grew on their pilot’s face. “That’s quite a sm—“ 

“Poe,” Finn said sternly, then he shook his head. 

“And we’re going back out in three…” Poe’s fingers tapped a series of buttons, and he gripped a lever overhead. “Two…” she watched the smirk become a full fledged grin. “One…” and with that, he pulled the lever, and the stars turned back into little white dots instead of brilliant specks of light, and the sky became itself again. “Now to radio the base… I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea from this ship.”

At this, the other four laughed nervously while Poe commed the base, and Rey glanced down to where her hand was joined with Ben’s with a relieved sigh. “We’ll be okay, I promise.”

Ben rested his head on top of hers, and she felt traces of anxiety leave him through the bond. “I know.”

“Finn… if you and Poe ever get married… please don’t act like…” Rose started, the warning at the end of her sentence remaining unspoken as the other four in the cockpit practically guffawed. 

After a while, the laughter died down, and Poe was communicating with the base again as they broke through the atmosphere of the planet they’d been calling home for the last several months. The energy of the room shifted then; the air full of excitement as their pilot brought the shuttle down over the forest surrounding the base. Ben’s grip on her hand tightened, but she whispered quiet reassurances to him as they continued their descent. Her thumb ran gently over his until the moment they touched ground, and their commander was shutting off the ship’s engines. 

Once they stopped moving, everyone in the cockpit fell quiet; five pairs of nervous eyes darted about and looked away as soon as they met. Rey felt her heart racing in her chest as she tightened her grip on Ben’s hand ever so briefly, then she let out a shaky breath. “Let’s go,” she said, then they all stood up in near perfect unison, and made their way out of the room. 

As nervous as it made them both feel, she and Ben led the group out, both holding their breath as they let down the ramp leading out of the ship, and light from outside the hangar poured in. She raised her hand to defend her eyes against the brightness, waiting until they adjusted a little before she led Ben down the ramp, the others’ footsteps forming an unsynchronized beat that accompanied them until they reached the ground, finding only one person was waiting for them at the bottom of that ramp. 

“Leia,” Poe breathed from somewhere behind her. 

The General nodded in acknowledgement. “Welcome back, all of you…” she began, then her eyes landed on her son as Rey and Ben came to a stop in front of her. “And thank you.”

“It’s good to be home again,” Poe answered as he, Finn, and Rose stood by their side. “We weren’t sure we’d make it, or if we’d make any difference in that mission…” He paused for a second, then he looked over at Ben. “Until he killed General Hux.”

She felt the man beside her tense when he was singled out, but when she spared him a glance, he simply nodded. “I did what I had to do.”

“You made the right call,” Leia assured him. “Without the General the First Order has no leader. It’ll take them a while to reassemble themselves, but…”

“We’ll strike them down before they get that chance,” Poe finished. “Whenever you give the call, we’ll be ready… just say the word.”

The General gave him a dry laugh in response. “Not yet, we’ll need a few more days to get a proper plan together. In the meantime, get some rest, and that’s an order, commander.”

Poe grinned. “I think I can manage that, General,” he said, then he tugged on Finn’s hand. “Let’s get some dinner?”

“Definitely, I’m starving,” he replied, then the two men bowed their heads briefly toward Leia, and began making their exit from the hangar. 

“Wait for me!” Rose cried, then she ran out after them, and the three made their way back into the base, leaving Ben and Rey alone with Leia for the second time. 

The three of them looked at one another somewhat nervously, then Ben let go of Rey’s hand, and stepped forward. “Mother, I—“

Leia didn’t let him get another word out, she simply stepped forward, and took her son into her arms. A sense of overwhelming relief and delight surrounded them both, and after a few seconds, she felt and saw Ben’s emotional walls melt away, and he wrapped his arms around his mother in turn as she watched his shoulders shake with heavy sobs. 

All Rey could do was stand there and bear witness to the scene as mother and son properly reunited. Technically they’d all seen one another days ago, and  _ technically _ they’d talked about what divided them and what they planned to do in the future, but back then they’d assumed they’d have to separate for a while. They’d assumed this meeting would be under different circumstances where he hadn’t just come frighteningly close with death. They’d assumed it would happen much later, and that if they met again before everything was over and done with, then they’d meet fleetingly and then never know when they’d meet after. 

Neither of them could’ve known that they’d be in each other’s arms again just days later. Neither of them could’ve known that they’d ever be able to see each other again in the first place. When Ben had destroyed Luke’s temple, had he ever thought he’d see his mother again after that? Had he ever thought that an amicable reunion like this one was possible? She knew Leia hadn’t. She’d thought her son was gone, but… Rey recalled the last words the General had told her from Luke. No one was ever truly gone, and oh, how right that was. 

She could hear Ben’s murmured apologies for everything he’d ever done as he held onto Leia, could hear the sound of her whispering her forgiveness or telling him she was never angry in the first place. The whole thing went on for what may have from the inside felt like an eternity, but from the outside was only a matter of minutes. By the time it ended, both he and his mother were red eyed, but nodding at one another in understanding. 

“Go,” Leia said after she and her son had been staring at one another for a good few seconds. “Both of you. Go get some rest… we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”

“General, are you alright?” Rey asked as Ben began to walk back over to her side. 

“I’ll be fine,” Leia assured her, then she looked up at her son one last time. “You go on, Ben. I’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too, but it’s in the past. We can’t change that now. You told me that.”

Ben gave her a sad smile, then he reached for his wife’s hand, and she squeezed it as soon as her fingers laced themselves with his. “I think we had orders to rest.”

She laughed weakly. “I think you may be right,” she said, then she nodded to the General before she led her husband out of the hangar, leaving Leia alone to process what had just happened as she and Ben made their way to her bunk — to  _ their  _ bunk. 

Both of them were quiet throughout the walk, neither speaking, but also saying volumes through the mixed emotions that drifted through the bond. As they drew closer, they let go of one another’s hands, their arms slipping around the other’s backs as the time passed, and they held one another at the waist. Rey could sense calm slowly drifting back into him as they rounded a corner, leading them onto the very corridor where her bunk was waiting for her to come home. 

The first words she spoke to him after those minutes of silence were, “It’s here,” as they approached her door, then she brought them to a stop in front of her door, allowing him a moment to stare at it — to memorize its appearance and location — before she pushed it open, and brought Ben properly into her space for the first time. “It’s not much… but it’s more than I’ve ever had.”

He was hesitant as he walked inside, but he nodded appreciatively as he took in her space, and closed the door behind himself as she led him over to her bunk. “There’s a bed, a wardrobe…” she continued, then she pointed to the far side of the room with a blush creeping up her cheeks. “A fresher… All the bare necessities.”

“Is that the fresher where I…?”

“Where you caught me without my shirt? Yes,” she replied, then she cast her eyes downward, knowing her cheeks were flushing completely pink at the memory. Back then, they’d been married for a day, and neither of them really knew what to do when the tables were turned. Sure, she’d been fairly confident in the end, and almost cocky, but her heart had been pounding the whole time, she remembered. She wasn’t going to forget that feeling any time soon, even if she had made love to him two — or three if she counted the dream — times at this point.

“I didn’t know what to do when I saw you like that, though… it certainly helped me understand better what happened when I did the same to you.”

“Oh?” she asked, keeping her voice casual, but allowing a coy sort of undertone to slip in beneath it all. “Did you?” She began to casually make her way across the room towards the fresher. 

“I did.”

Rey opened the fresher door, then she looked back at him. “We probably ought to clean ourselves off, speaking of my fresher.”

Blinking at her in mild disbelief, Ben stepped forward. “ _ Rey _ …”

“I’m being serious, Ben,” she replied, stepping back into the room where just about two weeks earlier, they’d sheepishly teased one another about walking in while the other was shirtless. “We need a kriffing shower.” 

“You’re being bossy again,” he told her, then he stepped into the room with her, and she gave him a small giggle as she walked over to the fresher, opened its door, and immediately turned it on. 

Warm water sprayed out onto the fresher floor, and she backed out of it before turning to look at her husband, who was gazing down at her with the softest look in his eyes she’d ever seen, and her heart nearly melted again at the sight. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, then he reached for the sleeves of his jacket, and began to strip down again. 

Not quite believing him, Rey did the same, both of them removing layers until there was nothing left to cover them, and she finally stepped into the fresher, holding out a hand for his. The corners of her mouth tugged gently upward as she looked at him, waiting patiently for him to take her extended hand. “Join me.” 

His whole body shivered at her words, but he took her hand, allowing her to guide him into the fresher before he closed the door, and stepped forward to join her under the spray. The two looked at one another for a couple of seconds, then Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close beneath the warm water as she sighed contentedly. “I know I said this wasn’t much before, but… it’s a lot now that you’re here.”

He hummed his acknowledgement, then he pulled back a little, just enough to look at her face as he took it in his hands. “The moment this is over, we’ll do what you said. We’ll go out somewhere and find our own home. Even if it takes us years. But…”

“But…?”

“Now that I’m here… with you? Even if you wanted to call this place home forever, I’d be perfectly alright with that.”

A smile blossomed on her face. “I don’t plan to, but I appreciate the idea.”

“Maybe not, but the offer still stands,” he said, then he shook his head. “Whatever it is you want to do.”

“Now you’re making  _ me  _ wonder what  _ I  _ did to deserve  _ you.” _

At this, they both laughed, then Ben brushed a strand of her wet hair back behind her ear, and sighed. “So the moment we win the war, you want to just head off toward the stars?”

“That sounds lovely, I just have one request.”

“Anything.”

“Everywhere we go, I want to see green,” she told him, and he looked confused for a second before seeming to remember she’d grown up in Jakku, and there hadn’t exactly been a bounty of the color there. “I don’t care about anything else.”

“I think we can manage that,” he promised her, then he kissed her forehead. “The minute this is all over, we’re going everywhere green. It’s decided.”

“I can’t wait,” she told him, adjusting her hands so that they now rested on his chest, rivulets of water streaming over her fingers as she stared up into his eyes. “Now we just have to win.”

“We will.” He paused then, wiping a stray droplet of water from her lip with his thumb before he slowly began to lean down, and captured her lips with his once more. 

Rey softened against this latest kiss, tangling her fingers in Ben’s increasingly damp hair as water poured over and between them. In spite of the steam rising all around the pair, the kiss never grew heated even as time began to truly pass. All she could think about as they kissed was how wonderfully impossible it was. 

Just weeks ago they’d been in denial about their feelings and pretending they meant nothing to one another, that they were enemies. Now they were openly in love and kissing in her fresher. For someone who had once had virtually nothing in her life, she now had everything she needed, and it was almost impossible to fathom how she’d gotten this lucky from a shitty, stupid, and drunken Canto Bight wedding. 

That wedding meant everything to her now, as did the man she’d married.  _ And in all my years growing up, I didn’t know what such a thing like love was,  _ she’d told him at their wedding, but as she kissed him then, as rivulets of water flowed down over their skin, she had never been more grateful to have figured it out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man it's going to hurt me posting the final epilogue but... I'll have to do it soon enough. Gotta suffer through finals first, and so this may be the last chapter y'all see for like a week and a half unless I get my butt in gear one last time before it's all over. See y'all then.


	19. Endings and Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it for the main story. Only an epilogue to go now. *cries loudly* 
> 
> See you in the epilogue babes.

Over the next few weeks, chaos reigned on the base and across the galaxy as the Resistance finally gained the upper hand in the war. Thanks to Ben’s efforts — to all of them, really, but he’d dealt the final blow — the First Order was a creature without its head. With no supreme leader to command the armies and wield their rule over its government, all that was left were a series of battles that their opponents were guaranteed to lose.

And lose they did.

Within the first two weeks, half of the remaining big ships still floating out in the abyss in support of the Order surrendered to Leia’s army. It wasn’t long after that the rest soon fell the same way, some surrendering, and some sections offering an alliance, but all abandoning their cause in favor of their lives.

Rey and the others all put up their best fight every time they went out with the other soldiers; each of them wanting desperately for the violence to be over. On the nights that it wasn’t, disappointment and sorrow filled the five of them, their heads hung low as they realized they’d have to go back another day — they’d have to risk one of them leaving and never returning.

By the will of the force, none of them suffered such a cruel fate, and the last of the First Order’s core military surrendered to them just another two weeks later. Sure, there were still a few small, straggling groups trying desperately to gather support to defeat their once seemingly laughable enemy, but they would be dealt with as the time passed. For the time being, the war had been won. The bloodshed and violence was over. Darkness had been balanced out by light, and the time to begin recovery had finally come.

When the last of the Resistance ships came back to base in the early hours of dawn, everyone was far too exhausted to celebrate their final victory. In spite of that tiredness, though, each and every one of them went to their bunks with smiles on their faces, but none looked more beaten down yet delighted than those of the newly married Solos.

In the aftermath of the battle, she’d thought maybe they’d resume their mission to consummate their marriage everywhere they went and celebrate their win in the most intimate way they knew how, but when they got into her bunk… she didn’t even remember falling asleep. It must’ve been as soon as she’d hit the pillow, she wagered as she came slowly into wakefulness the next morning. The thought nearly made her chuckle as she opened her eyes, then instantly regretted it.

The sunlight streaming through Rey’s window when she woke up was blinding. Yellow starlight caught on tiny little particles of dust that wandered through the air, and sent her brain wondering if perhaps she was still dreaming. She wouldn’t have minded if she was; the dream the night before had been a good one.

In it, she and Ben had set off to do as they’d agreed; and they’d gone off into the stars to catch up on all the living they’d missed while he was taken by dark and she was too afraid to leave. They’d taken the Falcon and flown to next stop: anywhere, and aside from the dream she’d had where they’d been in Snoke’s throne room together, she’d never been more disappointed to wake up.

At least, that was the case until a pair of strong, muscular arms flexed around her waist as she shifted her eyes away from the sun, and then she was smiling again as she remembered that at least a part of it was true. She and Ben were still married, they’d never annulled their stupid — yet unexpectedly wonderful — Canto Bight marriage, and he was currently pressed up against her as he held her in his arms. Another giggle threatened to rouse him fully into consciousness as she felt his warm breath tickle the nape of her neck, but she managed to only sigh, and lay a hand gently over his.

She couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt this happy; when there was no lingering background threat and no one trying their damndest to attempt to kill her or her loved ones, or when she’d experienced so much love — both romantic and platonic — from anyone. It hadn’t really happened for her yet until those past few weeks with Ben there, and she couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she’d gotten to experience it.

A small groan sounded from behind her, and she squeezed her husband’s hand as she clutched it tight against her chest. A contented exhale escaped her lungs, and she leaned her head back into his. “Morning.”

“I hope it isn’t,” Ben grumbled as he buried his face further against her neck. “Let’s sleep a little while longer.”

Another smile blossomed to her face as she turned her head slightly as if she’d be able to look at him. “That sounds nice, but the sun’s in my kriffing eyes and I’ll go blind if we stay like this.”

An amused snort sounded from her husband, then he pulled back, and loosened the grip he had around her waist as she shifted in his arms until she had successfully turned to face him. The moment his face came into view, she could feel peace wash over through both ends of the bond. His deep brown eyes stared directly into her soul, and through the force that ran through both their veins, she could tell he loved what he saw. “That’s a better view,” he breathed, but before he could get anything else out, she cut him off with a quick — and clever if she said so herself — slightly flirtatious remark of her own.

“Yeah, it is,” she replied, then as his lips parted from surprise, she took the opportunity to gently lean in, and press a kiss to his lips.

A flicker of shock drifted into the bond, then Ben was kissing her back, and she grinned as her hand came up to thread her fingers into his hair. Kissing him was like coming up for air in spite of the lack of oxygen involved in it, and she found that even as time had started to pass, she wasn’t growing tired of it. Over the past weeks, their relationship had been tested, but through it all they’d always found time for this.

In the heat of battle they always managed to find some way to kiss before going in blasters blazing, and in the aftermath they tended to do it again when no one was watching. Well, if no one was looking, they weren’t necessarily restricted to just kissing, and some days, they took full advantage of that. For all they knew, in spite of the seemingly imminent victory for the Resistance, they’d still be killed within days, and every moment they were alive wasn’t one that could be wasted.

 _It still wasn’t_ , she thought as Ben rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him as his arms wrapped around her waist again, and his massive palms covered her spine. Shivers ran through her body at the intimate touch, but she ignored them as she pulled away briefly to catch a hint of the breath her lungs so desperately craved. As she did so, she caught sight of the wonder in his eyes again; something which always made itself known whenever he looked at her in the aftermath of a kiss, and was always followed by a feeling of serenity. It was how she knew he was finally at peace, his conflicted soul no longer at war with itself, and she lived for the moments in which she felt it.

Before she could say anything about it, Ben leaned up and kissed her again softly, letting out a small moan into their kiss as she shifted above him so that her legs straddled his hips, allowing her to kiss him more deeply. _Oh,_ she was getting used to this. Where their first instances of physical intimacy had carried an air of awkwardness underlying the affection, they’d since mastered the craft of showing one another how they felt through touch. It felt perfectly natural — and it always had, but even more so now — to kiss him like this, and with the warm light of the morning sun, the whole scene made her feel at ease, like she’d been doing this with him for years instead of a month or two.

She knew he felt it, too. Ben projected the exact same feelings into their bond that she always did, and something about that made her feel emotions she’d thought long dead and buried in the sands of Jakku. By the time the two of them reached old age, Rey knew without a shadow of a doubt that their marriage would still be unearthing things like that within them both. There was no more wondering if he’d always feel like that now — only certainty.

Of course, right when she’d decided that there had never been a more tranquil morning in the whole of existence, her stomach growled, and both of them paused, freezing for a split second in the kiss before Ben broke away to burst into a fit of laughter. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, and she collapsed against his shaking chest as she hid her face in shame, though she was laughing just as hard as he was. Tears sprang to her eyes from the fit they were both having over the little noise of hunger her stupid kriffing stomach had made, and every time she thought they’d finally stop giggling, he started it again.

“Ben, it’s not that funny,” she protested as she turned her head up, and rested her chin on his sternum. “I’m just hungry.”

Another small chuckle escaped him before he finally stopped, then he sighed, and she shook her head at his pink face. “I thought we were supposed to go back to sleep.”

“When you started kissing me like that, we both knew we weren’t,” Rey replied, then she sat up, resting comfortably from her perch on his lower abdomen before crossing her arms over her chest. “Sorry I ruined it.”

“Ruined it?” he asked, his voice gaining a softer tone to it, then he too sat up, and took her face in his hands, studying it for a moment before he leaned forward to press a tiny kiss to her cheek. “No, Rey, you didn’t. You made it better. I needed to laugh that hard…”

The corners of her mouth twitched upward. “We both did.”

“Your unending appetite can ruin a kiss anytime it wants to,” he continued, earning a chuckle out of his wife. “But in all seriousness… do you want food?”

She didn’t hesitate to nod, feeling that familiar, slightly gnawing sort of ache in her stomach as he continued holding her in their firm embrace. “Kriff, yes. Neither of us has eaten since we’ve been back, we should’ve gone sooner.”

“We did fall asleep the moment our heads hit the pillow,” Ben pointed out, then he frowned. “Now that you mention it, I’m hungry, too.”

“Mmmmhm, I thought so,” she replied, then she crawled off of the mattress, and held out her hand to him. “Come on, let’s go make sure we won’t be interrupted later.”

His eyes darkened slightly at that, but he gave her a nod as he too stood, then he frowned as he took in her appearance, then his own. “Rey, we forgot to change clothes last night.”

 _Kriff_. Just one look down confirmed they had indeed neglected to change out of their slightly battle charred, sweat coated clothes from the intense, final win they’d scored the night before. A quick sniff into the air confirmed that neither of them smelled particularly wonderful either, and Rey nearly groaned as she pointed in the direction of the fresher. “Let’s clean off then,” she said, already removing the shirt she’d worn into battle the previous day as she made her way inside.

There was the sound of some rustling clothing, then she heard Ben follow quickly behind her, and the layers they wore grew smaller by the second until it was just them and the hot spray of her fresher. Until it was her hands in his hair again while he lifted her up into the wall while his mouth found hers. Until they’d forgotten to try and clean themselves completely… and until Rey’s stomach interrupted them again with another growl.

Half an hour later, the damp haired — freshly dressed — couple strode into the commissary together side by side. Rey was half tempted to hold his hand, but the last few times she’d done that, she’d gotten weird looks and whisperings, as well as the slightly inappropriate remarks from Poe once they’d sat down.

Since Ben had turned to their side, he’d been given a mixed reception. People either forgave him for what he’d done in the effort to bring peace to the galaxy, or they scowled at him in the hallways, unable to move on from the past he wanted so badly to die. The sole thing that kept a few of the more vocally hateful people at bay, Rey figured, was Leia. The General was always a voice of reason. Her word was law, though if she saw fit to change, she would. And so people generally left him alone, but the stares didn’t stop, and people just sat quietly and stewed if they were in the camp of not wanting him there.

They got their food in silence, though they spent the entire exchange tossing one another coy smiles until they sat down at a table in the corner, where Finn and Poe were already sitting down to eat their breakfast, and chatting away animatedly. The moment they sat down though, both men fell silent for a moment. It was only half a second, but it felt like ages. Since Ben had joined them, the commander had been hesitant around him, even if there was a level of trust between them in the aftermath of their escape from the Supremacy II. Eventually, he slowly started loosening up, but that had been a recent development. Finn was equally hesitant, but had come to an understanding since the moment he’d caught them kissing on Canto Bight that if Rey could love and trust Ben, then maybe he was okay.

“You two get any sleep?” Poe asked when the awkward moment ended, a suggestive grin lighting up his face.

Rey almost laughed. “Poe, we fell asleep so quickly we forgot to change our clothes.” She watched as he threw his head back, and applauded her confession as his chest shook with laughter. “We didn’t do anything you think we did.”

“Poe, they’re married,” Finn reminded them. “It’s not that big a deal if they…” He shuddered. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

“I’d prefer you not thinking about it, thanks,” Ben muttered, and she took his hand under the table, squeezing it reassuringly as he managed to blush at Finn’s words.

“Doesn’t that question also make you a bit of a hypocrite, Poe?” Rey asked curiously, then she took a bite of her food as he stared at her with confusion in his eyes. “I know you’re off doing the same thing most nights.”

“Yeah, but everyone knows I do, and it’s fun to get a rise out of our resident sith lord.” The commander gestured to Ben, who rolled his eyes as he visibly searched for a way to exit the conversation.

For a moment, Ben looked around the commissary in slight confusion. “Where’s Rose?”

“Probably still in her bunk asleep,” Finn replied, gesturing vaguely behind him. “Just like the majority of the base. Everyone’s wiped out from yesterday. I’d thought we’d all be ready to celebrate, but…” He shook his head as he looked at Rey. “Like you said, I was asleep the second my head hit the pillow.”

Poe took a sip of his caff, and nodded. “Neither of us could stay awake. We just collapsed. I saw that mattress and I…” he took in a deep, slow breath. “I don’t even remember lying down.”

“That’s because you fell over and I had to carry you into bed, you were so tired.” Finn was laughing, though, as he took Poe’s hand. “And I passed out a few seconds later.”

“So Rose is just lucky then?” Rey mused, taking another bite of the bland commissary food. “And managed to get more sleep than any of us.”

The others all muttered their agreements, then fell into a comfortable silence as they ate their food. Perhaps it should’ve been awkward, but for some reason, in their still exhausted and weakened states they were perfectly content. Even in spite of the tensions that still lingered with regards to Ben, she couldn’t detect any uncomfortable signals radiating from her friends. It seemed that finally, after so much fighting, peace was going to come to them all more easily than she thought.

The quiet didn’t last long, though. A few minutes after they started to actually eat their food, Rose finally joined them at the table with a cup of caff in one hand and a holo-pad in the other. “Good morning,” she all but sing-songed as she sat down beside Rey.

The other woman hummed a greeting as she swallowed her food. “Morning. You sleep in?”

Rose shook her head. “No, actually… I was busy.”

“Busy with what?” Finn asked, leaning forward over the table so he could see her around Rey.

A grin rose to her face as she turned on the holopad, and instantly Rey’s picture came up on the screen — right next to the name Rey Solo. “Busy undoing some damage,” she told them proudly. “I figured now that the war’s over… you’re safe to display your actual name.”

Rey’s jaw fell slack as she stared at her friend, then she wrapped her arms around Rose, holding her a bit more tightly than she probably needed to. “Thank you,” she whispered, then she repeated the sentiment a few more times into her ear before she let go.

A chuckle fell from Rose’s lips as she pulled back from the embrace, then she shut off the holopad. “All I did was put it in writing. It’s been your name since you got married.”

“I know, but it always felt like we were hiding it,” Rey said as she turned her eyes on Ben, who was sending waves of joy and relief through their bond that had her grinning openly as she met his gaze. “Now we don’t have to.”

Ben reached across the table then, and took her hand into his. “Never again.”

Another silence fell over the group as they took the time to hold one another’s hands and revel in the news that Rey had gotten her name back — officially. The gold of their rings had never shone more brilliantly, and when they let go of one another a minute later to enjoy their food, she knew that everything they’d gone through to get here was worth it. They’d fought for their love and won, and nothing could take it from them ever again.

“I know last night we were all exhausted,” Poe said after a while, reaching across the table for Finn’s hand as he looked at his partner sympathetically. “But now that it’s all over…” His eyes gained that suggestive look to them again, though, this time, Rey got the feeling he wasn’t about to say something sexual. “There’s a massive stash of liquor in our storage here, and I think we should make use of it.”

“Are you suggesting we drink to celebrate our victory?” Rose asked.

Poe nodded. “Precisely. We drink, we get the entire base together, play some music, sing some songs, maybe cheer, and just… just enjoy the fact that we’re _alive_.” After saying that, the commander’s expression sobered. “There were too many days out there that I thought I’d never see the sun again, and I’m sure we’ve all felt the same way.” He locked eyes with each and every one of them in turn, then he nodded. “I want to celebrate with you all…” He finished that by looking at Ben. “Especially you. You saved my life, you saved theirs, and the lives of everyone remaining on this base. And in spite of how things between us started, that means a lot to me, so… please join us. Celebrate. You’re one of my friends now, if you want to be.” With that, he turned to Ben, and reached a hand toward him. “What do you say?”

Ben’s face grew equally serious as he looked down at Poe’s hand, and she felt nerves give way to resolve through the bond as he gripped it in his own hand, and shook it. Both men gave each other small smiles as they pulled their hands away, then Poe addresses them all once more. “I’ll get the word out to whoever wants to celebrate with us tonight, then… let’s meet in the hangar at sundown. Let’s live.”

Another chorus of agreements sounded throughout the group, then the conversation shifted, changing to the subject of all the work the Resistance had to do to provide a substantial government for the galaxy. The First Order had thoroughly cut a knife through the republic they had tried so hard to build, but with time, they’d figure it out. The worst was over. The only direction they could build from there was up.

*

Hours later, Ben and Rey were in their bunk again, resuming their kiss from that morning that her appetite had cut short. She was straddling his hips as she bent down to kiss him deeply, relishing in the feeling of his hands in her hair as his tongue skirted along the line of her parted lips. A tiny hint of mischief carried over from her end of the bond as she allowed him access, and the two of them continued kissing on through the minutes as the sun began to set outside.

Poe’s idea for a celebration had been long forgotten. Especially when Ben loosened his grip on her hair as he shifted his hips, and turned them over so that she was beneath him without ever having to break their kiss. How they had managed to pull that off, she didn’t know, but they _had_ gotten rather good at this in recent weeks, so she supposed that pulling off effortless minor stunts during kisses shouldn’t come as a shock.

His hands were just finding his grip in her hair again — the ring on his finger just starting to press into her scalp — when a minute later there was a loud banging on the door of their bunk, and he pulled away disappointingly fast. “ _Shit,_ ” he swore under his breath, then he groaned. “Who is it?”

“It’s Rose!” A voice from the other side of the door cried. “Stop having sex and get out here! I’m not walking to this celebration alone!”

Rey made a small noise of disdain as she wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, and pulled him closer to her. “We’ll be there in a minute!”

“Do we have to?” Ben grumbled, then she nodded, and he groaned again before kissing her briefly, then he crawled off of his wife to stand up and offer her his hand.

Rey giggled quietly as she took it, lacing their fingers together as she strode from the room by his side, and the two of them joined Rose in the hallway. Neither had bothered to check how disheveled they were beforehand, of course, and thus when they walked out, their friend blinked at them with a disappointed — but not surprised — look on her face. “Really?”

Glancing over at Ben, she winced upon finding his hair was sticking up in places, and falling into his face in others. “Oh, Kriff.”

“You don’t look much better,” he assured her, then he froze for the tiniest millisecond known to the universe, and lowered his voice. “But you’re still beautiful to me.”

“Nice recovery,” she told him, then she reached up, and began to adjust his hair so it fell back into place. Simultaneously, he did the exact same thing to her as Rose crossed her arms over her chest in the background and waited patiently for them to finish making themselves presentable.

It took them another minute, but they managed to get themselves looking presentable enough to go out in public and celebrate with whoever  had managed to wake up after the previous day’s events. When they finished combing through one another’s hair and adjusting their clothes, they turned to Rose in unison, and Rey muttered a quiet apology as a blush crept up her cheeks.

“It’s fine,” Rose assured her as she began to lead them down the hall. “Let’s go.”

“You think Finn and Poe are doing the same thing?” Rey asked.

“Considering they’re the ones who told me to go find you? No,” Rose replied, then she seemed to think for a second. “Unless they’re doing it in public. It wouldn’t surprise me. We know Poe has probably sullied every single ship in that hangar.”

“He hasn’t done it on the Falcon, has he?” Ben inquired, and Rey nearly choked on her own breath.

All three of them looked at one another with both humor and concern in their eyes, and quiet giggles sounded from their lips as they rounded a corner. Rey slowly stopped giggling after a while, then she nodded. “I think so. I once caught him looking like we just did outside the Falcon with two other men.”

Rose raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “On the _Falcon_?”

“On the Falcon,” Rey deadpanned, trying not to giggle again at how Ben turned just a bit paler upon hearing that.

“Kriff, it’s a good thing he’s settled down.”

Ben laughed at this. “That just means he’s going to desecrate every ship in the fleet with one person instead of many.”

Rose groaned. “I can never sit in a cockpit again,” she muttered, causing the other two to giggle as they finally approached the hangar.

Already Rey could hear a familiar jazz tune not unlike the one she and Ben had danced to on their wedding night playing behind the doors. The memory sent shivers running down her spine as the thought back to that night; when the stars had shone above them and the lights of the city twinkled down below as they held one another properly for the first time and just _swayed_ ; as he attempted to teach her how to waltz, and they fully embraced the connection that had blossomed between them.

Going by the nostalgia she felt through the bond, Ben was feeling the exact same way.

As they walked into the hangar with Rose, Rey took sight of the makeshift band that was playing. Several of their members had gathered together on the side of the hangar to play their instruments while others danced, some drank, and a select few attempted both. She watched with a growing sense of delight as the band picked up the pace of their song, causing the people dancing to nearly trip over themselves as they tried to keep up, and felt peace wash over her.

Seeing this made it clear to her that it wasn’t just a really good dream. It was real, and finally they could let go and enjoy their lives, they could live like they had more than just tomorrow, and Rey couldn’t wait to find out what lay beyond the next sunrise.

As the band moved on from their jazz tune into a slower waltz she definitely recognized, Rey turned to her husband, and held out her hand. “You want to dance?”

Another smile tilted the corners of Ben’s mouth. “Sure,” he replied, then he took her hand in his,  and the two of them joined the many dancers in the hangar, but stayed closer to the edges.

They wound up dancing near an aging x-wing that was probably in need of repair and a paint job, but they hardly noticed it. Just like the night of their wedding and the night they’d remembered it, the entire world seemed to  disappear around them except for the sweet, gentle sound of the music. A sigh escaped her as she pulled herself a little closer to Ben, and glanced up into his eyes. “There was a time when I thought this would be impossible. I didn’t think you’d leave…”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I… I’ve already said this, I know, but I… I should’ve come with you after I killed Snoke.”

“Ben… I don’t know if things would’ve turned out the same if we’d done it that way,” she admitted, gripping his hand a little more tightly as they danced. “Maybe it all had to play out exactly as it did.”

He sighed. “Then why do I still have so much regret?”

“Because it wasn’t perfect, because mistakes were made, and… because we spent so much time quietly wishing we’d do something about the connection between us we did nothing at all… until…” She spared a glance to the rings they’d drunkenly bought the night of their wedding. “And we both wish we hadn’t wasted our time.”

“At least we have each other now,” he told her, then he shook his head. “But that’s… that’s all in the past, and if you’re ready… I want to move on.”

Rey looked at him for a moment, allowing herself to be hypnotized by the flecks of gold in his eyes before she nodded. “I’d love to. Whenever you’re ready, let’s go… I want to see as much of the galaxy as I can before we die.”

Ben’s eyes filled with joy as he squeezed her hand. “Then where should we go first?”

Another grin parted her lips as she leaned forward, and whispered her answer quietly into his ear — where she knew no one else could risk hearing it as they continued waltzing about the hangar — before she pulled back, and watched him nod. “That’s where I want to go,” she told him, keeping a careful eye on his expression as she pulled back. “Next stop: everywhere.”

“I think we can do that,” he replied, then the two of them resumed their dance across the hangar floor, celebrating their victory surrounded by their closest friends — and later, when Leia joined them, their family as well.

It felt like two celebrations in one, if Rey were being honest. Yes, they’d finally been allowed a victory to celebrate, but they’d earned a celebration of their marriage as well. She’d heard of people throwing parties of sorts to celebrate a new marriage throughout the galaxy, but growing up on Jakku, she’d never thought it’d be possible for herself. Of course, thinking back on that conversation they’d had by her window just a couple of days before she’d shipped off to Cantonica for the second time, neither had he. They’d defied the impossible together so many times already, and as she looked out amongst the crowd of their friends, she had a feeling they’d keep doing so for many years to come.

Over on the far side of the hangar, she saw Finn and Poe dancing as closely with one another as she was with Ben. The commander’s eyes were closed peacefully as he held his partner, and the two made their way across the hangar with soft smiles on their faces that had her thinking someday — though perhaps a bit more slowly — she’d be making another trip to Canto Bight, and next time she’d stand as a witness.

Nearby, Rose was sharing a drink with another woman — a pilot she recognized from having flown a few practice runs with her and Poe — both of them laughing harder than she’d ever seen, and while they looked exhausted beneath their smiles, she’d never  sensed such immense waves of happiness coming from any of them.

But more than anyone, she’d never quite seen a smile successfully reach Leia Organa’s eyes. She’d been delighted when she’d seen Rey and Ben’s wedding rings, and later when they’d successfully worked out a plan to rescue her son, but maybe because it was all finally over, she was finally allowing herself to experience a moment of true joy.

Whatever it was, it filled Rey’s own heart with excitement for the future, for all the days she’d see her friends like that again as she rested her head on Ben’s chest, and felt him press a gentle kiss to the top of her head while they swayed next to the decrepit x-wing. The war, the bloodshed, and the terrors were over now, and the rest of their lives was just beginning.


	20. Opening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, sweet holy shit. It’s the end. I... I can’t fucking believe this. Thank you all so much for the response to this story, thank you a million fucking times because it’s truly been wonderful. Writing this fic got me through some of the hardest months of my life, and it was always great to come around and see your lovely comments and talk with you, and I’m going to miss it so much. 
> 
> Currently, I am on a plane heading back from New York to home, and the captain is telling us to return to our seats because turbulence. I was there cause I saw Burn This with a bunch of other wonderful Reylos and writers and every single one of them is absolutely amazing and if you ever get the chance to meet them, take it. They’re all wonderful. 
> 
> Anyway, I’ve enjoyed my time with y’all, I’m absolutely delighted that I got the chance to write this for us, and I hope that if you’re reading this long after this has finished that you enjoyed the journey. 
> 
> In other news? Now this is over, I’ll be commencing work on my other WIP, In Living Memory, full time and I am deeply excited for everyone to see where it goes, so if you decided you like my bull shit, there’s some more. 
> 
> Till next time,  
> — Waffles

One year later, that future was shining brightly. In particular, the light of a rising Naboo sun was shining directly into the master bedroom of an estate once owned by Ben’s grandmother, and directly onto the half naked bodies of Rey and her husband — bodies that would have been fully naked were it not for the silky soft sheets draped on top of them, preventing them from getting cold in the night as they slept. Of course, in some places, they’d slipped down to reveal large expanses of their skin, in particular, her back and his chest, and it was just enough that anyone looking could see exactly how intimately they were holding each other. 

Ben’s arm was wrapped around Rey’s waist, holding her close against him as she used his shoulder for a pillow, and slept quietly on top of him with her abdomen pressed firmly against the mattress. Her husband was lying on his back, though his head was tilted in her direction, his warm breath ghosting over her hair, making her aware of his presence even in her unconscious state. 

It wasn’t long, though before she became aware that Ben was awake, and she could sense his eyes resting on her sleeping face much the same way she’d watched him in the first minutes of her own waking many times since they’d first accidentally married. The realization of what he was doing caused the corners of her mouth to twitch, and she heard him chuckle softly before he leaned forward, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Good morning.”

Rey smiled fully as she opened her eyes, finding the golden flecks that were sprinkled throughout his irises instantly. “Good morning,” she replied, tightening the grip of her arm around his waist. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to know that you snore, too,” he said, then she groaned as she buried her face in his shoulder, and sighed against his warm skin. 

“ _ Kriff _ ,” she breathed, then Ben burst into a fit of laughter, and scooped her up properly into his arms, pulling her on top of him with little effort. Rey hummed as she settled into this new position, crossing her arms over his chest and propping her chin over where they were joined so that she could look at him. From this angle, she could see every little detail of his face, every little black hair that had fallen into disarray in the night and from their activities just before sleep. She could see the scar she’d once given him in anger, and she was grateful now more than ever that her lightsaber had somehow missed his eye, and allowed her to see the love projected in it now as he looked at her. 

Ben reached forward, and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “One year.” His voice was quiet, disbelieving, as if somehow, after all this time he still couldn’t fathom that this was real; that they’d gotten this lucky, and that they had each other — that he loved her and she loved him, and that wasn’t going to change. 

“One year,” she repeated, remembering the mission she’d been sent on just a year ago that day. She was just supposed to get money for the cause. It was supposed to be a simple trip, but by some coincidence, some beautiful turn of fate, that had been the moment he’d decided to escape the order. Now, one year later, they were about to celebrate their first wedding anniversary, and Rey’s heart was more full than ever. 

She’d never needed much, and maybe she could’ve gone through life without marrying Ben, or without needing anything at all, but…  _ kriff _ , she was so glad she had him. She’d gotten everything she’d ever wanted, and she didn’t need anything else, just many, many more years with him. 

Ben’s lips turned up into a smile, and unable to resist, she leaned forward, and captured them in another kiss to celebrate their first year together. In spite of how much she could still feel sleep holding onto him, he was quick to reply, his hands sliding down onto her back, and his palms splaying out over her spine. 

Surges of emotions passed through them as they moved together with a rhythm that was well practiced — any traces of awkwardness that had cropped up between them were long gone by then. They’d learned together over the past year, getting better at this and everything else beyond it as one unit. They’d built something out of the connection between them that wasn’t breakable, something that no one would ever be able to tear from them. 

Not that there was anyone around anymore who could even try. 

“Rey,” Ben breathed as he briefly came up for air, and she shushed him briefly as she leaned back in, amazed at how her heart could still be racing after all this time just because of a kiss. With him, though, it had never taken much to get it pounding in her chest, and through the bond, she could tell he was the same way. Well, the bond and the fact that he was pinned beneath her — that her hands were pressed against his chest. She could feel his heart beating as quickly as hers, both of them rendered fully awake by how fast their pulses were racing. 

After a while, she pulled away again, and leaned her chin back on her crossed arms over his chest as she looked at him with what she knew had to be adoration in her eyes. “And… and we’ll have many more,” she said as they recovered from the kiss, both their chests heaving as they came down from the small high brought about by simply pressing their lips together. “You’ve still got hundreds of planets to take me too. I know we haven’t seen everywhere green yet.”

“Rey, that’ll take a lifetime, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t,” she promised, pressing another tiny kiss to his lips before pulling back. “I’m just… I’m excited for the rest of it.”

“Me too,” he replied, then he sighed as he ran a hand through her hair, something she’d noticed he’d loved doing more and more lately. There was something in his eye as he stared at her; that thing between them she’d noticed from almost the beginning that transcended words, and for a moment, they fell silent as that feeling passed through the bond. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed nervously, then he held her tighter against him as they laid there in the quiet, listening to the sounds of the world outside. 

A bird of some sort let out a cry a minute later, causing both of them to burst into fits of giggles from shock at the sound, then Rey let out a deep breath. “I love you.”

“I know,” he replied, then his wife gently smacked his chest with her palm, and he let out another chuckle before he nodded, and corrected himself. “Rey… I love you, too.”

“Mmhmm, I thought so.” She then leaned forward and caught him in another head spinning, heart racing kiss that had her feeling heat flush throughout her body. After making him lose his mind for a few seconds, she pulled away, but let his lower lip be tugged between her teeth as she pulled back. “You mind proving it?”

A little smirk blossomed on Ben’s face, then he leaned forward, and kissed her again before he gripped her tightly, and rolled them over so that he was on top of her. Laughter erupted from them both as he began immediately trailing kisses along her jaw, smiles breaking out between each one as he made his way onto her neck, and his hands began a wandering path of their own. They swept up along the sides of her waist, and around the sides of her breasts as he sucked a mark into the juncture of her neck and shoulder, and her breathing shuddered as he moved on to her collar bone, his lips getting closer to one of her favorite places he liked to put his mouth —

Before they could get any further — hell, before they could really even start — the door to their bedroom burst open with gusto, and they quickly rolled over in the sheets, covering themselves up to their chins before Poe Dameron strolled casually into the room with a stupidly broad grin on his face. He didn’t even open his mouth before Rey felt anger welling up within both herself and her husband, regret settling in completely for allowing their friends to visit them at such a time. “Good morning!” he cried, his voice taking on the tone of a song as he strode in, stopping just at the foot of their bed. 

“Poe, would you mind kriffing knocking?” Rey asked with a groan, throwing one of her pillows at him. She was almost too angry to mourn the loss of the extra support it had given her. The commander had just robbed her of some much needed, much wanted celebratory anniversary sex. “Don’t you knock?”

“I would’ve knocked if the two of you weren’t extremely late. We’ve had the supplies ready for an hour!” Poe replied, and instantly, Rey remembered the day before, and her palm came up to her head as it hit her. They’d agreed to all go for an early morning picnic together. Their friends would celebrate with them in the morning, and they would have the evening to themselves after that. It was meant to be a celebration of a year since everything had gone down, since they’d joined forces, since Ben and Rey had been married, and since Poe, Finn, and Rose had allowed him into their circle for the first time. 

“I… I forgot…” Rey replied, feeling a genuine little spike of guilt run through her before she sighed. “Just give us a few minutes to get dressed.”

Poe shook his head. “It’s fine, but meet us at the entrance soon, I don’t want to miss the sunlight.” With that, their bedroom’s uninvited guest made his way out, and they were once again alone. 

“Next year, remind me to take us to an uninhabited planet to  _ ensure  _ we don’t have to deal with unwanted guests,” Ben muttered bitterly, then Rey laughed as they both rolled onto their backs in the bed. “But… he’s right, and… I never thought I’d say this, but… I actually want to join them.”

Hearing those words from his lips had her heart soaring in her chest, and she nodded as she leaned over, and kissed him gently on the cheek. “I do, too.”

“But maybe… maybe we’ll make them wait a little longer first. Show them what happens when they decide to barge in without knocking.”

“Oh, that’s rude.”

“Maybe. What do you say?” Ben asked, gently running his hands back over her body until she felt one cupping her back and the other pressing into the center of her chest. “Rey?”

She stared at him for a moment, letting him beg with his eyes for her to say yes while she relished in his pleading. “We’ll have to be quick,” she told him after a while, then he laughed, the sound a low rumble emanating from deep within his chest. 

“I think we can manage,” he said, then he was kissing her again, and her hands were threading themselves through his hair, and he rolled her onto her back as they finally began to properly celebrate their first year together. 

*

Far too much time later, Ben and Rey stumbled out of their bedroom hand in hand, ecstatic grins on their faces as they made their way into the main part of the house, where they had no doubt Finn, Poe, and Rose were all waiting for them with their arms crossed over their chests and disappointed stares in their eyes. In all honesty, she couldn’t wait to see them, nor the crimson blush she hoped would stain their commander’s cheeks when he realized what he’d caused. Of course, knowing him, he wouldn’t give a damn, but it was a nice thought. 

“That was perfect,” she said as they rounded the corner, and found their friends waiting for them with picnic supplies at the end of the corridor. 

“Perfect enough to justify the way Poe and Finn are looking at us right now?”

“Definitely,” she assured him, then she chuckled at the expression worn by their third friend. “Rose doesn’t seem too mad.”

“She’s probably the only reason Poe didn’t burst in before he did,” Ben muttered. 

“You’re probably right.” 

After that, they fell silent; both trying and failing to keep from smiling as they approached the trio standing by the front door. “Morning,” Rose said in greeting. “You two sleep in?”

“Something like that,” Ben replied sarcastically, and Rey nearly lost her composure. 

Poe rolled his eyes, then he gestured to the door. “Shall we?” he asked, then without waiting for anyone’s response, he opened it, and together the five of them walked out into the Naboo sunlight. 

*

Another half an hour later, they were sitting in the grassy fields, talking together and laughing as little cumulus clouds rolled in overhead. It was perfectly serene, beautiful, and the most at peace she had ever felt. For someone who’d been surrounded by misery and death all her life, waking up every day to a sort of paradise was something that would take her many more years to get used to. 

She still wasn’t used to having friends who loved her the way Rose, Finn, and Poe did. She couldn’t fathom how Ben could look at her with such wonder in his eyes — as if _he_ couldn’t believe that she was in _his_ arms — as they listened to the conversation. It was all still so new and so fresh, and if she were being honest, realizing that none of it was a dream each morning was the best part of the day. 

It struck Rey as she took a sip of the wine that Poe had brought that this was never going to change again. If all went well, they were going to keep living like this, they were going to keep on making memories and growing old together — well, maybe she wouldn’t see Rose, Finn, and Poe as often, but the point still stood — and there was never going to be a war again. 

And so there she was, sprawled out on green grass, her head in her husband’s lap while her hair splayed out over his gray trousers — not unlike the ones he’d worn to their meeting on Crait — and she laughed at something Rose had told them. It was the exact scene from the dream she’d had a year earlier after she’d returned from their mission on Crait, and now that she had the context… it was even better. 

“That’s not true,” Ben said in response. “Hux didn’t build the second Supremacy that large to destroy the Resistance.”

Poe grinned at him wickedly. “Then what  _ did _ he build it for?”

Ben’s initial response was a chuckle as he raised a champagne glass to his lips. “Well, over the time I knew the general, I saw many things about him. Some great, some terrifying, and some…” He pinched two fingers close together, but didn’t let them touch. “Rather small.”

A pause, then loud, booming laughter echoed through the group as they processed the implication of Ben’s statement, Finn and Poe collapsing into one another while Rose attempted to support herself on the former’s shoulder. This failed miserably, and all three fell to the ground in a heap of laughter as Ben and Rey clutched their aching sides.

“Okay, Rey,” Poe said as he recovered himself, helping first Finn then Rose to get back into sitting positions. “You were right… Ben… welcome to the family. ” He held out his hand to the other man then, and Rey noticed her husband’s golden wedding ring shining in the sunlight as he reached out to shake the commander’s hand.

The two men smiled as they looked at one another, making Rey realize again that this was not a dream, but a damn good memory in the making. It was a fantasy that had become  reality, and she had never been so glad to be out there in a field beneath a sunny sky laughing amongst the people she loved most while the galaxy around them remained at peace.

The sight made her feel good about what was to come next in her life, especially as she looked over to Finn and Poe’s entwined fingers, watching as the latter of the two looked at the former with love in his eyes. In this world, this galaxy, they all had happy lives, and in spite of all that had happened to the past, they had decided to live at least parts of them together. Looking at them now, it was as if Poe, Finn, Rose and the man they’d once known as Kylo Ren had never had any quarrels in the first place. The way they all looked at one another it was like they’d been friends for many years instead of just one, and it was only a matter of time before that too became a reality. 

“You’ve always been family,” she whispered to Ben as the others struck up another conversation about Hux’s smaller appendages. “Since last year, at least.”

Ben swallowed, then he rested a hand on her cheek that was still mercifully bare. Ever since they’d rescued him from the Order, she hadn’t seen him wear gloves once. There was no longer any trace of the black leather that had once hidden him from the world, just his bare hands. Looking at him now, she remembered the first time she saw it —  _ or touched it  _ — when they’d first talked amicably in the firelight. How far they’d come since then marveled her still. It was another thing that should’ve been impossible, and yet… somehow they’d gotten here. 

“So have you,” Ben whispered, then Rey sat up from her position in his lap, and took his face into her hands. For a moment, the world around them disappeared, everything else was gone; it was only a myth and a memory, even as it surrounded them. The galaxy was empty, and it was only the two of them sitting there on that little hill in Naboo. 

“To one year,” she said, raising her glass, and clinking it against his. 

“And to many more,” he continued, then they both set their drinks to the ground without taking a sip. Those too became background noise, disappearing into reality as Ben and Rey leaned into one another, as his hand came up to caress his cheek, and he leaned in to press his lips softly against hers. 

As they shared this latest kiss, surrounded by their friends — who were pointedly ignoring them — Rey thought back to the first they’d shared on Cantonica. When she closed her eyes, she could see the lights, taste the liquor on his lips as they captured hers for the first time, and feel the sheer joy in the bond that had accompanied it. 

She sighed as she pulled back from him, resting her forehead against his as the sun shone out from behind a cloud in the partly cloudy sky, bathing them in a comforting warmth. Without saying another word, Rey rested a hand over the one he’d put on her cheek, and smiled. “So where are we going next?”

Ben let out a tiny laugh, and shrugged as he opened his eyes, glancing curiously between hers. “I don’t know yet,” he told her. “But… I did promise you somewhere green this morning…”

“Mmm, you did.”

“So we’ll spend a few more days here, and… then we’ll go somewhere with the most lush forest you’ve ever seen.”

Another grin crossed her face as she pulled away, and rested her hands on his shoulders. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ben leaned forward then, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, humming contentedly as he wrapped an arm around her waist as they turned together, and slowly reintegrated themselves into the conversation. As they talked, Rey found a new sense of excitement brewing within her. They’d already been so many places just within their first year of marriage alone, that trying to grasp the immense amount that they had yet to see was nearly impossible. 

But wherever they went didn’t matter, because each time, she knew with absolute certainty that they’d do it together. The universe was done separating them; done putting them at odds with one another; done putting them through absolute and pure hell. The worst was long over, and in spite of it having already been a year… the future was just beginning. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! I'm on [ Tumblr](https://sand-its-everywhere.tumblr.com/) , feel free to yell at me there or on [ twitter!](https://twitter.com/spacewafflehou1) Till next time.


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